It didn't take much for Starlight's doubts to resurface. At first, it was the little things, like Rainbow's obvious distrust and Fluttershy's involuntary squeaks of fear. In less than a week, it had become glaringly apparent that Twilight Sparkle's precious friends had no place for their "reformed" opponent. Oh, sure, they put a lot of effort into faking friendship with Starlight Glimmer, but the fact remained that she wasn't one of them. She couldn't participate in their weekly pet play dates. Picnics easily spiraled into awkwardness; it wasn't as easy to split a dozen cupcakes between seven ponies. Whoever picked up the cupcakes had to bring an extra box with Starlight's share - not the best way to make somepony feel included.
And don't get me started on the inside jokes, Starlight thought with a frown. What in the hay is so funny about Rainbow Dash and stopping winter? Honestly, I'll never be able to compete with years of shared experience.
The unicorn's inner pity party had been running through her mind all day, attempting to justify - to stamp out - the guilt she felt. Every so often, her thoughts interrupted themselves with a tiny cry of Starlight! They trusted you! They actually GAVE you the benefit of the doubt and agreed not to put you under any preventative spells! But she forced down her discomfort. They're fools. They're fools to think that they could hold me back again. They're fools to think their lie of friendship could... Could actually...
A tear fell from Starlight Glimmer's downcast eyes. She jerked back and her ears flicked up in alarm. She stole a quick glance at the ponies around her. Had anypony seen that? She ducked behind a market stall out of habit. Months of following Twilight Sparkle still hadn't worn off. Luckily, everypony seemed to be minding their own business. Applejack, overseeing her produce stand, no longer felt the need to uneasily track Starlight whenever she went by. Lyra and... Bonbon, was it? They were lost in their own little world. That klutzy grey pegasus didn't seem to be looking at anything... The nervous unicorn breathed a sigh of relief. Safe.
What's wrong with me? It's nothing I haven't done before, Starlight Glimmer thought as she checked her saddlebags again. I'm not even going to use it, not necessarily. It's just a precaution.
Steeling herself, the unicorn hurried into her Ponyville home. She rushed past her roommate, Golden Harvest, with a quick grin and was soon in her half-unpacked room, door locked behind her. Shuttering her windows, Starlight looked around for a suitable place to hide the parchment. Under the floorboards? No, that's a terrible spot. In the wall? Ugh, no. Think, Starlight, where's the best place to hide a time-travel spell?
Biting her lip, Starlight Glimmer remembered a breathing exercise Twilight had shown her. She touched a hoof to her chest, inhaled, and then held the hoof out in front of her as she breathed out. It's fine. Everything's fine. I just need to clear my mind. Tucking Starswirl's altered spell back into the saddlebag, the pony sat down on her dusty floor and tried to let her mind go blank. I should have time for this, she mused. Princess Celestia doesn't arrive until this afternoon and I've already done my part to prepare.
She closed her eyes and commanded herself to think of absolutely nothing. Instead, the unicorn was greeted with a cascade of guilt-inducing memories once more. Suddenly, she saw herself ducking under the cover of the Everfree forest again. It was as though she relived her choice to go back in time, make a copy of the spell she used to stop Rainbow Dash's first rainboom, and bring that copy into the present. Starswirl the Bearded's original spell had been easy enough to remember, but her altered version's layer of complexity had been oh-so-tricky to get right. So Starlight smoothed the wrinkle of doubt that had formed in her mind when the powerful parchment was drawn into the time vortex by getting the copy. Just in case things don't work out, the pensive pony told herself for the millionth time. Just in case it is too late to try friendship again.
Some minutes later, when Starlight was about to drift off to sleep, the idea came to her. Not noticing the unusual faint glow from her cutie mark, she began the spell immediately. A humming sound filled the room and stray papers fluttered in the magical breeze. However, this stopped about as soon as it began. All at once, the papers went still and – announcing itself with a sharp pop noise – a hole opened in the air next to the unicorn. As a test, she poked her saddlebags into the hole and closed it. Then she slashed her horn across the area where the hole had been, prompting it to reappear. Sure enough, the saddlebag was safely inside. Satisfied with her work, Starlight Glimmer removed her bags, placed her time-travel spell into its nook, and sealed it in. Not one second too soon; before the hole had completely shut, a loud KNOCK KNOCK-KNOCK KNOCK reverberated up to her room. "Hel-looo," an excited voice squeaked from outside. Starlight's roommate could be heard answering the door. "Oh, hey Pinkie," came Golden Harvest's greeting. "Is Starlight home? I -" Pinkie Pie launched into a rapid-fire stream of words as the pony in question rushed about her room, straightening everything in sight. "Whoa there," she heard her roommate chuckle, cutting off Pinkie's jabbering. "So what you're saying is that you wanted to visit her? That's sweet," Golden Harvest continued. "Starlight's right upstairs, honey."
One overjoyed squeal later, Pinkie Pie had burst through her friend's door and nearly sped right out the window. Luckily, Starlight used her magic to catch hold of Pinkie before she could fall. I swear, this pony has a dose of chaos magic in her. Didn't I lock that door? Hm, the unicorn wondered, smiling at her visitor and gently setting her down. It's astounding, how much the others dismiss as 'just being Pinkie.'
"Hi, Starlight! I brought you something! It's my super-duper-deluxe-extra-cinnamon-double-cranberry-mocha tart supreme! A special new recipe especially for my favorite no-longer-revenge-crazy unicorn," Pinkie exclaimed, nudging the little container whose strap she had slung over her neck.
"Aw, Pinkie. You didn't have to -" midsentence, Starlight Glimmer remembered note #34 from her Flashcards of Friendship. Saying 'hello, hi, and other salutations' is considered friendly! "Um. Hello, I mean. Hi," the unicorn managed, face-hoofing herself internally. Fortunately, Pinkie didn't miss a beat; she gave a goofy grin and responded: "Salutations!" Smirking a little, Starlight offered another: "Greetings."
"Hola," came Pinkie's borderline giggle-filled reply.
"Hey there," Starlight said with a smile.
"Howdy-doo," the pink pony drawled in her best Applejack impression, crossing her front legs and smugly tilting her chin upwards. Her friend couldn't help but snicker. No longer fighting the giggles, Starlight shot back with a laughter-sprinkled "Bonjour!"
Through a cacophony of hee-hee's and guffaws, Pinkie answered with "Happy Tuesday!"
Huh? "Pinkie Pie, today's Thursday," the unicorn said in confusion. Suddenly, Pinkie looked ashamed. "Oh, ummm… Sorry, Starlight, that was -"
Recognizing the other pony's look, Starlight Glimmer finished the sentence: "- an inside joke?"
"Yeah," said Pinkie Pie, avoiding her friend's gaze. Predictably, she perked up after no less than two seconds and began spouting a cheery explanation: "It's just that you remind me so much of Twilight and normally I wouldn't use that joke but I felt so close to you, Starlight, like I'd known you for years and years and…"
Is that all I am to them, Starlight wondered grimly, a discount Twilight Sparkle? Even when we're not rivals, that irritating alicorn outshines me. They're… They're only doing this because they're afraid of my power. Noticing that Pinkie had gone silent, Starlight Glimmer smiled and nodded reassuringly. She knew that Pinkie Pie could see right through a fake smile, but she didn't care. Anything to keep the conversation moving away from puddle of sadness welling up within her.
(A/N) I don't mean for this to be a very sad story. Like the summary says, it's supposed to be about Starlight Glimmer finding her place in the world. Anyhow, here's where you come in: I need someone's pony OC in order to continue the story. The OC will be a special (and probably platonic) friend of Starlight's and will be instrumental in the chapters to come. If you are so inclined, please include your pony's personality and back-story in a review OR private message.