Warnings: Incestuous relationship, self harm, suicidal thoughts, suicidal actions and character death.

DO NOT READ FURTHER if you will be triggered by these things.

6 months before

They'd driven 4 hours away from Westerville to have this time together. Cooper had taken Blaine out to dinner, they'd walked several hours through the streets holding hands and enjoying the warm breeze, and no one had taken any notice. They were no longer in a small, conservative town where everyone knows each other. It felt like another world; what could have been had they only been soulmates instead of brothers, too. They drank red wine and gorged themselves on chocolate cake and there had been candles and soft music and it made Cooper think of a world where they could be themselves. Of how they could go someday, maybe, to a place where people wouldn't care who they were. Where they could always have nights like this, warm and wrapped around each other skin on skin on a night filled with soft kisses and declarations of love, except they'd be in their own apartment instead of a desolate hotel room. If he could have that, he'd never let it slip away.

5 months before

Cooper had been sitting in the hospital for two nights, and he still wouldn't let himself sleep. He couldn't stop staring, through tearful eyes, at the beaten and bloodied boy lying in front of him. He looked so small, so vulnerable- and he was. Cooper hadn't known just how easily one person could damage another until that night, although it was something he came to know well. His eyes panned over Blaine for the millionth time, taking in his black eye, his arm in a sling, the wires attached to his bandaged wrists. God only knew how much more damage lay under the covers, or beneath Blaine's smooth olive skin. He looked so peaceful, like he's sleeping. Cooper always loved to watch him sleep, even when the younger boy was only a baby. The look on his face was comforting. It somehow confirmed for Cooper that there was a way to escape, if he needed to. When he was resting, the frown lines that were permanently on his face would relax into the smooth, young skin. The way a boy should look, because Blaine shouldn't have to grow up yet. Not like that. Not in the way that makes you realise how much suffering is to come. Back then, Cooper thought he knew the worst it could get.

2 months before

For the first time what felt like forever, Cooper's little brother comes back for the weekend with a smile on his face. Cooper is so happy to see that smile, he doesn't bother to hold back and pulls Blaine tightly into his arms, releasing quickly before his mother comes down to greet her youngest son. Cooper hates having Blaine gone on weekends, but he understands why it has to happen. After all, he'd been the one to give all his commercial money to Blaine, to go towards his tuition. He never missed the money, but on many winter nights he found himself missing Blaine. He would reconcile himself with the idea that he would never have to see Blaine hurt like that again, and he would remember that night in the hospital and, by the end of the night, he was always sure he'd made the right decision. That weekend, Blaine babbled on all day and night about a boy he'd met. His name was Kurt and he was beautiful and he was fun and he understood. Cooper tried to be happy for him. God, he tried so hard. He tried to smile along and ask more questions so that Blaine could gush more and more. Cooper went to bed with a lump in his chest that night, and his pillow was wet by the time he fell asleep. His brother was in love, and it wasn't with him. Not anymore.

3 week before

Cooper was on his fifth glass of mother's fancy wine by the time Kurt, Blaine's boyfriend finally left. The worst thing about Kurt was that he and Cooper actually got on quite well. Any normal guy would be happy to see their younger brother with such a polite, clever and down to earth boy like him. But Cooper wasn't normal. He didn't feel normal and he hadn't for years, not since Blaine's lips had first touched his and his soul had left his body and gone into Blaine's. Blaine took it with him to boarding school every week. He took it with him to his room every night now that he no longer slept in a bed with Cooper. For so long he'd protected it like the precious gift it was. But now Kurt was here to tear Cooper's soul to pieces with a kiss and a blush and a smile.

No time left

Blaine hadn't come home the next weekend, or the one after that. Yesterday night, Friday, Cooper had received a call. Blaine was staying at Dalton again for Friday night. He'd spend Saturday at Kurt's having a 'sleepover'. Cooper knew what they were doing. The same thing they'd been doing the last week and the thought made him physically sick. Blaine was his. Cooper had claimed him time and time again and Blaine had told him he'd never need anything else. Everything had been a lie. The time two years ago, when Blaine had first uttered 'I love you, Coop' and Cooper had felt like he could fly. He'd taken that to be an oath, promise of a kind that said 'I love you, and I know that your heart belongs to me, and I won't break it.' That last part hadn't been true. It'd been mere weeks later when Blaine had whispered in his ear again 'Put your hands on me' and Cooper had swore to deny him nothing as long as he lived and so he had done. The night a year ago when their parents had gone away in the summer and they'd sit under the stars and talk about the future.

Cooper was weeping now. No, he was full out crying. Tears were flooding down his face and he could taste salt. He curled into a foetal position and cried shamelessly, because there was no one there to see him or care about him and there never again would be.

Then suddenly everything was calm. He knew what to do.

He took out his razor, and added six horizontal cuts to the scatter of them already on his arm. One for every letter of Blaine's name, or his. He found some more wine under the sink and gulped it down like water, his throat was numb from the salt anyway and he barely noticed it slip down until he found he could hardly stand. He dragged himself back up the stairs, half crawling and beginning to cry again. Pathetic. He used one of his dad's razors this time, they were bigger. Sharper. He dragged it across his skin (down the road, not across the street) and watched his the blood spill out. For the first time in months, he felt truly alive and, happy would be the wrong word, relieved- so relieved.

He was on the floor, weeping and whispering Blaine's name when the door opened and there he was with a weekend suitcase and a fading smile.

"Cooper!" The words were echoed, they sounded all wrong. Was that panic in Blaine's voice? Surely this was what he wanted. He cursed himself for not being tidier about it; maybe Blaine was mad at him, thought he'd been seeking attention.

"Dammit Cooper!" He felt a cloth pressed to his wound and strong arms wrap around him, cradling him gently. There were tears falling on his face, and they weren't his own. Cooper tried to reach a hand up to the face of the boy holding him, but he was too weak and it fell with a crack on the cold tiles. The entire room was blurry, save for Blaine's tearful face.

"Cooper..." Blaine's voice was broken, like it had been in the hospital. Cooper would have done anything to take that pain away. Anything! He wanted to scream, to tell Blaine that this was all for him, that this was supposed to make him happy. But his lips were already blue and numb and nothing came out.

Blaine spoke again through tears "Cooper, I came back for you..."

The room was spinning and the world began to fade, Blaine's beautiful face began to swirl before him and he whispered.

"Goodbye."