Free! doesn't belong to me. Neither does High Speed!
So it's Haruka's birthday, and why not celebrating it by throwing a bunch of headcanons out there?
your voice (sing to me)
.
It's something between a hum and a voice, barely audible through the rain outside and the water running down Rin's body, muffled by the bathroom door.
Haruka knows he should open the door and leave a towel for Rin inside, knows standing on the hallway holding his breath won't lead to anything, even though technically he isn't doing anything wrong. It's his house, his bathroom, and Rin and his song are the intruders there.
But he keeps standing in the middle of the hallway, two towels on his arms and a small smile dancing on his lips as he closes his eyes and focuses on Rin's voice, and even though he seems to be singing in English Haruka recognises the melody; lately Rin has picked up the habit of lending him a headphone during train rides. He even can pinpoint the moment this routine started: on their flight back from Sydney, way before the leaves started falling and the weather became colder.
The memory and the song feel warm despite the worsening downpour, and Haruka even forgets he has to take a bath too; Rin's soft muttering is calm, unhurried and it has something that soothes Haruka and makes him forget about the dull ache of his muscles after bearing so much (disproportionate) tension for hours.
Lost in his bliss, Haruka doesn't notice the water stopping flowing, doesn't register Rin's wet steps inside the bathroom until his boyfriend grows silent for a second before yanking the door half-open.
"Oi, Haru, what about that tow––"
Throughout the afternoon, Haruka has seen Rin's mortification several times –when he has grimaced as he spluttered a string of sex-related words together, when Haruka has addressed their bodies' evident reaction to each other, when he has switched between yes and no for a whole minute before settling for a frustrated groan and a desperate what does this suggest you–, but nothing can even be compared to his boyfriend's expression right now.
At first, it's just pure, undiluted shock; Rin's eyes widen and his mouth hangs open mid-word, a droplet of water falling from his wet hair and running down his nose, precariously hanging from the tip. Then his gaze turns surprised, something that sounds like the beginning of a cough coming from his throat. Afterwards, as the drop of water falls from his nose, true horror dawns on his sharp features, and only Haruka's foot is faster than his flight instinct; he sets it between the door and the frame to stop Rin from locking himself up inside his bathroom.
He hasn't even had his own bath yet.
"I brought towels," he hears himself say, daring slip a hand to slid the door open some more.
"I'm naked!"
Haruka, who is used to see boys their age naked (and Rin too, much to his delight), resists the urge to roll his eyes.
"Just take them, then," he replies, reaching out with the towels as an offer of peace. Rin yanks them off his hand and tries to close the door once more. "Your voice–"
"Drop it," Rin warns. "Why were you listening?" Haruka simply shrugs. "It'd be nice if you respected my privacy, you know?"
What privacy?
"Weren't you the one giving me a hand job half an hour ago?"
Rin's face turns the colour of his hair in less than a second. "That's not the problem! And why do you have to make it sound like that's all we did?"
"Because you were there too, and it'd be too long if I explained that we also–"
Rin looks like he's about to repeatedly hit his head against the doorframe until he passes out.
"Okay, I get it! Now, would you be kind enough to leave me alone while I finish the damn bath?"
"But–"
With a new groan, Rin kicks Haruka's foot out of the way and closes the door only a moment after Haruka draws his hand back.
He frowns at the door, wondering what's with Rin; it's not like him to miss a chance to brag about something he's good at, and even though Haruka knows next to nothing about music he can tell Rin's voice is, in the very least, captivating.
.
The smell of grilled meat filters through the sleepiness Haruka hasn't completely shaken off yet as he walks out of the bathroom, shaking at the cold in the hallway. Yet it's not cold what squeezes his chest when the night brings him Rin's steps in the kitchen, the sounds of dishes and cutlery and the light escaping through the open door and brushing the wooden floor, the empty wall.
It's been a few months since Rin started spending most of his weekends with him, but Haruka isn't quite used to his house lacking its usual emptiness. He doesn't usually dwell on it; but sometimes he finds himself scared of how easily he has welcomed this change, of what will happen when Rin leaves to Australia again and Haruka moves to Tokyo.
But the thought isn't as terrifying as it would have been before the summer.
A shiver runs down his spine when a droplet of water rolls down his temple, his cheek, his neck, and gets lost in the towel draped over his shoulders. He remembers he still has to have dinner (he isn't as annoyed as he should be when he silently laments that Rin has seen the steak Haruka bought yesterday exactly for his boyfriend to cook it) and walks towards the living room.
Rin seems to have forgotten the incident; or, at least, he doesn't even mention it, maybe hoping Haruka doesn't bring it up either. He is more focused on finishing their dinner, anyway.
"If you still like mackerel after trying this, I give up," he declares as he lays the two plates on the kotatsu, sitting across Haruka.
Haruka considers it for some seconds.
"Really?"
"No. Someone has to save you from mercury poisoning."
Haruka can't mask his chuckle as a cough.
Rin's steak isn't nearly as delicious as mackerel, but Haruka is willing to make room for it in the second place of his ranking (currently occupied by pineapple). Maybe it's a bit too spicy, but it's juicy and cooked just enough and the vegetable garnish is tasty and Haruka can't think of any other flaw besides it's not mackerel.
So he thinks about the other issue crossing his mind.
"Rin."
Rin looks up from his dish, expectant; Haruka waits until he swallows the piece of meat he's chewing, just in case.
"What?"
"About before–"
Blushing to his ears, Rin frantically shoves more meat and vegetables in his mouth; Haruka isn't sure whether it's an excuse to not reply or he intends to choke on the food and die to distract him from the matter.
Unfortunately for Rin, he doesn't choke and Haruka keeps looking at his slumped form when he swallows.
"It's just a silly habit," he finally mutters, quietly, gaze fixed on his fork. "Can't you just forget it? I bet you do it too."
"I don't." Haruka shakes his head, offended. "It disturbs the water."
Rin looks up, smiling a bit despite himself. "You being weird doesn't make me feel better."
"I didn't mean to." Haruka bites his lower lip. Why does Rin need everything spelled out? "I liked it."
Immediately Rin straightens up, eyebrows raised in sheer bewilderment.
"Did you?"
Haruka nods, resists the urge to look down to avoid Rin's burning stare. His boyfriend isn't as easy to read as Makoto (actually, Rin is the most difficult, troublesome and annoying person Haruka has ever had the pleasure to meet), but Haruka has learnt to understand him to some extent and can tell when he's subtly making Haruka say the compliment outright.
Rin's surprise right now is, however, completely sincere.
"A lot," Haruka admits. "Your voice is really nice when you sing," he quietly adds.
He can't keep looking at his boyfriend when his cheeks heat up, but he watches as Rin's fingers slowly let go of his fork.
"Thank you, I guess."
Had anyone told Haruka confessing he likes Rin's voice would be more awkward than kissing him after slipping on the rocks at the beach and a trip to the hospital to reassure a panicked Rin, he would have laughed. He almost wishes his head hurt like that time; at least he would have something to distract himself from the silence that seems to expand until breathing becomes difficult.
"Why did you–" Haruka trails off. "It's not such a big deal."
He glances up in time to see Rin scratching the back of his neck.
"Well, I… I don't really like being heard," he admits. "I didn't mind when I was younger, but when my voice started changing… Well, my teammates in Australia found it very funny," he explains. "I kind of forced myself to stop singing in the shower. Uh… I hadn't really noticed I was singing until I saw you."
Haruka opens his mouth, closes it after some seconds. He needs a bit to figure out what he wants to say, but he is completely sure he is angry. At Rin's teammates in Australia, at Australia itself, at how unfair Rin being teased for singing was. At how he never knew anything about it.
He doesn't know much about the years Rin spent in Australia.
"That's stupid," he finally snaps. "Their voices probably changed too."
Rin lets out a short laugh.
"Well, but they didn't sing." A sigh escapes his lips. "At least I'm not that off-key anymore."
Rin's smile freezes when he notices Haruka's stare, though.
"Rin–"
"No."
"Please–"
"No."
.
It's been a while since the last time Rin slept on the futon, and tonight is not any different.
Haruka is nestled between Rin and the wall, laying on his side, back leaning against his boyfriend's chest. There's a strange calmness in the warm arms sneaking around his waist, in the little kisses placed against the back of his neck; and even though Haruka wouldn't particularly mind if it escalated the way it has hours ago, he also enjoys the quietness, the light pressure of Rin's chest against his back with each intake of air. The rain drums against the window, making them feel even more comfortable in the narrow bed.
Haruka lazily grabs one of Rin's hands and brings it to his mouth, kisses softly his pronounced knuckles. He hasn't forgotten what he wants, though.
"Rin?"
A heavy sigh tickles the sensitive skin under Haruka's black hair, making him squirm a little.
"Why can't you drop it?"
"I want to hear you sing again," Haruka mutters, nearly pouting against Rin's suddenly tense fingers. "You could do it for my birthday."
He can practically hear Rin's eyebrows raising.
"Your birthday was five months ago."
"For yours, then."
"That doesn't even make sense."
Haruka huffs. "Then Makoto's."
Rin's laughter rings in the silent room.
"What?"
"His birthday was last week," Haruka explains, making the story up as he speaks and hoping it makes some sense, "and as my friend he wants me to be happy, which means you have to sing."
He expects Rin to laugh again, to call him an idiot, to tangle their legs together and even start a tickle fight Haruka is bound to lose. He doesn't expect the heavy silence that hangs between them, the hesitation in Rin's intakes of air as his arms bring Haruka closer to him.
Rin's hand is a fist as this point, still between Haruka's own ones, pressed to Haruka's chest.
"Do you want it that badly?"
Haruka stays still. Rin sounds more tired than he should, insecurity strangling the question.
For the first time, Haruka wonders if he's being selfish. If Rin doesn't want to sing because he was teased over it, forcing him to do it isn't right. He doesn't know where the line between teasing and hurting is, but he's suddenly scared he might have crossed it at some point during the night.
"You don't have to," he mumbles. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Rin sighs softly, presses his forehead against Haruka's nape.
"Just…" He trails off, arms tensing further around Haruka's waist; and he realises Rin is preventing him from peering back at him. "Don't laugh, okay?"
"I would never."
Rin exhales shakily, before taking air in again; and instead of a breath, what comes out is a shy, slightly trembling voice.
It's not the same song he was singing in the bathroom, and Haruka doesn't recognise it. Besides, it's English, and even though Haruka understands some words here and there it's not enough to grasp the sense of it. It's slow enough to be calming, but not enough to be a lullaby; the melody easy, with few scales, notes vibrating through Haruka's spine.
Rin's voice soon drowns out the rain, the creaking of the old house and even Haruka's breathing. It doesn't die down to a hum this time, but grows a bit, confidence seeping into every syllable, and envelops Haruka with a new kind of warmth. Rin's hand rests against Haruka's chest, open now, and Haruka hopes his boyfriend isn't singing to his heart's rhythm; he never thought hearing a song could accelerate his pulse so much.
But then again, when has anything related to Rin not caused a reaction in Haruka?
When the song ends Rin presses his lips against Haruka's vertebra, letting the last note reverberate on his skin. It's not only Rin's hot breath what sends a shiver down Haruka's back; his lips stay there after his voice dissolves into the rain outside.
Haruka doesn't keep quiet for minutes after the song ends out of respect or caution. He can't find his voice, can't think of anything worth saying after Rin's song has reached each and every corner of his too big house.
"Happy now?" Rin asks.
Haruka frowns, notices his boyfriend's grip is a bit looser now. His voice sounds less nervous, too, and Haruka supposes it's alright for him to turn around. He pushes red strands off Rin's face, stares at his flushed expression with something akin to adoration.
"Quite." He kisses Rin's nose. "You have a beautiful voice."
Rin looks away, flustered. "I didn't think you'd like it that much."
A smile makes its way across Haruka's face.
"What was the song about?"
Rin's blush intensifies, but he smiles too. Haruka doesn't complain when a soft kiss lands on his lips.
"You're asking too much in a single day," he mutters, and Haruka has to admit he has a point.
So he closes his eyes, holds Rin close when his boyfriend nestles his head under his chin. He wouldn't mind if Rin sang to him for his birthday, he muses. It's strange how such a mundane thing is now an intimate moment, something that belongs just to the two of them; and so Haruka treasures it, the way he treasures every moment he spends with Rin.
"Thanks for not laughing," Rin eventually whispers.
Haruka hugs him tight, kisses his red hair. He's the one who should express his gratefulness, but the peace between the rain soon mixes with sleepiness, and he can barely slur a good night before dozing off.
He dreams about the sea, about Rin's voice coming with the waves.
Author's note: I've wanted to write this for years; if not the first, Rin singing is one of the first headcanons I thought of after watching Free! for the first time.
By the way, Haruka's memory about his first kiss with Rin is a reference to another fic, To paint my dreams red, in case anyone is curious.