Chapter 1
She couldn't help it. She looked every day…often more than once. She looked for her former boss everywhere but always when she passed the Elias-Clarke building. She had gotten glimpses before, had seen a flash of silvery white hair or the scurrying of a frightened assistant but they had never connected. Until that moment, Andy had never stopped and watched. As if sensing the voyeur, Miranda looked across the street, immediately zeroing in on Andrew's still figure.
The women stood staring for a moment until Andy nodded, smiled, and waved.
Miranda didn't react until she was ensconced in the safety of her car. Then, despite herself, she smiled at just how little Andrea had changed. She was still optimistic obviously – smiling and waving at the woman she had abandoned. The moment that thought crossed Miranda's mind, the smile was gone, replaced by pursed lips and a determination not to cry.
Just as quickly as the car had pulled out into traffic, it pulled back to the curb.
"Was I perhaps unclear? 'Go' means proceed directly to my next destination," Miranda told her driver, Roy.
Before he could respond, Miranda heard someone tapping at her window. Despite herself, she put the window down, curious as to what Andrea Sachs could want from the Dragon Lady herself.
In a belated effort to save face, Miranda said acidly, "Are we now stopping for all reporters, Roy or only those who walk away from Runway?"
"Um, hi, Miranda," Andy said with that awkward little half-smile on her face.
"Andrea," the only greeting from the older woman.
"I just, um, I really wanted to talk to you but I couldn't just walk back into Elias-Clarke."
"And stalking my vehicle seemed a better option? Very paparazzi of you. I expected better," Miranda got another dig in. She realized she was trying to hurt the younger woman, trying to give a little back.
"I am not stalking you, I just wanted to talk," Andrea demanded.
Miranda realized she was about to become fodder for actual paparazzi with this little sidewalk scene and – almost with thinking – pushed the car door open and slid over on the seat. "Talk," she commanded.
Andy climbed in and shut the door, immediately putting up the window. Without hesitation, Roy merged back into traffic.
"So, you're leaving early today," Andrea attempted small talk.
"Oh, inane conversation, wonderful. Andrea, please say what you wish to say," Miranda asked. However much it will hurt all over again.
When the other woman tensed her shoulders and looked out the opposite window, Andy let her gaze linger on Miranda's face. She's lost weight and she's a little pale. No one told me she was ill. Why is she so tense? What does she think I'm going to say?
"Miranda?" Andy said quietly.
"Hmm," was the response.
"Miranda, please look at me so I can properly apologize."
That did get Miranda's attention. She looked questioningly at her former assistant. Andrea reached up and slid the ever-present sunglasses off of Miranda's face.
"Miranda," Andy took a deep breath and looked into the blue eyes next to her, "Miranda, I am so, truly sorry for what happened in Paris. It was the worst decision I have ever made and even though I'm working for a newspaper now, I will always, always regret leaving you." After watching Miranda blink the sudden moisture from her eyes, Andy said one more thing, "I miss you."
For once in her adult life, Miranda was speechless.
"Well, that was dramatic, Andrea," Miranda needed to get some perspective and distance
I can't let her blow me off. I have to make her see. See how sorry I am and how much I miss her.
"Miranda, I'm not being dramatic. I've been trying to find a way to apologize to you since Paris," Andy explained.
"And watching me leave work every day helped you find it?"
"You saw me?" Andy squeaked.
"Nearly every day, Andrea. You're hard to miss," Miranda said dryly, looking out the window again. She was nearing her destination and, oddly, sad to arrive. What is this? She was my assistant, only my assistant, and she abandoned me.
"I deserved that. Miranda, I just wanted to offer my apology. I didn't expect you to accept it, you are Miranda Priestly, after all," Andy said quietly.
"For what?" Miranda asked as the car stopped.
Distracted and confused, Andrea didn't respond. Roy opened the door and the younger woman stepped out first, turning and putting her hand out for Miranda. The editor didn't even hesitate, she took the offered hand and stepped out next to Andrea. The brunette looked around as Miranda started walking away only following when the blue eyes pierced her own again.
"Um, where are we Miranda?"
"The girls have a short demonstration at the end of their riding lessons today. I promised them I would attend."
She's so good to her girls. Wait…she explained something…to me!
"Now, Andrea, you know how much I loathe repeating myself so I shall do so only once. For what?"
"And just like the first time, I don't understand," Andy said quietly. She looked at Miranda and met those intense eyes once more. "I missed your eyes," Andy whispered, shocking them both.
No knowing how to respond to that, Miranda remained silent, but continued to sneak glances at Andrea.
Well, that IS interesting. She misses my eyes? Does she realize I miss hers? And her smile?
Hearing the other woman sigh, Miranda could not for some reason allow Andrea to languish any longer. She stopped walking and turned to face the journalist, "I missed your eyes, too, Andrea."
Nearly laughing at the shocked, happy expression on the other woman's face, Miranda started walking again.
"Wait, please, Miranda, I just want-"
"Andrea, I cannot wait any longer. I promised Cassidy and Caroline I would watch them. Come along," Miranda kept walking through the park.
Though it was a bright day and Miranda was likely to end up with a headache from the sun she wouldn't ask for her glasses back. She herself wasn't sure if it was pride or if she just liked knowing Andrea had something of hers. When did I get so sentimental? Likely the first time Andrea anticipated my needs. She always seemed to know what I wanted before I did. Until Paris.
As they crested the small hill, Andy saw the equestrian center they were headed to. Caroline, who sensed things just like her mother did, turned immediately and saw them. Smiling, she motioned to her twin and they both waved. Looking around, Miranda realized she had arrived just in time for it to begin and would never find a suitable place to watch near the fence.
"There's a bench here, Miranda. We could see the whole field from the top of the hill," Andy said, unsure of herself.
Smirking at Andrea's ability to anticipate her needs, Miranda nodded and sat in the center of the bench. She raised her eyebrows and looked pointedly at the spot next to her. Andy smiled and took the seat.
She knew she should be talking but, instead, Andy just took the time to observe the woman she had missed so much. No one would believe just how badly she had missed her former employer. Her friends and family all though of Miranda as the dragon lady, the ice queen, but Andy didn't. Oh, she had at some point. But as she worked for Miranda and saw deeper and deeper into her life, that thought had passed. Then, The Night happened.
That was how Andy thought of it. The Night Miranda had cried – not for herself, for her daughters. The Night Andy found herself crying for Miranda. The Night Andy realized she had fallen…hard.
Andy had taken that realization and run away – right into the arms of Christian.
When it came down to it, though, Andrea couldn't go through with anything with him. He was everything she didn't want. Everything she hated about the world of fashion. She couldn't sleep with one man when she was supposed to be in love with another man but knew she was actually in love with someone else entirely.
Andrea was immediately petrified of her feelings and used Miranda's behavior as an excuse to run away. She didn't think the other woman would miss her for a moment. After all, plenty of people would kill to work for Miranda Priestly. So, Andrea had left. She knew she had a weakness for Miranda, an innate desire to help and care for the other woman so she tossed her phone into a fountain in Paris.
She thought distance would help get rid of the feelings for Miranda. But when she got back to New York, Nate left for Boston, Lily and Doug didn't like her anymore and The Mirror wanted her to write a celebrity gossip column. All disappointments. All her fault.
They say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and that proved to be true. They also say 'out of sight, out of mind' and that also proved true. Unexpectedly, she grew fonder of Miranda and forgot about Nate.
"Do stop that infernal sighing, Andrea and answer my earlier question. For what are you apologizing?" Miranda turned toward Andrea.
"Oh, Miranda, for so many thing," Andy's eyes welled up with tears, "I'm sorry for leaving you alone that night. I wanted to stay so I left. I'm sorry for not understanding what you were doing the next day with the mess with Irv, Nigel and that bitch, Jacqueline. I should have trusted you more to do the right thing. I'm most sorry for walking away that day. I wanted so badly to pull you back into the car and talk to you so I deserted you. I just kept abandoning you over and over and I've been hating myself for it ever since," Andrea was crying.
Miranda was struck dumb yet again. Andrea felt that much? For her? She couldn't wrap her head around it. Almost without thinking, Miranda slowly reached out and brushed the tears off of Andrea's cheeks. "Don't cry, Andrea. I assure you, I'm not worth your tears."
Andrea rested her cheek on Miranda's palm and spoke, "Miranda Priestly, you are worth so much more than that."
As if suddenly realizing where they were, Miranda pulled her hand back, then looked down at her damp fingertips as if she wasn't sure if they were hers.
"Why, Andrea? Why are you doing this? I'm the Dragon Lady, remember? I chase off husbands and eat assistants for lunch. I'm demanding and have a tendency for cruelty. What are you thinking?"
"You're not the Dragon Lady – I hate that. You're a strong, brilliant, beautiful woman who has to fight to do her job. You're demanding because that's what it takes to stay on top in the world of fashion. You don't chase husbands off, either, Miranda. Stephen was a jerk who just wanted to control you. He didn't know how lucky he was to have you and he absolutely didn't deserve you or your girls. You're all better off without that fool." Andrea's cheeks turned an alluring shade of pink when she got angry, I'm here because I miss you. I miss making you smile that secret little half-smile when I meet your expectations. I miss the look of surprise in your eyes when I exceed them. I miss the way you drink your coffee when it's hot enough and the way you wrinkle your nose when it's not. I miss the way you say my name. I wish I had never disappointed you," Andrea finished with a whisper.
"I…Andy…I wish I had never disappointed you, either."
A/N: I think there's more to this story than I have here…Probably another chapter coming within the next week…maybe…