"Show me the meaning of being lonely."
By: Careless Dreamer
( So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me and maybe...)
Hilde sat on her bed watching the phone. She was expecting a phone call from her lover who hadn't called yet. She sat there with her knees held tightly to her chest as crystal tears slid down her cheeks. Blue eyes glared at the phone one last time before she got up off the satin sheets and walked over to the window.
"Please call me," she softly whispered to the window as if it were her love.
Slowly she closed her eyes and sighed as the sound of rain hitting the glass got louder. Hilde wrapped her arms around her waist and walked to the door and flicked the light switch off and then left. Hilde had gone on a mission a few weeks ago and the last Hilde heard of him was that he was going to call her.
She walked through the long corridor of the quiet house to the staircase and stood at the top. She sighed again and walked down them, her footsteps echoing through the house. She walked into the living room and stared at the wall before putting on some music. She was feeling alone so she put on "Show me the meaning of being lonely," by the Backstreet Boys. Slowly it played and she stood by the window and looked out at the dark cloudy sky and then down the gravel drive way for a car. She turned to look at the time briefly, 11:47 pm.
(Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I can feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me...)
She stared out at the dull night and then at the warm log fire burning away not ten feet away from her. Her head snapped up as Hilde's car pulled to a stop outside. Hilde swung the door open and his weak body fell out and hit the gravel beneath him. Hilde gasped and ran for the front door and threw it open, running out into the rain. Hilde spluttered and tried to pull himself off the floor then saw Hilde's feet running towards him.
(Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?
Tell me why I can't be there where you are?
There's something missing in my heart...)
Hilde came to a halt, skidding along the gravel and threw herself to the ground on her knees. Duo was still trying to get up as Hilde kneeled beside him on the ground, the rain stinging their skin as it fell. When Hilde saw what had happened to Duo, she started crying again. Duo had obviously been either hit in his Gundam or had self-detonated in order to save himself. Lightening flashed same distance away, lighting up the dark sky and Hilde could see what her lover looked like. Duo had external injuries and possibly many internal ones too. An inch long cut along his forehead had made blood cover half of Duo's face and with the rain soaking them both, it made him look so helpless.
Hilde looked into those violet eyes and saw something, hopelessness and sorrow. Her heartbeat increased as Duo's eyes widened to the size of little ping-pong balls and then back to their original size. Duo's breath was getting sharper and every so often he winced in pain. Hilde lifted Duo into her arms and held him tightly. She looked down into Duo's eyes once more and saw love, love that was never going to go away.
(Life goes on, as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say
Forever gaze if only
Guilty roads to an endless love
There's no control, are you with me now?
Your every wish will be done
Then tell me...)
Hilde cried harder and this time she screamed out curses at the sky. Duo lifted his hand to the soft skin on Hilde's cheek and caressed it gently. He smiled as Hilde stared back at him with not-so-huge eyes as they usually were. Duo jumped in pain as it soared through his chest and down to his thighs making him scream and tears began falling from those eyes. Hilde leant down and kissed Duo's soft lips lovingly and Duo kissed back, his hand traveling to the back of Hilde and pulling the hair tie out of her braid letting all the purplish locks fall freely around them. Hilde grinned at Duo and pulled him back into her arms.
Duo let out a wail of sorrow as the thought of dying shot through his mind, thoughts of never seeing Hilde again, those blue eyes and that long hair he adored. Hilde looked down at him with concern in her eyes and then she thought that she should get him inside as carefully as possible.
(Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?
Tell me why I can't be there where you are?
There's something missing in my heart...)
Once inside, Hilde laid Duo on the couch while she went to phone the paramedics. Duo lay on the couch as shots of tremendous pain ran throughout his entire body. Once Hilde had done the call, she came back to Duo and watched over him. Both were soaked through to the bone and Hilde's hair was dripping like a tap. Minutes passed and Duo's condition got worse, now he was coughing up blood and whimpering every time he inhaled. Hilde was getting scared now and all she could do was watch Duo lie there in pain, suffering all that was possible in his state. Duo moved slightly and that made him scream out loud and roll off the couch and onto the floor. Hilde leapt off the couch and was by Duo's side once again, but this Duo was unconscious.
"Come on! Duo wake up! Please! Please wake up Duo, please!" Hilde screamed uncontrollably as the sound of something heavy came up the driveway. Soon there was a loud knocking on the front door and Hilde didn't bother getting up.
"IT'S OPEN!" She yelled and the ET came running in with a stretcher, major first aid kit, neck brace and oxygen mask. They pulled Duo onto the stretcher and put on a neck brace and oxygen mask. Hilde could only stare at the almost-dead Duo Maxwell being wheeled towards an ambulance covered in all these gadgets to keep him alive. Once Duo was in the back of the ambulance he got hooked up to a heart monitor and one paramedic came out and looked at Hilde.
"Would you like to come with us?" he asked and Hilde nodded and walked towards the ambulance with the man in green and white. As they climbed in, the driver switched on the sirens and started to drive once the doors were closed.
(There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body and soul
How can it be?
You're asking me to feel things you never show
You were missing in my heart
Tell me why can't I be there where you are?)
Duo was rushed straight into the ER room and the doctors and nurses set to work to keep him alive. Hilde sat outside in the waiting area dumbfounded. What the hell had just happened? Her lover nearly died in her arms is what just happened! Hilde didn't keep the tears from falling freely down her red cheeks and on to her already soaking wet shirt. She sat there like that for about three hours before she fell asleep.
Duo had an emergency operation on his scalp, stomach, right thigh and his lower back where internal injuries were more life threatening. He had his stomach pumped to get all of the blood out from a ruptured vessel, his right thigh bone had been smashed into eight pieces and had to be pinned back together in order for him to keep it. The laceration on his forehead actually ran from the left side of his scalp at the back, all the way to the right side of his forehead stopping just above his right eye, deep enough for stitches. His lower back had been crushed and it had to be pinned back together like his thigh and also had three 4cm long and wide metal plates put in. The doctors were amazed that he wasn't paralyzed by the damaged that was caused to his spinal cord. Once the operation was over, after four hours, Duo was put in a small private room to rest until he woke up from his anesthetic.
(Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?
Tell me why I can't be there where you are?
There's something missing in my heart...)
Hilde was woken by a nurse just after Duo had arrived in his little room. She kneeled on the floor and shook Hilde until she looked at him with her eyes fully open and she looked awake. The male nurse looked at her, she looked like there was only one meaning to her life and that the meaning was in that room, sleeping.
"Ms. Schbeiker? Mr. Maxwell is out of theatre and is in a private room still under anesthetic, I'm afraid but he is alive and well thanks to you!"
The tall, blond haired, blue eyed, gorgeous looking nurse told her and smiled when Hilde's eyes lit up when he said that Duo was alive and well. Hilde smiled and hugged the nurse, surprising the hell out of him.
"Thank you so much! Do you know how long he will be in here?" Hilde asked and the nurse looked through his notes.
"That's what we're here for! And about eight to nine weeks or less, depends on how his condition turns. Could be bad or good. Good I think!"
The nurse smiled again and stood up looking at Hilde.
"Umm, nurse," Hilde started but was cut off by the male in front of her.
"My name is Dillon by the way so you can call me that instead of "nurse" OK?" Dillon said and Hilde smiled and began to finish off what she was saying.
"Ok Dillon! My name's Hilde. Do you know whether I can see Duo or not?" Hilde asked and Dillon just smiled again.
"Yes Hilde, you can see him now. You are a relative aren't you?"
Hilde's smile disappeared and she blushed a little. Dillon was curious.
"Umm, not exactly. I'm his, his, his girlfriend," Hilde said looking at her feet wishing she could kick herself. There was nothing to be embarrassed by; just the fact that they were lovers was a little hard to tell a person that's all. Dillon smiled and put a hand on Hilde's shoulder.
"That's fine! Nothing to be ashamed by Hilde. So, yes you can see him and if you need someone to talk to just ask for Dillon and I'll come see you OK?" he smiled and Hilde looked up, quite shocked that this gorgeous man would let her see him. Now she had someone she could talk to and relate to but as much as she wanted to at that moment, the German teen just wanted to go to her sleeping beauty and the next ward.
"Thank you so much Dillon! And I think I might need to talk to someone later or something."
Hilde smiled as they began to walk off in Duo's direction. Once they were there, Dillon opened the door and let Hilde in telling her that he'd see her later before he was called away. Hilde sat by Duo's bed and listened to the sound of beeping coming from the heart monitor and the soft sound of breathing from Duo. Hilde gently held Duo's soft hand in hers and looked at him lying there in a drugged sleep.
"Duo? I am so happy now that I know you aren't going to leave me! I was listening to that Backstreet Boys song, "Show me the meaning of being lonely," one and I thought that I might know what the meaning of being lonely really meant if you left me alone in this dark, dull crazy world by myself! I don't think I'd be able to go on without you by my side or if you weren't there to kiss all my pain away or to hold me and keep me safe. I don't even want to imagine it either because I know it would be terrible!" Hilde spoke softly and rubbed Duo's hand. Hilde sighed and looked at the clock on the light blue wall. The room was dim but she could just about see the time, 3:07 am. Hilde was tired and heavy so she decided to sleep with her head next to Duo's side on the bed. As Hilde drifted off to a normal sleep, Duo's fingers moved making Hilde jump.
(Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?
Tell me why I can't be there where you are?
There's something missing in my heart...)
Hilde lifted her head to look into those violet eyes that were smiling. Duo was looking down at his lover with smiling eyes and a smile on his drugged looking face. Hilde smiled and leant up to hug Duo very carefully. Duo's arms wrapped around her waist tightly and Hilde's round Duo's neck. Hilde lightly kissed Duo's cheek and slowly sat back down in her place not breaking the gaze they held.
"I'll never leave you alone Hilde, never!" Duo said softly as he looked into those blue pools for the first time in hours. Hilde was shocked inside because she didn't think Duo heard her talking to him but she now knew that he did!
"I know you won't and I'll never leave you alone either!"
Hilde smiled at Duo and kissed his hand. Duo smiled and watched as Hilde did so.
"So? Did they tell you at all how long I will be in here?" Duo asked as he looked around the room. A very cozy, cute and smart looking ward room.
"Yep! Eight to nine weeks, depends on how you recover coz if you get better sooner rather than later you can leave sooner!"
Hilde smiled again. Duo smiled at the happiness he could hear in Hilde's voice. Duo motioned for Hilde to come closer so that he could kiss her properly this time. Hilde got up and moved closer to Duo's face and leant over to kiss him, her hair dropping on the pillow next to him. Hilde kissed Duo's soft lips and caressed his face with the hand that wasn't holding up, stopping her from falling on Duo. Hilde felt Duo run his tongue along her bottom lip and she allowed him to enter. They kissed passionately for a while. They broke apart and looked into each other's eyes, seeing the reflection of their own feeling, love. After a while Hilde told Duo to go back to sleep and that she would be sitting there when he woke up. Hilde fell asleep on the chair next to Duo's bed, hands linked together.
Dillon came back to check on Hilde at 6am, just as his night shift ended. He saw him sleeping holding Duo's hand and Dillon just smiled.
"Aw! Look at that, so sweet! Now that's what I call love!"
He thought and got a pen out and wrote Hilde a little letter. Once he had written it, he left. He knew she would see Hilde that night so he just walked away, smiling. Hilde woke up later on that morning and found the little letter next to her. She opened it and read it.
Hilde,
I came in to check on you just before my shift ended, just to see if you were ok and all. You were asleep so I left this note for you. You and Duo are so sweet together and I hope you two are really happy! It made me happy to see such a perfect couple! I know for a fact I'll see you later on tonight, so if you want to talk or whatever I'll be here! I hope that you have found a real friend in me, because I know I have in you. I'll be able to have a 30 minute brake at 3am so if you are awake and still here then, you'll can find me in the staff room or the cafeteria. So until tonight...bye!
Dillon x
Hilde smiled and folded it back up and put it in her pocket. Dillon was so sweet and caring, a brilliant nurse. Hilde really wanted him as a friend because she was just someone she connected to instantly. Hilde smiled again and couldn't wait until later that night to thank Dillon and talk for a while. Hilde looked down at her love, sleeping like a rock again. Duo had a smile on his face though, probably dreaming of me! Hilde thought and giggled quietly. She lay her head back down and fell asleep again. Until tonight kept going through her mind, she had found a new caring, friendly, happy, and loving friend like Quatre but he was on the other side of the damn world with Trowa and Wufei.
The two slept hand in hand once again, dreaming of each other. Hilde was glad she didn't have to know what the meaning of being lonely was or even felt like. She didn't need to know either because she wasn't alone anymore, she never was and never will be.