This the first part to my story and the first fanfic i have writted and although the title will not be clear at first it will make sense as the story develops, the first chapter starts with alice in the asyulm, again the plot of the story will unravel as i develop the story. i hope that you enjoy this chap let me know what you think :)

Alice P.O.V

Cold. So cold. That was the only thing that I seemed to register stuck in this little white room where I have been left, forgotten by the people that I used to think once cared for me and loved me. But no those days of happiness are long gone. The day I started having these visions was the day that I was destined to be here, locked away from the world and the life that I used to know, I can still hear them shouting those horrible names as I was led away. How could they do this to me? Didn't they even care? Abandon me and then take the one thing from me that would ever mean something.

I huddle my legs closer up into my chest as another wave of coldness sends a shiver over my body, and push the thoughts from my mind, I can't bear to think of that not now whilst the pain is still fresh, whilst it cuts through me and rips my heart into shreds. But it's so hard so very hard to forget, I was warned it would happen through my visions but it didn't stop me feeling the pain as they took my baby away from me, and put me in here, but I tried to forget, pretend it wasn't going to happen, pretend it didn't happen. My little baby girl, Renata I named her, she meant everything to me and I would have done anything for her, she was my world. It's been a year now but that doesn't stop me replaying that 1 day over and over in my head....

"Where are you going? I thought you said we were going to the park? " I asked in strained voice "mum the turning was back that way, renata look what mummy's got, it's your rabbit look renata" renata stopped crying for a moment to look at the rabbit, I breathed a sigh of relief till she grabbed it out of my hands and chucked it across the floor, and resumed her tantrum. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her it was like she was waiting for something, nothing I did would calm her down.

" mum are we nearly there renata is really not happy and we've been walking for ages" I was starting to get annoyed it was only meant to be a 2 minute work at the most but mum had decided to take us a different way.

"Yes Mary almost there now" mums voice was sad and detached I couldn't help thinking something was wrong.

"Its Alice mum you know I hate the name Mary" I had been born Mary but hated the name for as long as I could remember, so I took my middle name Alice instead. "Mum is something wrong"

My mum looked at me, tears glistening in her brown eyes, "im sorry Alice, were here now, im sorry"

I knew something was wrong my mum never cried, I looked around seeing no park and realising for the first time that we were in the middle of nowhere, no house, nothing apart from the one big white building, we were now standing in front of. I had been so distracted by calming Renata that hadn't even noticed the route that we had taken. The building loomed over me as I registered what I was seeing, the word asylum leapt into my mind and panic ripped through me.

"NO mum No I will not go there, mum please you promised me, you said you wouldn't do this please", the anger in my voice was frightening , tears welled and spilled as I screamed the words at my betraying mother.

"Im sorry I had no choice your visions had got out of hand, I can't bear it anymore, people are talking behind our back, you belong here with the rest of the freaks"

"I AM NOT A FREAK and renata what about her how you could do this to her she doesn't deserve to live here" I screamed.

"She isn't coming with you Alice, im taking her with me "

The words coming from my mother's mouth wouldn't register at first, but when they did they hit me as if I had been hit by a bus, and my world came crashing down and the screaming started. The last look of my precious baby was my mother taking her in her arms, as the men in white coats, dragged me to the floor and injected me with some kind of liquid. The last thing I felt was the pain of my heart shattering into tiny pieces knowing I would never hold or see my baby again and seeing the pain on renata's face as if she knew. The last thing I heard was Renata's screams of "mummy" continuous as the men held me. I shouted for Renata as the drugs kicked in and the darkness took me.

And thats where I have been held for this past year stuck in these four walls, in the darkness that has me reliving those lost few moment of my free life, reliving the time that my daughter was stolen from me by the people that were supposed to love me, shunned from society because something that I had no control over. Reliving the pain that shattered my heart in to a million pieces. Only to be pulled from the darkness by the visions that I despise but cannot stop, only to be dropped back into the darkness once the vision is over and relive the whole thing once again.

Tears start to slide down my dirty check, and my teeth chatter as the coldness falls around me. Its days like this that I wished they had just killed me, killed me and it would have all been over. The days of winter when the pain hurts the most and they don't care whether you freeze to death in your cell, this is worse than death, worse than anything I have ever felt.

My eyes begin to close as sleep closes in allowing me to forget darkness and go to the happy memories I have of my baby, and renata's smiling face swims into my subconscious mind, my beautiful renata the little smiling girl that I promise myself I will one day find, my little girl that I will never forget. I barely hear the footsteps that approach me and stop beside me, the voice in my ear that tells me not be afraid and that I'll be safe with him now, barely notice when I am swept into safe guarding arms that carry me away from the four walls that have been my prison cell for the past year. I barely notice as the blanket is put over me to stop me from getting cold. I barely notice the part of my brain that is telling me I need to be afraid. I barely notice because my subconscious mind is dragging me down into sleep and a darkness that I am not afraid to enter. My eyes close and the darkness takes me where a spin into a world that allows me to forget and to be with my baby girl once again.

so this is the end of the first chap i hope you enjoyed it :)