I looked into her deep, brow, liquid eyes. They weren't like they just to be. No, I had seen this. But it wasn't good. Was it? It didn't feel right.
I tried to concentrate. I really did. But everything was just a haze in my mind. Will she go away? Did it mean that? Oh, no...
Or did it really mean anything? She was still standing there. I'm puzzled and concerned. No! She's concerned! Yes, I got it right.

I pushed her away from me. Just a little bit so I could have more space. It felt crowded even though it was only her. Or was it? I only saw her. I tried to look around, but couldn't. My head slumped down and I felt fingers in my hair. They were pulling it. It hurt. I wanted it to stop. I realized they were my fingers.

Other hands saved me from my own. They tucked them to my sides.

Focus, Edward. Focus

Yes, I know I need to. Shut up. There are too many things running through my head. I don't have any energy. I don't want to think, but I can't stop that. I think about trees and blue sky, but soon my mind wanders to a white hall and then to a warm couch. It hurts too.

After a couple of confused moments I heard them in my ears. "Edward!" she screamed. Bella's arms are around me and they make my own arms stay next my sides. Why? Are we home now? We are home! I guess we're in the bedroom. We are going to sleep. I need to go brush my teeth.

"Bella, don't shout", I plead. "No need to shout", I tell her and smile to ease her sudden distress.

"Edward. Come here", someone says. A deep voice. "Bella, who's there?" I ask playfully. "Only me, silly", she says back. But no, it's someone else. Who's there? She won't tell me. It's fine, Eddy-teddy...

"It's no one! Don't listen to him!" Bella screams more. She's frantically trying to grab me, but I don't know why. But I'm getting pulled away from her. I want to stay with her. I need to get to her. Who's behind me? Who's pulling me? My feet glide on the white floors as I'm being dragged from my arms.

Someone is behind her too. "Run Bella!" I tell her panicked.

"He's alright! I'm going to make him alright! Don't, stop it!" her cries shake through me longingly as I should go somewhere, calling for help and then they cut me at the same time. It hurts. And I can't move. What's going on?

Nervous. Pain. Throwing up. Voices around me. Hands grabbing me. Numb. Ache. Lost. Oblivious. Swallowing. Throwing up. Pain and ache. Missing. Absolute loss. Scared. Ache. Lost...

"Bella, what's wrong?" I ask begging her to answer me. My throat aches. I can't quite speak. And I can't see her anymore. It's only white and fuzzy. It's a blur. I don't feel. But I do.

It's fine now. She will come. Edward, listen.

I don't listen.

"No, it's alright. You can see him", deep voice says. Sedates... It's over.

Light footsteps coming towards me. Warily.

No, it's my head. It hurts. Slits. A wound, and stitches come open. Everything feels. Too much. Pills, please!

And soon it's alright, because there's warmness on my lips. True? Doesn't matter for now.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I won't leave you. Don't leave me", she approaches with a voice full of emotion. "What's wrong?" I ask again. "Won't you tell me?" I forecast, but I'm unsure.

"Too long, Edward. Just too long. But I'm back. I'm going to get you out of here. It will be alright again", she promises. Is she sure? What if she will get disappointed in me again? She will just send me back...

"How do I trust?" I don't look at her. I can't. My eyes won't open. Neither can I touch her. That hurts.

"You will. I love you", Bella says and I hear smile. Lips brushes right next to my lips. This must be true. And still it doesn't matter. Only her.

"I love you", I hear myself say and her arms collect me.

Maybe you didn't understand it. But I don't have more time to explain it either, so... Bye then ;)