No matter how much I try to forget, no matter how many weeks it has been...he's still here, in my mind.
And that's what all my songs are based on.
The band basicaly started because of him. He inspired me to take piano lessons.
So as I take the stage and hear the crowd chanting, "Evanescence!" I know that it's time to begin pouring out my life to them.
I'm so tired of being here,
Supressed by all my childish fears.
I always had fear that he'd leave me. And he did.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
'Cause your presence still lingers here,
And it won't leave me alone.
I feel him everywhere. In my nightmares, when I do stupid and dangerous things...
And these wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
The emotional wounds he left, the pain that is always present...it doesn't matter that it's been four months. I'll always live with it.
When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
I feel like that's him saying all that to me when I sing those lines.
But you still have all of me.
I am his love. That's whose love I am, not anyone else's.
You used to captivate me by your resignating light,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
He used to light up my life. But now I'm lost in everything he left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.
When he was here, my dreams were all about him and happy. But now they've turned into nightmares and he haunts them.
And these wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your tears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have all of me.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,
But though you're still with me.
He left, but I seems like his life is in my hands and I can't do anything with it.
I've been alone all along.
I've given up hope that he'll ever come back.
The band comes in and we finish it off with the chorus. The audience applauds, my diary entry of a song satisfying them.
As I leave the piano bench and go to get some water, Terry says, "Good job, Amy."
Amy. My stage name. It makes me feel like Hannah Montana, but that's what I have to do to keep everything under control.
John gives me a thumbs-up sign.
If only I could share the happiness with them.