I just can't help myself
Nikki lay in her bed, smiling to herself as she felt Tom's warm breath sneak up on her neck. She moaned softly as he gave her little butterfly kisses. Turning around to see his beautiful smile was the best part of her mornings. She loved it. He made everything worthwhile. "Morning gorgeous." He whispered, gently but passionately kissing her on the lips. She giggled, grinning uncontrollably into the kiss. "Morning Clarkson." That never got easy to say, no matter how many times she said it, it felt unreal, it almost felt wrong. Her eye caught sight of the time, her body quickly flinging out of bed. "Shit, Tom, I'm going to be late." Nikki rushed out of the room, grabbing a small blanket to cover herself up on the way.
Tom smiled to himself. Just the thought of Nikki made him happy, yet alone having her in his arms, in his bed. She made him smile. No matter how bad he felt during the day, he kept smiling, just knowing that when he got home he got to sit with her for hours. He loved how he could talk to Nikki non-stop about anything, all his personal problems and she would sit there and listen, help him get through it all. She didn't abandon him when he needed help the most. He loved how much he could trust her. He loved how perfect she looked every hour of every day. He loved how she got annoyed over the littlest of things. He loved her.
Nikki stood in the kitchen with a half a cup of coffee in her hands, which was very much needed to keep her awake. "Where are you going? We haven't got to be in for hours yet." Tom spoke softly, his arms wrapped gently around her waist. "I, erm… I've got a stupid meeting with Lorraine and Michael about the PRU." She sighed, turning around, Tom's face only inches away from her own. He smiled before giving her a meaningful kiss on the lips. "I was thinking…" He started, his palms becoming sweaty. "You could move in soon, if you want to?" He gulped. Nikki froze, her mouth half open, her head in a frown and the words refusing to come out. "I… erm." She choked before placing the mug back on the counter and escaping Tom's caring arms. "I've got to go." She said quickly, grabbing her things and leaving in a hurry.
Tom stood in his kitchen baffled by what had just happened. Did she just run away from him? Did she reject him and go? He felt like a right idiot, stupid to have even thought of the idea. He just assumed she would want to move in, considering they have been a thing for a while now. Although, she had been acting a little weird lately, she hardly went to his anymore, and when he mentioned about going on a weekend holiday together, she went all weird and said she felt sick, basically ran back home. Maybe she didn't like him anymore. Maybe she found someone else… He just dismissed the idea, taking himself back upstairs to get ready for work.
The school was reasonably quiet, not many students bothered turning up to school earlier than expected. However, the odd person would come in, get some revision done, do extra work, sit a before school detention, or whatever the reason maybe. She forced a fake smile at the pupils she passed on her way to the PRU, eager to put down the heavy books she cradled in her left arm. Opening the first door, she sighed, before unlocking the second and immediately dumping the books on her desk. She slumped into her seat, the image of Tom's face painted in her head. She couldn't say yes, she just couldn't. She wasn't ready for this. No matter how much she wanted to be ready, her mind just wouldn't allow her to be. And as much as she wanted to love Tom, her heart wanted someone else.
Just as she held her head in her hands, Nikki heard a gentle knock at the door. Daringly, she looked up, surprised to see Tom stood there with a small smile on his face. She gulped before slowly walking over and unlocking the door. "Tom." She almost whispered, leaning against the door frame. "I wanted to apologise for being so forward with you this morning…" He apologised, the look of hurt written across his face. Nikki smiled, nodding her head. "…I was just surprised when you ran out on me." The little happiness in his voice dying down. She closed her eyes tightly, blocking out tears she could feel growing in the corner of her eyes. "I just couldn't agree with it, Tom." She finally announced. "Why?" He asked, a hint of pain in his voice.
Maybe it was time she was honest with him, time she told him how she really feels. She likes him, of course she does, she has ever since she started at Waterloo Road, and they always had a bit of a thing going on. But lately, she felt like they had grown too close, that things had gotten too serious and she felt like her heart wasn't ready to commit to him. "We're not official, Tom. We haven't told anybody about us. I can't just suddenly move in! It feels so wrong." She complained, moving back behind her desk, leaning her hands on it to support herself as she felt herself become lightheaded. "I just think that it's all happened too fast. Maybe I need some time alone." Nikki's heart stopped as she saw Tom's eyes grow bigger with shock. "So is that it?" He frowned some more. "Because that seems a little bit abrupt. I mean… we spent 2 weeks together, and I thought we had something. For weeks we were checking each other out on the pitch, giving each other looks in the staff room. And what about that one night at the pub, when we…" He let a small tear slip down his bright red cheek as he looked up, avoiding her piercing blue eyes. "Did that mean nothing to you Nikki? Do I mean nothing to you?"
Nikki shook her head vigorously, her pulse speeding up. "It's not like that Tom. Of course you mean something to me…" She choked on her words, tears falling rapidly from her eyes. She looked down at the desk, avoiding his sudden glare. Tom stared blankly at the mess that stood before him. "Is there someone else?" He asked coldly. Her head shot up, her tears turning to frowns. "What?! No, Tom…" Her voice trailed off. "Yeah… okay." He nodded his head in a sarcastic agreement before turning around and storming out the PRU, leaving Nikki to sob into her work.