Prologue
She leaned back against the wall, grateful for its support as she fingered the gold detective badge and LAPD I.D. she held in her hand, her fingers avoiding the sticky, burgundy stain that marred the I.D's photo. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the cold wall behind her, unable to stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks or stop the soft sob that escaped from her lips.
She could still the look of disbelief and surprise on his face as he slowly looked down, blinking in amazement at the red stain spreading quickly across the front of his shirt before he looked back up at her with a confused look on his face. His lips moved wordlessly asking 'Why?' before his eyes rolled back in his head and his legs gave out from under him, toppling him heavily to the ground.
She could not remember dropping her gun or even running the few feet that separated them, but she did remember placing her shaking hand against the side of her partner's neck and the soft prayer of thanks she had whispered through her own shocked lips as she felt a weak pulse drum under her fingertips. She could still hear her own softly whispered words begging for his forgiveness as she tore open his blood soaked shirt, exposing the jagged bullet wound beneath. She choked on a sob as she remembered seeing the damage the bullet had caused … her bullet…
"Kensi!"
She jumped as she heard her name called and reluctantly pushed herself away from the support of the wall as Callen and Sam hurried down the corridor to where she was waiting.
"Any word yet?" Sam asked softly as he looked towards the closed operating room doors.
She shook her head, not yet trusting her voice to answer.
"What happened?" Callen probed gently.
"I…I shot him." She gasped as the reality of what she had done sunk in. "Ohh God, Callen, I shot Deeks!" she sobbed as Callen's arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a comforting embrace.