Black. As always.
You think I would have gotten used to the darkness by now. I've had it almost my whole life. I've learned to live with it, to work around it, to strengthen my other senses as a replacement. I've learned to be OK with the fact that I can't see.
But I've never gotten used to it. I bemoan the fact everyday, that I can't see what my own flock members really look like. That everytime we move, and we move alot, I have to readjust. That I can't fight the Erasors the way the others do. I can still fight, and I fight pretty well, but not with the same skill.
I know they don't look down on me anymore because I can't see. I'm family. They respect the fact and try not to make me feel uncomfortable. But when Angel was captured--ages ago--and Max tried to make me stay behind becaue I was blind...It was a long time ago, I know, but I still remember the anger, the hurt, as though it were yesterday.
They've learned since then that I have abilities too. I might not have rapter vision, but I make up for it with a better sense of hearing, smell, and touch, as well as my skill with bombs and the ability to feel colors (not that it matters for anyone but me).
I can't help but feel angry at the scientists who did this to me. They were trying to play God, and as puny humans come to find out, it doesn't work. They're the ones who made my life suck. They made all our lives suck, but they did the worst to me. And they showed no remorse, for any of us. They ruined my life and then just said, 'oops' and walked away.
That time in Antarctica, when I found I could see the color white...that was the most exciting thing I remember. I thought, just for a minute there, that my sight might be returning. That no one would think less of me anymore. I've found since that I was wrong. Ever had your dreams dashed like that? Who hasn't?
Yeah, I don't feel quite as sorry for myself as I once did. I am OK with my 'disability', I really am, I just wish...But we all wish, at one point or another I guess. I'm still working on it, but I'll be OK. I'll never get used to it, but, hey, what can you do? That's life. Which is...
Black. As always.