Welcome to my new story: Black. Feel free to check out my other stories on my profile : )
Black
Chapter One:
White. White. That's all I ever see anymore, but I'm not complaining. White gives me a sense of comfort, calm and safety. I know that I'm behind these white padded walls, and I know that nothing can hurt me here. You might be asking is I'm crazy? Insane? Or looking for attention? Well all in all you'd be wrong. Except for the insane part. What would life be if you weren't a little Insane every once in a while? I'm in here for a few good reasons actually, but if you think I'm going to tell you, you'd be wrong. That'd ruin a perfectly good story in the making.
I'm basically a foster child, except that I'm 17 years old, my birthday was last month, October. So one more year to wait out in this stupid institution until I can sign myself out. Don't worry, I didn't go crazy or anything like killing one of my horrid 'parents.' I'm just not… stable. I've been flopping though different homes for as long as I can remember, it's all I've ever known. Until one really crazy family shipped me off to The London Mental Institution. That's right, I'm British. Some people find the accent cute, but if I could I'd trade off.
Excuse me for being so rude. My name is Ellie. Ellie Edwards. I'm short as fuck, barely five foot five. I'm not allowed a haircut at this place, so my locks fall in straight waves down my back, stopping above my butt. It's colored a pale blonde, almost white. It may scream weird, but we all have that certain thing that puts them at ease, no matter how weird it is. And for me it's the color white. I drown myself in it. I freak out if anything remotely has color on it and I'm somehow wearing it. It makes me dizzy.
My last family I had was months ago, the Roberts family. They treated me so nice, but when Billy, the youngest kid found me slicing my wrist in the bathroom he went screaming to his mom. That's only one of my dumb addictions. I admit it's dumb, but when you've only known pain and abuse for your whole life, you don't really have any other options to go to. Yes, the foster child system is as bad as you've heard about it. Except you occasionally get the nice family. I've only ever had one of those, and I had to go and blow it. Now I'm here and I'm content. I don't want to ever leave my safe haven. Nothing can harm me here.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror that's attached to the wall in my 'cell,' that's what it seems like. I recently got to have a mirror in my room, for my good behavior. The more you follow their directions and rules, the more privileges we got. Basically they treated us more like people. I've been on good behavior for a while now, I get trips outside, and they even let me have my piercing's back. I have my tongue and labret done. I also have my industrial, but they haven't given me that back. Probably since it's a bigger piercing. Not like it matters.
My reflection looks too pale, like my skin almost blends into my white patient scrubs. I don't deny that I'm pretty, because I've had countless boys, and sometimes girls tell me to. I'm not shy with my affection. I know I'm a flirt. Most times my families break me down until I'm nothing, so most times I don't even try. My last school labeled me as a whore? Hardly. It's not like I ever slept with a guy before, I still have my V-card. So they are highly mistaken. Maybe it's the blowjobs and making out that their talking about?
I laugh at my own sick jokes towards myself. My laugh isn't really pretty, its husky and torn sounding from months of barely talking. I only answer when spoken to, no one here has had an interest in being my friend. I'm solely in solitary. But the less people I have to hear complain the better. I am grateful for the silence. It somehow keeps me sane. As long as I keep up the good behavior the faster I can get leveled up some more. That's how I saw things.
The day was coming to a close, as I saw my white curtains darkening with a black hue. I am scared of the dark. But knowing that I'm in my safe place makes me feel somewhat better. I haven't had nightmares in a long time. I didn't dare crawl in bed yet, because Rian was supposed to come and get me for my nightly meds. They were only sleep helpers, what I liked to call them. I knew the exact moment his large hands knocked on the door. When there was no sun left to shine through the cracks.
And there he is. Small knocks before I heard the swipe of his card and the beeps of digits he produced, unlocking my room. He stood at the door, all six- four of him, he was good looking, but that's all he had going for him. His attitude was complete shit. When I didn't budge from the warm and fuzzy spot on my bed his look turned annoyed.
"Now, now Miss Ellie, do I have to drag you out of here? I'm sure Mr. Doctren wouldn't like to have to demote you a few notches. He'd hate that, since you have big news going down tomorrow." Mr. Doctren was the founder of this institution, he was a cheery fat ole man. Who couldn't like cheery fat men? I thought of him as my father, he was the nicest I've ever had talk to me.
I rolled my eyes and popped up from the bed. "What's going on tomorrow for me?" I chirped.
He rolled his eyes with a bit of entertainment in them. He wasn't a complete ass most of the time. "Ole man hasn't told you yet Ell?"
"No, is it important?"
He chuckled. "Well to you it is, but he's specifically told me not to tell you."
"But why did you say anything if he hasn't even told me yet?" I exclaimed.
He found my anger amusing, I already knew. Because my face was genuinely great when I was mad. The medication only allowed me to have a certain expression, so I couldn't really do anything but a bored one. He snorted. "Because I've thought he'd told you already." His accent got in the way of him actually forming a straight sentence. I guess that's what he gets from Being Scottish born then moving here last year. Messes with your voice it does.
I stood with my hands on my hips. I give up.
"Ah, you give up?" He stated. I gave him an unbelievable look. "Don't you give me that look, I know you alright? I've looked after you since you got here." He had a point. His eyes suddenly blocked off any fun, and went back to strictly business. "Arms out mum." He spoke to me. I flipped my arms up, he was inspecting them, to make sure I haven't done anything stupid. "Roll your pants up!" He instructed. And I did what I was told. I was cut free.
"You don't think I'd go loony again do you Ri?" I questioned with a light laughing tone.
He smirked. "I've seen worse cases, they all good one moment, the next they being carried out on stretchers. You do not need to go there." I rolled my eyes as he fastened a piece of rope around my wrists, making sure I wont run. "Don't even get started on the rope mum, it's mandatory for all patients, you know that."
I did.
I followed silently behind Rian, like a poor helpless puppy. He was leading me to my meds, then I could finally get some shut eye. We were last in the line for medicines. When it was my turn they gave me this cool blue liquid, it tasted of berries. When we were done I stopped. "Do I get TV time tonight?" I didn't feel like sleeping quite yet.
Rian shook his head, his shaggy hair falling everywhere. He too was blonde. "No can do. Masters orders that you go back to the dungeon. You need to be at tippy top shape tomorrow."
I rolled my eyes. "It would be so much easier if you told me what was going on." I sighed. He started to speak but I cut him off. "Yeah I know, no can do mum." He had an amused expression as he made sure I was safely in my bed for the long night ahead. Considering it was only eight or so at night. Whatever. I blew air out of my mouth, I didn't know I was holding a breath. "Can you at least tell me if I'm getting more privileges for good behavior?" I was all of a sudden tired. This new medication took its toll faster than those small pills I was normally used to.
He sighed. "There is no winning with you is there?" He shoved some hair out of his face, rubbing along his cheek line. "I guess you could call it a privilege."
That's all I remember before I was out like a light.
XxX
A horrible shaking woke me up the next morning. I usually opened my eyes on my own until Rian came and got me for that days activities. I popped open my eyes and was greeted with the blaring sun. My windows were stripped, leaving nothing to cover the sun up with. Okay then? That is odd. A very happy and smiling nurse greeted me. I immediately had a headache. I disliked happy people when I first woke up, they made me feel self conscience and out of place.
"Well congratulations Sunshine." She said. Her curly red hair bounced free around her tan small frame.
"What are you talking about?" I asked wearily. I had no clue what was going on.
Her face fell. "Doctren didn't tell you?" She said sadly. When I didn't reply, I let her chipper British voice talk me through the process. I was to fix my hair for a big meeting being sat up for me. ""You're getting a…" She clamped her hands over mouth. "Whoops, I almost slipped up." I scowled. I bet she was doing that on purpose. Teasing me for her own fun. I couldn't help it, I was funny to watch get worked up sometimes. So I've been told.
An hour went past. Then two. Then after three I was about to shoot myself. "What's your name?" I snapped at her. I couldn't take her constant bickering. I mean talking. Well her voice was too nasally for me. "Better yet, what are you doing in my room?"
She rolled her eyes. She must have been used to snappy people. "The names Birgett." She sighed dramatically. "And I'm here to watch after you until Doctren comes down to get you." Birgett checked her watch. "Which should be any second."
I rolled my eyes and continued to try to block her out of my mind. She's so annoying…
About another hour later there was a knock on the door, I sat up, my nerves got to me and I felt my back strain a little bit. Better now then later I suppose. I heard the door handle turn and it opened.. What the hell? I could have walked right away from Birgett? I fumed. But the feeling was dulled from that strong medicine. Better yet I could have slept longer… I took a calming breath.
"Ello dear!" Mr. Doctren greeted me. And he was that; a bald fat happy man, who loved to wear suits. He had a ton of shopping bags in his arms. He dumped them in the room. "Birgett, will you pack them up for me?" He said warily, gauging my expression. I felt completely out of the loop here. "Come with me dear." He grabbed my arm and took me swiftly away from my comfort zone. "Were deathly late." He stated worriedly.
I was gasping for air, for a big guy he could run fast. "What are we late for?"
He stopped us right outside of his office. "I've found the perfect one for you Ellie!" He exclaimed to he happily.
I stood there dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?" I said.
"A family silly! I've found the perfect family for you!"
I Think I just died a little bit…
I didn't want to leave my safe place.
I surrounded my thoughts in a barrier of white as he slowly opened the door…
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