Kiss and Tell


Summary: Rita tosses the empty bottle back and forth between each hand, eyeing Estelle and Yuri with a speculative stare. "Let's play spin-the-bottle," she says decisively and the room falls silent with shock, horror, and no small amount of interest. A few yards away, Karol starts choking on his chips. Rita ignores him. "Live a little, pussywillows."


Disclaimer: Not a chance in a frozen hell.


AN: This is shameless crack. I'll admit it. Fuck the police.


Twenty minutes ago, they weren't sitting together in a circle with an empty bottle in the middle of it and it was all Rita's fault. Twenty minutes ago, the bottle was full of some sort of sparkling cider and Rita was this close to just shoving Yuri into a broom closet with Estelle and telling him not to come out until he got his head on straight. Seriously, she was about that close. But that would have been a disaster and worse than being a disaster, it would have failed. And Rita does a lot of things but she does not fail, ever, no sir, and she won't be starting now.

Ten minutes ago, Rita decides to take things into her own hands (literally) and begins chugging the gargantuan bottle of cider as fast as she can in order to empty it.

Three minutes ago, she smacks her spoon against the edge of her plate and gets to her feet.

Rita tosses the empty bottle back and forth between each hand when she has everyone's attention, eyeing Estelle and Yuri with a speculative stare. "Let's play spin-the-bottle," she says decisively and the room falls silent with shock, horror, and no small amount of interest. A few yards away, Karol starts choking on his chips. Rita ignores him. "Live a little, pussywillows."

And now, three minutes later, she's finagled them all right where she wants them, in the middle of the floor in a circle. Raven tries to escape but Yuri's having none of it, grabbing him by the sleeve and hauling him right back down with the rest of them.

Excellent.

Flynn too makes his own attempt but is in fact blocked by Estelle, who refuses to so much as move, and it's not like he can leave without her. If Rita didn't know better, she'd have sworn that Estelle was in on this plot of hers. Still, her green eyes hold no treachery or secrets and Rita puts the thought out of her head.

She's got a job to do, and that job consists almost entirely of getting rid of the UST so potent that she can almost physically feel it.

"As the mastermind," Because Rita is many things but humble is not one of them, "I will go first." That gets everyone's attention because even after all this time, she doesn't think that they actually expect her to back up her plans. She reaches out a hand, grips the bottle, and spins it with a flourish.

At this point she's pretty much hoping that it lands on anyone but the old man, because that'll just be awkward, and let's be real, Rita wouldn't mind kissing Yuri. She won't bother denying it. No sane human being with eyes would mind kissing Yuri.

The bottle slows and it's a testament to the competitive nature of all of her friends that they're watching intently as to where it lands, it slows a little more…

And then stops.

Right on Judith, who smirks as if expecting Rita to pitch a fit.

….Seriously, has she seen herself lately, or ever? Judy is not the one that Rita's going to be throwing fits about kissing. Rita wastes no time in scooting the bottle out of her way and scrambling across the circle, nearly kneeing Flynn in the stomach in the process.

"Pucker up," Rita greets without ado and doesn't wait for a reply before leaning over and planting a firm, unhesitating kiss on Judy's lips. A few people over, Raven sputters a little and Rita thinks that she may have just made Karol's pubescent evenings for about the next three years. When she pulls away, Judy's lips are tipping up in a grin and there's a hand curling at the base of Rita's neck that reels her in again for one more.

"That was for the peanut gallery," Judith says when she's done and Rita will be considering the level at which she enjoyed that at a later date when she's not shamelessly trying to get her friends together. She wonders if Judy knows what she's doing but puts the thought away in favor or handing over the abandoned bottle with a flourish.

"Have at, sister."

Deadpan, unflappable Judith spins the bottle without hesitation, and it's with intense concentration that every single male present is watching the movement. Rita gives a silent snort.

Men.

It stops…

Right on Estelle.

It stops right on Estelle, who flushes and flails her hands a little bit. No on, it seems, is immune to Judy, which Rita can understand. Obviously, as her lips are still tingling with warmth and sparks. For a panicked second, Rita has the horrible, gut-clenching fear that because of her, Estelle's going to feel pushed into something that she's not comfortable with and Rita actually feels sort of bad for a few seconds about Estelle losing her first kiss like that.

Still, she only worries for a second because it's Estelle who draws in a steadying breath and crawls across the circle first, cranes her neck up, and kisses Judy without hesitation. Her courage startles everyone including Judy, who looks inches away from actually sputtering with something like shock. Nevertheless, Judy wraps her hand around the base of Estelle's neck much like she did Rita and draws her in, lingering, and they can all see Estelle roll the other girl's lower lip between her teeth before drawing away.

All the boys' eyes are huge and Rita would find it hysterical if she didn't know that she was just as bad as they were. Spirits, did that actually just happen? Did it? Because the image of Estelle's oddly knowing smile and Judy consideringly licking her lips might actually be seared into Rita's brain for the rest of forever.

And holy shit is she really super okay with that.

"Uh..." Rita says with a tiny croak in her voice, "Your spin, girlfriend."

Estelle beams at her as if she hasn't just kissed unflappable Judith into silence.

"Of course!" And then reaches out and gives the bottle a quick spin, and Rita doesn't miss the way every single person's eyes travel it, including her own.

There's dead silence when it stops and everyone turns to stare at Flynn who's gone a bright, bright red. Yuri snaps out of his stupor first and elbows him.

"Pucker up, pal." If possible, Flynn goes even redder and in contrast to a few moments ago, Estelle makes no move to approach him first. She just sits there daintily and looks him in the eyes, and decidedly unlike with Judy, there's a splash of color on her cheeks. Rita resists the urge to go ah-ha! So there's something there, is there?

She wonders if Flynn's embarrassment is because of what he just saw or because it's her. She looks forward to finding out.

Eventually Flynn shakes himself out of his imitation of a statue, and then because he clearly can't just scoot like a normal person, stands up completely to take the single step he needs to take and then sinks down to the floor in front of her.

"Lady Estellise," he stammers and Rita locks eyes with Yuri, who suddenly looks put out and seconds away from kicking his friend into Estelle if he doesn't hurry it up, "I- I'm sorry for this, I-"

Estelle smiles and cocks her head, before reaching out and pressing a single finger to Flynn's lips to stop his rambling.

"Calm down," she says gently, "It's okay. I can spin again if you don't want to," she adds graciously. If Flynn makes her spin again, Rita decides that she will drop kick him across the room. She'd drop kick him right out of the game if she didn't think that that'd be too nice to him. Yuri looks like he agrees with her. She shouldn't have worried though; almost immediately Flynn shakes his head so emphatically that his bangs go flying.

"No, no, that's not—it's just..." he trails off, draws in a deep breath, and then reaches out to take Estelle by the shoulder to pull her in against him. She goes easily and when he kisses her her eyes drop shut and Flynn relaxes finally when nothing explodes. For someone who was so clearly terrified before, Rita thinks with no small amount of consternation, Flynn's certainly enjoying himself now, with one hand tucked underneath Estelle's chin to tilt her head up and one of hers calmly rifling through his hair.

Raven lets out a quiet wolf whistle which breaks the spell and sends Flynn skittering backwards like a scalded cat, much to Rita's dismay. The commandant's not bad to look at either, for all that he acts like an embarrassed fourteen year-old boy, and Rita would have been pretty alright with watching that little display for a while longer. But still, it's probably for the best though, especially since Estelle's staring at her hands with an inexplicably pleased grin on her face and Flynn...well, he's going to be catching so much shit from Yuri for this, probably for the rest of his life.

It was probably worth it.

Flynn doesn't look at any of them as he reaches out without being asked and spins the bottle with so much force that it goes flying across the circle to nearly clobber Raven in the kneecaps and he has to spin again.

It spins, and spins, and spins…

And finally stops.

On Yuri.

Flynn looks mortified and Yuri utterly unimpressed but apparently his kiss with Estelle's either killed his dignity or his give-a-damn, because he just sighs and tilts his head, clearly aiming for the cheek, and Rita suppresses a sigh of disappointment. What could she have expected anyway? It's not like she was hoping for a repeat performance or anything.

At least until Yuri rolls his eyes and gives half a second of shit-eating grin before he darts in for the lips instead, smothering Flynn's yelp of surprise and indignation with a kiss on the mouth that's enough to shut up the uptight king of propriety himself. It's honestly a little surprising because Rita would have put hard gald on the two of them having messed around at least a little bit in the past.

Apparently not.

Still, Rita approves wholeheartedly, especially when Yuri pulls away and dissolves into peals of laughter at the expression on Flynn's face. It's good for people to get shaken up sometimes.

Except, of course, when it's her. Then it's just a pain.

"That good enough?" Yuri asks, looking every bit the cocky sleaze and Rita wants to get in on this. Or at least get into another bottle of cider, which she does, pops off the bottlecap, and takes a deep draw until the alcohol burns her throat going down. And then passes it around the circle. Rita doesn't miss that Flynn downs distinctly more than anyone else; whether that's to cover up his embarrassment or what, Rita doesn't know. She doesn't really care, either.

She is going to have to do some very serious evaluating of her life choices after this, though, because damn.

Yuri looks pretty freaking pleased with himself as he sits back with his arms crossed over his chest, returning Judith's sideways stare with one of his own, cocking a lone eyebrow in her direction.

"My go?" He asks and spins without waiting for an answer. When it stops, Rita stifles an unflattering snort, Estelle covers her mouth with her hands, and Karol...Karol looks like he's about to pass out.

Yuri and Raven stare each other down from their spots, both of them looking distinctly revolted. "Can I have a do-over?" He asks weakly as Raven nods hugely for emphasis.

"Hell no," Rita tells him, "Do-overs are for pussies. Just do it and quit whining."

Yuri stares at Raven. Raven stares at Yuri.

And then Flynn, who looks as if Christmas has come early, elbows his friend in the side.

"You heard her, Yuri," he says gleefully, "No do-overs."

Yuri's glare is absolutely poisonous and Rita is reminded distinctly why the two of them have been friends this long. Eventually though, he sighs.

"Alright, gramps. You want to make this a good one?"

"Hell no," comes the immediate answer, "I'll pass."

So Yuri ducks in and drops a millisecond-long kiss to Raven's cheek like it kills him and Flynn makes an evil sound that makes all of them kind of afraid, and Rita knows now that he's not going to be the only one to catch shit for this. Estelle's pretty and sweet and adorable; who wouldn't want to kiss her? Raven's not bad either in a scruffy uncle sort of way but that doesn't mean that Rita wants to lay one on him. Spirits, Yuri might secretly be three years old.

He pulls away and wipes his lips off.

Rita takes another swig of cider and hands the bottle over to him.

"You know, I think I'm gonna go on and bow out now," Raven says, "I'd really like it if I was able to look at y'all in the morning without laughin'. The elderly need their sleep you know..."

"I just had to kiss you, like hell you get to run away," Yuri snaps and grabs him by the sleeve. "You have to spin at least once."

With immense trepidation, Raven takes the bottle and gives it a feeble spin. It barely makes it around twice before it stops, and lands on...

Karol gapes up at Raven in shock. Raven looks unexpectedly relieved.

"C'mere kid," he says. Karol's eyes are massive.

"Uh, I don't know about this..." He trails off when Raven wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in, dropping a kiss to the top of his head with a loud, overly dramatic smack.

And then that's clearly it for Raven, because two seconds later he releases Karol and literally flees the room. At least until he ducks his head in and says with a shit-eating smirk,

"Don't have too much fun now, kids!" For which Estelle and Judy have to each grab one of Rita's arms to keep her from getting up and putting him back into the game. Forcibly if need be.

"It's your turn now, Karol," Estelle encourages, "Go on, spin!"

"Uh...are you sure this is okay?"

She frowns.

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

Karol clearly has no answer to this and when no contradiction comes his way, he reaches out and gives the bottle a spin. Rita stares it down. Aside from the old man, the only person she doesn't really dig the idea of kissing is Karol. Not really because he's younger or anything but because he's Karol. He's a twerp even though he's finally hit sixteen, kind of like a kid brother if kid brothers came along when you're fifteen and they're twelve and neither of you are actually related to the people you consider your family. Still, she'd take one for the team and do it if it's down to her.

Rita doesn't have to worry.

The bottle stops on Judith who glances to it mildly then to Karol, who appears to have stopped breathing entirely. Rita nudges Judy in the side.

"Go on," she says, "Make the kid a man."

"Rita!" Estelle hisses like she has any right in the world to be scandalized, which she doesn't, "Don't be so rude."

Rita might have replied if she hadn't caught one of Judy's hair ornaments right in the face as the other girl sidles past her to kneel in front of Karol.

"Uh...hi?"

"Greetings," Judy replies with a smile and a waggle of her fingers. She waits patiently and not even Yuri dares to snigger when Karol clenches his hands at his sides and leans up slightly, craning his head. He hesitates like he expects her to pull away, blinking slowly, and Judy's smile widens. "If you're uncomfortable," she tells him kindly, "The cheek is fine. Whichever you'd prefer," she adds and Estelle's smiling like she's feeling the same sudden rush of affection for Judith that Rita's trying desperately to squash down.

It's either Judy's permission or the thought that he might not get this chance ever again that makes him braver and Karol puts his hands on her shoulders and ducks in to kiss her on the mouth. It's quick but kinda cute, and Karol goes a bright, bright red when he pulls away and skitters back to his side of the circle amid smug shoulder claps from Yuri. Flynn tips the remainder of the bottle to him and downs the rest of it.

Rita side-eyes the rest of her friends and lingers on Estelle. She desperately, desperately wants her and Yuri to kiss, not only because it'd be super hot but just because, because they've been dancing around each other for years and neither of them have ever done anything about it, and because Rita doesn't love much in life but she loves her friends and wants them to be happy, and she's pretty sure that kissing Yuri will make Estelle pretty freaking happy. She's also pretty sure that kissing Estelle will make Yuri pretty freaking happy as well.

And that will, by proxy, make Rita pretty freaking happy.

Unfortunately, not even Rita has the skills to manipulate a glass bottle to do what she wants but she likes to think that she can will it into submission. Even though she really can't.

Still, it's Judy's turn to spin again and Rita can't help but hope, just a little bit, that it might land on her again. Some people play with weird house rules that say you can't kiss the same person twice but Rita says screw that, she wouldn't say no to just about anyone in this circle.

"Anyone want to place bets?" Yuri asks with a waggle of his eyebrows. Flynn answers him by clinking the neck of his cider bottle on the one in Yuri's hand and with a stern,

"Not on your life."

Judy says nothing but smirks a little and spins, and Rita would be lying if she didn't watch that bottle very carefully.

And it lands on Yuri.

Holy. Shit.

Rita almost wants to cover Karol's eyes, Estelle's eyes, and her own as well, the kiss Judy lays on him is that filthy. Unfortunately when she tries on Estelle the other girl bats her hand away, her eyes huge and wide and there's no embarrassment or horror, only curiosity and an intense interest that reminds Rita that she might be cute and sweet and bouncy but she's also a girl who reads just about anything she can get her hands on and doesn't stop at fairy tales.

Shit.

Rita's pretty sure she can pinpoint the moment they all start breathing again because that's the moment that Judy pulls away from Yuri with a sinuous grace that borders on lewd and Yuri...Yuri looks kind of like she's clobbered him in the head with a baseball bat. Rita and Judy will be having words after this, Rita decides. Lots of words.

Or maybe not lots of words, maybe just convincing Judith to teach her how to make guys look at her like that.

Possibly with demonstrations and practice.

Lots of practice.

On her, hopefully.

That is not the point, though. The point is that it's Yuri's turn to spin again and Rita will make that bottle stop on Estelle if it's the last thing she does.

Ever.

"Okay," Karol says finally, "I think I'm done for." He gets up and steps out of the circle. Rita doesn't blame him; he's probably just had his brain exploded by all the tomfoolery of the last...however long they've been playing this. Whose idea was this?

Oh, right.

Hers.

"I guess I'm out too," Yuri mumbles, "Pretty sure the graveyard of empty bottles says enough about us." Oh, no. Oh hell no.

"One more round," Rita says in a rush, "One more spin and then we call it. Okay?" She's never been one for pleading and puppy eyes but she makes hers as wide as possible now. Yuri doesn't buy it for a second and no one else does either but it makes him sit back down anyway.

"Fine. One more spin." He reaches out and flicks the bottle into a sharp spin.

The bottle spins, spins, spins...and stops.

On Rita.

And it's the look on Estelle's face that makes up her mind, mostly because she'd never let it show if she wasn't just the tiniest bit tipsy and Rita wasn't specifically watching for her reaction, but the flash of disappointment and resignation are unacceptable even through Rita's cider buzz. So she reaches out, makes to spin or grab the bottle…

And pushes it over by two inches exactly until it points to her friend, who jerks back and begins to stammer.

And Yuri, confident Yuri goes red.

Flynn, uncharacteristically silent in the face of this, eyes Estelle and then Yuri and then locks eyes with Rita.

Come on, she think-orders and tries to set him on fire with her stare, Back me up here. Come on.

"The bottle doesn't lie," he says eventually and prods Yuri in the shoulder. "You already kissed Raven."

"That's not-! You…" Yuri sputters, vacillating between annoyed and flustered and something in between. In stark contrast to him, Estelle remains very quiet and doesn't look at any of them. Finally, she reaches out and bats the bottle out of their circle, probably harder than she means to, managing to whack Flynn in the shin with it. As testament to his self control, he says nothing about it.

"Don't worry about it," she speaks up when it's clear that Yuri can't make a decision, "It's okay. Just...spin again. Hopefully you'll get someone better."

Yuri Lowell is a dead man if he spins again, Rita decides. He'll be dead because she'll have murdered him right there in front of everyone, probably with help from his best friend if the look on his face is any indication of his feelings on the matter.

Don't. You. Dare.

"That's not it!" Yuri growls and shoves Flynn out of his personal space so hard that he almost lands on his face and then leans forward into the middle of the circle. "That's not it at all." At Flynn's irritated snort he scowls and scoots into the center until he's across from Estelle. Estelle, who looks like she wants to crawl away and die.

"I...um," she stutters and can't look him in the eyes. "Maybe you should spin again."

"You want me to?" Yuri demands.

"N-no…"

"Okay, then," he declares.

Yuri's kiss with Judith was lascivious, the one with Flynn clearly an effort to be an ass, the one with Raven...just no. Estelle's different. Yuri touches her first when he didn't before, hands starting at her shoulders and sliding back to pull her closer to him. It doesn't take much encouragement to make Estelle go; Rita can see slender princessy fingers roughened with callouses tangle in the fabric of Yuri's hip and thigh when she's close enough, and she obligingly tilts her head up to go with the pressure of his fingertips under her chin, Yuri's thumb running once, twice, three times over her lips.

Yuri touches her like she's the most precious thing he's ever seen and Rita's heart twists hard for a reason she can't pin down. Maybe she's made a horrible mistake.

This is right, she was right, this is what's supposed to happen, she tells herself fiercely. All anyone has to do is look at the shine in Estelle's eyes and the way Yuri drinks her in before he's even kissed her to see it.

Everyone expects Yuri to be the one to duck in and make the first move but it's Estelle, all Estelle who gets it started and Rita doesn't know why she keeps being surprised. It's Estelle who makes the shift, Estelle who scoots in to practically straddle Yuri's lap in order to get taller, Estelle who leans up and tangles her hand in the hair at Yuri's nape and kisses him.

And Yuri kisses her back, smiling into it.

They pull away and Rita stands abruptly, brushing herself off like she's dusty even though she's decidedly not.

"Alright," she says and doesn't look at Estelle's fingers laced in Yuri's, "Bed calls."

Rita says her goodnights and doesn't take notice when Flynn follows suit. The sheer amount of love shining out of Estelle's face is almost physically painful and there's no real reason for it. She did a good deed and made her friends happy...she ought to be happy too. And she is. But she also hurts.

The empty cider bottles littering the room can wait; Rita just wants to go to bed.

She's almost to the stairs when a hand lands on her shoulder and she whips around, a sharp comment on the tip of her tongue...and then stops, because it's Judy.

"Wait," she says very quietly and steers Rita back towards the doorway.

Estelle and Yuri haven't moved away from one another; there's no fumbling or stuttering or stammering or fluttering around one another. There's also no necking either, to Rita's intense relief. Estelle's still mostly in his lap with her fingers fanned on Yuri's cheeks; their foreheads pressed together. It's very serene and the opposite of what Rita expected to see and it's Estelle's slow blinking and Yuri's steady hands on the small of her back that shooes away whatever monster's turning Rita into such an asshole.

This isn't something she orchestrated, this is something she helped along, that much is clear from the ease at which they fold into each other, the way sharp edges fit into curves and smooth sides.

"You did good," Judy says.

Rita swallows hard. The smile she can't quite hold back (because Estelle deserves this, Yuri deserves this, her friends deserve all the happiness and more that they could ever want) is difficult to keep from shaking.

"I just…" she has to swallow again to keep talking, "They were taking forever, you know?" That's only part of what she wants to say and they both know it, but Judith doesn't press. In fact, all she does is follow Rita back up the stairs and toward her bedroom. The booze buzz is wearing off and now all Rita wants to do is sleep it off so she can make fun of her friends properly in the morning without resentment. "See you in the morning?"

Judith's lips curl up in a smile.

"I believe it already is morning."

Rita scowls.

"Shut up."

And shuts the door in her face. Judy laughs and walks away and Rita falls into bed.


AN2: Thank you for reading! This has been a monster to write and what I started with is not what I ended up writing. I hope y'all enjoyed it! If you liked this, hated it, whatever, please leave a review or a PM; I love getting feedback!