Hey Guys! This is my first RoyEd story so I'll probably have to do a few edits but I'm trying!

Reviewers get cookies, ANY KIND U WANT! Well let the story begin.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA *tear tear*

He looked at me, confused and in pain and obviously trying not to cry. I pulled him close to myself, hugging him tightly, hoping I could help. "Roy…I'm so lost. I…I don't know what to do anymore." Sobs racked his body and I gently shushed him, on the verge of tears myself.

I didn't want him to hurt anymore. He and Al had gotten their bodies back but Al got ill shortly after and died due to complications with pneumonia. Even, though Al's untimely death couldn't possibly have been his fault, Ed still blamed himself. He pulled out of my arms and leaned up to kiss me. I knew what was coming, and as much as I always hated it I would always grant his wish like I was his personal genie.

"Make me forget. Please, Roy make me forget everything."

I kissed him passionately, slowly pushing him backwards until he was lying completely flat on my bed. Doing this, having sex for this reason, hurt me almost as much as it hurt him. I trailed kisses down his neck and to the top of his hoodie, taking the obstructive piece of cloth off. I traveled a little farther south sucking and tenderly biting his nipples when I got down to them, receiving little moans and half sobs in return. I kissed him again, shoving my tongue into his mouth as I undid his pants, and mine. I slid his jeans off and stroked his member, making Ed moan and whine. His breathing sounded labored and he grabbed the hand that was rubbing his cock and licked two of my fingers, coating them in his saliva.

"Put them in." I slid on finger into him and felt him squirm uncomfortably "Are you okay?"

"It doesn't matter. Hurry." I slid in a second and made a scissoring motion inside him, trying to stretch him out. I searched for his spot, and when I heard him cry out, I added a third and final finger in, and stretched him out a little more. I slicked myself up with pre-cum then positioned myself at his entrance. I kissed him hard then entered him all the way to the hilt. I waited, letting him get used to the feeling. "Move." I pulled all the way out of him then plunged back in. I pumped his cock in time to my thrusts, and he moaned loudly with every repetition of the action. "Harder!" I moved faster, picking up the pace and enjoying the delicious friction. "I love you Roy, I love you." He tightened around me as he came, and I came soon after. "I love you too, Ed."

After Ed had showered, I left him alone in our room to go take a shower myself. Once in the hot spray, my mind wandered. Was I really helping him, or was I making it worse? I couldn't shake his answer from earlier out of my head, "It doesn't matter. Hurry." I wanted to know if he was hurting, and not just then, always, and even though i knew he was hurt, he wouldn't ever tell me, or ask me to help him. He just asked me to tell him what to do, because Edward still had his pride and wanted to fix himself, save himself. He seemed to continuously look at me with a mix of love and guilt, when he did, which aside from during sex, was becoming a rarity. Ever since Al died, he'd hardly eaten or slept. He simply stared blankly at my walls, cried, or asked me to fuck him. He wasn't pushing me away, but he was distant now, and so broken our relationship was starting to follow suite.

I knew that nothing could replace Al, and I didn't want to replace Al. I just wanted to make him happy again.

I walked out of the bathroom, in my boxers, drying my hair and wanting to sleep. I pulled the towel of my head and gasped. Ed was gently touching the gun that I kept in my nightstand, caressing it as if it were some kind of jewel. He was crying silently and hadn't noticed my presence "Ed. Ed look at me." I walked towards him slowly, but he kept his eyes fixed on the gun. I finally reached him and when I lifted the gun out of his hands he let me have it. He looked at me sadly and fell to his knees. "Roy, do you love me?"

"Of course I love you."

"If you love me, kill me." I looked at him shocked but he gave me an even stare.

"Ed…" he looked down at the floor then back up at me, with a different expression. Desperation, the kind of look you would get from a tortured animal. "Ed, I can't. I won't. I don't want you to die, and even more so, Al doesn't want to meet you just yet." But it was almost like he couldn't hear me because in the same even tone he asked again, and again, practically begging me to end him. I raised the gun and fired, wincing at the sound of the bullet as it made contact.

As the bullet hit the floor next to him, he broke out of his trance and sobbed. "Save me. From myself, from my monsters and from my nightmares." I got on my knees and hugged him tightly, hoping beyond hoping, that I could.