My name is Naruto Uzumaki and my life sucks. Can you guess why? Because my parents died when I was 5 and now I live with my step-father and my adoptive father. Their names are Kakashi and Iruka.
I'm now 16 and have 9 friends. Their names are Kiba, Shino, Ino, Lee, Sai, Sakura, Shikamaru, Choji, and Neji. Sakura looks like a pink blog. Neji dosen't have pupils in his eyes. Shikamaru is the laziest person in the world, he is also the oldest in he group. Shino has a Kiba complex. Kiba has a dog complex. Choji eats too much. Ino has the biggest mouth ever. Sai is in love with me. Lee wants to rape Gai the school gym teacher. Then you have Garra, he isn't really in the group he just follows me around a lot. He looks like a panda, he's kinda like my little brother.
I'm emo and have a drinking complex. Most of my drinking is done with Garra and Kiba. Once we got hammered and Garra screamed he loved me but we were playing strip poker so I didn't take it seriouly.
Well anyway I'm writing this because the school got a new student today and he's stalking me. His under my window as I'm writing. He's emo too and is 18. I go to a private school where the classes are divided by letter grades. That's how I know him. We have the same classes. Shikamaru is the same age as him but he's smarter than he looks. Well anyway since I'm Kakashi's little angel I was chosen to show the dick around the school for the first hour. He tried to grab my hands 20 times before I put them in my pockets. When I got home I got a package from the guy. His name is Sasuke and what's in the box might scar me forever. So I'm gonna open it now. If I pass out then destroy the content of the box. Okay now let's open the box. Okay there's a card.
Dear lover,
I want you to wear this for me every night,
till you fall in love with me. It should be
the perfect size for your amazing perfect ass.
I might just cum thinking about it on you,
and your wonderful body.
Love
Your new lover,
Sasuke Uchiha
SAVE ME! This guy is a freak I'd rather go out with Sai and he tried to rape me 17 times when we were 7!
"Dad come here a minute!"
"Yes prince Naru-naru?" Kakashi is an ass.
"Don't call me that and I want to switch classes. Read the letter and you'll know why."
He read it and almost screamed his head off.
"Naruto do you know where this asshole is?"
"Yeah he's been under my window for about an hour."
"Well tell Iruka that I'm going to jail for murder."
"Don't murder him. He can't get close to me at school and you drive me home then I don't go anywhere. Just tell him I have a boyfriend so he dosen't chase me."
He kissed my forehead and then went to have the talk with my stalker. It's not like I care if he does rape me, I wouldn't feel it. When I was 8 my grandpa's lover Orochimaru raped me. Since then I've been dead. No one even bothered to notice when I walk out of my room covered in bruises and limping. I feel no pain and Orochimaru has been like my stress reliever. I don't like that they don't notice when I limp home or when I have bruises because they say I'm their little prince.
I don't care if Sasuke raped me, I might even welcome it. It's repulsive getting fucked by an old man all the time.
I gtg the dick snake is over for dinner.
END ENTRY 1
DINNER
"I have an announcement." Orochimaru yelled, "Little Naru is cutting himself."
My dads spit out their food and I throw a knife at the bastard trying to hit his face. I missed. Kakashi ran over to me to check my wrists. The word 'DEAD' scribed into my skin with various cuts on it. Kakashi was convinced there were more so he stripped me down to my boxers. Sasuke was still out side so he was happy. I had cut this stuff 5 years ago when I was depressed. Iruka started to cry when he saw all the cuts on me.
"Orochimaru rapes little boys when Jariyai's gone." I said.
They stopped looking me over and Orochimaru's face was priceless. I told them I had walked in on it once and Kakashi almost killed him. Grandpa walked in with a box of pictures of what Orochimaru had done. Iruka took the box and the first thing he saw was a pic of me riding him like a wild animal. He's fucked. He almost got killed after that. The rest of the night Iruka was on the computer looking for a lawyer and Kakashi made me tell him everything about it.
20 MINUTES LATER:
We were in my room and Kakashi asked what Sasuke asked me to wear. I went over to the box and looked inside. I pulled out a pair of blue panties with a fan on the back. It was the same one on his jacket at school today. Underneath the fan was the words 'POPURTY OF SASUKE UCHIHA.'. The other thing in the box was a plushie of himself. Wierdo. Kakashi left and I heard a rock hit my window.
"NARUTO!"
Oh shit I forgot about him.
"NARUTO I LOVE YOU PLEASE MARRY ME!"
The next thing I saw was Sasuke on the ground with Sai trying to kill him.
"SHUT UP HE'S MINE!" I heard Sai say. (lol :3 Sai say get it lol)
Sai looked pissed. Like a girl who just found out her boyfriend cheated and was now trying to kill the girl. Lmao this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Wonder who will win. Probablly Sai. His family owns a dojo. But I'd rather be raped by Sasuke cuz he might be gentle not that i really care. I'd rather not bleed from my ass again. (it burns) Oh shit their screwed, Kakashi just came out.
"Sasuke you may come inside. Sai your grandfather did something to Naruto and I would like it if you left him alone."
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO! I hate you so much dad.
"Naruto may I come in."
"Fine."
"Naruto will you go out with me?"
"Why?"
"Cause your beautiful and nice and funny and I want to get to know you better."
"I'll think about it. But I'm not wearing the panties you gave me ever!"
"Aww did I get the wrong color?"
"No I just won't wear them"
"Aww can we listen to some music, maybe?"
I turned on the stereo and Arms by Christina Perri came on.
i never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
but you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
you put your arms around me
and i believe that it's easier for you to let me go
you put your arms me and i'm home
how many times will let you me change my mind and turn around?
i can't decide if i'll let you save my life or if i'll drown
i hope that you see right through my walls
i hope that you catch me cause i'm already falling
i'll never let a love get so close
you put your arms around me and i'm home
the world is coming down on me and i can't find a reason to be loved
i never wanna leave you but i can't make you bleed if i'm alone
you put your arms around me
and i believe that it's easier for you to let me go
i hope that you see right through my walls
i hope that you catch me cause i'm already falling
i'll never let a love get so close
you put your arms around me and i'm home
i try my best to never let you in to see the truth
and i've never opened up
i've never truly loved til...
you put your arms around me
and i believe that it's easier for you to let me go
i hope that you see right through my walls
i hope that you catch me, cause i'm already falling
i'll never let a love get so close
you put your arms around me and i'm home
you put your arms around me and i'm home.
"I love this song, it reminds me of how much I love you."
The song finished and Kakashi came in. He had blood all over his shirt and pants and I screamed.
"IRUKA KAKASHI KILLED SAI."
He was there within seconds screaming at Kakashi. Second funniest thing I've seen today. Sasuke came over to me and sat on my bed and hugged me. It felt weird.
"Umm... Sasuke what are you doing?"
"I'm hugging my beautiful boyfriend."
"Could you let go it's kinda uncomfortable."
God the boy looks like a sad puppy now.
Authors note:
Don't review if you didn't like it. I wrote this for fun not to be bashed by random people. I don't care if you didn't like it and I'm not going to change it because of that.