Tegan will be at my place for a couple of days, then we will start the new tour. She's doing something in my living room, I can hear her from there. But what the fuck is she doing? Jesus I need a coffee.
I stand up from my bed and open the door of my room, and there she is. She's jumping like a fucking monkey.
"Jesus Christ Tegan, what the hell are you doing?!" I ask her angrily, I see on the clock that it's just 9 in the morning.
She turns abruptly and flashes a smile, her forehead it's covered with sweat.
"What are you smiling at, you jerk? I was sleeping," I say to her, raising my voice.
Her smile fades away, and she stops her movements.
"I was just working out, maybe you should move your lazy ass so you wouldn't look like you've been hit by a wrecking ball," she says to me.
"Fuck you Tegan," I say coldly to her.
"I'm the one supposed to suffer from jet lag," she says in a low tone, but high enough for me to hear it.
"Shit," I say in a whisper. Just two more days Sara, than you will be on a bus... SHIT.
One Week Later
We are touring, it's exciting and things are going very well. Our performances are very good, and I can say our new songs sound better than in the first part of our tour. We're heading to Miami, where we will take a week break from the tour but we have a few shows before we reach our destination.
Tegan is still doing her crazy work out program. I think it's called Insanity. Yeah, she looks insane as she does that exercise, but I have to admit that it's funny to see her struggling trough the program. Out of breath she jumps, runs in place and bends and... all those things. I know I would never survive a routine like that.
She's doing it now, and I'm watching her. She's bending in front of me, and God, I have a beautiful view of her ass. Jesus, talking of asses... I miss Stacy so much. I haven't seen her in almost three weeks now. I just want to feel her lips on mine, to hug her and feel her warm body. Fuck Tegan, you and your fucking ass. Fuck Fuck Fuck.
I think she had just finished with her daily program. She stands up from the floor and takes off her t-shirt. Her body is covered with a layer of sweat.
"Christ, Tegan... just do it into the bathroom," I yell at her, reaching for the coffee machine.
"Take it easy, we are alone and it's not like I'm naked, so shut the fuck up," she says, but I can hear in her voice that she's not angry, she's just having fun with me. I smile at her but give her a middle finger.
She goes toward the door of the bathroom to take a shower as I sit on the couch with a book. I see a quick movement and look in her direction just a moment before something hit my face. I yell in surprise and then I see it in my lap, it's her damn damp t-shirt, carrying the heavy smell of 45 minutes of intense workout. I look again at her in disbelief, and she starts to laugh at me.
"You're gross Tegan, you will pay for this," I say running toward her. But she's in the bathroom before I could reach her. I threw punches at the door for a few seconds, yelling at her even if I'm not truly angry. I can hear her laughing on the other side of the door. When I hear the water of the shower, I come back to the couch to read.
I can hear her humming in the shower and I smile, her voice is so sweet yet strong. I can feel my eyes getting heavy even though Iv'e only been awake only for a couple of hours. I put my book on the table and lie down, focusing on her voice. A few minutes later, half asleep, my mind gives me images of pale skin caressed by drops of water.
Two Weeks Later
We are in Miami, this is the last day of our break. I'm a little upset because Stacy was supposed to meet me here and stay with me for four days, but some unexpected work issues blocked her. So I am here, sharing a room with my sister. We are going through the same routine. I wake up finding Tegan doing her exercises. I've started to jog at the beginning of the week, when Stacy told me she wouldn't come. While she does her things, I go for a run and then we go out for lunch together.
I miss Stacy so much and I crave her presence. I spend hours talking with her on the phone but I want her physically closer. God, I think I'm even more clingy with my sister. I just need some human heat and she's here with me. She doesn't mind my behavior, she's always been clingy so I think she likes this closeness. And I'm really enjoying this time with Tegan, we talk a lot, joke and just have fun. I had missed her this way.
We are out for dinner now, just the two of us. She's has on a sleeveless shirt and I can see that her workout it's paying off.
"Hey Tee, that thing that you do is giving results," I say to her at the end of dinner, as we exit the restaurant.
"Yeah, I know, and I feel great. I can do anything," she says to me, flexing her muscles with a cocky smile.
"What about climb a tree, you monkey?" I say to her, and run away playfully. I see her start to chase me, but I'm faster and even if she is stronger, she has less endurance. I turn and start to laugh at her.
"Yeah, very useful those muscles when you can't even catch me," I say poking my tongue out.
I bump into someone and I turn around to apologize, and when I look back at Tegan, she's in front of me with a big smirk on her face. I smile at her just a moment before she bends to lift my body on her shoulder.
"Put me down Teeeeeeeeee," I yell to her but I can't stop laughing. Normally I would be annoyed, but the little alcohol in my system, and the new connection we made in the last few days, lets me enjoy this moment with her.
"Why don't you try to run now?" she says to me, spanking me playfully.
But her gesture does something to me, I feel a shock to my center and I can't stand it. I start to squirm.
"Tegan put me down," I say to her with a stern tone this time.
"You need to learn how to looooooseeeeeee," she says to me happily, bouncing me on her shoulder, just making things worse.
"FUCK, TEGAN, I SAID PUT ME DOWN," I yell at her, and she stops. She puts me down slowly and my breath it's short. A thing like that is not supposed to happen. Oh Jesus FUCK.
"What the fuck is your problem?" she asks me sadly. I've just killed her mood, I know.
"Why you can't just fucking listen to me?" I say looking everywhere but her eyes, I still feel the heat on my cheeks.
"Fuck you Sara, I was joking," she said push passing me. She's upset and I can't blame her. And now that my body it's calm again, I feel bad for my reaction. But I was just confused about my bodys reaction to her action. I'm not supposed to get excited about my fucking sister.
I need Stacy and I need her soon, my frustration it's driving me crazy. Fuck, my sister? Really?
But I can't really understand, am I like a hormonal teenager again?
Four days later
We are on the road again, but things are cold with Tegan. Since my outburst, she's been cold with me. I know she's like that and soon she will be again the usual clingy Tegan, but I miss the way we were just few days ago. I don't know, it's so strange. I crave her closeness and I don't even know why. I find myself looking at her for long periods. Sometimes I just look at her, searching for the physical differences between us. I have to admit that she's beautiful, she's curvy and has meat in the right places, and she's growing stronger.
We are doing our sound check for the show we have tonight. We have a couple of days off after this, and Stacy is coming. I cant wait to see her, I want her, I need her. I don't really understand what got into me lately, it's not like I'm one of those people that always thinks about sex. But I feel like I'm hungry, starving. Jesus what happening to me? I need Stacy.
Two days later
Stacy is gone, back to her work. I've really enjoyed her presence. We spent the whole time together and had a lot of fun. But my mind was wandering in other places. I think she noticed that even if she didn't complain. She knew that sometimes I stray.
Today Tegan and I had a couple of interviews and a radio show. We have time this evening because we don't have a show. I want to make it up to her. I miss her. I don't know why but even while my girlfriend was there, I thought a lot about Tegan. I missed her in a new way. I can't even explain to myself how or why. It's just the way it is.
She's watching some TV on our tour bus, and I'm in my bunk, reading.
"Tegan," I call her, coming out from my bunk. She looks at me without saying a word. She just stares at me, looking into my eyes. It makes me a little uncomfortable. It's not the joyful gaze she has most of the time. She's serious and a little sad. I feel bad, I feel as if its my fault. I smile to her.
"How about a dinner together? My treat," I say, trying to cheer her up. She looks at me intently for few seconds, as she's weighting my proposal. Then I see it, the sweet smile I've missed the last couple days. Now I know why I have missed her so much.
"How about some take away and a movie here? The boys are out..." she says smiling, and it felt like I haven't seen her happy for ages.
"Wonderful," I say, walking toward her and pulling her from her seat by her hands. She stood up and I catch her in a hug. It surprises the both of us, I'm not the one who gets physical in our relationship. But I just wanted to do that. As I saw her with that happy smile, I felt a wave of warmth and love washing over me and I just wanted to share that with her. I squeeze her a little and without knowing it, I take a deep breath inhaling her beautiful scent. Oh God she smells so good.
"Are you ok, Sasa?" she asks to me, letting me go. I look at her and I can see the concern in her eyes. She's genuinely worried, and part of me thinks it's funny, part of me is happy she cares... but part of me it's sad that a little gesture like that, rises such feelings in her. Am I that cold, that she gets worried about a hug? I don't want to think about it, so I smile at her.
"I had just missed your smile," I say, and I turn to walk toward the door, my words starting a fire in me that shows with the tint of pink on my cheeks. I hear her giggle a little then she follows me.
A week later
It's so damn hot today. It's early in the morning and I'm sweating. I can hear Tegan doing her exercise in the front of the bus. I don't know how she could, but I know the heat is hitting her, her breath is shorter than usual. I come out from my bunk to take a bottle of water and...
Oh my God...
She's doing it in a pair of shorts and her sport bra. I can see the muscles on her back as she bends and lies on the floor, does a couple of push-ups and then jumps to her feet again. Her arms are stronger. Her abs are visible under the layer of pale, sweaty skin. I follow the run of a drop of sweat, from under her bra, just making a turn near her belly-button, to disappear in the fabric of her shorts. The fire starting on my face is spreading down my body, hitting my core.
The sight of my sweaty twin sister is turning me on. Oh fuck, I need to go.
I find that I'm holding my breath, and when I exhale, it comes out more like a whimper. She turns and I can feel my face burning the moment my eyes slip to her chest, rising and falling faster than normal. I go to the bathroom and change in a matter of seconds. I exit to find Tegan sitting on the chair, she looks at me the moment I open the door. There is a strange light in her eyes.
"Are you ok?" she asks to me, and I hear a teasing tone in her voice. She gives me a smirk. What the fuck Tegan?
"Peachy," I say, going toward the door of the bus. I go out without looking back at her, even if I can feel her gaze on me.
As soon as I'm out of the bus, I start to run slowly. I'm looking for a quiet place to be with myself, and I saw a park nearby, yesterday. When I reach the park I start to run faster, trying to escape my thoughts but images of my sister are hunting me. I thought it was from my sexual frustration, but she's still on my mind even after I had my days with Stacy. I start to run faster and faster, trying to escape from myself, but I can't. I don't know how much I run when my lungs start to burn, and suddenly my breath becomes short, too short. I slow down and reach for a bench to sit, but my breath won't calm, indeed, it becomes more erratic. I take my puffer and inhale a couple of times, I never go out without it, especially when I go for a run. I know my asthma could hit me anytime, especially when I'm doing physical activity or if I'm very stressed and tense. And God, right now I'm all of the above.
When my breath is steady again, and the panic leaves me, my sister is on my mind again. Fuck You.
I go back to the bus, my lungs are still burning even if I haven't any real problem breathing. When I open the door, Tegan is there, she has changed in a pair of skinny jeans and a simple white oversized shirt. Her feet are bare and I can see her toes moving, and I can't hold back my smile. When the door closes, she turns to face me with a smile. But her smile fades as she looks at me. She stands up from the chair and take a few steps toward me.
"Are you ok, Sasa?" she asks me, and I can feel in her tone, and in her eyes, that she's worried.
"Yes Tegan, I'm perfectly fine, why you keep asking that?" I say annoyed. I don't want her to babysit me, and in this moment the use of that name just pisses me off even more.
"It's just... you are so pale..." she says, looking at the ground. I don't know why but to see her act so shyly makes me feel bad for my reaction. She was just worried. Why do I have to be such a bitch? It's not her fault if I...
"I had an attack during my run," I say, passing her and sitting on the couch.
"My God, Sara... and you said you were ok," she said taking a seat near me.
"I had my puffer with me, don't worry. It wasn't that bad..." I say to her, trying to reassure her.
She turns to me and I look at her smiling weakly. She reaches out her hand to tuck a strand of my sweaty bangs behind my ear. Her touch is burning my skin and my gaze slides to her lips for just a moment, then I'm looking in her wonderful eyes again. She's looking at me intently. I feel the tension building up between us, I want to run away but I can't move. Her hand slowly traces my cheek and I can feel us both inching closer, so slowly that I'm not sure this it's happening. But then she blinks her eyes and lets her hand fall to her side.
"You need a shower," she says under her breath, and I can see that her cheeks are now rosy, and I know, from the heat I feel on my face, that my face is burning.
I stand up without any further word and go to my bunk to take some clothes. We have a show tonight, I need a shower, but mostly, I need to calm down.
The Next Day
Muscles are flexing and relaxing, I see skin being stretched, following the movement of her body. I see drops of sweat tracing the outline of those muscles. I can't see her face but I can recognize the tattoos on those strong arms. I reach out with my hand and touch the small of her back. Her body stops, the only things moving now are those drops. I see her turn around to face me, I can't see her face and I don't know why, but I know who she is, and I can't care less, I just know what I want.
I touch her arm from her elbow, going up, but when I reach her shoulder, she takes my wrist with her hand, firmly, almost painfully. I try to withdraw but her grip is strong. She pulls me to her and my body smashes into hers. I can feel her skin on mine, and only then I know I'm naked. She lets my hand go and I feel her arms around my back as she embraces me. My center comes in contact with her thigh and unconsciously I spread my legs and her thigh pushes further. I moan when I feel the pressure, and before I know it, I'm grinding against her.
"Shit!" I heard her voice...
"Fuck!" I heard again, followed by the sound of bones creaking. I open my eyes and the first things I become conscious of are: one, I was dreaming; two, I'm fucking wet.
I can feel my pulse in my center. It' almost hurts. I need to go to the bathroom.
When I open the curtains of my bunk, I see her. She's on the floor, her arms are supporting the upper half of her body as she pushes her hips down. I can feel every muscle tensed, her head is arched back, and I can see her tendons.
The sight sends a shock directly to my core. It's killing me, and I can't stop my hand. I cup myself under my pajama and make a little pressure on my center. As hard I could try, I can't hold back it.
"Oh my God... fuck..." I moan, and I know I'm loud enough for her to hear me in this small space. I'm just glad the boys aren't here.
"Sar..." she turns abruptly stops her words when she sees me. Her eyes widen when they fall on my hand in my pants. It's like the shock in my center is more powerful than that the thought of her catching me.
My mouth falls open when I can't stop my hand between my legs, where I can feel my pulse. But it lasts just a moment. Then my eyes are on hers and I'm lost. Theres something in her eyes that I can't read.
"Oh fuck..." I say, and the desire is not the only feeling in my voice as I start to cry.
I take my hand out of my pants and I'm embarrassed at the feeling of my soaked fingers. I can even smell my own arousal.
I stand up and run toward the bathroom. I can see her head turn as she follows my movements. I shut the door and start to cry. What the fuck is happening?
Ten minutes later my tears calm down and I start to strip off my night clothes to take a shower. As the water hits my body, I can feel my muscles relax, and my mind soon follows. I start to wash my body, and when my hand reaches my mound, images from my dream comes back. I exhale a trembling breath as my fingers start to circle my clit. I feel my own wetness on my hand as I start to circle myself faster. A flash of her muscles tensing, her thigh between my legs are showing in my mind as I lean against the wall with my head on my forearm.
I see her again, as she's on her hands, pushing her hips down, but I'm there, underneath her body, and she's pushing down on me, her center against mine.
I enter myself with two fingers, thrusting hard. My palm hits my clit with every thrust, and soon my entire body is moving. I'm riding my own hand at the thought of my sister.
When I reach my orgasm, I bite hard on my arm to stop myself from crying out her name.
When I'm back on Earth, I smile. But I can feel my tears on my lips. I'm crying and smiling at the same time for what I've done, for what I feel.
When I come out from the bathroom, I'm alone on the bus. Tegan is gone. I feel ashamed for what has happened and suddenly I feel the need to cry again, but I fight to hold back my tears.
I go to the front of the bus to make myself a cup of coffee, but I see a cup on the table.
There's a piece of paper near it.
"See you later," the paper says and there is a little smile drawing near the words. I recognize Tegan's messy handwriting.
This leaves me very confused. It's the first time shes done something like that, and she did it the day she had caught me looking at her with my hand in my pants? I can't understand her, but the only thing that matters, is that she isn't mad at me. I hope.
That Night
"Oh my God, yes..." I say, my voice is trembling. I feel her inside of me. She's pushing deeper and deeper as her mouth is on my neck. She sucks on my pulse point and a moan escapes my lips.
I feel her mouth going down, kissing every inch of my skin, setting every part of me on fire. I move desperately under her, squirming, arching. I'm begging her with every part of me. And soon, her lips are where I need them the most. I feel them wrap around my bundle of nerves as she starts to suck gently. I arch my back again as she starts to move faster inside of me, to lick and suck harder. I start to scream her name.
"Tegan... Tee, oh... oooh fuck," I feel my orgasm approaching.
"Sara..." I hear her whisper...
"Sasa... please," she says as I came into her mouth.
"Sara... please... wake up..." I hear her voice again, clearly this time.
I open my eyes and her hand is on my arm. I reach out with my hands, cup her face and pull her. My lips meet with hers and I feel a shock running over my entire body.
I let her go and open my eyes. Then I realize it. This isn't a dream.
Instantly my eyes start to water and I feel sick to my stomach. I've kissed my sister... I have really kissed Tegan. I did it and it wasn't a dream.
Her eyes are fixed on mine and I'm just waiting for her outburst of rage, I know it's coming. And when I see her hand moving, I close my eyes waiting for the blow. I don't even try to defend myself... whatever is coming, I deserve it.
But it doesn't come, instead I feel a damp hand warping around my neck and pulling me.
Our lips crush together hard. She kisses me with force and I feel a burning passion in this kiss. My heart starts to run when I let out a moan and feel her tongue sliding into my mouth. I suck on her tongue and the grunt she frees in my mouth sends shivers down my spine.
Suddenly as soon as it started, it ended. She breaks the kiss abruptly, and she looks for a moment at me. Her eyes are full of lust and desire, and I feel that what I've experienced lately, is nothing compared to the fire I see in her eyes. Then she goes away, back to her bunk.
I can feel her sobbing lightly from my bunk, and I want to go to her and console her, but I don't know how. I don't know what to do. I thought it was just me, but there is something inside of her that I can't understand. The fire I saw in her eyes was so powerful that it scared me.