Chapter One.

(Selena's POV)

I was sitting on the bathroom floor with the razor blade next to me. There were four new cuts on my left wrist, dripping blood on the floor. I just sat there, thankful for finally being able to clear my mind. The thoughts of Demi had disappeared, and I was glad they had. The thoughts I had about her weren't good, and I had to make sure no one found out about my feelings for her. Yes, I had feelings for her, and I couldn't help it.

I heard my mom call for me from the kitchen, telling me the dinner was ready. I answered with 'Be right there!' and started to wipe away the blood from my wrist and the floor with toilet paper. I threw the paper in the toilet and flushed it. If mom knew I was cutting she'd freak. She even freaks out if I accidentally hurt myself. Like when I was twelve, we went to the beach and a wasp stung me. It hurt, but I didn't cry. But I saw my mom wipe away a tear from her eye… I still don't know why she started crying. I guess I'm her 'little princess'… she doesn't want me to get hurt. So if she knew I was cutting… you get the idea.

I have a backup plan though. If someone did find out, I could blame it on my father's death. It wouldn't feel right, but we'll see how things will work out. Maybe I don't need to use an explanation. That is, if no one finds out.

He died in a car accident three years ago. I was crushed, I even thought of suicide… I felt so horrible. But Demi and my mom helped me. They are my angels. I don't know how they managed to bring me out of the darkness. I guess it was when I realized that I couldn't live without Demi. I mean, I wouldn't be with her if I killed myself, would I?

She stayed over for a month and took care of me. And in the nights when she heard me crying, she held me close to her and we snuggled till I fell asleep. Eventually, after all those nights and days with her, I fell in love with her.

I stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw. My hair was a mess and it could be seen that I had been crying. I looked down in the sink and turned on the cold water. I splashed the water in my face to get the puffiness to disappear. I turned off the water and dried my hands and face. I took one last look in the mirror and pulled my hair in a ponytail. I picked up the razor blade, pulled the sleeve of my shirt over the cuts and exited the bathroom. Since I had my own bathroom I could easily hide the blade away without getting caught. I put the blade in my drawer, closed it, and went down to the kitchen to find my mom waiting for me by the dining table.

"What took you so long?" my mom asked, looking at the watch on her arm. "I called for you ten minutes ago."

I didn't make eye contact as I sat down by the table, but I could feel that her eyes were on me. "I uh-, I had some homework to finish." I said, before giving her a small fake smile. My mom smiled, and was what I guess, satisfied with that answer and started to put food on her plate.

-

We didn't talk much during the dinner; we only brought up a few recently happened things. My mother started to remove the dishes from the table and I rose, ready to go up to my room again.

"Selena?" my mother suddenly said.

"Yeah?" I answered, turning around to face her.

"What do you think of that idea?" She asked, making me confused. I must have been in my own thoughts since I didn't hear her first question.

"What idea?" I answered, not having a clue what she was talking about.

"About playing some games tonight? It has been a while since we hung out, mother and daughter." She said, waiting for my answer. I really didn't want to do anything tonight, so I told her the first thing that came to my mind.

"I gotta finish my homework."

"But you said you had finished them?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, uh, I just remembered I had more homework." I said, mentally slapping myself for that lame excuse. Couldn't I think of something smarter?!!

"Oh," she said, with a hint of disappointment in her voice. After a few moments she asked, "Are you okay, sweetie?" And started to move towards me with a worried face.

"I'm fine, I just got a lot of homework to do." And with that I turned around, leaving her alone in the kitchen while I rushed up the stairs.

I lied down on the bed with a loud sigh, praying that my mom wouldn't come upstairs to see how 'her princess' was doing. After lying in the same position, staring at the ceiling for a good fifteen minutes, I started to look for my Ipod. "Where the hell is it?" I mumbled to myself after not finding it at its usual spot on the desk. I practically searched through the whole room before giving up. I walked towards the bed, not looking where I was going. I tripped on the pile of homework (which I hadn't done), and fell onto the floor next to my bed. I cursed at the books before noticing the Ipod under my bed. I crawled closer to the bed and reached for it. But… "This isn't the Ipod" I said, before pulling out a shoebox with the word 'Pictures' on it. I forgot about the Ipod under the bed, and lifted the lid off the box.

In the box there were pictures of Demi and me when we were together on different occasions. I lifted the pictures on the top and looked at them. I smiled to myself, and just when I was gonna put the pictures back in the box, my eyes fell on a picture of when Demi and i were at the beach two years ago. Demi was wearing her black bikini and her black Ray Bans. I was wearing my striped bikini that now was too small. On the picture, we were walking in the sand with our arms linked together. I also have another picture from that day, where she kissed my cheek. After that picture was taken I blushed like crazy, which made her laugh. God, her laugh…

I immediately put the pictures back in the box, put the lid on and pushed it far under the bed. I felt the feelings slowly coming back as I reached for my Ipod and lied down on the bed and started listening, hoping the feelings would go away.

-

I woke up by someone knocking on the door. I looked around confused, wondering where I was. The sun was shining through the window, giving the room a warm feeling. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 11.04 am. I heard another knock before I stepped out of bed, realizing I wore the same clothes as I did yesterday.

I opened the door and was surprised to see Demi, smiling her trademark smile.

"Hey, sleepyhead!" she said and hugged me tightly. Seriously, she's torturing me.

"Hey," I said, hugging her back.

"So," she said, pulling away from the hug. "Are you ready for today's shopping mania?" she asked, smiling even bigger, making me melt inside…

"W-Was that to-today?" I finally managed to get out. She laughed, (probably at my stuttering,) which caused me to melt more.

"Yes, dork. We decided that yesterday!" she said, still smiling.

"Oh, right." I said, finally remembering. "Yeah, I guess. I just gotta change my clothes."

"Okay." She said, and I turned around and started to look after clothes in my closet. I started to unbutton my jeans as I turned around and saw that Demi still was at the door, looking at me. The smile was gone, and just let me say, she didn't look me in the eyes.

"You gonna stand there while I change?" I asked her, winking my left eye, but blushed as soon as I realized what I've done.

"I, uh-, I'm just.. gonna.. uh," She said, blushing, and then walked out of my room. 'What was that all about?' I thought, but loosed the thought as I got changed.

A/N: Please rate and review. You may complain about my language, tell me I suck at writing in English, and you may even throw pens at me. I'm trying as hard as I can to get it right. :)

Oh and you may also tell me you like it. Just sayin'. That is if you do like it. I don't know. This maybe is horrible. In that case, tell me. The story isn't done, but I have an idea in my head. And in my head it's good! :) muohahahah…heh.. r&r.

XD