WARNING: Within this story, lies extremely dark themes such as self-harm, suicide, eating disorders, and etc. Reader caution is advised.
DISCLAIMER: I only own the plot and the events within this story, all else belongs to Hiro Mashima.
BETA READ: My big sister and all loving friend, Nikki! ( NIchiki )
COVER ART: Belongs to Leons-7 on tumblr
Chapter 1: The Preposition
Crystallized transparent snowflakes rained down briskly towards the white blanket that hid the grass. It was obviously Winter in Magnolia, anyone could see that and even if you were blind the chill in the air was like a red warning sign. Extremely hard to miss. It was already a quarter past seven in the morning and the sun was already up due to the time skip that had occurred a month ago.
The blonde walked down the street wrapped in a purple pea-coat, complete with a black beanie to keep her head warm. She took careful slow steps down the icy sidewalk silently giving thanks that someone had thought to plow the sidewalks clear of snow sometime early that Saturday.
Lucy Heartfilia noticed absently she was the only one outside so early in the morning and in such freezing weather. The busty Junior, had no idea herself as to why she had to be out in those conditions. Well for the most part at least.
She continued down the street until she spotted her destination, a run down off white building settled against whitewashed bricks surrounding it. She pried open the sturdy, ancient looking door and walked into a small waiting room. The white room was full of chairs, plastic plants, people, and the smell of desperation. The combination made her dizzy and a bit nauseous.
Lucy walked straight to the counter, and stood in front of the lady behind the desk until the secretary seemed to look up from her files with a downright unfriendly look. Lucy wondered why she was even working there if she obviously didn't like interacting with people and wondered if her face would freeze like that if she kept up that grouchy look. Sort of like she was perpetually sucking on lemons.
"How can I help you?" The woman said with fake empathy.
"I have an appointment." The blonde sighed, wondering why she always had to deal with grumpy people.
"Name?"
"Lucy Heartfilia." The lady added Lucy in her computer for showing up.
"Okay, you can go on ahead."
Without waiting for her to finish her sentence, Lucy walked off towards the door behind the desk. Honestly, this wasn't Lucy's first time going to "counseling" or what she referred to as just plain hell. In fact, Lucy had to meet with her therapist every Saturday at 7:45. This was her 4th month attending a session since she was forced into "healing."
If it wasn't for her best friend, she wouldn't be apart of this. Levy McGarden forced her into this, for Lucy's safety.
.x.
"Lucy you need to stop!" The petite girl grabbed the blonde's wrists.
"Ya, ya..." Lucy replied, jerking her arms away.
"I'm completely serious! I love you like a sister Lu-chan, and it hurts me to see you doing this to yourself."
"I love you too Levy, but this is just how I am, and you have to accept me like this."Lucy argued crossing her arms in anger, which also hid her wrists.
"This isn't about not accepting you for you. If you can't stop, could you at least go to therapy or something. Please!" She pleaded.
"It's not like I'm hurting anyone." Lucy's eyes darted to the side, not wanting to see the hurt on her friends face.
Tears were streaming down the bluenette's cheeks as she moved to keep Lucy's eyes locked with hers. "Lucy please... You're hurting yourself. If you don't get some sort of treatment, then I'll cut too." In a quick motion, Levy reached for a butter knife and hovered it over her arm. "Is that what you want me to do? Would it matter if I did?" Lucy flinched at what her best friend was about to do.
"Stop Levy!" She rushed over and grabbed the knife from her hand. "I'll go, just stop. You don't need to cut yourself."
"Do you promise?"
"Yes." With that declaration, she loosened her grip on the knife and let Lucy take it, putting it back in the drawer.
"I'll go with you to sign you up tomorrow, but for now, you'd better not cut. If you do, then I will too." She said with a sob, but Lucy could tell she was deadly serious.
"Fine."
Lucy turned around, wanting to desperately get out of that situation, heading towards her bedroom. Right when she was turning the knob, she spoke one last thing to the still weeping girl.
"By the way Levy, you would have to get that knife sharpened if you wanted to actually self-harm It's too dull, trust me, I would know." She said disappearing behind the door.
.x.
Since that incident, Levy would check up on her every Saturday to make sure the blonde was up and ready and if she wasn't, she would force her up and out of the house. Plus, the blunette would go to the facility and check with the nurses to make sure she showed up and even would wait for Lucy to get out.
Even though Lucy thought that that was annoying, what Levy was doing showed how much she cared for the blonde. In her own, obsessive way.
Lucy rapped the door with her knuckles waiting for a sign that she could enter.
"Yes?"
Upon hearing a response, she opened the door, shutting it behind her, and began walking to sit on the couch she usually reclined in. A ratty, pretty beat up looking couch that looked like it had seen better days and the color reminded her of a pukey green.
"How have you been, Lucy?" The red-haired man said looking over at the teen with that warm friendly smile he always seemed to have on his face.
"If I said, 'fine,' I think you would be able to tell I'm lying. So, I'll just say I'm neutral."
The doctor brushed his bangs out of his face in order to get a good look at the blonde. Her wrists were still covered in red and white scars, the varying colors depended on how long ago she created them.
"Have you narrowed down the amount of self-harm you've been committing, at least?"
"Sorry Dr. D, but no."
Lucy laid down on the couch, getting comfortable for the appointment. He was sitting in his usual recliner with a clipboard and a pen in hand as he studied her and wrote down notes once in a while. Of course, he would write down everything she said, then reflect on it in order to determine a way to "help" her. She sometimes wondered if he was just doodling on that pad of paper just to make her paranoid.
"I told you not to call me that, but to call by my last name." He said sighing at her.
"Nah, I like calling you Dr. D." The blonde giggled at the somewhat suggestive name. His last name actually started with a "D," henceforth her nickname for him. Didn't take a lot of brain cells to come up with that.
"Anyways Lucy, I was hoping today you'd finally be able to tell me why you do it." The man spoke cautiously, his gaze sharp and focused on her as he asked the one question she had no answer to.
For the past 4 months, he'd attempted to get any information out of her that he could, but she just wouldn't tell him why she self-harmed.
The only thing he knew was really how her school life has been, and that was only part of the reason. He knew what they called her at school, the foul utterly despicable names. The horrendous actions and pain that everyone caused her but, that was all he knew. He needed more if he was going to help her, but she was being stubborn and not giving an inch.
"Please Lucy, if you don't tell me any reasons to why you self-harm, then it seems as if you're just cutting to cut. If you don't tell me, then I may just have to admit you into an institution or-"
"I've already told you." The blonde interrupted him, with a hint of attitude in her voice. She didn't want to be told that she needed to go enter some kind of institution. That's the one thing she dreaded.
"You've only told me about what's been going on at school, and I've already contacted your principal about how everyone has been treating you. Plus, you've already told me that that wasn't the reason you've been cutting." He pointed out as he spoke in a rather serious manner. His red eyebrows had furrowed while speaking to her, yet he wasn't aggravated. He needed her to know how very serious he was about this.
"It used to be a reason, until I started standing up for myself." Lucy breathed in a huff. He looked at her in thought, then quickly jotted down some notes.
"Can you tell me anymore reasons?" he asked, not looking up from his furiously writing pen.
"Maybe, next week."
"Okay, fine." He slumped. "So, do you have any new friends?"
Lucy didn't even hesitate to answer, "Levy is my only friend. She has always been my only friend."
The red-haired man began pondering. He really wanted to help her make more friends, because he thought that if she had more friends then perhaps she wouldn't be so lonely and maybe, just maybe she wouldn't feel the need to cut anymore. But first things first, baby steps.
He knew that his son went to a school in Magnolia too, Fairy Tail Academy and he always spoke so highly of the place, and it helped that Dr. D knew the headmaster. He'd also learned over time that FTA had a very safe and family-like feel to it and nobody got pushed around because everyone was basically family. Only once or twice had there been any serious issues with people not getting along so that said a lot for how well the institution was being run.
That's when a light bulb seemed to just magically click on in his brain.
He jotted down his thoughts on a separate piece of paper as he ran through how he could get her to agree with his suggestion. Of course, the decision would be totally up to her, but if she disagreed he could always ask Levy for her opinion and find a way to work around her, but if she thought his idea was a brilliant one, then his plan could commence.
He just hoped she wouldn't be too difficult.
After he wrote down his idea, he handed Lucy the slip of paper then voiced his idea aloud, "Here's the deal, I know you live with your friend at y'all's apartment together and you go to the local Magnolia High School. The fact that you go there could be playing a big part with when, how, or why you self-harm. So, I propose that you change up your daily situations a bit. For instance, you could come stay at my house with my family for at least a month and switch to a nearby school. I would be able to see how you're doing at the same time and in return, I promise I won't submit you into any sort of care facility." he finished, waiting for her to process all the information.
The blonde's eyes widened at his idea. That was definitely not what she'd expected as she glanced down at the slip of paper and read it silently. It contained an official notice saying she would be moving out of that school system and into another one, with Mr. Dragneel's signature scrawled along the bottom.
"I don't know about staying with your family..." Lucy said a little nervously. She didn't think it was a bad idea, but she wasn't sure if it was a good idea either. They were practically strangers and she would be living in his house, with them?
"It's just my wife, daughter, son, and I. C'mon, I really think this would be a great idea." he urged with a small smile.
She looked to him, then back to the slip of paper, the idea bouncing around in her brain as she thought of all the pros and cons that would be accompanying this ordeal. If she really moved in with his family, she would have to be very cautious when she chose to cut and she was sure he would not be the only one watching her with the gaze of a hawk.
"Fine, as long as I don't have to go to any kind of mental institution. Plus I have to be able to visit Levy whenever I want, no exceptions."
"Of course, you can have today and tomorrow to pack and I can enroll you in the nearby Academy today. Tomorrow afternoon, I can pick you up and bring you to our house so you can start school Monday." Dr. D spoke with glee suppressing a wide smile knowing it would probably rub the blond the wrong way. He was ecstatic he'd thought of such a great idea that could benefit Lucy's situation in such a strong way.
"Okay then I guess, but if anything goes wrong I'm going to go pack up and and go back to live with Levy." The teenage girl replied, looking very serious.
"Of course, if anything I want you to just stay for at least a month."
Lucy opened her purse to check her phone, it read 7:59am. "Okay, well it's almost time for me to go so you can look up my address in my information papers or whatever." She grabbed her purse and stood up walking to the door, more then ready to get out of there and think over probably the biggest decision she'd ever made.
"I'll turn this in too." She spoke gesturing to the note.
Dr. Dragneel nodded. "Remember, Sunday afternoon we'll pick you up."
"Okay."
The teen left out the door and began walking down the hall towards the main office. Her boots made soft sounds, as they touched the tiles as she practically speed walked out of there. She had a lot to tell Levy.
When she arrived back to the waiting room, Levy was in the room sitting down reading a magazine only to look up when she finally sensed the blonde nearing her.
"So how did it go?" The bluenette asked with a genuine smile.
"Well, hard to say really, but he seems to think adding a new person to his family might do me a world of good."
X.O.X.O.
A/N: I feel this may have been somewhat rushed, but I spent 3 or so months rereading this chapter and trying to perfect it as much as I could until I just kind of decided that I was finished. This story will be a way of how I'll express some inner emotions while trying to get back into writing. In the past, I'd update my stories frequently, however I've had hardly any motivation to write anymore. So that's why I put my other account on hiatus, and I'm focusing on starting new with the story so I can return back to normal with my writing schedule.
Please don't pressure me to update so often, if you're a writer too, you know how it feels to get, "update update update" when you're "busy busy busy." Please bare in mind that I won't update too often, sometimes maybe it takes me a month or maybe even a day, it depends.
I'm not sure if I want Nikki to beta read every chapter, so probably just any chapter I'm unsure on, because I don't want to overload my sis hehe. If she does beta, I'll mention it at the top. :)