A common misconception
I don't own Naruto, and for the record make no profit off this.
A Misconception is: a mistaken idea or view resulting from a misunderstanding of something
Enjoy.
Anger management is a waste of breath.
Just ask Itachi, he knows he's been there, right? I mean I am being forced to go into this now because I lashed out at someone. I always lash out at people! I always get impatient and curse at a person that doesn't mean I am an Anger junky- I do not have an anger monkey on my back! That just means I am fucking impatient and hard to please, not that I am a fucking angry son of a bitch who's grumpy all the damn time and lets every little thing piss me off. Over all I'm a laid back kind of guy! Albeit a little suicidal but I'm fine.
No anger monkey is on my back, I don't have one, damn it.
Just to prove that not all people are angry I looked up a few facts on it and realize that it is a common misconception that befalls many people. I Hidan am part of this vast misconception and therefore have a right to be angry now and it's annoying.
Itachi if you were wondering is one of those withdrawn anger junkies. He's the type that will sit there quietly and instead of talking about what makes him loose his knockers he just sucks it all in and retains it. It can make you physically ill and it can make you sulk. That seems strange but have you seen the guy? He just gets mad and then his face goes completely blank and he goes and sits by himself in a corner sulking.
Then one day he'll just snap- BAM! Everyone is fucking afraid because Mr. Stoic face beat the shit out a few people for spilling his god damn tea, and it wasn't even on him it was on Kisame.
Now, I am stuck going to these pointless classes and trapped in this common misconception that I am an angry person simply because frustration comes to me when something really irritates me. I mean everyone had that one thing; and I just happen to like to complain using foul language, never said I was mad about it! Not to mention the most unlikely people are in this therapy group that is about to start, in oh I don't know Five minutes? When that stupid therapist wants to get her ass in here, that is.
So, let me list off the people in this class, first and foremost there is a boy in here named Shikamaru Nara. How in gods name did this lazy ass fucker get into Anger management you ask? Well people are surprising see. These guy's make you talk about the incident and how you could have fixed it and well, it's his turn to talk first today. There is a girl named Sakura Hanuro in here, her pink haired ass is funny. Then there is a rich kid, His name is Neji Hyuga, I've seen his family many times on the news. There is a red head who had never given his name out and the Therapist seems reluctant to say it without his permission. He came in with a half-strait jacket on the other day. There is a graying old man in the group who's name eludes me at the moment and a woman sitting her hands on her lap rather pleasant looking- that is until she bites your head off for saying anything to her that isn't nice or a direct question.
You see who I have to fucking sit with? These crazy sons of bitches make me look like a damn saint.
Lo and behold that damn cocky ass therapist entered the room her glasses perched on her nose in that annoying fashion sitting in her dark denim skirt hands folded over a clip board. She had graying brown hair and brown eyes, skin that looked too orange to be tan and well she was just fucking creepy. And here we are, welcome to hell people!
"So, Shikamaru" The lady said pushing her reading glasses further up her nose (I hate when she does that!) And so I make a face at her. She seems to hate me too because she glared at me before continuing.
"Tell us what has happened to you, how did you end up joining us?" (Annoying right?)
"…Well…" The kid paused making a strange hand gesture before continuing, "I was with a friend of mine, Naruto Uzumaki" The therapist kind of sighed suddenly her brown eyes locking on him. She totally had the hot's for the kid.
"..And we were sitting eating at a Ramen stand. I don't know what came over me but something he said about this girl at school made me on edge. I think that's what made me hit the poor old woman in the first place," He paused thinking over his words like he always did
"But she shouldn't have been so rude to Naruto. He was just offering to help her into the chair next to me and I kind of lost it when she said he wasn't good enough for it." His bored voice and contorted face made for good stories when I get back to that damn house I am being forced to live in. (Alright I admit I like the fuckers that live there, they aren't that bad)
Everyone in the room was gaping while I tried to stifle giggles. This shit was funny and at the same time horrible.
"Wait, wait, Shikamaru..." A boy said next to him his red hair and mono-toned voice worse then the Nara kids. "I thought you were a kind of laid back guy, you never seemed to be that snappy in school when I saw you. In fact it was kind of unnerving how calm you were." Everyone seemed to quiet at this and I just couldn't control myself. I started chucking and earned a sharp glare from miss-bitch while she was listening.
"It's a common misconception to believe that the quiet kid in class is always the nicest and weakest." There was a pause in my thoughts as I stared at him and fuck me I had to say something.
"Yeah, kind of like it's a common-fucking- misconception to assume just because someone got frustrated over something they've been working at for five hours and not getting anywhere that since they are cussing there god damn minds out they have anger problems. Saying Fuck, and shit and damn have nothing to fucking do with being angry." I huff crossing my arms glaring at the ground.
"You're right, but you do have a problem, Hidan can't you admit that?" The therapist sighed shaking her head scribbling notes.
"Fuck you lady! I don't have a problem with anyone; the police have a problem with me!" I snap at her and we have a mini-glare contest where as I ended up winning because the red-head started talking again. Not to mention the kid had a tattoo on his forehead.
'Love' I'm pretty sure that's what it said but the hell if I knew.
"I think I can sympathize with you on that one, Hidan." I blink at him, wow interesting. "Good I'm glad someone understands how fucked up the police can be." I grumbled sinking in my plastic chair a little.
Have I mentioned yet that this place is fucking freezing? I think they want to makes us into popsicles.
The lady cleared her throat and looked at Shikamaru with a smile, "So how did it make you feel when you hit the woman off the chair, Mr. Nara?" Oh formal now are you?!
"..It felt…I felt kind of good but it make me angrier that I did it..." He sighed leaning forward in his chair hands folded into one another elbows on his knees. I could have sworn I saw the red head slip a hand behind him and dare I say rub his back? Are these two gay for each other? I felt sick looking at them, looking away to stare at the pink haired fury who was staring intently at her hands, nervously.
The brown haired woman, whose name I can read off the tag on her shirt, and it says 'Ms. Hawthorn' in bold letters. Mind you that's a weird fucking name to have around here.
"So, Sakura…" She cleared her throat and I jumped in before she could continue she had this weird knack for making people feel uncomfortable.
"What the fuck did you do to get into this here group?" I ask before the Therapist could embarrass her with some bullshit. She giggled at me and I almost threw up- the blush on her face wasn't hard to miss.
Mind you I wasn't happy about being here but you make some weird fucking friends when you are a sarcastic bastard like me- and oh if you could see the look this stupid bitch was giving me.
"Well I um…punched my manager because me hit on me.." She cleared her throat shifting more, "And then while I was walking home I yelled at a cop who said hello to me." She blushed harder ducking her head.
Well, a compulsive anger junkie.
It went on like this for another twenty minutes people just telling there problems and when it came to me I just said it like it was- the god damn police.
I swear if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here! I wouldn't be living in this place, I mean I know I curse a lot who the fuck wouldn't? I was working on trying to figure out that god damn puzzle for ever and when I was finally getting somewhere some little punk thought it would be funny to ruin my work? Not only had I started over without incident I started playing with clay to get rid of bad energy.
Then the son of a bitch came back and screwed up the puzzle again- I couldn't help myself I lost it and cursed the shit out of that little punk and his friends. I'm telling you they aren't coming near out house any time soon.
When the session finally ended she cleared her throat yet again (God damn I am going to cut it open if she does it again) And stood up holding her clip board looking at all of us with a small smile.
"Well, remember if you ever get angry you take the steps to calm yourself down using either Relaxation, problem solving to get your mind off it, cognitive reconstruction, better communicate with your family and friends and voice your irritants think of it in a humorous way if you can, and remember breathe deep breaths. You don't have to be angry if you don't want to be." She nodded to us, "You are dismissed for today."
I could of sworn I felt the room become lighter when she left everyone heaving a sigh of relief, I suppose I am not the only one in the group who thinks this is fucking ridiculous.
"Hey, Hidan…" That was that Nara kids voice. I look at him as I am getting up pausing to stare at him. "What?" I grunt narrowing my eyes, these punks…
"Want to come eat lunch with us? The group was going to go out…" I stare at him like he's grown a second head, and for a while I just stare shaking my head.
"Naw, fuck man thanks for the offer but I don't want to run the risk of meeting up with that homicidal maniac of a woman." I shake my head more as he stares at me.
"Who, my mom?" He grinned at me and stood up with the red head in toe. "..She won't hurt yah trust me." I don't believe him.
"Yeah Hidan!" That was Sakura's voice. I had a feeling I wasn't getting out of this.
"Come on it will be fun! Just the seven of us!" The old man grunted behind me and I glared.
"A bunch of kids and me don't make for good conversation, I'm out."
"Okay Six…" She grabbed hold of Neji's arm then the red heads with conviction. "Come on Gaara, Neji it'll be great! We could use a little time with our angry friends." The poor Hyuga's eye twitched a few times and he closed them both to calm his mind down.
"There is no way to avoid it…" He agreed the pansy.
"No, Sorry I have to go you five have a good time. Fucking Kakuzu would kill me if I went out today. You don't understand see my friend he'll fucking be-head me if I don't do what I promised I would." There was a pause and the four fuckers kind of stared at me oddly aside form Gaara (HA! Finally I know the bitch's name!) he was giving me a stony expression that looked a lot like Sasori's when the whiney blonde was being well, Whiney.
Sakura broke the silence between them by snickering letting loose the two boy's arms to lean forward and kiss my cheek. She did this every time it was time to go, she kissed everyone's face including the old man and the woman, it was her way of saying good bye I suppose but still it grossed me out.
"Alright Hidan don't die! We'd all like to see you next time!" She waved a hand and grabbed there arms again steering them away. She was the least angry out of the seven of us I swear it.
She was quiet and kind of shy about her problem and she was nice most of the time. But fuck when she was pissed watch out! I saw her deck a guy once for looking at her wrong (And she wonders why she's in this class!) The Gaara kid grabs the Nara boy's hand and they walkout like this the Nara kid digging into his pockets until he found a pack of cigarettes.
Stinky habit.
Fuck! I'm late, Kakuzu is going to kill me! Cursing at myself I turn and take off out of the room down the hallway passing them up as I turn and am out the door in seconds. There he was standing against the car staring at numbers on a paper.
"Oi, Kakuzu!" I yelled making a face, "Lets fucking go already!" I snap at him as he looked up.
"You're the late one, dip shit." His deep voice says to me as he gets into the car and I join him.
A misconception is that Itachi is Mr. Perfect; it's a misconception that I am some anger junky and it's a very common misconception apparently when people believe the quiet one in class is always the nicest and calmest one. One Shikamaru Nara proves that.
