Power Hungry
Warning(s): Yaoi, cracktastic, one shot, spoilers, possibly OOC, swearing. There will be character bashing(Nothing personal, though)
Characters involved: Aizen, Tousen, Gin, Yammy, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Nnoitra.
Disclaimer:Don't own bleach, don't own Street fighter, don't hate the characters. Yeah. So...
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-(Aizens throne room)-
Yammy looked around the room he was in- Aizen's throne room. As per the majority of the buildings in Las Noches, the only life in the room were the company within its walls, considering they were all entirely prison white. The consistent and standard architecture within Las Noches did not help add atmosphere to what Yammy believed to be the most BORING place since Hueco Muendo itself.
Or the meetings (Yammy felt proud of himself for that joke).
Of course, Yammy could not say that out loud, considering that Aizen would no doubt take it upon himself to personally show Yammy what it meant to be the ruler of Las Noches, and what he thought of people who didn't follow his orders.
By killing him(as if I need to clarify).
Aizen turned to the Cero Espada with a coy smile on his face, reminiscent of the smile he wore before he killed Momo.
Not that Yammy knew who she was or what that smile was, though.
In truth, it was Aizen's indulgence smile. It was the smile he wore when he was about to indulge in something he'd wanted for a long time.
Stabbing his stalker of a vice-captain, for example.
"So, Yammy, do you know why I called you here?" Yammy immediately began to fidget.
"Um... n-n-no, Aizen-sama." Aizen's smile grew a little higher, barely noticed to Yammy and completely unnoticed to Tousen (I think we all know why).
"You see, Yammy, I am thinking of making Las Noches... how shall I say it... more comfortable after the war is won by our forces. So, one by one, I am going through the espada waiting for their suggestions. Do you have any, Yammy-kun?" Aizen cursed as his smile dropped for little more than a millisecond, angry with himself for starting to slip.
"Well..."
-(Outside Aizens throne room)-
"Why did you bring me here again, Grimmjow?"
"Ulquiorra, you know as well as I do that Aizen certainly does not play by the same rules as we do."
Ulquiorra shook his head. "That is because Aizen-sama rules Las Noches, not you and me."
Grimmjow just stared blankly at him. Ulquiorra obviously had no idea what he was talking about.
Figures.
From inside, they heard the beginning of Yammys train of thought (which, in their opinion, was a very very small train) with a tell-tale "Well..."
Ulquiorra was the first to react. "Yammy, you idiot. Don't answer." He harshly whispered.
In response to this, Grimmjow only smiled. Ulquiorra turned to him and, as per his usual persona, told Grimmjow to do nothing more than "Leave."
"No way. This is going to be great."
"Hehehe, probably." The two espada turned to see their comrade in arms, Nnoitra Jiruga, sneaking towards them. "Fill me in?"
"Find out for yourself." Grimmjow replied.
"Asswipe."
With no more conversation, the three pressed their ears to the door, not questioning why Aizen had not sensed them yet.
-(Back in Aizens throne room)-
"Well... Why is everything so white? I mean, white is the colour of death, right? So, what, you want us to die or something? Also, could we get some more colour in here? I'm bored of seeing white, white and more white. The most colour I see around here is Grimmjow or Szayel's hair. Speaking of which, why do your hide your hair behind your forhead?"
He turned to Gin.
"And why are your eyes always closed?"
He turned to Tousen.
"And why are you always talking about justice? I mean, is she your girlfriend or something?"
-(Outside Aizens throne room)-
"Idiot..." Ulquiorra muttered under his breath.
Grimmjow and Nnoitra were holding back laughs with great difficulty.
Grimmjow decided that if he kept this up, he'd let slide the hair comment.
-(Back in Aizens throne room)-
"Also, why are we all wearing identical uniforms? I mean, are we in school or something? I mean, sure, I need to get smarter, but were you rejected from teaching in a school or something?"
-(Outside Aizens throne room)-
Grimmjow and Nnoitra were very nearly cracking, the odd laugh slipping through pursed lips.
Ulquiorra was thinking about the funeral.
-(Aizens throne room)-
"By the way, can I ask why Nnoitra got a giant spoon? I mean, I get a relative normal sword, Halibel gets a razor blade, and Nnoitra gets a spoon? So,what, Halibel is an emo who cuts herself and Nnoitra likes breakfast cereal? I can see why Barragan gets the throne-come-axe and Dorodoni gets his bent sword, but I don't understand why Nnoitra has a spoon and Halibel a razor."
-(Outside Aizens throne room)-
Even Ulquiorra let himself chuckle at this one.
Grimmjow was officially floored, breathless.
Nnoitra would be there too, were it not for the breakfast cereal comment.
He'd get him for that one.
-(Aizens throne room)-
"So, in short, I want the walls to be painted, to wear what I like and to cut the meetings and tea. Oh, and Tousen? You might want to see Halibel about your braids. I heard she was interested in doing your hair. From...somewhere."
-(Outside the throne room)-
"AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA-"They stopped to breathe sharply"-AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!" Grimmjow and Nnoitra were enjoying the best laughs of their afterlives, not caring that they were just outside Aizen's throne room.
"You're a moron, Yammy. You truly are." Ulquiorra shook his head. Officially, Yammy was dead.
-(Aizens throne room)-
"...Sure. I will have all that arranged. Do you have a particular colour in mind for the walls?"
outside the throne room, the entire of Las Noches went silent, as if that simple statement was a wave of Aizen's incredible power. Hearts stopped. Arrancar stopped fighting. Stark even went as far as to wake up.
At the same time, it could have been seen as a wave of Yammys incredible stupidity, with exactly the same effects.
"...Ask Halibel?" Yammy whimpered as if he was about to face a fate worse than death.
Aizen chuckled. "I will do, then." Oh he was definitely doomed.
-(Outside Aizens throne room)-
"Did...Aizen just..."
"Did Yammy seriously..."
"Before we all die, I have something to say. Uqliorra, you need to pull your stick from your ass. Nnoitra, you seriously need to stop thinking about 'it' because you'll never get some."
"Grimmjow, you must be the only person I know who'd make enemies just before he was about to die."
"What can I say?" Grimmjow shrugged.
"Sorry, maybe?" Grimmjow could practically see the anger on Nnoitra's face.
"Piss off, Nnoitra." Grimmjow waved it off like it was nothing.
"BASTARD!" Nnoitra swung down his blade at Grimmjow, only to be blocked by Ulquiorra.
"Nnoitra, Grimmjow is not a packet of breakfast cereal. Please do not meanlessly reveal our position over your stupid mistakes."
Grimmjow was convinced. "The world is definitely over. I regret nothing."
-(Aizen's throne room)-
"Well, Yammy, now that you have...enlightened us with your viewpoints, would you like to know the real reason I called you here."
Yammy was confused. "um...sure, Aizen-sama?"
"Well, the truth is Yammy, there was only one of the espada I wanted to talk to today." Aizen said as he flash-stepped behind the large espada.
"You." Aizen whispered in his ears before getting off hit tip toes, which he was only on to reach Yammys ear.
"..."
"I suppose you're wondering why I-" Aizen sighed like a schoolgirl, a rare blush appearing on his face. "-Fell for you. I've always had a thing for power. I've always wanted to be with the powerful, and I always wanted in control of that power."
"Is that why you only use Sagat offline and Zangief online in Street Fighter 4?" Gin commented, during what was quite possibly the worst time possible for Aizen.
"Shut up, Gin. Anyway, I suppose I've always wanted to be near power." He closed in.
"I need power." He snuggled up to Yammy.
"I need you."
-(Outside Aizens throne room)-
Grimmjow and Nnoitra were, quite literally, stunned.
Ulquiorra, however, decided to bust in.
"Grimmjow, paper."
Silently, without complaint, Grimmjow handed Ulquiorra paper and an inkbrush.
In less than a second, Ulquiorra had written his message and dashed into the throne room.
-(In the throne room)-
A lot of things happened very, very fast.
For one, Ulquiorra managed to pry Aizen off Yammy, slap him in the face, drop the note and sonido (the Arrancar flash-step) out the room in the time it took Gin and Tousen to get as far against the walls of Aizen's throne room as fast as possible.
Then, Grimmjow and Nnoitra came in to extract their fellow espada and the latest local comedian, only to find them missing, and left the room twice as fast as they came in.
After all this, and the three shinigami recovered, they opened the dropped note.
It read:
The Espada is mine, bitch.
-Ichigo
"DAMN YOU ICHIGO!!!"
-(Well away from the throne room)-
"Ichigo? Grimmjow, explain." Ulquiorra demanded, not faltering either his movement or voice.
"Damn, I used that piece of paper?"
The crying wreck that was Yammy stopped for a second before pointing at Grimmjow saying
"What are you, gay for him?"
Yammy shortly found a 'giant spoon' and pantera at his neck.
"You know, you said some bad things about us." Grimmjow growled.
"We're not going to take shit from the tenth espada." Nnoitra sadistically said, twisting Santa Teresa, the giant spoon, so it was set to take out his neck.
"It's been fun listening to you, but now you die. Any last words?"
Yammy stood still for a second, before Ulquiorra nodded at him.
"...Halibel acutally wants to do Tousens hair. I overheard her saying it to her suboridnates."
- - - - - - - -
Author's note: CRACK PAIRING I KNOW. I don't support AiYam, but the thought just occured to me and I decided to put it in. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!