"Marathon Man"
She had stalked him relentlessly over the months, claiming her prey and occasionally cornering him like a trapped animal as he searched for a place to emotionally run to and escape – running not so much from her as from what she represented.
She was what he wanted most…and feared the most…..At her very core, she was happiness.
How dare he want that! Want her… He belonged with his equals – dregs of the magical world. The outcasts who, unlike him, accepted it with pride. He ticked off the minutes he lived among them, waiting for the day it felt right, for the moment his mental alarm would ring and he would find himself reborn to see the world as they did. But they could not make him such. He stayed strong, appalled, and disgusted. And despite liking him in some small way, they would not turn, could not see reason.
They were deluded…..like him, really…just in different ways. Why, in the back of his mind, did he know he was a foolish man?
As he watched Greyback's eyes bore into him from across the fire, seething with hunger to finish what he started years ago, he knew that somewhere Tonks worried for him.
But she shouldn't….that wasn't….reasonable.
Reason had kept him aright, aligned his mind to the straight-and-narrow where he had always tottered but managed to stay. Even he knew, though, the straight and narrow road of his mind was self-built with different materials than others -- the materials of denial, both chosen and forced.
"You're being unreasonable!"
"I am not, Tonks. I'm keeping my reason for the both of us. You're acting like a schoolgirl on love potion!"
As the door slammed shut, his heart jumped painfully.
(You did it…now don't you feel better? Isn't this what you…what you had to do?)
The door shimmered and disappeared in the immediate torrent of tears that flooded the werewolf's eyes, face crumbling as he threw hands to his face and sank to the floor.
Another forced denial taken care of, his life wobbling slightly as he returned to his self-determined straight-and-narrow.
He looked into the fire, the flames entrancing him, calling to the tiny flicker he kept hidden inside his soul -- the one he couldn't bear to extinguish.
He could not love. Could not! Oh, he had loved Sirius…and he loved Harry. And the Weasley's...He loved Dumbledore like an only son who also calls his father "best friend."
Remus played the role of "mate" for many people, giving freely of his time, patience, care, and longsuffering….But Tonks asked for more. She asked for his heart. She knew what he hid, saw it in his eyes. His eyes that tried so desperately to hide from her and found no reprieve.
He looked dully ahead, slumped in his chair at the sight of the purple-swathed corpse that once housed a great mind and dear friend. Remus knew he should consider what a blow this was to the world, to the Order, to Hogwarts. But he simply thought of all the wonderful, inconsequential moments they had shared. And he felt selfish for noting that the lion's share of kindness, trust and love in his life had greatly diminished with this man's death. But Dumbledore had been a firm believer in hope…and love.
Seeming to sense these thoughts, she curled her hand around his. And he turned and saw in her eyes everything he had ever wanted. And in that moment, Remus threw reason to the wind…and quit running.
They arrived at the burrow, floo powder stuck to their good clothes and to trails of tears on their faces, Molly too distraught to even delegate room assignments or conjure cleaning charms as she wandered upstairs to find a picture album.
Remus and Tonks had said their goodnights, her fingers lingering on his as he retreated sorrowfully to Bill's room and she to Ginny's for a fitful night's rest, Dumbledore's death still painfully raw in their minds.
He lay on the short single bed, his feet dangling off the end as Bill's old magical constellation stickers sparkled on the ceiling above. A comet sticker flew by and he thought of her in the room close by, her hair once again vibrant and alive….like her.
And he awoke to the smell of peppered bacon and coffee…and the faint tickling of pink hair brushing his cheek, the owner's delicate arms wrapped tightly around his middle.
When did she slip into his room?...Into his heart? He pulled his head back slightly to see her face.
She looked so content, so safe in his embrace.
Tonks stirred, seeming to sense he had awoken. And in the lazy movement of a dream, she nudged his collarbone lightly with her nose as her lips slightly parted, and he felt just the tip of her tongue graze the skin.
Remus closed his eyes and tried to desperately bite back what he couldn't stop.
"I'm…I'm sorry," he whispered in an uncertain stammer, swallowing back the fear of what he had done -- his erection, hard against her thigh.
Her eyes traced his, a content smile on her face as she touched his cheek and said gently, "I've never been less sorry." She leaned her head forward and closed her eyes to touch her lips to his in the barest of kisses then moved back to meet his eyes.
"Do you love me?"
"Yes," he whispered, nodding almost spasmodically in the wake of his words then sniffing and moving his hand from under the sheets to touch her hair.
She smiled and leaned into the simple touch as she reached below to slowly pull downward on the cotton fabric of his clothes.
Weary from his running,Remus allowed Tonks to take him in her arms, to soothe the soreness in his tired soul. He gave into her wholly, his heart at her feet in offering as she took her prey, enveloping him in her warmth, her love.
And in one moment of perfect ecstasy, he became whole.
fin
Author's Note: Just a short one-shot to sate the "Remus and Tonks are now canon" giddiness in me. Please review!