Disclaimer: I own nothing except my sanity at the moment. YAMANE AYANO is the owner of
Warning: Flashback, hint of child abuse and OCC
As the water beat down upon his head Akihito closed his eyes and scrubbed his skin harder and harder.
Why was he remembering this now?
He was 23 not some God damn kid.
He had locked those memories away, far away and thrown away the key. How dare they manifest themselves like that? To say that he was embarrassed was an understatement.
Flash back
Asami rolled Akihito unto his back and peered down at his cute young lover.
Something was definitely up. It was the third night in a row that he had fuck the photographer into a state of sweet unconscious (he assumed it was a blissful state that the photographer was in because the last thing Akihito scream was his first name before his beautiful eye lashes fluttered close and locked away those gorgeous heady hazel eyes).
Taking in Akihito's tear stain cheeks, his fretful whimpers and his now frantic breathing Asami was at a lost to what had triggered his pet latest nightmare. He robbed his back, and whispered
"Come back Akihito" "come back to me- Asami-, I am right beside you and nothing will harm you my pet"
Akihito awoke
Eyes wide open, pupils dilated, sobbing harshly and hoarsely, his voice was pleading words in a soft childish manner
" I ...have been a good boy ...please no, no no more ...no more, I ...I ...did all what you said. Aki has been a good boy... so PL...ESEEEEEEEEEE NO MORE!"
Asami knew his photographer had not yet come back to him. Trapped in his nightmare, Asami did the only thing that he thought would dispel Akihito's trance.
Asami gently rested both hands on Akihito's neck , slowly guided his right hand into the back of his lover sweat dampen head, fusing his fingers into his mate hair and with deliberate patience brought Akihito quivering lips to his. Without demand and using no force he let his lips touch Akihito's soft firm closed pouted mouth. While his left hand steadied the boy's back.
Past experience had taught him Akihito needed familiarity to bring him back, the boy's mind needed to know that he was now a young man. That if he said no to others nothing and no one could force him to comply. He needed to know he was home, in their bed and that Asami is his anchor.
Akihito's lips slowly relaxed his cute and frightened pout, dissipated and his sweet pink tongue hesitantly left his mouth and seek out Asami's. Upon contact with Asami's lip he was given immediate access. Asami parted his lips and allowed Akihito to drive them in whatever direction he wanted and need the kiss to go. It was a challenge for Asami not to take the reins when Akihito greedily and impatiently suck at Asami's tongue and lips, while his young lover dug his body into Asami's arms begging for a reminder of where he was and who he belong to.
After a couple of minutes his lover impatient movements abruptly stopped, his entire body went limp and he slid down Asami's torso curled up into the man's lap and fell asleep once more. With both arms fastened tightly and wrapped around Asami's waist, his kitten began to breathe easily.
Asami watch his Akihito sleep and thought I will find the one who hurt you and I will kill them for putting that look in your eyes.
Knowing he would not be able to sleep any longer Asami quietly tried to shift his young lover into the pile of blankets on their bed without waking him, he failed. Akihito slowly at first uncurled himself and peeked through his left eye as if confirming his surroundings before he attempted anything more daring.
Asami watched with keen eyes assessing every detail of his lover's behaviour, when he was sure his lover was up he said
"Don't you trust me with your nightmares Akihito?"
Akihito shuddered and quickly rolled off Asami, only presenting his back to him.
He had the vague sensation that he had shared something physically and psychologically personal with Asami and now he felt trap. He would not go digging up buried graved so others-Asami- could get answers. He would deny it all regardless of the consequences.
"Akihito there isn't anything for you to feel ashamed or frightened of you can tell me anything"
Asami remarks was hitting a sensitive nerve
Akihito closed his eyes and counted to ten, in his mind.
1, breathe, 2, breathe, 3
"Akihito"
4, breathe, 5, breathe, 6
"Akihito ... I only want to help you baby"
God dammit 78910.
"YOU CAN'T HELP ME NO ONE CAN JUST DROP IT." Realising he had been shouting Akihito drop his tone to a mere whisper "please Asami just lea..."
"I will not" Asami tone was matter of fact he knew the issue would not be dropped.
Akihito finally turned around and faced Asami. Tears soundlessly trickled down his cheeks and fell onto the bed. His voice surprisingly firm and mono tone, accusatory and yet begging for understanding.
"You weren't there, I was. You don't know what I had to endure. I had no one then. I need no one now. I survived. I am a survivor. No one will ever break me."
Asami 's gaze never left Akihito's face, and what he saw made him want to reach out and hold Akihito down while he poured out and showered him with love, comfort and security that no one and nothing would hurt him again.
As Asami reached for his lover he said, "Akihito I understand..."
"YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING, YOU CAN'T " Akihito screamed and ran to the bathroom and shut the door.
End of Flash back
Turning off the shower, Akihito wrapped himself in Asami's towel and knelt on the bathroom floor. How could he face Asami now? He was ashamed of his behaviour. He never wanted the man to see him that weak.
Asami would never think of him as an equal now. He was convinced that it was all his fault and he had fall in Asami's esteem.
He wanted the ground to open up and drag him away- to hell even –as long as he didn't have to face Asami he mused. So wrapped up in his thoughts on how to escape the inevitable by avoiding the unavoidable, the immovable entity that was his Asami. Akihito didn't hear Asami open the second door to their master bathroom. He didn't hear Asami approach and knelt behind him.
He did register however that it was Asami's arms that held him. It was Asami's hand that combed the damp hair on his head. It was Asami's smell that was invading his nostrils. It was Asami's body that he was turning into. It was Asami that he had wrapped his legs around. It was Asami that he had let pick him off the bathroom floor and carry him into their bedroom. It was ASAMI. And he wanted it to be only Asami he realised.
Could he share his nightmares with this man? He may not have said it out loud as yet, but he was in love with this man. Minus his first lesson it was this man who had taught him how to love indirectly of course.
Akihito took a deep breath "Asami I want to tell you everything."
A/N: Yeah this is just chapter 1. If you like review else we might never see chapter. I might decide to not update it for yearssssssssssss. lol