Saarebas. It literally meant "dangerous thing" in Qunlat. It was the Qunari word for what most other cultures called a mage. Mages, who were those that wielded magic, were treated like prisoners everywhere. They were locked in towers, separated from society, and taught the ways of magic in seclusion. This was not true of the Qunari. The Qunari held no trust for magic or those who could wield it. So when mages were discovered within their ranks, they were bound and chained, their horns were cut off, their mouths were sewn shut, and all of their control was taken away from them. They were turned into living weapons, and were treated as such, being kept alive without truly living. These were the demands of the Qun, the religion and law of the Qunari.
The girl had been dreaming of her ill-fated brethren that night. The mages were controlled by their Arvaarads. The Arvaarads, "those who hold back evil", are the Qunari that bind and control the Saarebas. They made them shoot magic on command with every wave of their control rods. A terrible life for the Saarebas but they accepted their lot because it was ordained by the Qun. Defying the Qun meant fighting against their very nature, something no true Qunari would ever do. But the girl didn't understand why they would allow themselves to suffer so. Why was it against their nature to fight for the right to have a life? Why was magic so feared in their society and yet it was okay to be used for military purposes by the same people that opposed it? The multitude of questions overtook her dream to the point where she could feel the anxiety growing within her. She watched the bursts of magic from the Saarebas around her grow in frequency. As they produced more magic, she felt something unfamiliar to her, something building up within her, desperate for escape. Her hands balled into fists as the energy inside her boiled to the surface. When she smelled smoke, she woke with a jolt. Her blanket began to char from the electrical energy emanating from her hands.
She hadn't known she could scream in the way that she did just then. It sounded unnatural, like it shouldn't have been possible for her to make such a noise. But she did make such a sound, which was soon followed by the sound of pounding feet on the floor of the hall. She quickly realized they were the footsteps of her caretaker. The Tamassran! she thought, I woke her up! The lightshow within her hands ceased and she quickly crumpled the blanket up to hide the blackened edges before the Tamassran opened her door.
"Are you alright?" her caretaker asked. She didn't notice the way the girl held her blanket.
"I'm fine Tama," the girl replied, "it was just a bad dream, that's all."
The Tamassran smiled, silently wishing the girl goodnight, and turned to leave her alone once more.
Once the door was closed, the girl began to panic. She was only two years away from being assigned her role in society, from receiving her title, but now she knew her title would be Saarebas She knew what a horrible fate lay before her as a Qunari mage. A true Qunari would have immediately turned herself in and accepted her role in nature as less than a person and more like a thing, but not this girl. The only thing that she thought was, I don't want that to happen to me. Thus her journey to save her life began out of necessity.
She thought, How do I save myself from the fate of a Saarebas? One way would be to hide her magical abilities for the rest of her life. That seemed impractical though, as she had no idea how to control the power within her and would likely be discovered very quickly. She had to find a way to change her destiny. Until now, there had never been a way to escape the fate of a Qunari mage—it was the law dictated by the Qun. The only option she could think to do was to run. Run far away from her homeland and hope that they never came after her. But how does one escape from a people who are so meticulous and precise with the members of their order? She had no answer.
For days the girl was as careful as possible to prevent her magic from being discovered. She felt that there were a few close calls, but no one seemed to suspect anything. She continued to plan her escape. The Qunari took careful inventory of every resource they had so taking anything would certainly trigger an alert that something was wrong. So in an effort to conceal her plan to leave, she saved part of her food until she had enough to last her a day. I heard that the Rivaini ship that's been docked for trade is going to leave port tomorrow. This'll probably be my best chance for escape. I'll take all the supplies I've gathered and sneak aboard the ship tonight. Rivain was farther east than her homeland of Seheron and would be just far enough away to make her feel secure in her freedom. The Rivani were a nation of dark skinned humans that had good relations with the Quanari. There were plenty of Qunari people stationed in Rivain, so they wouldn't question the addition of one more. The girl wasn't sure where she would go from there, but there would be plenty of time to figure that out on the voyage out of her homeland.
Everything went as planned. When her Tamassran was asleep, she gathered her things together and left through the window. There weren't too many guards on watch at night, so she only had to worry about navigating the dark path to the port and whatever might've been creeping around the woods. She could hear the unusual sounds made by the nocturnal animals that hid among the vegetation but they were looking for food and not interested in her. It took about an hour before she reached the end of the path. From there she could see the massive ship before her. She was taken aback by its shear magnificence. The enormous canvas sails were still tied up for port, although looking at the masts made her wonder why they would rely on such a fickle source of propulsion such as the wind. What she didn't know was that below deck on the bottom of the ship there were groups of Rivini that would help propel the ship to its destination by synchronized rowing. Rowing was something she would soon become familiar with herself. Not a task for the weak, she would soon have to muster all of her strength and become like one of these men if she were going to be successful in securing her freedom. That challenge was yet to come.
Now, how do I board the vessel…? She pondered all of the possibilities she thought plausible. The gangplank was out of the question, it was too out in the open. Smuggling herself inside a box made sense; they were delivering cargo after all. But how would I get out of the box? she reasoned. And what if someone sees me? She was right. There were Rivani shipmen everywhere loading the ship throughout the night getting it ready to set sail in the morning. There has to be another way. As she examined the ship, she noticed that one of the ropes used to lower the lifeboats was hanging outside the railings. That was her chance. I should be strong enough to pull myself up there, she thought, I just hope that no one catches me. And that was what she would do. As she made her way to the rope, keeping her food dry as she swam around the ship was a chore. She was never used to swimming without her head submerged in the water. But she managed to get to the rope without dampening the cloth container too much. Once she grabbed the rope, her heart beating out of her chest from the swim and cold water, she pulled herself up. As she climbed up, with each grasp of the rope, she noticed a burning smell. Her fingers were emanating inadvertent electrical charges searing the rope as she climbed. How do I make it stop!? This is my only way onto the ship! Ugh! How could this be happening to me? Why me!? There was nothing she could do. She noticed her clothes were being scorched from the sparks so she knew she'd better quicken her pace in her climb. Although there were plenty of people on the ship, no one seemed to notice her. Perhaps they were all simply tired of being on this trip and just wanted to get back home to Rivian.
Cold, wet, and out of breath, she managed to get to the top edge of the ship and open the hatch to the cargo hold. She slipped herself inside without drawing attention.All seemed to be going well as she holed herself up in the far corner of the cargo hold with the rest of the freight to steal a ride to a foreign land. She had to wait for several hours for the crew to prepare for their departure, so she kept herself busy by making pictures out of the patterns in the wood of the crates and hull. She could see hills in the knots where the grain nearly enveloped them, animals where the grain was faint and looked as if it were smudged, and rivers that twisted and turned as they ran through the wood, the other images floating along on them.
She knew it was morning when she heard gulls overhead and the gentle shuffling of the crew above. They would be leaving soon, taking her with them. Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching. They were louder than the steps of the crew, as if made by someone larger than a Rivaini. And it was someone larger: a Qunari athlok, a lowly laborer, sent to inspect the cargo. His dark and towering form cast frightening shadows against the walls of the hold, warning her of his proximity. If he saw her she would be questioned, interrogated, likely sent to be what was called reeducated. This was the Qunari form of brainwashing. Worse than that, she would be discovered as a Saarebas and suffer the fate that she feared most. So she brought her legs to her body and held them tightly, trying to make herself as small as she possibly could so the athlok might miss her. Only one thought echoed throughout her head: Please don't see me. Please don't see me. Please don't see me…
The worker looked around the hold, checking to see that everything was where it should be and that nothing was there that shouldn't have been. Please don't see me. He was scrupulous in his examination of the hold, slowly making his way from the front to her location. Please don't see me. As his shadow shrunk in size she knew that he drew nearer and her safety was jeopardized. Please don't see me. When his hulking figure came into view the girl became frozen with fear. Please don't see me! As his eyes scanned the boxes surrounding her they passed over her form, seeming not to notice her…until his head snapped back to look straight at her. Please don't see me! Her heart pounded violently against her chest and she held her breath as he leaned closer to her so that she felt his warm breath on her face, trying to get a better look. PLEASE DON'T SEE ME! And after a full minute of examining the area, after the girl had felt for certain that she was discovered… he backed away. There was no suspicion on his face, no lingering doubt, he genuinely hadn't seen her. He resumed his inspection of the remaining areas of the hold, finished quickly, and headed back to the opening hatch.
When the athlok was finally gone the girl gave a huge sigh of relief. How was it even possible that he hadn't seen her? He had looked directly at her! Wait… she started to think, why can't I see my legs? She was still holding onto them, they hadn't moved at all, so she should've been able to see them. Calm down, calm down, it's probably a trick of the lighting. It was when she started to relax and saw her legs rematerializing that she understood why she hadn't been caught: she'd inadvertently made herself invisible. The girl was mildly dumbfounded by what had happened and she cursed the magic responsible for forcing her into this predicament. But she found that she was also incredibly grateful, astonished at what her power was able to do. If only she knew how to control it, she might enjoy having magical ability.
The girl woke to the sounds of fighting: swords clashing, shields bashing, and blades slashing all came from the decks above her. What is going on out there? she wondered. It sounded so chaotic that she chanced a peak to see what was truly going on. When she lifted the hatch ever so slightly, she learned that pirates had attacked the ship. Led by a rather scantily clad Rivaini woman the pirates ravaged the ship, intending to claim it and its goods as their own. From the things she'd read about such people, the girl doubted that they would be merciful enough to grant her the freedom she so desired. Now she needed a new plan, before the crew was utterly slaughtered with her along with them.
The lifeboats! Just as she got on the ship with the rope from the lifeboat, she would get off the ship and use that very same boat to escape. Scanning the scene before her, through the spilt blood, the lifeless bodies, the cries of pain, and clinking swords as the battle continued, she managed to spot the one boat she had climbed up on which was not too far from the hatch. If she moved quickly enough, she reasoned, she could reach it and lower it down enough that she wouldn't be noticed with all the commotion on board. She had to move quickly and stealthily if she hoped for any chance of survival. If she were to be spotted by anyone, she would likely be cut down with the rest of the crew. She struggled to get the boat free from the pulleys that held it, but that one loose rope helped her when trying to free the vessel. She managed to release the small craft and slipped away into the deep sea without notice. Once the boat hit the water, she picked up the oars and pushed the water with them, trying to get as much distance between her, the trade ship, and the pirates as soon as possible. She looked back once upon the ship she'd fled. She almost thought that she saw the Rivaini woman looking at her, laughing and giving her a salute. The girl had no idea what that meant, so she feverishly rowed in the hope of reaching some shore. She rowed and rowed and rowed even when she had no strength to do so. She only stopped when the boat met resistance and the oars flicked up sand. Once she knew that she was firmly on dry land, the poor girl collapsed from exhaustion.
The girl woke up cold and wet. She remembered reaching land before she passed out, so she didn't see why she would be wet. Opening her eyes, she felt a large drop of water land directly on her eyeball, letting her know that it was raining. She cleared her vision and surveyed the area to make sure she hadn't landed back home. From the dense foliage that continued past the edge of the shore, it seemed that she was at the edge of a forest. But which forest? she wondered. Where am I exactly? She couldn't have made it to Rivain, not with the way the currents flowed and the direction she'd started rowing. Her thoughts flooded with questions. How long was I asleep? What time is it now? I can't see where the sun is! The clouds that showered her with rainwater blocked out the sun entirely. Not a single ray of sunshine made it through the layer of grey. When she calmed down somewhat, she realized that it didn't matter what time it was. What mattered was continuing her escape. She needed to find somewhere safe.
As she lifted herself over the edge of the boat, she carefully let her feet touch the ground so that she wouldn't cut herself on the rocks. The lifeboat had served its purpose, she didn't need it anymore. So she decided to push it back out to sea, if only to keep others from knowing where she landed. Once the boat was far in the distance, the girl started to run. She maneuvered through the branches and over the stones that littered the path before her. One misstep caused her foot to catch on a rock slick with rainwater and brought her tumbling to the ground. Ow! She was able to ignore the pain, but she needed to rest, preferably somewhere dry. I think I saw some sort of shallow cave nearby, she thought. I can rest there.
As she sat under the overhang and allowed herself to relax, she realized she was horribly ill-equipped to survive in her situation. She didn't know where she was, she had no tools of any sort, she was cold and wet, and the monstrous growling that was coming from her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten anything in hours. She opened her supply bag and checked on the integrity of her food. It was soggy, but she didn't have much of a choice. As she ate little by little she thought more on what she would do once her stash ran out. Elfroot grows just about anywhere, she reasoned, but I don't know if I'd consider that food. She ate her food in silence and decided to try and look for more once the rain stopped.
When the weather cleared the girl left the safety of her temporary shelter to look for anything she could eat. All Qunari were given survival training early in life, so she knew what kinds of plants to look for and which ones to avoid. She came across the usual flora common to most parts of Thedas and collected all of the plants she knew weren't poisonous. As she continued to look for more food, she heard a strange noise in the bushes. It's probably nothing, she told herself, maybe a nug or something. The rustle became louder as the mysterious creature came closer. She began to feel anxious at the possibility of what it could be. Suddenly, the creature jumped out. The creature was a species of canine known as a Mabari, that is, if the images from the books she'd read could be trusted. Its nose was to the ground, sniffing one way or another, as if searching for something. Suddenly the dog's head made a sharp turn, its eyes looking directly at the frightened girl. It approached her swiftly, giving her a quick onceover with its nose, before letting out a bark and sitting on the ground. When it panted it looked like it was smiling at her.
The girl was perplexed. The dog seemed like it was waiting for something. It tilted its head in confusion. What does it want me to do? she thought to herself. Cautiously, she reached her hand out to the creature. When her fingers were within its reach, the dog's tongue darted out to lick them. This startled the girl and she snapped her hand back. The creature's ears flattened against its head, a sad look on its face. Aw, I think its apologizing, she thought as she attempted to reach for the dog again. The Mabari gave her fingers another lick, though she was less shaken by the action, and it pushed its head against her palm. Guided by the actions of the dog, the girl started to move her hand against its head, petting it gently. For some reason she felt joy with the interactions of the creature before her and smiled as she continued to pet the dog. This seemed to please the creature as it jumped forward and licked at her face. The girl laughed as she tried halfheartedly to push it back, Stop, it tickles! Then she heard rustling again, perhaps some voices, and the dog pulled back in the direction of the sounds. A group of humans appeared through the trees and the dog greeted its apparent master.
I don't think I've ever seen humans quite so pale before. She considered herself a somewhat sheltered individual, even by Qunari standards, so the only humans she'd caught a glimpse of had the darkened skin akin to the Rivaini. These humans looked like most of the elves that converted to the Qun, but taller and without pointed ears. There were about five of them there, three men and two women. The dog's master was one of the men, a man who looked like the most experienced of the group. He traveled with a rather muscular and brutish-looking fellow who carried their arms for them. The other man was much scrawnier than the other two, perhaps not having enough strength to walk as he was perched on a mount. One of the women wore purple and looked rather bored. The other woman wore green, her face showing a look of longing, perhaps for someplace else. They hadn't seemed to notice her immediately, allowing her to back away and hide herself in the shadows the woods naturally created.
"There you are," the dog's master said sternly. "You were supposed to be tracking a boar. Where's the boar Cerberus?"
The dog flattened its ears once more as it lowered itself to the ground. He'd apparently forgotten his task when he'd found the girl. He let out a whimpering noise, letting his master know how sorry he was.
"Romulus, don't be so hard on him," the woman in purple spoke to the man. "He's just a dog. You can't blame him for losing the boar."
"Especially since it was your fault for it running off in the first place!" the man on the horse said.
"You were the one who told me I had a clear shot!" the dog's master barked at the man in reply.
"It was a clear shot."
They continued to argue in front of their peers while failing to notice the girl before them. The humans spoke the common tongue, with bits of Tevene mixed in, for the most part. The girl was familiar with the languages; she had been bred and raised to be a Tamassran. The Tamassran raise the children, educate, and preach the Qun. As such, she had become well versed in the many languages one needed to know in order to convert the populace to the Qun. This would have been her role in the Qunari society had she not been a mage.
If they speak Tevene, then I must be in Tevinter, she thought. A feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach. Tevinter and the Qunari have been at war ever since the Qunari first invaded Thedas centuries ago. The war was mostly one-sided on Tevinter's part, and they held great animosity towards her kind. She worried what would happen if they saw her and only saw her race.
The woman in green noticed her first. She looked surprised, but she didn't immediately give away the girl's presence, for which she was grateful. Instead the woman gave her a gentle smile and seemed to wait for her companions to finish arguing before informing them of her observation. Or perhaps she was waiting for a moment in the argument where it would be appropriate to interrupt. In either case the men continued bickering for quite some time.
After several minutes of enduring the shouting match between the two men, the remaining man in the group seemed to grow tired of it. The girl could see the man's veins pop out against his well-defined muscles as he shouted "Enough! If you keep going on like this we'll run out of daylight and it will be both of your faults that we leave here with nothing!"
The men ceased arguing at the outburst. They still looked at one another with malice in their eyes, but they no longer acted upon it. The woman in green took the opportunity to speak, "Ahem, if you're done fighting amongst yourselves, I do believe Cerberus has made a new friend."
The dog barked happily and ran back to the girl to lick her face once more. She laughed at this and resumed petting Cerberus. The other members of the woman's party turned their gazes to the girl, their postures turning somewhat aggressive.
"A Qunari!"
"What is she doing here?"
"She must be a spy!"
"Cerberus, get away from her!" The dog whined and reluctantly obeyed his master.
"Maker's Breath, what is wrong with you people!?" the woman in green shouted. "She's only a child!"
"That's why we shouldn't trust her!"
"Who better to send to spy on your enemies than the ones they would least expect?"
"Why wouldn't they train their children to be spies and assassins?"
"Because they are children." The woman sighed. "I suppose it's a good thing I agreed to come, otherwise no one would stand up for this poor girl."
The woman dismounted her horse and went up to the girl. She had never seen anyone so beautiful before. Qunari generally aren't born with red hair, so the woman's auburn locks felt somewhat exotic. She had most of it tied back with the remaining strands resting beneath down to just past her shoulders. It framed her face nicely, her features well defined but not too sharp. And her eyes were the loveliest teal color…
"Hello," the young woman said as she knelt down to the girl's level. "Do you understand me?" The girl nodded and the woman smiled. "My name is Helene. What's your name?"
The girl was so captivated by the woman that she did not even think as she responded, "Saareba-" She clapped her hand over her mouth as her mind caught up to her body. She had just admitted that she was a Saarebas.
A melodious laugh came from Helene, finding the girl's actions amusing. "That's a very pretty name Saareba."
The girl was in a state of shock. She had just told the random strangers from a foreign land that she wielded magic. The people would hate her immediately, they would send her back to the Qunari to be collared and chained like a dog—no, the dog they had was unchained, so she'd likely have even less freedom than a dog—or they might even decide to kill her just because she was a Qunari. The girl broke down into sobs.
"Oh no, don't cry!" the woman calling herself Helene said. She rushed to the girl's side and put her arms around her. "There's no reason to cry. I'm sorry for laughing!"
The girl was unfamiliar with what the woman holding her was doing. It did feel very pleasant though, the woman's warmth radiating to her shivering form. As if instinctually she buried her head within the woman's bosom and wrapped her arms around her. Helene seemed not to mind; perhaps she was even encouraging it with the way she was holding her close, rubbing her back, and making sounds like the ones the Tamassrans used to calm infants.
"Helene, stop placating the savage and let's move on," the large built human said, his tone conveying his obvious irritation.
"This girl is no savage!" the woman snapped at the man, defending the girl in her arms. "She's lost and alone and needs help." She turned back to the girl. "I'd like very much to help you. We could bring you back to my estate and get you some clean clothes and something to eat. Would that be alright with you Saareba?"
The girl looked confused. "…Saareba?"
"Isn't that your name?" Helene asked. "That's what you said your name was."
…I did technically say that, didn't I? she thought. She had cut herself off before actually finishing the word; and she had spoken in response to the question of her name. Saarebas would be her name—no, her title—if she had stayed in her homeland with her Qunari brethren. But she didn't. She wasn't Qunari anymore, not really. Her name could be anything she chose. And a butchering of the word she truly was didn't seem like such a bad idea for that name.
"Yes," she replied. She gave the woman the brightest smile she could conjure. "My name is Saareba. It is very nice to meet you and I will gladly accept your offer of assistance. Thank you for your kindness, my good lady."
The woman before her smiled warmly at the newly named girl. "You are absolutely precious!" She took the girl's hands in her own and helped her to her feet. Turning to her party Helene spoke, "I hope you don't mind if I retire from our trip a bit earlier than planned."
"Of course not darling," the other woman spoke, "just promise you'll stay for the entirety of our next outing."
"Of course Jocelyn," she replied as she helped 'Saareba' onto her horse. As she mounted her steed once more she turned to the man who'd insulted the girl. She spoke with venom in her voice. "Savage indeed! Humph!"
Saareba smiled at the way this relative stranger stood up for her so. I guess not everyone from Tevinter hates the Qunari. She wrapped her arms around Helene's waist for support as the woman cracked the reins and rode her horse to what would become Saareba's home for years to come.
A/N: Hooray! It's finally done! Saareba's story has begun! Because I also wrote this as an assignment for my Creative Writing class, I had to add a lot of lore explanations that I don't feel like taking out. This story has multiple chapters that I have not fully written yet. This means that updates will likely be infrequent at best, but there will be updates. Whether or not they are of the same quality as this chapter is debatable. This is the backstory of my character Saareba, whom I donated to shadowsilv3r for his story Agents of the Inquisition. If you weren't redirected here from that story, go read it! Okay I think I'm done. Thanks for reading!