Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Avenue Q. The creators are Tensai's too worthy!
the song is "If you were Gay" from Avenue Q.
If You Were Gay
SASUKE
"Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "History of The Uchiha Clan."
No teammates to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?"
NARUTO
"Oh,hi Sasuke-teme!"
SASUKE
"Go away Naruto."
NARUTO
"Hey Sasuke-teme you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me walking in the village this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me"
SASUKE
"That's very interesting."
NARUTO
"He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!"
SASUKE
"Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?"
NARUTO
"Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Sasuke…"
SASUKE
"I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read."
NARUTO
"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Sasuke.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."
SASUKE
"I don't want to talk about it,
Naruto! This conversation is over!!!"
NARUTO
"Yeah, but…"
SASUKE
"OVER!!!"
NARUTO
"Well, okay, but just so you know —
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)"
SASUKE
"Naruto!
I am trying to read...
What?!"
NARUTO
"IF YOU WERE QUEER"
SASUKE
"Naruto!"
NARUTO
"I'D STILL BE HERE,"
SASUKE
"Naruto, I'm trying to read"
NARUTO
YEAR AFTER YEAR
SASUKE
"Naruto!"
NARUTO
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,
SASUKE
Argh!
NARUTO
AND I KNOW THAT YOU
SASUKE
"What?"
NARUTO
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
SASUKE
"I would?"
NARUTO
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.
SO WHAT DOSE IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?
SASUKE
Naruto, that is WRONG!
NARUTO
"No it's not!"
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!
SASUKE
"I am not listening!"
NARUTO
AND HERE I'D STAY,
SASUKE
La la la la la!
NARUTO
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.
SASUKE
Aaaah!
NARUTO
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!
SASUKE
"I AM NOT GAY!"
NARUTO
"If you were gay."
SASUKE
Argh!