My first song fic(: Exciting! I was writing the next chapter of Defeated when this song (one of my latest favorites) came on my playlist and I was like, "Hey! Song fic. Yes? YES."
To be honest, though, as excited as I was to write it, I'm pretty unhappy with the outcome. Be brutally honest as always. Hope y'all like it(:
I AM pro-Zammie, but I thought this would work better with Josh and Cammie. It's not a positive view of Josh and Cammie, so read anyway?
It's a little OOC, I think. Sorry!
-Mary Katherine(:
Song: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye feat. Kembra
[Gotye:]
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
"Cammie…" Josh mumbled against my hair as he kissed my temple for the hundredth time in the last five minutes.
"Mmm?" I made it sound like a question. I really couldn't get myself to say anything more.
"I couldn't be happier to have you. I love being with you. I love having these moments. I love you," he whispered the words to me with sincerity.
I tried to pretend that the fluttering of my stomach wasn't missing at his words. I tried to pretend that his kisses made my heart jump in my chest. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't lying to myself.
I tried to pretend that I didn't have to force the words out of my throat when I told him, "I love you, too."
He smiled at me. No, wait. He beamed. He glowed.
Did he notice the way I tried to imitate his expression? It felt like a grimace to me, but I hope it wasn't.
I did love him, right? Why was it so hard to have the same exuberance he did in our love?
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over
It was a few days later, but the conversation started with that same word. My name.
"Cammie?"
I smiled at him sweetly, if a little bit forced. "Yes, Josh?"
His eyes drifted to rest on something to my left. They wouldn't meet mine.
"Do you love me?"
I looked at him. I think my jaw dropped a little. I opened and closed my mouth several times, floundering for words.
A cloud of anger passed over his face at my silence.
"That's what I th-"
"Of course I love you, Josh!" I managed to blurt out.
He practically hissed the next words, "Don't lie to me, Cammie. This whole relationship? You've lied. You don't love me. I can see it, Cammie. I see the way you hesitate. I'm not oblivious. Don't deny it." With each statement, his voice raised just a little.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I whispered.
"Don't do this, Cam! Stop pretending! I can't take it anymore."
"Josh. I love you. I do," I tried harder than I ever have to will the words to be true, but they came out strangled.
He shook his head. Disappointed. In his disappointment, his anger vanished temporarily. "We're not made for each other. I thought we were, but obviously you can't accept that. Friends?"
I sat there, stunned. I barely nodded. He looked at me sadly before turning around and walking away.
I stopped him by yelling at him. I shouted at him about things I had waited awhile to say. He didn't respond. He didn't even flinch. He just turned again and continued on.
He didn't look back.
When he was out of hearing distance, I couldn't hold back the sigh of relief that escaped my lips.
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
I waited on Bex and Liz to come out of Josh's house. They were returning his jacket that he'd texted me about.
Returning. Burning and then returning by throwing it in the puddle sitting below the ferns on his porch, but returning nonetheless.
Bex stomped back to my side, fuming with anger. "What a-"
"Yes, Bex. We all know what Josh is. Watch the language, though," Liz, ever the innocent one, interrupted her before an unladylike word could spew from her mouth.
"You can't just expect me to sit back and let the…. jerk treat my best friend like this! It's-"
I interrupted her again quietly, "It's okay, Bex. Really. It is." I smiled sincerely at her and linked my arm with hers as we walked down the street.
We turned down the corner and saw a couple making out against a building. Walking closer, we saw who it was.
Josh. And some girl wearing clothes that were far too revealing.
I couldn't stop the gasp I made, and they both looked up.
Hurt flashed through my eyes, but it didn't seem to faze Josh. His toy noticed though.
"Who's that?" Her voice was just like you'd expect. She was trying to put sexiness, innocence, and everything a boy could want into one note, but it came out like a giraffe choking on a marble.
He looked at her. Then he looked at me. Turning back to her and leaning in for another kiss, he just mumbled, "Nobody. Just somebody that I used to know."
I walked away with my head held high making my last words to Josh stand true.[Kimbra:]
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
I lay back on my bed and thought about seeing Cammie today. I thought about the way I treated her. Then I thought about how she had treated me during our relationship, and every guilty feeling vanished.
~Flashback~
I laughed at my own story from my Chemistry class earlier that day that I had been telling Cammie about.
A smile landed on her lips. Gosh. She's gorgeous, I thought to myself.
I leaned in to give her a kiss, but she turned her head. My lips grazed her cheek.
"What's wrong?" I asked. The frown on my face was evident in my voice. I was worried about her.
She forced the smile to grow bigger. "Nothing," she replied quietly, shaking her head to emphasize her point.
"Are you sure? Did I do something?"
"No, Josh. You're perfect."
There it was again. The way I second guessed everything she said. Her words didn't match up to her face or her posture. It didn't make sense.
"Not as perfect as you," I reassured her. "I love you."
It was short, but she hesitated before returning my words, "I love you, too."
~End Flashback~
It had gotten to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take trying to decipher the real meaning behind everything.
I definitely didn't try to decipher the meaning behind her last words to me.
"You've changed. You aren't the same person I once knew. I'll get over you. Believe me when I say that you won't find me crying over losing you when the Josh Abrams that just broke up with me is only someone that I used to know."
[Gotye:]
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
[x2]
Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)
(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody
Sooooo? What do you think? Did it suck? :p It's okay if it did(: For real! Was I too pro-Josh and Cammie?
-Mary Katherine(:
P.S. I may come back later and edit/rewrite this. Who knows! Maybe I'll add another song-fic and make this a collection or something. Idk(: