A/N: This is a D/H fic!! *Mwauhahahaha* Ok, this is a very old fic! It was for a METMA contest! The requirements are under the disclaimor. As usual, it's a figment of my imagination…be afraid…be very afraid!
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns them all!! Except for the new ones…
Must be funny, in txt format, and have a plot
(Not anymore, so FF.net will take it!)Someone's ears must be cold
Someone needs to say "Lo, ani lo ohevet ha covah sheloh!"
Molly Weasley needs to be in or mention in the fic-
You must write the entire fic without ever using the name "Harry"
Some one needs to chew gum obnoxiously
Lastly, a striped cat
Ron, Hermione and Draco were going on a ski trip for a project having to do with their study of muggles class.
"Oi! Draco, how many bags did you bring?" asked Ron.
"Well, muggles are known to pack heavy" said Draco.
"Yeah, muggle women" muttered Ron.
As they got off the plane, a funny looking man wearing a turban ran up to them.
"Are you the three that came from England? For the exchange?" asked the man. He had an odd, squeaky, foreign voice.
He's American? Thought Hermione.
"Let us be off, my British friends!" he said.
~~ On the way to the Ski Lodge ~~
"So, are you friends with Boy-Who-Defeated-The-Dark-Lord?" asked the little man, who turned out to be named Chui.
"Who?" asked Draco, bewildered.
"Oh you mean H-" started Hermione.
"Speak not the name!" cried Chui.
He seems a bit like my old house elf, thought Draco, while popping another piece of gum in his mouth. Hey! Muggles do know a bit…They make good candy.
"Why not?" asked Ron.
"We lower-class have not the right to speak, much less hear, the name of such a great wizard" said Chui, as if this were completely normal.
"What about H-" asked Draco, coming back to earth.
"SPEAK NOT THE NAME!" yelled Chui, with surprising volume for such a little man.
"Draco, haven't you been paying any attention?" asked Ron. "Hey…Who smells like grape?"
Everyone turned to look at Draco, who was blowing a purple bubble.
.::POP::.
"Oh, Draco! Sweetie, now you've got purple gooey-stuff in your hair!" moaned Hermione.
"But, this Muggle gum is like…so good! I think I'll die if I don't get anymore!" said Draco, going on like a little child.
"I think I'll die if you don't stop chomping so damn loud" muttered Ron.
Suddenly, the limo stopped.
"Ah! Here we are!" said Chui.
~~ Later ~~
Spinning around in her room, Hermione was in heaven.
"Ohmigosh! This is like, so wonderful!" she said to herself.
"It's better because you're here" said Draco, sneaking up from behind and grabbing her around the waist.
"Draco!" said Hermione, giggling. "Really Draco" she said, turning serious. "We shouldn't be like this…here, you know? I think Ron's…jealus because his…H-"
"Speak not the name!" squealed Draco. "But…I'll try to stay…calm…and under control…Wait" he said, sitting up. "You know how hard it'll be to stay sane, much less calm, around you, in a ski cap?" Draco asked, wiggling his eyebrows. (A/N: I have this thing with wiggling eyebrows…)
Hmm…Thought Draco, his mind wandering. What about Hermione in just a ski cap…
"Snap out of it, ferret boy!" teased Hermione, playfully.
"Huh?" he asked.
"I saw that goofy grin and that look in your eye!" she said.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Jumping apart, Draco pretended to be interested in the telephone (which he was but he'd never tell anyone)while Hermione opened the door.
"Oh…Hello Ron!" said Hermione.
"Hey guys!" said Ron. "Ready to hit the slopes? I hear the kiddie hill is free today. Oh, don't you love my hat? I got it from H-"
"Speak not the name!" said Hermione and Draco together, laughing madly.
"Well, do you like it?" asked Ron.
"Lo, ani lo ohevet ha covan shelch!" said Draco, proudly.
"What the friggin…" said Hermione, mouth wide open.
"Laughing, Draco said "Finally stumped ya, Hermi. It means 'No, I do not love your hat.' I knew those Hebrew lessons would come in handy…"
"Well…Let's go get changed…" said Hermione, still looking at Draco like he had an extra head.
~~ After they "Hit the slopes" ~~
Later, that evening, they were sitting next to the fire, in the main room of the ski lodge.
"Man! My ears are freezing!" said Ron.
"You should have worn your hat!" said Hermione, being motherly.
"But you guys didn't like it" he said, pouting.
"I didn't like it" said Draco, pointedly. "And don't get any ideas Weasley. My boat does not float in the same waters as yours."
Hermione was trying hard not the laugh. She knew she shouldn't. She had supported her two friends. They had been awfully brave to come out with it.
"C'mon. Let's go get our forutnes told!" she said, changing the subject.
The trio walked over to a table. A little man, who strangely looked like Chui, was sitting there with a striped cat in his lap.
"Ah! So you wish to have your fortunes told by Cho and his amazing cat, Marigold?" he said.
"Yes please" said Hermione.
"How do you say it?" he asked, in the same foreign voice as Chui. "Okiay-dokiay then" said Cho.
"First the miss. Let me see your palm. If that is ok with dragon boy over there"
"What?" said Draco and Hermione together, eyes big as plates. He must have some sort of power…Thought Draco. But we all know Hermione didn't think that because she's so skeptical.
"Um…never mind…Thank you though" said Hermione, politely, getting up.
"Me then!" said Ron. He moved in front of Cho and the striped cat.
"Hmm…Marigold, what do you think?" asked Cho. "Oh! Your mother, she is Molly Weasley, correct?"
"Yes. How'd you know?" asked Ron, pale under his freckles.
"Diagon Alley." Said the little man grinning.
"Oh…" said Ron, sighing. "But never mind" he said.
~~ That night ~~
Draco snuck into Hermione's room.
"Hey sweetness" he said, crawling under the covers behind her.
"What are you doing?" she asked groggily.
"I came to see you!" he said. "Plus, I didn't want Weasley getting any ideas" he said.
"Draco…" said Hermione.
.::POP::.
"Draco!" yelled Hermione.
"What?" he asked, all to innocently.
"What was that?" asked Hermione.
"My bubble burst…" said Draco, sadly.
"It's not on anything…is it?" she asked.
"Erm…yes" said Draco. He'd mastered blowing bubbles, but he hadn't figured out how to carefully pop them.
"On what?" she asked, trying to stay calm.
"Your hair" he said meekly.
"Draco!" she screamed.
"I'm sorry. I mean, it was my last piece of grape!"
"Arg!" said Hermione, getting up to go to the bathroom to fix her hair. "I really hope I don't have to fix my hair the muggle way" she said to herself.
"Living like a muggle you have to do things like muggles!" called Draco to her, quoting Dumbledore. "Good night sweetness!" he said, cheerfully. Even though he loved her, he couldn't resist seeing her squirm.
~~ THE END ~~
A/N:
Sorry about Ron! I wuv him too! But I just thought it'd be funny…Hope you liked!