Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me.
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Someday is the call that rings in his ears in the mornings, that sees him through each endless day and comforts him in the lonely nights. He whispers it quietly to keep from losing himself in the chasm of despair waiting to open in him.
Someday is what he keeps to himself when he finds his orders now met with respectful subservience instead of cheerful disregard, comforting disobedience. His servant is quiet, useful, and knows his place. Arthur finds he cannot look him in the eyes.
Someday is his response to Gwen's downcast, sad eyes, to Morgana's tightened lips of worry and anger. To Gaius's visible pain and the way he suddenly looks a decade older.
It thrums in his body with every time he turns to say something to someone who isn't there. His glass is always kept full at feasts, now, but he always leaves early. His hands clench into fists at his sides when he sees his room, spotless and everything in order. He never realized how much order there was in its previous disorder.
Not today he knows when he watches every execution, hears every anguished scream pierce his ears and his heart and his soul. He knows it cannot be today, and he turns away from the flames, sickened and tired.
Someday is what he had heard from Merlin's lips as he turned to look at him, shouldering his few belongings in a bag packed by Arthur's own hand. Merlin's lips had smiled though his eyes would not, and if there were tears, neither of them said anything. An outstretched hand with a telltale tremble knew how long that someday could take, but still Merlin had said it.
And someday Arthur had replied, throat tight with misery. Someday, someday, someday was an endless mantra in his mind as he told his servant, his best friend, his lover to leave his side. Be safe, Arthur, Merlin had said to him, breathing sharply and walking away. And Arthur will be safe.
His father had found love and been warped by the losing of it. Arthur will not let that happen to him.
Because Arthur has the promise of someday.
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