Flashbacks and Children

by LiveFearlessly

Dean gets shown the true side of a demon named Andy who shows him the current and past life of the girl he loves.

My name is Dean Winchester and the life that I use to live is one that you would never expect a 28 year old to have had, nor one of good quality. I dont get paid for what I do and I mostly just get bad luck. There are probably lots of questions running through your mind at this moment. One is what the hell is my job? Two is, if I dont get paid, how do I live life? and the third and final am i crazy? Well I can answer all of those. One is simple, I am a hunter...but I urge to reconsider tossing hunting into your hobbies list. I hunt supernatural. I bet you the third question is really the main question on your mind now. No, I am not crazy. The only answer left to answer is question two. I am going to come straight out and say it, I run credit card scams; lots of them too. Well, technically it's not my fault; me and my brother just apply, they send us the cards. Speaking of my brother, his name is Sam and by first glance you would know that we are brothers but if you actually talk to us, you will think that we are so far from relation. I mean sure Sammy and I saw a few of the same things unintentionally but Sam is more of the "knowledge to college, Im more of the "Metallica to Impala" type. Anyway, I had one serious girlfriend in my life and I wanted nothing more then to be with her but unfortunately, hunting required lots of moving around. That is how I grew up, Sammy, my dad and I travelled the country. Not only mine, but my girlfriends heart got broken, and I became pretty much anti social shortly after. Her name was Carrie Underwood and she was the love of my life. We were 17 and so much in love that we were at the "willing to go to the ends of the earth for each other" phase which was apparently the last phase...at least that's what other young couples in love said. Both of my parents passed on so it is just me and my brother now.

Dean was walking to his car when he felt a hard blow to the back of his head. He immediately fell into unconsciousness and the attacker stood looking over his prey.
Dean woke up to feel the fibre of the rope tying his hands behind his back. He looked up to find a human...with red eyes. He just smiled and shook his head.
"Should have known it was a damn demon."
The demon who went by the name of Andy just laughed, "Well someone sure seems full of them self."
"Oh, might that be you?"
"Well you can relax, im not gonna hurt you."
"Oh that's comforting but sorry sweetheart, you aren't the first demon to be able to act."
"I understand you had a...young teenage fling and I underline fling boldly."
Deans smile faded off his face because he wondered if the demon had hurt Carrie in any way, shape or form.
"Now before you have a heart attack, she is fine. I didn't touch, talk to or even see her in any way...but there are some...casualties in your relationship with her. Let's go, shall we?"
"Oh I know where you're going soon, but where the hell do you think your taking me?" She cut him free and snapped her fingers and suddenly Deans surroundings changed completely. He was no longer in a dark, dirty cement floored, room but standing in a parking lot. Andy pointed to Deans left and Dean followed his pointing. He saw him and Carrie hugging.
"Im gonna miss you so much." she said still holding him.
"I know but listen to me, your strong, you really are. You can get through anything if you want to."
"Im scared...of not being with you."
"Baby that will never happen. No matter if I am thousands of miles away, I will always remain somewhere special..." He took her hand and placed it over her heart. Then she hugged him once more for good measure.
"This is my last day with her," Dean said as the demon nodded. And then Dean got into what used to be his fathers but now is his, black 1967 Chevy Impala. Then the Impala drove off. Then he saw Carrie just standing still and when she finally walked over to her car, he could see that she was crying. Then she just dropped to the ground crying. Dean tried to run over to her but the demon held him back.
"You wanna alter the past? Cause if you do, I can tell you, there is a possibility one of you will die." Dean stopped. Then after about a minute, Carrie got up and got into her black Cobalt and drove off. Then the demon snapped its fingers again and they appeared in a house that Dean recognized...Carries. He followed Andy up the stairs and he knew where they were headed which was Carries room. When they walked into the room, she was just lying on her bed sullenly and they both knew exactly why. Then Carries father Mark walked into the room.
"Hey baby girl. I made your favourite supper downstairs."
"Oh thanks dad…but Im not hungry." she replied.
"Honey, listen to me," he said as he sat down on her bed, "I know that you miss Dean; I do, trust me, but you shouldn't waste your life away."
"But daddy, I loved him."
"Hon, you love him, love isn't past tense, love is never gonna be past tense sweetheart."

"Mark always knew the right thing to say." Said Dean quietly.

"And I know that when you watch someone you love walk away, it may seem like the world is over but its not. The world is never gonna end and neither is love that you two share alright. Even if you get married to a completely different guy, there is always gonna be that little piece of you that belongs to Dean and vice versa with him."
"Well daddy, I just dont know if I can handle it...not having him around is about as painful as a knife cutting out my heart."
"Baby, listen to me. You are strong; you can get through anything that you put your mind to. Love may not always work out Carrie but that's what makes it so powerful. It's not all about the two beholders of love, its there ability to be one. The way you can handle hardships Carrie; that shows how strong you really are. Now if you aren't even gonna try, how do you expect to show your strength?"
"I hate it when you go all twisted sentimental on me." She said.
Dean smiled and then the demon snapped its fingers, "Lets skip ahead, shall we?"
Then they found their selves still in Carries room but it was night time and there was one big difference between her previous room and this one...there was a baby crib in it. Dean walked over to the crib and looked in. Inside was what should be expected, a baby. Dean looked at a sleeping Carrie and then to the little baby then the same process but his eyes landed on a red eyed Andy.
"This baby came approximately 9 months after you left." Dean was speechless and thats when the baby began crying. A light turned on and he looked over to find Carries lamp had been switched on and she was now getting out of bed looking tired. She walked over to the crib and picked up the little baby.
"Ben, honey, mommy's got classes tomorrow." She began rocking the baby but he continued to cry. Then her bedroom light turned on and her father walked in. "Here baby, you get some sleep. You got a big day tomorrow. Ill take care of Ben."
"Oh daddy, I can't let you do that for me."
"Yes you can baby. Its okay, I dont got anything to do tomorrow. Just go to sleep." He took Ben and she kissed him on the head. Then she went back to bed. Dean couldn't help but smile at the sacrifices Carrie and Mark were willing to take but that smile faded as he realized now that it took 9 months to have a baby and Andy said this one came 9 months after he left...he had a son.
**Snap**
Dean and Andy arrived at a building with a big camera and a blue background and a young child being held up by a chair.
"Ben is 5 months." As Dean watched his child smile and cry and smile once again, he realized how truly happy he was to have witnessed it and when he looked at Carrie, looking beautiful in her skirt, t-shirt and flat shoes with her hair curled, he realized just how much he loved her.
**Snap**
"God, do you have to do that when I am really into something?"
"Course, now in this one, Ben is 1, almost 2."
Now they were in the Underwood's living room where a lonely Ben was sitting. Then Ben put his toy down and attempted to get up but he fell down. Just then, Carrie walked in wearing a sun dress and flats with her hair straight. She put down her books and water and then said, "Uh oh, mommy forgot her notebook, Ill be right back sweetheart." She kissed the child's head and said, "You be a good boy alright." and walked off. Then Ben tried to get up again but he fell. Then he just sat there looking sad. Dean looked at the demon and the demon nodded.

"Go ahead." Dean stepped forward and extended his hand to the boy. He took Dean's hand and stood up. Then Dean carefully let go and Ben took a step...another...a third. Dean backed up and smiled and he could feel the tears building. Then Carrie walked in and gasped. She smiled and tears came down her face, tears of joy as she watched her little boy's first steps. "Daddy!" Her father ran in and saw. He smiled and they both watched happily. Then Ben walked right up to Carrie.
"Mama, love. Daddy." Ben said pointing to where Dean was. Carrie and Mark looked confused because all they saw was nothing. Then Ben put out his arms and Carrie picked him up. Dean smiled and suddenly felt like there was a big piece of him that had just grown back.
**Snap**
"Before you freak out on me...dont. Ben is 4 years old." Andy said.
Now Carrie was in jeans with boots and a nice coat with her hair in its normal wavy way. "Bye baby." She said waving to the little boy who was already looking like Dean had when he was younger.
"Bye mommy." Carrie blew a kiss to her son and walked off. Ben was sitting there playing with toys and talking to other little boys but mainly girls which resembled Dean a lot.
**Snap**
"7 years old."
Now Ben was at the park running around with Mark. Then they got ice cream and sat on the nearest bench. Dean and Andy were in hearing range. "Grandpa, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure thing little man, what is it?"
"It's about...never mind."
"Ben, you can ask me anything."
"It's about my dad."
"Oh...well shoot."
"Really?"
"Well dont...really shoot anything but...you know...talk."
Dean and Ben smiled, "Well I know that mom is never gonna tell me who he is so can you tell me what he's like? I cant stop thinking that what if I am making my dad unhappy or he's not proud of me."
"Well Ben, to start off, I know your father would be proud of you. Uh, your father was a good man, real good. If I wanted your mom to be with any guy, it would be him. He was sweet and never once did I see him mistreat your mom."
"Really? Well then why did he leave? I always thought that that was my fault."
"Look Ben, it's complicated alright, it's definitely not your fault, its no ones fault. But your father had to leave...he had something he needed to finish."
"Yeah well, he left my mom, that doesn't exactly make him a generous man."
"To set things straight, your father was a great man, and you are like him in so many ways."
"Really?"
"Yeah, just like him."
"Well I know mom is just trying to protect me but why can't she at least tell me his name. If I ever say the words "my" and "dad" in the same sentence, she will change the subject."
"Well that's cause once your fall in love, you never forget there face...you know, and it probably hurts to think about him."
"I get bugged a lot because I dont have a dad and I never will. I just wanted to know that he had good stuff in him...but what I dont understand now, is if mom and dad really loved each other, why did she let dad leave and why did dad leave?"
"You know Ben...wanna go rent a game or something?"
"...sure," Ben replied following Mark.
"How could I hurt so many people without realizing it?" said Dean who was now not only experiencing feelings of shock and love but sadness as well.

"Sometimes we are so set on something in life, we dont step back to realize what is truly important and maybe right in front of us." Dean could not believe what he seeing but just as much, he couldn't believe what he was hearing from Andy. Demons were common in his daily life and the most important rule him, his father and his brother all learned was not to trust a demon…they lie; but here was this one single demon stating the truth about everything.

**Snaps**

Dean now found himself watching Carrie who was watching a movie. The movie appeared to scare her lots because she looked away a whole lot.

"When is this?"

"This is current time."

"This is happening right now?"

"Yeah." Carrie had her hair in a straight down pony tail. Then there was a knock on her door and she got off the couch and headed for the door. She opened it up and it was her father. She allowed him in and he said, "Hi baby girl,"

"Hi daddy, ill go upstairs and get it alright?"

"Sure." She walked upstairs and into her room. She was wearing colourful polka dot shorts with a t shirt and pink slipper boots. She went towards the closet and reached for a box on the top shelf. After a few attempts, she finally got it down but the box, which was directly overtop of the one she wanted, fell to the ground with a loud clatter against the cold hardwood flooring.

"Damn it."

"Baby girl, I would love to stay but I gotta go pick up your brother from the airport."

"Yeah, im coming." She reached for the box, grabbed it and ran downstairs. She handed it to her father and he kissed her on the head. "Good night and Ben says goodnight."

"Tell him I love him, and I love you too, night daddy."

Then her father walked out the door and she went back upstairs to clean up the box and its contents. She knelt down and Dean knelt right beside her and even though he knew that she couldn't see, hear, or even feel his presence, he felt once again like this was the part of him that he had been missing all of those years. She tipped the box upright and she picked up a picture. In the picture were none other then Dean holding Carrie and someone taking the picture. They both looked happy and complete with each other; smiling. In another one, they were caught up in a gaze and someone took the photo in black and white. Carrie put her hand across her mouth and the tears fell down her beautiful soft skin and dropped onto the picture. Dean carefully placed his hand on her hand and she gasped. She stared at her hand and saw nothing but she could feel Dean there. He let go of her hand and she stared for a moment and then touched her hand. After about a minute of feeling her hand, she had put the pictures back in and was picking up the rest. He saw her carefully place in all of the other symbolic items. For example, a necklace that he had made for her with the letters "D" and "C" on it and with a heart shaped charm as well. Also, teddy bear that he had gotten her; he said that the teddy bear would make her feel secure and always have a piece of him. The teddy bear was the one object that Carrie didn't put back into the box. She put in some more pictures, lots of pictures actually and then she just stared at the box and that's when Dean saw what was written on it and he soon remembered when they had made that box. The box was covered with words like "Dean", "Carrie" and phrases like, "Learn, Live, Love" and heart shapes all over. As he watched Carrie who was still clinging onto the bear, and crying, his feelings redeemed themselves. Then Carrie threw the bear against the wall and the room was left quiet once again. She stayed in the same place, as did Dean and the demon. Everything remained the same until Dean said, "Can we go?" The demon nodded giving Dean mercy.

…

**Snap**

Dean awoke lying on the cold, hard concrete and when he looked at his surroundings, he saw his car behind him and found out that he was on the road. He got up and wondered if what he had just seen was all real. It was possible that the demon was lying just to save itself. Dean didn't know what to believe and there were very few times he didn't know what to believe. He got into his car and drove to the motel he was staying at with Sam. He walked into the room and saw Sam was already packing.

"Hey dude, where have you been?"

"What do you mean?"

"You left about 5 hours ago."

"Oh…I fell asleep at the library…shocker there huh? Anyway, you find a new case?"

"No," Sam replied with an unchanging tone.

"Good, cause I know where were going."

"You found a case."

"I guess you could say that." Said Dean who was smiling. He did in fact know where they were going. He was going to mend bridges so to speak and admit his true feelings towards the person who he loved deeply…Carrie. They both threw their bags in the car and got in. Dean pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the direction or New York.

"Dean, where are we going?"

"Uh…I need to make a stop in Boston for a minute."

"…Dean. Don't you think that you hurt Carrie enough?"

"Yeah…that's why Im going back. I realize now that…" He stopped there because he knew that Sam would get all pansy on him and he hated that.

"You still love her."

"Sam please, not now."

"Oh my god. Dean, its great that you are willing to come into terms with reality, but Dean, do you honestly think that the past 9 years, she has been waiting for you?"

"You know Sam, a part of me thinks that there is something that will remind her of me everyday."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I lied…I wasn't at the library. I got attacked."

"Oh god, are you okay?"

"Yeah, im fine."

"Did you kill the thing that did it?"

"No…"

Sam said confused, "Then why are we leaving Dean?"

"The demon…it wasn't…it didn't exactly have evil intentions."

"What are you talking about?"

"I think that the demon is just trying to help."

"Dean-"

"I know, I sound crazy and I can't believe I actually said that either but I really think that the demon is only trying to help people realize what they had in front of them and lost."

"What makes you think that? What did it say?"

"Andy took me to….he showed me what Carrie went through after I left. She showed me that…that about 9 months after I left, Carrie had a son."

"Wow, whoa, whoa, whoa…is he…"

"Yeah Sam, he's mine."

"Now I understand why you're going back."

"No, that's not the only reason Im going back."

"Then what is?"

"Andy helped me understand that… Sometimes we are so set on something in life, we dont step back to realize what is truly important and maybe right in front of us."

"Dude, I understand where your coming from with this. But Carrie has survived 9 years without you and do you really think that she would want you if you were gone half the time hunting."

"I won't be gone."

"What about hunting?" Dean pulled over on the side of the road and turned the key off.

"Sam…we can't live this life forever. I mean we have lost so much…and I admit, all the pain was worth it. I mean the amount of lives we have saved is…satisfying…but we aren't going to be happy our whole lives just doing something that we had no say whatsoever to begin with. I mean dad started us on this when we were so young, I understand why we were both afraid because it was the only life we knew, the only life we trusted. I got 4 years of normality and you got about 2 years and 6 months. Hunting has occupied our lives so much that we can't have any solid relationships. Sammy, just spending this many years with you, getting to bond with you has been the only reason why I came this far. Now don't get me wrong, I love saving lives but you were the main reason why I stayed because I knew that after you lost Jess, you wouldn't want to go back to normal. The reason for that I think is that you are scared of going through a loss again Sam and I understand but why should we give up our time, our whole lives with hunting." Sam just looked down as did Dean, "Don't we deserve a chance to be happy for once? I mean dad was always gonna be in hunting, we both knew that but why does that mean we have to? I mean why do we have to die without experiencing what normal people do? I mean we sacrifice a lot and we don't receive the same treatment as regular people. Why can't we be normal for once? Happy? Haven't we paid our dues?" Sam knew exactly what Dean meant and he agreed with it completely.

"Let's go, you're wasting time." Dean smiled and turned on the engine and the loud, roaring sound of the Impala played, and Dean pulled back onto the road and drove.

"Dude, just to make sure. You don't have your hopes up that she is going to return the same feeling still? I mean I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Look Sam, I appreciate the concern but I gotta keep my hopes up…cause if I don't then what are the odds that it will happen?"

"I guess your right." Then Dean turned up ACDC. Truth was, he was worried about the outcome of the whole thing.

They arrived in Boston a little past sundown about a week later. Quicker then what was expected because Dean drove non stop. Dean decided with the help of Sam that Dean would go see Carrie the next day because it was late. They rented a motel and they slept.

Dean awoke the next day and got into the shower and after he got dressed, he got immediately into the car. Sam decided to go to the coffee shop to try and look for a case. Dean dropped Sam off and he drove to Carrie's house. He arrived about 5 minutes after 2:30 and before he went up to the door, he just stared. He had no idea what he was going to say but there was always a saying that "Love makes people blind"…or maybe he just thought of that, who knows. He finally got the courage to walk up to door and he knocked. A part of him hoped that she wasn't home but an even bigger part hoped that she was. Unfortunately, for the small part that hoped she wasn't home, she was home. She opened the door with curled hair with her bangs held up and pushed up in front. She was wearing a skirt with flats and a Chanel top. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

"Dean…hi?"

"Hey Carrie," he replied.

"Uh…it's good to see you," she said.

"You too."

"Yeah…uh…what are you doing here?" She said smiling but he could tell that underneath, she was freaking out.

"Oh, uh…we were just close."

"Oh, really, where?"

"…Indiana?"

"Wow…uh, how is that close?"

Dean felt frozen, "Its not…it's just, that's probably the closest I will get to New York you know and I missed ya." She looked down.

"Oh my god, sorry, do you wanna come in?"

"That would be nice." He laughed and she stepped aside and he walked in. She breathed in the smell of him and she loved it.

"Please sit…or you can stand, you know, whatever your…legs prefer." He laughed and noted in his brain that she was obviously nervous about this too which was sort of a good sign. He sat and she sat across from him.

"So…uh, how have you been?" He asked.

"Great…you?" That was about the only question they asked before the room went silent for a matter of about a half hour. Then Carrie said, "You want a drink or something?"

"That would be great, thanks." She walked into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of water and handed it to him. Then it went back to being silent but this time, it was silent for about 50 minutes. It would have stayed silent if a little boy didn't run through the door.

"Mom! Guess what!" He didn't even notice Dean sitting on the couch.

Carrie stood up, "What?"

"My ACDC symbol picture won the contest!" A smile appeared on Carries face and she hugged him. "That's great honey." She looked at Dean, "Oh im sorry, uh Dean, this is my son, Ben. Ben, this is my friend, Dean." Dean thought in his head, "Im a closer friend then you think. Im your father" He would have said that too if Ben hadn't said, "Nice to meet ya."

"Oh, uh you too." They shook hands.

"Mom, what's for supper?"

"I have no idea; uh…what do you feel like?"

"I want…a cheeseburger." That resembled Dean so much.

"Okay, Ill make those after." She sat back down on the couch as did Dean.

"You wanna do something tonight? I mean after you…cook cheeseburgers?"

She had no idea what to say so she just said, "Sure. Uh, what did you have in mind?"

"Well I have no idea…but Ill figure it out. So, Ill pick you up around 8?"

"Okay." He headed for the door and when he turned around, she hugged him.

"Im sorry I was so awkward, it's just…complicated."

"I get it." He said referring to the fact that he knew that Ben was his. Then she let go of her grasp on him and he smiled and walked out the door. He felt satisfied with him self and he continued to feel satisfied when he got in the car, picked up Sam, went to the motel and tried to look for a case. The smile barely went off his face.

8 o' clock came around and he was at Carrie's house waiting for her to make sure Ben was in bed. She came down the stairs and Ben blasted ACDC. "Ben! Turn it off!" she yelled up the stairs. He turned it down. "You wanna hear ACDC again?" Then the music shut off and Carrie smiled at him, "sorry…just one more second…Ben, turn off your i-pod."

"Whoa! I knew moms had eyes in the back of their head, I didn't know that they had x-ray vision." Dean laughed slightly. Carrie was in jeans with boots underneath and a black coat. Her hair was down and naturally wavy. They both got in his car and he made her put a blind fold on. She did just that and Dean pulled up at a tree that was very important to them; it had lots of significance. He got out and ran over to her door. He opened it and helped her out because she couldn't see. He held her hand and walked her over to the tree. Then when he took the blindfold off, she saw the tree and a blanket underneath. She gasped.

"Wow, this is…great." He sat down on the blanket as did she, and they were caught up in a gaze. Then she kissed him and then said, "Sorry…uh, I apologize."

"Don't…just do it again." Then he smiled and he leaned in and she returned the affection. They continued this for a while and then she said, "Wait, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I lied to you…well I didn't technically lie to you, I just wasn't honest with you…which is, in itself, the same as lying."

"What are you talking about?" He asked even though he knew exactly what she was talking about. He was surprised at the fact that it hadn't even been a full day and she was already filled with guilt and couldn't take it any more.

"Ben is yours."

He looked down and smiled slightly.

"Sweet."

She was confused, "Your not…mad?"

"No, Im happy, why would I be mad?"

"Because I didn't tell you about your first son."

"Well we all make mistakes."

"Wow, it feels good I got that cleared up. Uh, so, when are you leaving again?"

"Well…I was trying to determine that and it took me a while to figure out."

"Oh," she said sadly.

"I was thinking…never…I mean unless we moved or something."

"What?" a slight smile appeared on her face.

"I love you Carrie, I have for a while, I do and I always will." She put her hand across her mouth again in shock. Then she brought it down and she was smiling. "I love you too." They kissed and she hugged him.

"And Im sorry I made you miss everything in your first son's life."

"You know, somehow I feel like I saw most of it." He said holding her. In his mind, he thanked the demon for bringing him to see what was really important in life.

Sam Winchester married Maddy York and lived in a house with their two children, Brooke and Jason. Occasionally he and Dean still go to the shooting range where they can carry on the family tradition, learning how to shoot before the age of 9.

Dean Winchester married Carrie Underwood on February 27…the day that they met. A couple months later came their second born child, Emma Mary Underwood Winchester. Dean and Carrie lived in a house with their only two children.

So The Winchesters got their happy ending after all and they couldn't be more satisfied.