Tying Loose Ends - Another *Bad* Fanfic by Miwa Satoshi

A few things before I start. I don't generally write fiction - the vast majority of my published work lies squarely in non-fiction, as I run an extensive anime reviews site. None of this is intended to infringe upon the rights of the original creators of the works I pay homage to - in fact, this is simply for my own benefit as well as that of the people who might actually enjoy this sort of stuff.

I'm not writing this to express political opinion or "the way things ought to be" (alright, maybe a bit of the latter) - but I'm just writing this for fun. When, when you get down to it, is the reason fanfiction exists, right?

This work is set after the events of Marmalade Boy as shown on television (as opposed to the manga universe, in which the whole New York season never occurred) - after the marriage of Namura Shin'ichi and Akizuki Meiko, and before the marriage of Matsuura Yuu and Koishikawa Miki, following the entirely non-canon experiences of one Miwa Satoshi. Let's face it, two characters really got screwed at the end of the Marmalade Boy TV series. Miwa was one. You'll meet the other soon enough.

I'll also let it be known that there are no character deaths, and (hopefully) no Mary Sues. (I'm trying to keep an eye out, please send R&R.)

I hope you enjoy this, but remember that it's Namura Meiko-san who is the professional writer, and not me.

Sincerely,

Miwa Satoshi

Written June 15, 2002, posted to http://www.livejournal.com/users/miwasatoshi

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Prologue - July 1995

"So it's settled then?" Matsuura Yuu looked a bit relieved as he asked the question at hand, sitting over a cup of coffee at a table in a family restaurant somewhere in Tokyo.

"All the transfer papers are set, the flights are booked, all I have to do is finish packing and move into my dorm once I get there." Miwa Satoshi, once student body president of Toryo High School, but now an architecture major in college, sat back in his seat, relaxed as usual.

Yuu gave a worried look. "But America? New York, even? Are you sure, even after all Miki and I went through there?"

Miwa chuckled a bit. "It did turn out for the best, though, didn't it?"

"Well, yes, but still ... between Jinny, Bill, all those folks, who knows what could've happened?" Yuu frowned a bit, but Miwa just shook his head.

"All the apologies were made, and everything's okay now, right?"

"Well, yeah ... let bygones be bygones."

Yuu thought for a moment.

"And what does your father think?"

Miwa snorted. "Since when did I care about what that philandering jerk thinks, anyway?" He rolled his eyes in mild disgust.

"Oh, tell me how you really feel, man." Yuu cynically replied, and they both laughed a bit at that. "Okay, forget about Yoshimitsu. Are YOU okay with this?

"You're not just sore over Nacch- ... " Yuu caught himself. "... Namura-sensei marrying Meiko?"

Miwa shook his head. "Akizuki - well I can't call her that anymore ... 'Mrs. Namura' has made her choice. I can't change that, and even if I could, I don't have the right to." *Especially not after what happened*, he added silently in his mind.

"And, hey, those American girls have been waiting for a guy like me to come along, anyway." Miwa grinned, and Yuu simply laughed.

"Now that's the Miwa Satoshi I know."

"But remember, I'm 'dangerous'." Miwa winked.

"Oh, don't go there!"

Yuu and Miwa laughed, startling their waitress, who had just comed by to refill their drinks. After she topped off Yuu's coffee and moved on, Yuu then pulled something out of his bag. A note of some sort, no, a page out of a notebook.

"I'm not letting you go blind into New York in any case. Here's the contact information for a few of those people I've talked about so much - they really aren't bad people, and they'll help you get started with knowing where you are - New York's as confusing as Tokyo to a foreigner, so be careful."

"As if I didn't know that ... man, you're being clingy, Yuu."

"Miwa Satoshi, I would not forgive myself if I didn't prepare you for this trip. Regardless of blood, you are still my brother." Yuu looked serious, and Miwa had to avert his eyes.

"Okay, you really are worrying me now!" Another laugh. "But I'll sit through this lecture for yours and Miki's sake. Speaking of which ... how is Miki?"

Yuu smiled inwardly. "Oh, she's fine. Now that she's settled down about realizing our parents wanted to hook us up all along ... you know how she can be."

"Yeah, flighty, whimsical, selfish, whiny ..." Miwa pretended to count off all of Miki's bad traits on his fingers.

"Hey, stop that!"

"... and completely, utterly in love with you, you lucky bastard."

"That's better."

Miwa grinned. "I wouldn't take her if you paid me! Then under his breath, "Especially since she only gets it on with family members..."

"Hey!" Yuu and Miwa laughed again at the obvious inside joke, though Yuu's laughter still seemed a bit more nervous than humored.

"So when's your flight scheduled to leave, man? I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't see you off, at least."

"Next Friday, it's a red-eye." Miwa pulled out his flight info and handed it to Yuu. "Here's the itinerary. JAL, naturally."

Yuu looked at the timetables on the itinerary. "Man, you're flying late. Narita to San Francisco, changing airlines to a domestic flight to JFK. That's nasty ... why didn't you get a nonstop? It's not like money's an issue."

Miwa chuckled ruefully. "Yoshimitsu has been a bit of a skinflint lately, what with how much he spends on his mistresses." He paused. "It'll give me more time to think about things, anyway." He stared into space for a while, waiting for Yuu to respond.

"Well, that probably would help. Just don't dwell too much on the past ... it's not really like you to be like that. You always have to be on your toes in America - the only thing you can depend on with Americans ..."

"Is that they're big, dumb, and stupid." Miwa stuck out his tongue.

Yuu brushed the comment aside. "Only in anime, Miwa. Only in anime." Yuu continued, "What I was saying was that you can only depend on them to be unpredictable, Miwa. The whole country's like that - you can't assume that Americans are all the same, just like you can't assume all Japanese to be the same."

"I know that ... but then, you've been there."

"Right. And don't mix your l's and r's, either, or they will laugh at your sorry self."

"My English isn't that bad, Yuu!"

"Of course not, but they'll expect it. And don't expect them to know a lick of Japanese, either - of course, I lucked out and hung out with a whole bunch of people who turned out to be closet anime fans, which is why I was able to converse with them so easily, but outside of colleges and Japanese communities, most people only really speak English, or sometimes Spanish."

Miwa goggled a bit, and protested, "Hey, why the lecture again?"

"Because when it comes to America, I, Matsuura Yuu, am your sempai."

"Oh, come off it! And can you give me my itinerary back?" Miwa reached across the table, but Yuu pulled it away out of his reach.

"Not until you pay for coffee!"

Miwa crossed his eyes a bit, a rarity for him. "No way, I told you I'm low on cash ..."

"Just kidding, man, I'm buying. But it was worth the look on your eyes!" Yuu tapped Miwa on the head with the flight information as he pulled out his money for the coffee. Then they talked some more as they walked out of the restaurant and headed back towards the Matsuura/Koishikawa residence.

******************************** ********************************

Part One

August 1995

"Take care of yourself while in America, okay?" Miki hugged Miwa, who had to put down his carry-ons to receive the hug.

"Hey, let me give nii-chan a hug too!" Suzu grabbed her cousin fiercely, and Miwa looked slightly peeved.

"C'mon guys, I can't be late for this flight!" Miwa hugged them back, then turned to Yuu. "Take good care of Miki - I know you will."

"I'll miss you all."

"Take care!" Yuu, Miki, and Suzu waved as Miwa grabbed his belongings and started heading towards the departure gate.

"I'll be back soon!" Miwa quickly brushed his hair out of his face, then waved back for a moment before disappearing around the jetway corridor. As he turned, for a moment he noticed Miki and Yuu holding hands. *They'll be fine ... but I wonder about me.*

For a split second, he almost wished Meiko had been there to say goodbye. He shrugged it off as he headed for the plane's passenger doors and moved towards his assigned seat.

*******************************

Suzu was still waving out the window as the jumbo jet Miwa was on started to pull out of the terminal. Yuu and Miki stood together for a moment, and Miki gave Yuu a little embrace.

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Yuu?"

"Yeah, it's not really my choice anyway, but I think it'll be good for him to get out of Tokyo for a while, especially with what happened with Meiko."

"Ohh ... that's right. He must feel so awful right now." Miki looked sad for a moment, and Yuu quickly kissed her on the forehead. He did not notice Suzu's sudden glare, which was just as well.

"If he's feeling half as bad as I think he is, he's not telling me. Which worries me a lot ... because he doesn't internalize almost anything else. But I think he's strong enough to get over her some day. Ginta and Arimi worked things out over us, didn't they?"

"Well, yeah." Miki looked up at Yuu. "Even Rokutanda got over Arimi ... he and Yayoi are so cute together."

"Yeah, that bald-headed fool got lucky after all." Miki stuck her tongue out at Yuu. "Oh, I'm not gonna steal her away, you silly thing." Then Yuu tapped her tongue with his finger before she could pull it back in. "Careful, you might catch flies with that!"

"Yuuuuuuu!" she exclaimed, in her customary tone of voice as she chased him back down the terminal and caught up with him, giggling all the way.

It wasn't until they got to their car that Miki stopped and asked, "Hey, Yuu, isn't Kitahara Anju-san in America right now?"

Yuu thought to himself briefly. "I totally forgot to tell Satoshi about that. Oh, well, I guess I can tell him once he's down there." Then he forgot about it and got in the car.

********************************

*So this is Manhattan, huh? Not too different from Ginza, really.* Miwa thought to himself as he sat in the back seat of a cab going down one of the numerous manmade canyons that made up New York's main borough.

Then the cab driver swerved around some traffic, and Miwa held tightly onto his seatbelt. "Oh veddy sorry about dat!" The turbaned cab driver turned around to face his passenger. "Columbia University, right?"

"Yes, yes, Columbia University. I will take you dere no time flat." Then "Ravi" or whatever his name sounded like swerved around yet another car, nearly tagging a UPS truck in the process.

*Okay, maybe just a little different from Ginza.* Miwa suppressed the urge to ungracefully lose his last airplane meal, but only just barely.

********************************

AFter he had regained his bearings from the traumatic taxi ride, Miwa checked into his dormitory and made whatever necessary preparations needed to be made. It was reasonably late into the day before he finally flopped onto his back on the bed in his dorm, which as of yet was unoccupied. Miwa had been told to expect his suitemates to show up some time within the next few days, and not to worry about too much.

He was surprised when the first roommate showed up just ten minutes after he landed on his bed.

"Hello, anyone here?"

Miwa peeked out the door of his room to find a slightly-built, handsome if somewhat nondescript American guy carrying a few suitcases.

*Might as well start trying out my English*, he thought. "Hello ... I am Satoshi Miwa, I assume you are going to be my roommate?"

The American looked a bit stunned for a moment, then recovered. He bowed, and Miwa almost forgot to bow in return.

Bill continued in Japanese. "Yuu told me all about you ... I had no idea you were going to school here in the States!"

Miwa replied, "Well, imagine my surprise. The first person I talked to here in New York was a cab driver who didn't even really speak English, much less Japanese!"

Bill laughed. "Oh, all the cabbies are like that."

"Yeah, and the cabs are smelly, and the drivers don't even dress like normal people - it's not like back home where they're all in suits-and- ties."

"Well, you Japanese have elevator girls, which, you've probably noticed by now, don't exist in the US."

"Do you even have elevator cleaners?"

They laughed at that, then Bill got his belongings under control with a bit of help from Miwa. Miwa was pretty sure that they would become pretty good friends from the outset ... Bill seemed to be a lot like Miwa in many ways, though that got Miwa to wondering about a few things.

"So ... Bill, why are you in a dormitory when Yuu says you live here in town?"

Bill looked a little cross. "Well, my parents got the bright idea to move to Hawaii the moment I started attending college. They said it'd be a good experience for me to get out on my own. Of course, I can't blame them for wanting to live their dreams ... but their timing could've been better. At least I can still see Jinny - she's going to another college here in the city."

*That's right. Yuu told me he was about as 'dangerous' as I am.* Miwa mentally noted.

"That's good. At least you have a girlfriend and both parents ... I'm glad to be as far away from my *father* as possible." Miwa just about spat out the word.

Bill looked a bit worried. "Well that's not the healthiest attitude to have ... but I guess there's a reason for it - Yuu didn't explain everything in detail about that, but I guess they have problems like that in Japan, too."

"Did Yuu ever tell you about *his* parents?"

"Weren't they ... poly or something?"

"Oh, so that's what they call it in America."

"Yeah, it's not so common ... well, outside of sci-fi fans, and even then that's rare."

"SF fans?" Miwa was a bit confused, as he hadn't really been exposed to as many literature fans as he had seen animation fans back in Japan, and even then, he had never really traversed those circles.

"Oh, Robert Heinlein advocated relationships like that ... you'll have to read his work someday, it's sort of hard to explain off-hand."

"Ahh...is that so..."

By the time Miwa and Bill went to their separate beds, dawn was creeping over the city, and Miwa was relieved that he had already found someone to talk to, so soon in his stay in New York.

**************************

Two more suitemates arrived within the week: Vincent "never-call-me- Vinnie" De Marco, a swarthy, well-built, but decidedly un-macho Italian guy with a thick Jersey accent (which translated poorly to his attempts at Japanese), and Carver White, a black from Tennessee who always had his head buried in a book, which surprised Miwa a bit because for the way he dressed and looked, he looked more like the athletic type. *Unpredictable, indeed, Yuu,* Miwa mused as he passed Carver and today's book, Orwell's _1984_, on the couch.

It wasn't going to be long until classes began, and between buying textbooks and reviewing schedules, Miwa found a bit of time to give Yuu a call.

"Hey, Yuu, it's Satoshi."

"Man, good to hear from you. Everything going well?"

"Yeah, you would not believe who my roommate is - Bill Matheson."

"You're kidding! Well, I knew you two would hook up together someday! *kiss*"

"Gah! Idiot! He's with Jinny, you know."

"I still can't believe that, as stuck as she was on me. Hope she's faithful and all... anyway, things are well here, though for some reason Suzu's been coming over lately, I'm starting to wish you hadn't told her when you were leaving."

"Couldn't be helped, she's my cousin."

"Yeah, but I think she and Kei are up to something again. They should just stick to music and modeling, I swear, Satoshi."

"And I bet Miki is yelling your ear off about it."

"Actually, no, for once she isn't blaming me for anything." Yuu's voice softened into a tone Miwa was unaccustomed to hearing. "I dunno, bro, I think she's finally got it in her head that I wouldn't leave her. Never. Not even if a goddess asked me to."

"Wishful thinking, man. Your girl's a flake. Sweet and cute, but a flake." Miwa simply had to tease Yuu about his girlfriend's seeming lack of faith, expecting a defensive comment, but Yuu didn't take the bait this time.

"Yeah she's silly, but she's mine ..." There was a slight pause, and Miwa only barely heard what came next.

"Miki, what are you doing here- Miki? Why are you crying?"

Miwa heard Miki faintly over the headpiece. "That was ... so sweet, Yuu. The sweetest thing I've ever heard." He heard them start kissing, and Miwa felt a bit jealous ... and a bit hurt, though through no fault of theirs.

"I guess I'd better leave you two alone, Yuu." Miwa said.

"Hey, Satoshi ... give us a call again sometime, keep us caught up on things."

"Okay, be well."

"The same to you, bro."

Miwa felt a tinge of pain as he hung up the receiver, thinking of Meiko momentarily. *I'll bet she and Shin'ichi are like that.* Then he dismissed those thoughts clean out of his head, and started perusing the syllabi for his architectural courses.

It was going to be a busy semester, he figured. Of course, Miwa couldn't know the half of it.

*****************************

September 1995

Miwa came back one night from class to sounds and sights that seemed vaguely familiar. Whatever was flickering on the television screen was most definitely not what stood for being normal in an American dormitory. For one, it wasn't porn. But rather...

~Tomaranai ... mirai o ... mezashite ....~

The unmistakable sound and sight of Japanese animation flooded the room, as Bill, Vince, and to Miwa's surprise, Jinny, sat, entranced. Then Bill turned to the door and greeted Miwa.

"Oh, hey, you're just in time. I asked Yuu to tape this for me, and we just got it in the mail a few days ago." Bill looked a bit *too* gleeful.

"Umm..." Miwa watched as the opening sequence played on the screen, featuring giant robots and cute girls with swords. "I think I saw Suzu reading the manga for this ... it's a girl's title, isn't it?"

Vince turned to face Miwa, "Man, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen ... and Fuu is so cool!" Even in the darkness of the room, Miwa could almost *feel* Vince blush, which made him uneasy.

Jinny piped in, "I kinda like the blue-haired girl myself."

Bill then asked, "Hey, this doesn't have any subtitles ... do you mind doing a bit of off-the-cuff translation for Vince? My Japanese is okay, but not THAT good."

Miwa laughed. "And my English IS?"

"Well, you know what I mean."

"Okay, whatever."

After the episode ended, Miwa was convinced that his American friends were utterly insane. *This RE-A-SU isn't that bad, a bit silly, but not bad. If Miki had ever played those dragon ... dungeon ... role-playing games, she'd love this thing.* He thought. *I guess it's better than being stuck with porn.*

"Hey, Miwa-san, you might find this interesting." Bill walked over, hands in his pockets, while Miwa turned to face him.

"What is it?" Bill pulled out a flier from his right pocket and handed it to Miwa.

"There's a Japanese student association on campus, I'm surprised you haven't heard about it." Miwa looked at the flier and shook her head.

"No, actually, I've been sorta avoiding it ... I guess I've been trying to do the whole cultural immersion thing."

"Well ... I actually attended, and I got to talking with some of the people there. You might get along with them."

"Oh, okay ..."

"Well, their meetings are at this time..." Bill pointed out the schedules, and Miwa decided to humor his friend and actually attend just one of the meetings. After all, it couldn't hurt.

********************************

What surprised Miwa was just how out-of-place he felt. He wasn't quite sure what to make of Japanese-Americans ... they were just like him, only ... not. Some of them didn't even speak Japanese ... it was like being in some twisted reality where Osaka-ben was considered "normal".

Except that he doubted anyone here spoke Osaka-ben.

As the meeting wore on, Miwa introduced himself briefly, then sat back, not being used to lining the walls like a decorative orchid. To make things worse, Bill had skipped out, ostensibly to go on a date with Jinny, leaving the hapless exchange student high and dry.

Miwa Satoshi was in that most dangerous of mindsets. He was bored.

*Geez, this is so boring. Do all Americans think to be Japanese is to be a robot? Give me a break.* He thought. It wasn't until he heard the giggling from the girl sitting next to him that he realized he'd thought that aloud. He froze and turned white.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't draw attention to you or anything." He heard the girl whisper to him as he turned to face the source of his danger. He was met by a pair of striking blue-gray eyes, set in a cute face, topped by short, bluish-gray hair. He noticed her slender figure, and her slightly sad smile.

"I am so sorry about that ..."

"Don't worry, I'm kinda bored too." The girl smiled. "But we should behave like 'proper' Japanese and sit quietly like mice, hmm?"

Miwa tried to stifle a laugh, and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the president of the club make his motion to close the meeting. He turned back to talk to the girl he'd noticed, and she was closing up a notebook she had been writing in. Or was it drawing? He looked over her shoulder to see, and sure enough, she had been drawing something ...

"Hey, no looking over my shoulder, that's not polite." The girl turned towards Miwa, hiding her work in her backpack as she did so.

"Wait ... can I look at your drawings?" He put his hands together. "Please?"

She laughed, as politely as a laugh can be made. "All this, and we haven't even introduced each other yet!"

"My goodness ..." Miwa brushed his hair out of his face. "Two months in America, and my politeness has completely left me. My name is Miwa Satoshi, majoring in Architecture. A pleasure to meet you." He bowed, then looked back up and notice the sudden look of surprise ... and recognition in the cute girl's face.

"Miwa ... Satoshi? Architecture? ... you're who I've been waiting for!" The girl smiled broadly. "Yuu told me all about you! My name is Kitahara Anju, and I haven't really decided my major yet." She bowed as well, while Miwa took in the information with a bit of shock.

"Um, you're talking about Matsuura Yuu, right?"

"What *other* Yuu could I be talking about? Wait, you mean he hasn't ..." She suddenly went pale, and a sad look misted over her eyes. "He hasn't told you about me?"

"Maybe in passing, but ... well, I'm afraid I don't think so ... you didn't go to Toryou Gakuen, did you? I think I would've remembered a face like yours..."

She blushed a bit, then went on. "Well, no. I've been in New York for a while now ... and I decided to finish out school here."

"Are you an exchange student as well?" She shook her head, and was about to say something, but then seemed to decide against it and change the subject.

"Well, not exactly ... anyway, how did you come to find out about the association?"

"My roommate Bill told me about it - he's this big anime fan, and..."

"You're not talking about Bill Matheson, are you?"

"Yeah ... hey, you know him too?"

"I do. He's a nice guy, isn't he?" She looked a bit sad, again, and Miwa wondered just what was going on.

"He's nice enough, I guess, though he was supposed to meet me here, and went out with Jinny instead."

"Oh, I see." Anju fidgeted a bit, and Miwa decided to drop the matter.

"Say, you want to go out for a cup of coffee some time?" Anju's eyes flashed for a moment as she looked up at Miwa's smile.

"Well, maybe not exactly coffee, but I guess we can go somewhere and get to know each other. That would be good."

Miwa gave a thumbs up. "All right, you've been here longer, show me the way."

"Now?"

"Sure, why not? Besides, you said you were waiting for me, and that, I think, begs some explanation."

"Okay, I'll do it."

*******************************

It was another busy, cool evening in Manhattan, and the two students found a cute little corner cafe. Miwa got a vanilla coffee, while Anju sat in front of a cup of warm milk and stared across the table at the handsome Miwa. She took the initiative and started asking questions first.

"Tell me about yourself ... I want to compare you to what I've been told about you." Anju smiled, and Miwa chuckled.

"That makes me wonder exactly what Yuu and Bill have been telling you!" Anju giggled. "Well ..." He put on the full schmooze effect. "I am charming, suave, charismatic, and I will take your heart away ... no, seriously!" He had to stop as Anju kept laughing, very cutely in his estimation. "What, I wasn't being too silly, was I?"

Anju caught her breath. "No, no, it's just that Yuu said you'd probably do something like that!" She grinned. "He was right about you, at least right there."

"Oh?"

"Yeah ... but, please, continue."

"Well, okay ... on to the boring details. I graduated from Toryou Gakuen, valedictorian, student body president, blah blah blah ..." Anju laughed again. "And, well, we don't need to know about my family, but I love my mother ..."

"Don't need to know about your family?" Anju interjected. "Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting, but I thought your father was a famous architect ... and since you're an architecture major ..."

"Well, if you need to know, he's a better architect than a father, and I'll leave it at that." Miwa tried not to be cross. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't like talking about him. Really."

"It's okay ... really. We all have things we don't like to talk about sometimes." Anju looked wistful. "Lots of things."

Miwa caught that thread of emotion, and he didn't want to dare follow it for fear of ... what? *Better to make a friend than ... well ... let's just talk, okay?*

"I guess so ..." Miwa suddenly exulted in triumph. "Which means it's your turn, since you brought it up."

Anju looked bemused. "Well, I walked into that one, didn't I?"

"Well ... there's really not a lot to know about me. I mean, I don't play any sports, I read a lot, and I draw, though it's never any good. Ahh, umm, and then there's that ..."

Miwa teased gently. "Oh, don't hold out on me now."

"No, really ... I'm here in the United States for a reason. You see, ever since I've been young, I've been ... on the sickly side."

"You look fine to me, Kitahara-san."

"Thanks, Miwa-san. But ... I'm really not well. That's why I'm drinking warm milk, and not coffee ... coffee's bad for my heart."

Miwa blinked. "Oh, I see. You said something about that earlier. That makes sense."

Anju continued. "As you could probably tell, I never really had a normal childhood. Always waiting for the doctor to say I was okay, then for the donor list ... moving to America. It's not been easy, but it's just something you have to do, I guess."

"Something you have to do..." Miwa pondered for a while. "Yeah, living is like that."

Anju looked at Miwa with a puzzled expression on her face. "What do you mean by that?"

"I was actually thinking about my mother. She hasn't had an easy life at all - you see, though my family's rich, in many ways, it's very poor. My father ..." His throat caught for a moment. "...well, he doesn't believe that any one woman is good enough for him.

I don't think he really knows how to love, and my mother has paid for it every day since I was born."

There was a brief, awkward silence before Anju continued the conversation.

"Drink some coffee, Miwa-san."

"Right ... I'm getting too heavy ... I'm sorry." Miwa smiled weakly. "I'm afraid this isn't really like me."

"Are you sure?" That question brought a puzzled look to Miwa's face and a wrinkle to his brow.

"What do you mean?"

"Ummm ... I have to admit Yuu really has told me a lot about you, Miwa-san. And ... let's just say he is special to me." Anju looked wistful. "Very special to me ... and I always listen to what he has to say." Anju coughed for a moment, and took a sip of her milk. She took a moment to continue. "But I want to hear your experiences from your own mouth ...

I want to know who you are, Miwa Satoshi." She looked intently into his eyes, and for a rare moment, he was actually a bit afraid.

"Okay, this IS getting heavy, Kitahara-san."

"Are you afraid of being serious?" Anju asked earnestly.

"Well, I'm trying to spill my guts out to a complete stranger who seems to know more about me than I supposedly do, who knows all my friends, who has some sort of "special" bond with the only guy I'm willing to call my brother. Yes, I'm intimidated!" Miwa flushed with a mix of exasperation and embarrassment, and Anju sighed in relief.

"Okay, I will admit this. I am, apparently, one of the numerous hapless fair maidens in the world who have had the distinct pleasure of being in love with 'your brother'." Anju smiled wistfully. "Ever since sixth grade, too ... but he forgot all about me the day he met Koishikawa Miki, and it couldn't have happened to a nicer girl." Then she halted, trying to wipe a tear from her eye.

Miwa looked down as well. "But you can't help but wonder how it would've been if you were the one to spend the rest of your life with him ... right?"

Anju looked up at him. "It can't be helped. But I love him, which is why I let him go."

"I wish I were half that brave, Kitahara-san. Do you know what I did when I realized that my first love was tied to another?" Miwa tried to keep calm as he related his bitter thoughts. "I tried to change her mind. I tried to tell Meiko that she was better off with me than with Namura- sensei.

Yes, Akizuki Meiko, who is now Namura Meiko. A girl, beautiful, kind, but cold. She had loved her teacher for years, yet she gave me a slight hope of being with her. And I didn't have the good sense to just walk away before she ran back to his side. Instead, I vented my anger at Namura ... and yes, I hate myself for it."

Tears of cold rage slipped down Miwa's cheeks, despite the efforts of his rational mind to control them. He grabbed his coffee cup to drink ... and put it down to avoid spilling it. And then Miwa calmed down, and wiped his face off with a napkin, blushing a bit in embarrassment.

"Everyone hates themselves somethimes, Miwa-san. I sometimes wished my heart would simply stop, so that my parents could live on and stop worrying about me, and so Yuu would never have to worry about whether being with Miki made me sad."

"Don't say that, Kitahara-san! That's not fair!"

"But life isn't fair."

"Point taken."

Another awkward silence ensued, and Miwa calmly took a sip of his coffee, which was starting to run pretty low. For a moment, the two of them simply watched the cars roll by and the people go down the ever-wakened streets of New York.

Then Miwa asked, earnestly, "Do you really feel happy, being second to Miki?" Anju turned to Miwa, and simply shook her head.

"In all fairness, she's a sweetheart. I can't compete with her - they've already lived together for years now, so getting married wouldn't change things too much. But I wanted to be with him.

Later, I met Bill, and fell for him, too, but he was already in love with Jinny, and when she realized he wasn't gay, that was that. End of story.

And I blamed a lot of things. I blamed my parents for not letting stay near Yuu, myself for not being honest enough with Yuu or Bill, even my heart for being borrowed.

And I still hurt."

Miwa stirred his spoon absent-mindedly in the remnants of his coffee. "I know how that is ... I made the mistake of acting on that hurt before thinking about it ... it was only once, but when I heard how Namura-sensei had been stringing along both Meiko and Ryouko-sensei ... I had no choice."

Anju interjected. "Yeah, Yuu told me about that too."

Miwa looked pained and Anju tried to console him. "No, Miwa-san, I don't blame you. I don't think even Namura blames you now. Well, there's certainly no way I can know that, but ... I do already know that you are a lot like my beloved Yuu in so many ways. Yet different."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how I feel. Being second, and all."

Miwa straightened in his seat. "Well, yeah, and it stinks to high heaven!" He stuck his tongue out, and Anju laughed again. "I don't know if I can forgive myself for lashing out at Namura and Meiko, though ... I mean, I'm still getting over Meiko now, even though she's been married for a few months - though her mind she married him a long time ago."

"You will, someday. Never completely, unless you go senile or something." And then Miwa crossed his eyes and pretended to be insane, making Anju laugh once more.

Then Miwa grew serious again, though not dark. "My ... father. He likes to say that hard times in life are meant to "strengthen your character". I always hated that saying, growing up..."

Anju just smiled and stifled a bit of a laugh. "What?" Miwa asked.

"Oh, I think you're quite a "character", already, Miwa Satoshi-san." And both of them smiled a bit.

"Thanks ... I have to admit, I'm not used to being this open with myself to anyone. It feels rather strange, but I feel very comfortable with you, like I've known you for a long time."

"That only makes sense, Miwa-san. Yuu has been a part of me since I was a child ... and Yuu is like a brother to you."

"So what, with that logic, that would make me, what, your stepbrother?" Anju and Miwa laughed. "You know, if I were a Matsuura, that'd be grounds for marriage!"

"Oh, Miwa-san!"

***********************************

They laughed some more, then began to talk about less and less serious things as the night wore on. About an hour and a half later, they started heading back to the dorms, which they arrived at without incident.

As Miwa led Anju to her room, he thought more and more about her gentle laugh, her wistful smile, and her beautiful eyes. But even more than that, he thought about what a good friend she could be, and about the fun times that promised to lie ahead. Maybe he wasn't Yuu, but he knew a good time when he saw one, and he wasn't going to let this slip by if he could help it.

"Well, I guess this is good night, then." Anju turned around to face Miwa as she stood in front of her door.

"Okay, well, it's been fun ... we should do this more often."

"The angst-ridden heart-to-hearts?" She teased.

"No, just hanging out together!" Miwa grinned as Anju rolled her eyes. "Hey, look, let's trade numbers ... I'm at this dorm ..." He fumbled around for a pen and paper, neither of which he had. Thankfully, Anju had her notebook, and she ripped a page out of it, neatly.

"Oh, good, here we go." They traded half-sheets with phone numbers and dorm numbers (even though Miwa only needed to memorize directions to find Anju's place), and he turned back to face her as she started to turn the key.

"Well, good night, then, Kitahara-san."

"Good night, Miwa ... no, good night, Satoshi. You can call me Anju, you know - I think I'm even getting used to being called "Angie" by my roommates, though that feels really strange."

"I think I'll stick with Anju then. I'm almost afraid to see what nicknames foreigners can come up with for my name." They both laughed again, and bade each other good night.

Before she slipped into the door, she turned one last time towards Miwa, who was already starting to head back to his dorm. "Hey, Satoshi!"

"Yes?"

"Here!"

He turned just in time to catch a foil-wrapped teardrop-shaped candy. "My roommates keep these out front. Don't ever say I didn't give you a "Kiss" before leaving! Good night!" Miwa noticed Anju's silly grin as she shut the door, then looked down at the Hershey's Kiss in his hand.

As he walked off, he mused to himself, "Now, wouldn't it be funny if I ended up with her after all ... nah, that could never happen." He smiled as he popped the chocolate in his mouth and started humming tunelessly in the halls of the dorm.

"Naw, can't be."

************************************* *************************************

End Part One

To Be Continued