He says, "Oh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges
I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon
There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs
And if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight."
Halsey - Young god
I had woken up wrapped in a pair of sturdy arms, making it almost impossible to get up from the king size bed and untangle myself from the black silk sheets without waking him in the process. But since I found myself almost every morning in this quite compromising position, school day or not, I had mastered the art of stealthily slipping out of his apartment.
Gathering my clothes from the floor where we had scattered them the night before in the throngs of passion, I spared the man I love one last glance before walking on tiptoes out of his spacious flat, silently laughing to myself when I spotted his folded boxer shorts sitting neatly in the laundry basket.
I was so used to stealing myself back home in the early hours of the morning that I didn't even consider it a walk of shame anymore, not that a little gossip would have bothered me either way. I wasn't even the only one doing so. Every time I met another girl she´d most likely wink at me and tell me well done instead of lowering her head in shame. The only thing dauntless did more than fighting was fucking.
And I wasn't an exception.
Instead of going through half of the male population, I stayed with one guy – one that would literally kill anybody who´d dare lay a single finger on me since I was and I quote the exact words "His".
Snorting, I rolled my eyes thinking about how he pulled me away from the pit, hauling me over his shoulder carrying me up to his flat less than a week ago on the evening after our aptitude test because I was dancing with an intoxicated Uriah – one of my best friends, what he knew might I add.
I had been more than just a little pissed that he interrupted my night of celebration out of pure spite that I wasn't paying enough attention to him but the second he took me against his door with my skirt bunched around my hip, his pants just hanging low on his hips I forgave him. It was also the moment I decided that jealous sex was even better than angry sex.
Even though I had to hide the bite marks from all my friends the whole last week of school and especially from my brother, it had been worth it.
Biting my lip, I still felt his abs ripple with his every movement, his tattooed arms holding me securely against the bulletproof steel door of his apartment. Sometimes I thought he really overdid it with his paranoia, making sure his flat was basically a fortress. But his more than questionable quirks were just another thing that made me love him.
I knew the compound like the back of my hand, so it didn't take me long to arrive at home, my legs carrying me the right way even though my mind was far away. Making sure no one saw me, I tipped in the code, throwing the door open. Wiping my shoes on the doormat, I stripped out of my jacket, already hearing the promising clattering of pots in the kitchen. Even though my brother had already moved out, with him being four years older than me, our home was rarely quiet, just how I liked it.
My parents were the epitome of dauntless, always loud and never shy of confrontation, not someone you´d mess with. They were rambunctious and could drink like fish, but they were always supporting and loving, just like family should be.
In fact, this whole faction and all the people here were home, a giant dysfunctional family that threatened to shoot each other over the turkey on thanksgiving –I couldn't imagine something more beautiful.
The smell of bacon and pancakes pulled me out of my spontaneous melancholic episode and I rolled my eyes at myself, not being used getting so sentimental. It was most likely just the fact that I had to choose my faction tomorrow because even though I knew exactly where I belonged, an extremely tiny part of me was still hesitant.
I guess you could never be one hundred percent sure, at least that´s what I told myself.
My mother was standing in the kitchen turning the pancakes with a spatula, only sparing me a small glance when I sat down on the counter in front of her. Laying my chin on my folded hands, I watched her pouring another patch of batter into the pan which only earned me a raised eyebrow from her.
"So," She started, only half turning towards me. "how was Macy´s?"
"You know," I answered in a purposely cheery voice, waving my hand around in the air. "Same old, same old."
"Right." Mom drawled before turning back towards the pan. Turning off the stove, she grabbed a plate piled with three pancakes, a dab of cream and strawberries on top, setting the rare deliciousness down in front of me. "Did you have a fight?"
Furrowing my brows, I stared at her while picking up the cutlery. "No, why would we?"
"I don´t see where else you would get those bite marks on your neck, except maybe if you didn't even sleep at Macy´s, who came – just so you know – looking for you last night." Mom raised her eyebrow at me, her suspicions confirming when I blushed and hurriedly tugged my collar up, trying to hide the love bites on my skin. Damn him.
Shaking her head, mom just resorted to wiping down the counter. "I was once young too, you know? I just hope the poor boy knows what he´s in for when your brother gets wind of it."
I bit my lip, trying to suppress a smirk because she called him boy, from all things, but when mom turned around, her face turning into an amused expression, I knew I had failed. Letting out a loud snort, I started laughing. "Believe me, mom, the boy can hold his own in a fight. Honestly, I´m pretty sure Aiden would lose if it ever went that far."
"Yes and then he would resent the both of you. I hope he isn't who I think he is." When I lowered my gaze back to my plate and shoved a huge bite into my mouth to avoid answering her, she just sighed. "Those two are like brothers ever since they went through initiation together and you know he´s like a son to me." The stern glance she shot me had me mutter a ´Yes ma´am´ in response, earning me a satisfied nod.
"So you better tell Aiden before he finds out and raises hell for all of us. God knows I have to deal with enough all of your shit."
"Tell Aiden what?" My brother came strolling into the kitchen, wearing his dauntless uniform even though it was early on a Sunday morning, giving mom a kiss on the cheek. Behind him, Eric followed, greeting me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk before he too, went over to hug my mother and accepted a plate from her. They both took a seat opposite of me and wasted no second digging in.
"Just that I´m planning to transfer to amity, you know?"
Aiden all but choked on his food, while Eric´s hand with the cup stopped midair, staring me down with one of his infamous glares. Biting my lip, I wasn´t prepared for the swat on the back of my head.
"Casey, stop tormenting your brother!"
"Sorry. Not sorry." I muttered the last part to myself, but as I looked up I saw Eric shaking his head at me, no doubt because he deemed me childish. But the corner of his mouth curled up nonetheless into an almost invisible smirk which he tried to hide behind the rim of his cup. Yeah, I caught on to that mister.
Catching my eye, I knew that he was just as amused by my brother as I was.
Spluttering like a maniac, Aiden downed the contents of his cup before banging it on the table, making the cutlery rattle. There was definitely a reason why we didn't use glasses.
"I swear," He gasped, the vein on his forehead pounding dangerously. "if you even think about becoming a tree hugger I´m going to shoot you on sight!"
"Please." I mocked him. "As if you´d ever hit me. I´m way too fast for you."
"She has a point," Eric muttered under his breath, earning him a painful sounding punch to the shoulder from my brother. The young leader didn't even flinch, only shooting Aiden a warning glance. I, however, had to focus on suppressing the warm feeling that rose in my chest after hearing these small words of approval from him.
Before I could do something stupid, like leap over the table and give Eric a hug, I got up and carried my plate to the sink. Giving my mother a kiss on the cheek and thanking her for breakfast, I excused myself to go to my room and catch up on a bit of sleep but my brother called me back before I could escape.
"Casey." I reluctantly turned around and knew instantly that my brother meant business, his face serious. "I mean it. If you even think about leaving, forget it. The second your blood touches anything but coals you´re not longer part of our family."
"Calm down, Aiden. I´m sure your sister is sure in what she is choosing." My mother calmly, but sternly interrupted his rant while I rolled my eyes, leaning against the threshold.
"Way to go, drama queen? Are we being overly sensitive today? Maybe you should change your methods of birth control, these shots seem to mess you up pretty bad." Shooting him a provoking smirk, I crossed my arms over my chest waiting for the gasket to blow. And like always it didn't disappoint.
Aiden was already halfway out of his chair, fists balled when Eric´s hand landed on his shoulders and shoved him back down.
Pushing myself away from the threshold, I pouted at Eric. I would have loved to have a go at my brother and give him a black eye as a reminder of my sisterly love. Something to remember me by while I was busy with initiation. Or busy going through hell since Eric would supervise us poor souls once again.
Since he had destroyed my perfect opportunity, I shot him a glare before whirling around, stomping out of the room.
Throwing the door shut behind me, I let myself fall on the bed still wearing my boots. Letting them dangle over the edge, I groaned the soreness between my legs that I had tried to ignore becoming overbearing. It was a good thing that I wouldn't see him tonight, another one of those encounters would have made jumping onto and off a train almost impossible.
When I couldn't ignore the dull throbbing anymore I got up with a groan, moving into my en suite bathroom that I would dearly miss in the next few weeks. Rummaging through the cabinet I soon found the bottle full of painkillers and downed two of them glad that it was normal for dauntless to have them lying around in every cabinet.
We tended to get hurt a lot.
I hurriedly washed my face and brushed my teeth, wanting to get in a short nap before I would meet my friends in the training room for a last relaxing day with no responsibilities. I sighed, not knowing if I should be anxious or excited. Right now I dangled between both emotions.
Leaving the bathroom, I almost let out a loud squeal when I was suddenly swept up by broad arms that slung themselves around my waist, but a large hand covered my mouth, muffling every sound I made.
"Shhh. We wouldn't want your brother to find us now, would we?" He breathed into my ear, making me shiver as he lightly nibbled my earlobe. "Would be hard to explain, don´t you agree, Cas?"
When he was sure I wouldn't scream, he let his hand trail down to my cleavage and over my stomach until it rested between my legs. I dug my nails into his tattoo-covered forearms, the pressure on my core thanks to the pills more pleasurable than painful. Letting myself sink back into his embrace, I laid my head on his broad shoulder and stifled a low moan.
"Eric!"
"You were gone when I woke up." The obvious disapproval in his voice didn't faze me in the slightest, his fingers speeding up their motions making it impossible to think of anything else. Pushing my lower half back into him, I could feel the evidence of his arousal against my lower back. Groaning, Eric pushed himself closer to me, sinking his teeth in the spot behind my ear for a second before soothing the sharp pain with his skillful tongue.
"Maybe," I panted, already worked up and aroused beyond compare. "…maybe I wanted to get away from you. But you see how that turned out."
"Well, if that´s the cause…" Eric was mockingly nonchalant as he pulled his hand away and stepped back, ignoring my objections and whines for him to continue. "Guess I´ll see you around then, princess."
He pulled me into one last heated kiss before throwing me a wink, adjusted his pants and disappeared into the hallway, while I stayed back, horny, alone and with a bleeding lip.
The bastard bit me.
.
.
.
I could hear the laughter ringing through the training room before I even stepped in. Pushing the door open, I merely avoided a pellet flying at my head by dropping to the floor.
Growing up with the Pedrad siblings fastened my reflexes without a doubt.
When I was sure the coast was free, I tentatively came out of my cover, giving Uriah who was smiling sheepishly a ´what-the-fuck´ look.
"You know that Max made it clear that if you ever hit him again with that little gun of yours, he´ll let you dangle of the chasm for half an hour, right?"
"Please." Uriah smirked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "I´m his favorite and he secretly loves my pranks. He would never compromise his most promising initiate, now would he?"
"Right." Lynn drawled from where she was lounging on the mats, rolling her eyes. "I seriously hope he kicks your ass someday. You´d deserve it."
"I heard Eric isn't far from making good on that threat." Macy piped in from her place in front of the targets with a set of knives in her hand. "Something about pink glitter on all his vests?" Biting her lip, she scrunched up her face in concentration before pulling her arm back, letting the knife fly. It hit the target just outside the middle ring and she cursed, pinching her lips into a straight line. Knife throwing wasn't her forte.
"Glitter?" Uriah squeaked, eyes widening he manically flitted his gaze between us. "I never used glitter for any pranks, I swear! I´d never touch his things! I´m not suicidal!"
Chuckling to myself, I went over to him and patted his shoulder, suppressing a loud laugh when I saw how terrified he really was. "No, that was me." Ignoring his incredulous stare, I made my way over to Macy, snatching two of her knives.
"Well, then go and tell him!" Uriah called out, throwing his arms in the air gesturing for me to do so right now.
"And get myself killed? Please, I´m not suicidal." Smirking, I cheekily taunted him with his own words. Narrowing his eyes at me, Uriah took a step closer, arms outstretched ready to tackle but Marlene stepped into his way, effectively stopping something that would have ended in another great war.
"As if Eric would harm you. Aiden would skin him alive if he´d dare to even touch you." Marlene turned towards me, hands on hips ready to defend the guy she´d been secretly crushing on for years. Smirking in victory, Uriah snaked his arms around her torso, pulling her into him. With Marlene so close he suddenly seemed to forget that it was his life on the line.
"As if he didn't touch her every night for the last year." Lynn grumbled, shooting the two of them disgusted look. Well, her little crush didn't go unnoticed either.
I glared at her, once again cursing Eric for convincing me no one would come through the corridor we were in and myself, for believing him. He had me pressed against the wall, pants hanging low on his hips, my dress bunched up around my waist when Lynn found us. It was quite the compromising situation we were in, regarding that Eric was still buried deep inside me but like the good friend she is, Lynn walked away, only shaking her head. Of course, since then I had to endure her taunts, however, Lynn never asked any questions and for that alone I was thankful. It was hard enough confessing everything to Macy and she´s like a sister to me.
"What was that?" Uriah asked absentmindedly, obviously groping a feel. We all watched how Marlene pretended to be offended and pushed him away, swatting his head all while trying to suppress her smile. It was clear that she didn't mind it one bit.
Macy bumped my shoulder and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Biting my lip, I hissed at her to stop it before focusing on the target, letting the two knives in my hand fly in rapid succession. They both hit bullseye, less than an inch apart and Macy grunted, shoving me away roughly. "Showoff."
I flashed her my brightest grin, knowing she wasn't really mad while Marlene started squeaking behind us. Uriah was tickling her mercilessly making her cry with laughter.
"If you´re all done with annoying the hell out of me, may we proceed to do what we all came here for?" Lynn glared at us, face agitated. We all exchanged subtle looks, turning towards the stairs complying with her commands. We were all used to her antics but knew not to egg her on, even more, when she was like this. I shrugged my shoulders and started walking while Macy floated over to her, always ready to play mediator.
She threw her arm over Lynn´s shoulder and pulled her closer, her walk turning bouncy. "Calm down, tiger."
Pushing Macy away, Lynn glared at her but I saw that the fierceness in her expression slowly vanishing. "How about you go fuck yourself."
"Sure, but only if you watch." Winking at her, Macy pushed the door open exposing the narrow hallway behind. I let out a loud laugh, while Uriah fake gagged looking distraught by the sudden change of topic. We all knew not to take their banter seriously but when they were like that it was hard.
After conquering the steep stairs, we found ourselves on the roof above the training room, not far from where we´d get off the train tomorrow after choosing to jump into the net. The others walked over to the closet where we stored a few cushions for occasions like this, lost in conversation while I made my way to the waist high wall that separated us from the several stories deep drop.
Bracing myself on the stones, I let my gaze wander over the slowly crumbling buildings, asking myself once again how they used to look at night, brightly illuminated, housing thousands upon thousands of people.
The only building lit at night now was the erudite headquarters in the heart of the city. They worked 24/7, noses buried deep in their labs and abnegation was kind enough to allow them to spend so much electricity while the rest of the factions had a curfew, all the lights shutting off, being replaced by small solar lamps that illuminated everything in a strange blue glow. It always made the hallways seem eerie quiet, a nightmare for people who were afraid of the dark like Marlene was.
She´d never admit it, but the dark corners in our compound terrified her.
I brought up the topic several times that since dauntless liked to party and most members were nocturnal anyway, we´d benefit from better lighting greatly but Eric always says they have more important things to handle than worrying about lamps.
As if torturing his inferiors took that much time.
I was pulled from my amusing thoughts of Eric letting his subordinates cater to his every whim, him laying on a chaise lounge being hand fed grapes when someone came up beside me, leaning against my shoulder. I didn't have to look over to know it was Uriah, his frame towering above mine.
"You alright?" He questioned quietly, his head turned towards me while my gaze was still glued to the skyline, admiring the architecture.
"Sure." Sending him a reassuring smile, I leaned into him happy he took the time to come over. In response, Uriah slung his arm around my shoulder, shaking me a little until I started laughing.
"So you´re not worried about tomorrow?" He inquired quietly, for once staying serious despite the genuine smile on his smile.
"Should I be? Worried, I mean. I know where I belong but there´s still that little part of me that´s hesitant. I don´t think you ever can be 100 percent certain of a faction but shouldn't I be?"
Letting out a breath, Uriah was quiet for a few moments, letting me know that he carefully contemplated what to say for once. "I understand what you´re trying to say but you´ll never be fully content with either of the factions, except you deflect to amity and pump yourself full of peace serum. I mean I´d love to set fire to the labs in erudite but leaving my family and all my friends behind wouldn't be worth it, you know?"
I chuckled quietly, the thought of Uriah wreaking havoc in erudite while Jeanine Matthews was running after him, face blotched by the exertion, chased all my worries away. Thankful for his presence, I pulled him into an embrace, his arms around me as familiar as the ones of my brother.
"No, you´re definitely not allowed to become a nose. I forbaded it."
"You what?" Uriah laughed, his chest rumbling. "Let´s hope your fighting is better than your grammar otherwise you´ll have to become a grey. You know, since they don´t have to have any talents or whatsoever."
"You´re such an idiot." Shaking my head, I pushed away from him just as Marlene called for us to come over. They had arranged the pillows into a circle, Uriah and I taking the last available ones, he between Marlene and Macy, while I sat on her other side with Lynn, who was busy lighting the joint while also fiddling with her new septum. Why she had even bothered to get it, even though it annoyed the hell out of her and would come back to bite her in the ass when we´d fight, I had no idea. But arguing with Lynn was never a good idea so I stayed quiet, letting her annoyance fuel my amusement and accepted the joint Macy handed me, already close to being stoned. She´s a lightweight.
We did this quite often, just sitting on the roof, smoking, and drinking while listening to Uriah´s embarrassing but hilarious stories. Taking a swing from the bottle we passed around, I almost choked on my laughter as I told him how exactly all my brother´s boxer shorts disappeared in favor for pink thongs in a fortunate accident.
After that one, I had to camp at Eric´s for two day´s straight, too scared I´d be murdered if Aiden found me. After all, the was quite the shooter.
It was only trumped by a video of Zeke´s drunkenly mistaking a rather skinny guy with long hair for a chick he could hit up at one of his infamous parties. The video of them making out had stirred the rumor mill not insignificantly but the best part of it was, that Zeke only realized that something was very wrong when he felt something hard on his leg. Spoiler alert: it wasn't a bottle.
At this point, I was almost crying and I knew it had nothing to do with the slight fuzzy feeling inside my head.
Laying on my back, I searched for Macy´s hand on the gravel, squeezing lightly when she intertwined our fingers. Staring into the sky, I brushed the tears of laughter away, grateful for the people surrounding me. Uriah was right, there was no way you would ever find this kind of solidarity in any of the other factions.
After all, this was home.
.
.
.
"You´re going to wear that?" Marlene scrunched up her face, looking down as if Lynn´s pants personally offended her.
"Yeah, what´s wrong with it?" Lynn brushed off her combat pants, her boots still muddy from when it rained three days ago.
"Everything´s wrong with it for our last party as dependents! Here, try this." Rummaging through her closet, Marlene pulled out a pile of fabric and threw it in Lynn´s direction. Macy only snorted when it landed right on Lynn´s shaved head, too busy playing with her phone to really pay attention.
I, on the other hand, anticipated Lynn´s next movements with a morbid curiosity, my mind already imagining her in the piece of fabric, sitting at the bar drinking like a sailor.
Pulling the dress off her head, Lynn stared at it in horror.
It was a tiny, black number that gave revealing a whole new meaning. I´m not even sure it would have covered her ass completely.
Snorting, I leaned forward waiting for –
"Hell, no." She scowled, tossing it right back. – just what I guessed.
"Fine! I give up." Marlene cried out, throwing her arms in the air in an attempt to vent her frustration. Rolling my eyes, I got up from my spot on the bed where I´ve been waiting for them to choose a simple outfit for the last twenty minutes.
I took one look into the closet before tossing Lynn a pair of skinny jeans and a flowing, backless top. She looked cautious at first but then threw me a thankful look that made Marlene scowl. "That´s so boring."
"We´ve been waiting for ages, so shut up." Narrowing her eyes at me, Marlene got up from the floor, hands on her hips the way she always ripped into Uriah. I matched her stare with one of my own until she slowly started to crack, her lips turning upwards.
"Dammit!" She cursed when I smirked at her, pushing me away to get to her vanity inspecting her makeup one last time. I watched her bemused for a few moments before turning to the mirror door of her closet.
I had opted for hot pants and an airy top, much like the one I had given to Lynn, hoping that a certain someone would be discouraged to drag me away by the lack of easy access. My brown hair flowed in loose waves just till under my ribs, the only change being the fire-red tips. I simply loved my hair too much to shave it off or color it completely like most dauntless did.
The low cleavage of my top only just showed a glimpse of the maze tattoo that runs mid-torso while the shorts exposed the piece that covered almost my whole leg with such an intricate design like only Tori would manage to produce.
When I turned to inspect my backside, Lynn finally came back wearing the things I gave her, paired with her dirty combat boots which earned her a snort from Macy who begrudgingly got off the spot on the bed. We all piled out of Marlene´s room, successfully avoiding her mother that often smothered us to death. Even though I loved her like my own, she could be a tad overbearing, so when Marlene told her we were running late to the party in the pit she luckily let us go after we had to promise to come back soon.
We talked about nothing important on our way to the pit and were almost there when Four came walking towards us in a hallway, wearing his usual brooding expression. I didn't pay him much attention, knowing that neither my brother nor Eric liked him very much. Usually, it wasn't hard considering he didn't even acknowledge my existence but this time he stepped in my way, his face turning when possible even more stony. "Casey."
Looking up in bewilderment, I didn't realize that the others had stopped too, eying us suspiciously. They all knew of Aiden´s dislike towards him, stemming most likely from Eric´s resentment that a stiff managed to outdo him in the final rankings.
Four noticed their staring too, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes, before addressing them. "You can leave, Casey will catch up with you in the pit."
Macy looked hesitant, Marlene confused and Lynn simply bored, picking at her cuticles. But I didn't miss the slight glint in her eyes that told me she wasn't as eager to leave as she pretended to be.
"I´ll see you soon." Giving a tight smile I gestured for them to go on, turning towards the so-called dauntless prodigy.
"Alright." Scrunching up her eyebrows, Macy slowly followed the others, throwing looks over her shoulder. Four waited until they rounded the corner before he spoke up again, his words more of a command than a request. "Come on."
I hesitated for a second, watching his back as he walked away from me but with one look he had me scrambling after him, arms still crossed defiantly. If Eric found out I followed number boy without hesitation he wouldn't be happy. Not in the slightest.
We walked in silence, his steps so long that I had to make two for every one he took. That's why I didn't realize where he was leading me until we came to the office part of the compound that was suspiciously quiet this time of the night. Scrunching my face up in confusion, I came to a halt refusing to take another step without knowing where he was leading me.
"You know, if you wanted to kill me, the chasm is in the other direction." I spoke up, pointing right my thumb over my shoulder to the right path. Raising an eyebrow, Four obviously didn't appreciate my sarcasm.
"Sure, now come on." Four rolled his eyes, turning away.
"No."
"No?" He questioned incredulously, raising his eyebrows at me.
"I´m not following you around like a lost puppy. For all, I know you´re going to hide my body in the incineration plant and I´m so not ready to die yet, I just perfected my roundhouse kick."
"For god´s sake." Four cursed, pulling his hair. "I´m not going to murder you so calm the fuck down."
"Well, then what the hell am I doing here? Because right now my ultimate demise is the only thing that would make sense."
He blinked twice, irritation clear on his face he watched me closely before coming to the conclusion that I wouldn't take one step further without making a fuss. "Max wants to see you and he doesn't want anyone to know so you better hurry up."
"What? Why would he…?" I started but Four interrupted me harshly, his posture rigid.
"Listen, I don´t even know why he asked me to fetch you when there´s someone much more obvious." He shot me a look that made it clear he knew and I blushed, realizing he most likely was in the control room during one of Eric and I´s meetings. "All I know is, that he wants to see you so let´s go."
Biting my cheek, I merely nodded earning me an aggravated grunt. Four wasted no second in picking up his pace and this time I followed obediently, my mind whirling with the possibilities of the situation, raking from bad to really, really bad.
Was it because Uri and I stole those three cakes last week and Steve, the cook ratted us out? The time we hacked into the control room and broadcasted a video of Harrison singing in the shower?
Or worse… did he found out that Eric and I were seeing each other and he was now telling me to end things before initiation?
But if that's the cause, why didn't he talk to Eric about it instead of calling a dependent for a secret meeting?
The closer we got to the office, the more I got the feeling that something wasn't quite right here.
A few moments later, Four stopped in front of Max´ office that was conveniently just three doors down from Eric´s, who I hoped had already gone home.
Or maybe it would be better if he was here, then at least I had someone on my side of anything went wrong.
I didn't realize how lost I was in my thoughts until Four cleared his throat, gesturing towards the door. Throwing him a tight smile, I was surprised to see his face soften ever so slightly in response. He pressed down on the handle, slowly pushing the door open. "Everything´s going to be okay."
His quiet words somehow managed to comfort me, the anxiety ebbing a little. That was until he really opened the door and I was greeted by not only Max waiting for me but a blonde woman by his side. One I only knew from afar.
Freezing, I looked up to Four who seemed as startled as me when our eyes met but he masked his expression carefully before either of them could notice the shock. He stayed in the doorways, posture tense.
I wasn't as successful at hiding my emotions, my smile anything but sincere when Max turned towards us, wearing a paternal expression that looked foreign on his usually stern face. Jeanine Matthews, on the other hand, stayed as stoical as always, rigid as a stick, hands clasped in front of her, eyes always searching, analyzing.
"Casey." Max took a step away from his desk that was overflowing with papers. His office didn't possess the immaculate order Eric´s always held, the one I was used to. "We were already waiting for you, come on in." He gave me another smile that wasn't as genuine as he tried to make it look, before turning towards the man behind me, his brow furrowing slightly when he realized that he was still there. "Four, why don´t you close the door on your way out?"
I hesitated to step in, the prospect of being locked inside a room with these two terrifying but a large hand on the low of my back gently pushed me forwards and I turned my head towards Four who gave me an almost unnoticeable nod. Begging him with my eyes not to go and leave me alone with the two most powerful people in this city, I saw a hint of regret hush over his face but he stepped back closed the door nonetheless, effectively quenching every ounce of hope I had to escape.
"Why don´t you take a seat?" Max asked, trying to be courteous, diverting my attention away from the door and once again to the woman beside him who watched me with her hawk-like eyes. "We have a lot to discuss." I´m not sure I liked where this was going.
"There´s something we need your help with."
No, I didn't like it.
Not at all.
.
.
.
I all but stumbled back out of the door, every single information I had been feed with the last 45 minutes making my head reel until I was too dizzy to even appreciate being away from them. In my dazed state, I didn't even spot the tall figure leaning against the wall until he grabbed my arm, turning me towards him.
"Casey, is everything alright?" Looking up, I was almost surprised to see the deep blue eyes of Four watching me concerned while steering me further away from the office. "What did they want?" I almost stumbled on the uneven floor but his hand on my upper arm kept me upright, pulling me further along, away from my doom. Or further towards it.
"What? Oh, yeah. Everything´s okay…"
"Really?" Four asked sarcastically, pulling me into an empty room that looked very much like an old classroom. "So, you just didn't hear me the first three times I called your name because everything is so okay?"
His patronizing tone hit a sore spot in my chest and I narrowed my eyes at him, my surrounding becoming clearer. "So what if I´m not alright?"
"I want to know what Jeanine Matthews was doing here out of all people!" Raising his voice, Four narrowed his eyes at me, searching. "What did she say to you?"
"Did it occur to you that maybe that's none of your fucking business?" I finally snapped, the weight that had settled on my chest half an hour ago slamming all the breath out of me at last. Bracing my hands on my knees, I let my head hang down whole trying to breathe through the knot in my chest choking me up. Gripping the base of my throat, I squeezed, trying to make it all go away.
A hand tentatively touching my back startled me so much that I slapped it away on instinct, turning to hiss at Four who raised both of his hands in a calming gesture, shocked by my sudden movements. "Don´t touch me!"
Raking my hands through my hair, I knew that there was only one person I wanted to see right now. I had to see him.
Dodging the hand that came my way, I glared at Four the resentment wasn't aimed at him but it´d do it. "Just keep whatever the hell this is to you."
Without sparing him a last glance, I hurried out of the room leaving Four back to piece together what had just occurred behind closed doors.
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My fingers trembled as I entered the code to his apartment, knowing he´d want to sign off the rest of his paperwork before going down to the pit. At least I hoped he was there. For the second time, I pushed in the wrong number, cursing myself when the panel lit up red, signaling that the access was denied.
Taking a deep breath, I repeated the motions slowly and was careful to hit the right ones this time.
The light finally turned green and I burst into the room, frantically searching for the man who had the answer to everything. I slammed the door shut, the sound reverberating through the whole apartment.
Eric came storming out of his office a moment later, the alert expression changing to one of confusion the moment he spotted me in his living room. I barely noticed that he was shirtless, as I ran towards him, winding my arms around his neck. He tried to say something but my lips on his swallowed every sound.
Eric didn't hesitate for long, hosting me up by my hips. I slung my legs around his midsection, fingers buried in his hair, tugging harshly while his dug into the flesh of my thighs, keeping me upright. The more of his bare skin touched mine, the looser got the knot in my chest making it easier to breathe.
Losing myself in the pressure of his lips on mine, teeth clashing Eric bit my lip, stumbling into his bedroom. He dropped me onto the bed, letting himself fall on top of me, body contact never breaking, he pressed open-mouthed kisses to my neck and up my jaw. I raked my nails over his back, making Eric groan throatily, scrambling to get out of his clothes. Mirroring his movements, my shirt landed on the floor, soon followed by my shorts until I was bare in front of him.
Not just my body but my whole being.
Eric scooted me up on the bed until I was against the headboard, lips never leaving mine he pulled me under him, lining himself up to impale me, making me whole. I could feel his muscles clench under my calves and I prepared myself for the thrust I knew was coming but he hesitated the last second, pulling back.
"Condom." He murmured against my hungry lips, starting to untangle himself from my grip to lean over to open a drawer in his nightstand.
The loss of his warmth on my skin almost hurt physically so I grabbed his arm, pulling him back to me, flipping us around with the momentum of my legs around his hips. Surprised by my sudden movement, Eric stilled leaning against the headboard. Using my chance, I straddled him, lining his length up against my opening before pushing down harshly, burying him inside me to the hilt.
We both groaned at the sudden stimulation, his member inside me almost painfully deep as he clung to me. Rocking my hips, slowly at first but getting faster, I leaned forwards capturing his lips in a searing kiss.
Eric responded eagerly, one hand tangling in my hair, pulling my head back while he started lifting me up and down with his other. I let him guide my movements, leaning my forehead against his, eyes closed, our breaths mingling between us. Leaning down, Eric´s teeth found my collarbone, marking me once again as his. He pulled back, immediately soothing the sharp sting with soft caresses of his tongue while I threw my head back, clenching the muscles of my core around him.
In search for some sort of support, I clung to his shoulders, the tensing and releasing of his muscles beneath me sweet torture as he pulled me down onto him again and again, until I didn't know anymore where I ended and he begun.
But with every rocking of our hips that brought us closer to bliss, the choking feeling in my chest grew until I shattered, looking deep into his hauntingly grey eyes, a lone tear running down my cheek. Eric followed not a second later, eyes closing he let out a low groan and I felt him twitching inside me, his arms around my hips trying to pull me even closer to him.
I wished to disappear in him, letting his passion consume my whole being.
Coming down from his high, Eric relaxed his grip on me, fingers running up and down my spine. I let myself fall onto the mattress beside him, facing the window my back towards him.
Feeling the shift on the mattress, Eric´s heavy, tattooed forearm landed on my hips as he shuffled closer, pulling my back into his broad chest. His ribcage rumbled as he let out a small chuckle, brushing the sweaty hair away from my face as he leaned over me.
"Aww, did I make you cry?" His sarcastic voice was smug, elated by the thought that his cock made me weep in joy.
Shaking my head, I snorted mustering up the courage to turn around. Burying my head in his chest, I breathed in deeply. He smelled like sex and cigarettes, something that had grown so deeply familiar to me over the last year. Raking my head for an excuse, I placed my hand on his v-line. "You wish. I´m just… drunk."
"I figured." I didn't have to look up to see him rolling his eyes, the amusement shining through his words. "You´re only that horny when you´re drunk."
"Shut up." Swatting his bare chest, I got distracted and started tracing the lines of strongly defined muscles while Eric played with the red tips of my hair, his fingers ever so often brushing against bare skin. We were silent for a moment, just taking each other in.
"Eric…?" The only indication that he heard me was a soft grunt, his eyes closed. "You know, I love you."
Cracking one eye open, Eric furrowed his brow as he stared down at me. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed the back of my head and pushed it back down onto his chest effectively putting a halt to the conversation. "Just go to sleep, Cas."
Watching him for a moment, I reveled at how relaxed he seemed, nothing left from the usual tenseness of his posture. I wish he was always like this, so carefree and happy instead of annoyed and angry. He was a whole other Eric, the one only a selected few ever got to see.
Suddenly I felt the overwhelming honor of being here with him, the most private area of his life. He had invited me in and for the first time, I realized that he was truly okay with me being here while we was at his most vulnerable.
So I choose to let the topic go.
"Okay." Smiling sadly, I pressed a kiss to his skin, closing my eyes, wishing this moment to stay forever.
Half an hour later, I pulled my top back on, knowing that my friends would send out a search party if I didn't show up to the pit soon. Eric was sleeping soundly on his back, his breathing even, arms sprawled out.
It had been a chore to get out of his hold, his arm curled around me but after all, I knew how to do it.
Fully clothed, I took a seat on the edge of the mattress, just watching him sleep for god knows how long. At one point, he stretched out one arm, patting the other side of the bed as if he was searching for something.
That was when I knew that I had to leave if I didn't want to wake him up. So I reluctantly stood, bending down to kiss his forehead, running my fingers through his hair I admired how soft it was compared to how he usually styled it. He must have had a shower earlier.
I was startled out of my reverie when he suddenly steered, his hand coming up to grab mine. "Cas?" He asked sleepily, eyes still closed.
"It´s okay, I´m here."
Grumbling something incomprehensible, Eric turned over letting go of me. He grabbed his blanket, pulling it higher up making me smile.
Letting out a breath, I slowly walked backward, gaze glued to his sleeping form, his muscles defined even through a layer of fabric.
Knowing that I had to leave sooner or later, I gave him one last lingering look like I had done not even 24 hours prior before slowly making my way out of his flat, the chasm inside my chest growing with every step I took away from him.
Away from my shelter, away from my love.
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My friends had been waiting for me in the pit, demanding an explanation why I had been gone for so long and what Four, who was standing to the side with Zeke watching me closely, wanted. I told them that he needed me to tell my brother something about patrols but that I had been distracted by lover boy, how they called the guy I was seeing not knowing it was the leader they all were afraid of.
Except of course Macy who grinned smugly and Lynn who pretended to puke into her drink, while she was being her normal anti-social self.
I only stayed as long as expected from me before making up the excuse that my mother wanted to see me. Something about family time and choosing tomorrow. They all believed me, even though I got a few strange glances when I left the pit not only an hour after arriving.
The most prominent being a pair of deep blue eyes.
In reality, I went back onto the roof, took out our pillows and spent most of my last night as a dependent thinking about the plan Max and Jeanine had shared with me earlier while staring at the skyline wishing it was, for once, illuminated. As if those lights would make it all disappear.
There´s something we need your help with.
You´re the only one that can help.
Your responsibility to this faction… your family.
It`s a secret.
Don´t tell anyone.
It was only when the sun had risen that I had gotten up, put the things away and went back home to shower and dress appropriately for the choosing ceremony. I choose simple black jeans and an almost modest top, paired with my usual combat boots. My hair was braided back in fishtail style, the makeup only consisting of a little black eyeliner and mascara.
I didn't even have a chance to eat breakfast since my shower had run so late and before I knew it, I was on the train squished between my parents and brother, half of the faction on their way to the ceremony.
The leaders had been gone all morning and since it was dauntless year to host, Max and Eric would be the ones on the stage. And they already were when we came in, conversing with the other leaders and amity´s representative.
Eric gave me an almost invisible nod, raising one eyebrow when I only smiled back weakly, face turning thoughtful when Max clasped his back. Eric listened attentively to his superior before walking away, grabbing the basket full of knives.
Time seemed to fly by as the rest of the factions arrived, filling up the seats in the circular room until it looked like half of the city was gathered in the hub.
They called for silence and Max started his speech about how the 18-year-olds were the future of this city, the same shit Marcus Eaton had said when it was my brother´s turn to choose.
I asked myself if that was really what he believed and if it was the reason why they came to me when they had the resources of the two most powerful factions to their open avail.
Max´ speech was short, straight to the point and before long he started calling the names of the dependents up to the stage, Eric handing them the knife while Max shouted out their faction of choosing, followed by them applauding.
I didn't bother listening to the names I didn't know, only smiling when it was my friends turn to choose.
Uriah acted like an idiot, almost falling on his way to the stage but the proud smile when his blood met the coals managed to make us all chuckle after we had applauded him of course. Lynn let the blood drop down and came back to our sector as if it hadn't mattered to her at all, while Marlene basically floated to the stage.
Macy beamed with pride when Max called dauntless, the joy only being overshadowed by Greg, a dauntless who I didn't know that well, choosing amity.
The angry murmur going through our lines raked shivers down my spine because I knew dauntless would never speak of him again, his deflection a shame to his family.
The most shocking thing that happened though were two greys deflecting right after each other, one to erudite and the skinny girl choosing dauntless. For her own sake, I hope she knew what she was doing because the sneer of distaste on Eric´s face told me enough to know he´d be targeting her specifically.
This observation managed to distract me enough to not hear my own name being called. My brother´s hand shoving me gently to stand up managed to make my heart rate spike as I shuffled through the rows, only my mother´s `I love you´ and my father's reassuring touch giving me the strength to walk up to the podium with the five bowls.
Biting my lip, I accepted the knife Eric handed me ignoring the inquisitive gaze as I looked deep into his eyes. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly and I knew he knew that something wasn't quite right with me. Wasn't quite right with that situation.
He implied with one look that I should be careful what I was doing, his expression freezing when I lowered my eyes.
Letting out a deep breath, I walked over to where the dauntless bowl stood right next to the abnegation bowl. The familiar weight of the knife in my hand was reassuring to some extent and I positioned it on my palm, pressing down until a small trickle of blood gathered in the palm of my hand.
Turning around one last time, I looked over to Eric who urged me with one look to hurry up, and to Max who only winked once, the message clear.
With a heavy heart, I turned around, stretching out my arm, letting my blood fall onto stone.
It was deadly quiet, everyone holding their breath for a second before Max´ booming voice echoed through the room.
"Abnegation."
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For everyone wondering why I haven't updated Ptp yet… this is the reason :D Another Eric fic!
I really hope you like it!
I basically have most of the plot planned out but don´t know how frequent I´ll update since I want to finish ptp first, I already started the next chapter so don´t worry! :)
This one may become quite dark in the future so read with caution. I´m sure you´re wondering why the hell Casey would go to abnegation & what´s Max´& Jeanine´s plan is.. All I can say is that they´re up to no good..
Thank you for reading & it would mean so much to me hearing if you like it since I'm always self-conscious about new works & still have to find a way to write Casey authentically :)