Have you ever had that dream? When you were falling in a pit of blackness that wasn't matter, when something, no nothing, could never pull you out? That was what dying felt like. Izumi Rei was sucked down a vacuum of compressed time, an endless rabbit hole with no outrageous junk.

All pain from the accident had vanished, leaving me with emptiness. Heck, I'd think I'll take the pain back. But I couldn't. Instead, I kept falling. It wasn't like the dream; when you hit rock bottom, you woke up drenched in sweat. No. When I hit rock bottom, or should I say, the troposphere of my personal hell, feeling returned to me like a rubber band.

I looked down. 2000 km to go. Now, 1500. My fall picked up pace, and I could no longer identify the masses of white whizzing past me. Before I'd even had time to hate life for the incredulity of making me go through dying twice, my fall stopped. The last image I had was of orange.

Beep.

Shut up.

Beep.

I SAID shut up.

Beep.

Blearily, I opened my eyes. Too bright. I closed them again. Then, with a rush of realization, I opened them again. I was alive. Alive and in a hospital that could be anywhere. As my eyes adjusted, I tested myself for injuries. None. Whoever had the misfortune of catching me had obviously been careful. So far so good. Then there was the matter of my falling for no apparent reason other than the crash. After you died, you just got judged and sent to Heaven or Hell, right? Well, apparently, that rule did not seem to apply to me. Life had other plans for its number 1 disciple.

By now, I'd established the annoying beeping as a heart monitor. I looked around the room. An IV was attached to the crook of my elbow. Wincing, I pulled it out. Even now, I could hear Hitomi screaming at me not to. 'YOU HAVE NO CERTIFIED MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE!' is an extract from one of her long rants. But I couldn't think of that now—it'd just depress me, not knowing where I was and all. It was then I noticed the odd quality of my hand.

The skin tone was right but…I couldn't place it. There was just something off. Something I had a feeling I wouldn't like. A sudden feeling of panic gripped me. Okay, calm down. You were fine when you were falling, and now, because of a measly skin problem (with my luck, it will be cancer), you are hyperventilating. So I took a few deep breaths, and looked at myself in the mirror of the adjoining bathroom. My first thought was on the clean facilities and convenience. My second thought was on the niceness of said hospital. And my third thought…

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I'd been cartoon-ified, every square inch of me. Not that the makeover wasn't welcome; I wasn't what you'd call eye candy. Especially with my freckles. I hated my freckles. However, that meant that I'm stuck here. Therefore the screaming. Wouldn't you scream too, if you could never tease your annoyingly adorable little brother again? That's what I thought.

Just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. Because my personal hell just walked in.

Not that I knew about it then. All I knew then was that a carrot had just visited my hospital room. And then he opened his mouth.

"You're finally awake…wimp."

A/N: Re-write because someone *cough demon-pixie cough* messed it up! Apologies to all who've stuck with it.

Parody Thingy:

Carrot: How long do you plan to call me this? Everyone knows who I am anyways.

Pie: Oh hush you meanikins. You shall be known by your name when your hair is long again. It was so pretty long…WHY DID YOU CUT IT? *emosob*

Demon-Pixie:…

Carrot:…

Rei: Hm…what was that word for it again…?

Pie: And you better become a Shinigami again so we IchiRuki fans can get our happy ending!

Carrot:…if you like IchiRuki so much then why did you decide to write an OC?

Demon-Pixie: Because we thought there were too many Mary-Sue ficlets out there.

Rei: This feeling…

Carrot: *leans closer* What?

Rei: ANNOYANCE!

All: leans away and cultivates mushrooms