Shuuhei held her in his arms while she slept. He'd been waiting a long time to hold her like this. She stirred.
"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.
"Tired," she replied sleepily.
"Go back to sleep. We can leave when you wake up."
She nodded and was about to ask him where they were going when she went back to sleep.
He rested his cheek on her head and sighed contently.
She woke again with a jerk. Shuuhei had been dozing lightly and he pulled her closer as if to protect her. He looked around looking for whatever had startled her. Amused by his actions, she laughed at him.
"You're ok?" he asked, looking down at her.
"I'm fine." She looked into his dark grey eyes and wondered if she could tell him exactly how she felt right now. Happy, content, unsure of who she was with but most importantly, she felt loved. She smiled at him.
Shuuhei had to stop himself from leaning over and kissing her. He wanted her too much for his own good. He wanted to drown in her pale blue eyes.
"Where are we going?" she asked, interrupting his thoughts.
"Seireitei."
"I've never heard of Seireitei. Was I planning on going?" Her brain felt fuzzy. "I don't remember some things." She looked up at him. "I don't remember you."
He grinned. "That does not surprise me. This is the first time you've met me."
"Oh."
"I'm Shuuhei Hisagi."
"I'm Tori." Because she felt like she could sit in his lap all day, Tori stood up. "I guess I should pack."
"Tori, you can only take what will fit in my pack."
"I have my own suitcase, it'll be okay," she said, walking off. His pack hadn't been very big and she wasn't sure she'd be able to get a change of clothes in there. "How long am I going to be gone for?"
Shuuhei ran his hand through his hair. "A very long time."
"Where am I staying?"
"Hopefully with me." She looked up at him. "If you want to."
"How did you get into my house?"
"I'm not going to hurt you."
She looked at him and knew that he wouldn't. "I know. I'm just fuzzy on some details. I must have hit my head or something."
"Or something," Shuuhei muttered.
"You dress kind of different, Shuuhei."
"This is pretty standard for my line of work."
"Which is what?"
"I'm a shinigami."
"What does a shinigami do?"
Shuuhei reached out and took her hand. "Can we talk?"
"I thought we were talking."
"Do you want me to tell you why you're fuzzy on some details?"
"Do you know what happened?"
He looked away from her and sighed. "Not exactly." Shuuhei looked back at her. "You died."
Tori stared at him for a moment. "Which one of my friends put you up to this?"
"None of them. It's the truth."
"You want me to believe that I died?"
"It is the duty of a shinigami to send souls from their world to Soul Society."
"You said we were going to Seireitei."
"Seireitei is where the shinigami live. It's in Soul Society."
"So you're here to send my soul to Soul Society?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing before my death brought you here?"
"I was having dinner with my friends."
"Oh. I'm sorry you had to cut your time with them short just for me."
"It's not a problem. They were giving me a hard time anyway." He hadn't minded the interruption.
She raised a brow. "About what?" When he didn't answer, Tori goaded him. "Was it about your girlfriend?"
"I don't have a girlfriend."
"Boyfriend?" He shot her a glare and she couldn't help but giggle. "I had to eliminate all the options. I find that very hard to believe you don't have a girlfriend."
"Why?" She shrugged not really giving him an answer. "There is someone but she didn't know I existed," he said finally.
"Maybe you should show her."
"I am."
"Good." Tori looked around her closet wondering what she should take with her. "What did you do before dinner with your friends?"
"I watched you paint your toenails."
She looked back at him. "Why?"
"Because you were listening to really good music. You usually do."
"That's almost creepy knowing you were watching me. You could have lied and said something else."
"I don't have any reason to lie to you. I'm not going to lie to you."
Tori nodded. "Not many people think I listen to good music. My collection is kind of eclectic."
"That's why I like it."
"Have you been listening to my music long?"
"A few months."
"How?"
"I have no idea how or why. One day, I was tuning the radio in my office and it picked up you. A couple of weeks later, my friend in the technology department installed a viewing device in my office as a joke. It was the first time I saw you." And it had taken his breath away.
"And you watched me do stuff around my house?"
"Pretty much."
"Why?"
"You captivated me."
She laughed. "That's a good one. I don't captivate people. I'm not that interesting."
"You are to me." He held her gaze. "I think you're smart, funny, beautiful..."
"You think I'm beautiful?" He nodded. "I'll give you smart and funny but no one thinks I'm beautiful. I don't even think I'm beautiful."
"Why not?"
She shook her head. "Look at me."
"I am looking at you."
"I have a pretty face but that's it. I'm not beautiful."
"You are."
"You need your eyes checked."
Shuuhei grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the closet. He pushed her in front of a full length mirror. "Maybe you need to take a good hard look at yourself."
She was seeing it but she wasn't believing it. Her dress hung on her body because it was too big for her. Tori gaped at the person in the mirror. Shuuhei grabbed her dress pulling back the extra material until the dress fit her."That's not me. I'm not that thin. I was working out but I hadn't made my goal. It's a lovely illusion but that's not me."
"It's not an illusion. This is how your soul looks."
It was how she always wanted to look. After spending all that time struggling with her weight, she was thin. Her face looked the same but the rest of her was different. Tori turned to the side and studied her profile. "There really was a skinny girl trapped in that fat girl's body," she muttered.
"This is how I've always seen you."
"You've never seen the real me?"
"This is the real you. This is your soul."
"And you really think I'm beautiful?"
"I do." Shuuhei wiped the tear that fell down her cheek. He kissed her gently, drawing her closer to him. His hand tangled in her long black hair.
His lips were soft and she couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arms around him. His words from before echoed in her head. 'There is someone but she didn't know I existed. You captivated me. I think you're smart, funny, beautiful.' Tori broke away from him. "Me?"
"You." Shuuhei grinned at her.
"No I mean..."
"I know exactly what you mean and yes I'm interested in dating you."
She opened her mouth to ask him why but decided against it. "None of my clothes are going to fit me. Maybe packing won't be so hard."
He laughed, despite the fact that she had completely changed the subject. "We'll have to go shopping when we get to Seireitei."
She nodded and wondered how long had it been since she'd been shopping for new clothes.
...
"Does it hurt?" she asked, her voice cutting through the haze of sleep.
"It?" Shuuhei asked, wondering if she meant his scars.
His eyes were closed and he missed her grin. "This," Tori said as her finger ran lightly up his iron hard length. His fingers dug into the bed sheets. She continued to run her finger up and down him until Shuuhei didn't think he could take anymore.
His hand came around hers and he opened his eyes to look at her. He had to fight the urge to pin her beneath him. "Have you been up long?"
"A while," she shrugged.
"So this is your idea of waking me up?" She flushed. Her intent had been to wake him up but she couldn't help herself from pulling the sheet down to see more of his chest. She hadn't known he was naked. She hadn't intended for the sheet to fall that far. Shuuhei pulled her down next to him and covered them both.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."
"I'm not mad at you. You slept most of the day yesterday. I should have known you wouldn't sleep long." They laid in silence for a while. "Do you always intimately touch men you barely know?"
Tori groaned and buried her head in the pillow. It smelled like him. She wasn't sure what had compelled her to touch him. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen a naked man before. "Can we forget I did that?"
"You can. I don't think I'll be forgetting that for a long time." He grinned at her.
Tori let out a sigh. "I feel funny."
"Funny how?"
"My body just looks and feels different to me."
"Your body looks fine to me. As for how it feels, I can only imagine." And he had imagined.
"No man has felt this body."
The thought of touching her did nothing to ease his erection. Shuuhei sat up. "If you give me a minute to get dress, I'll make you breakfast." He couldn't look at her. She was far too tempting and his thoughts were far too impure.
Tori looked at him. Could she tell him the reason she'd woken up early? Would he understand how alone she felt in the dark? Tori climbed into his lap and sat facing him. She rested her head on his shoulder. "Can we just sit here a little while longer?"
"If that's what you want."
"Have you ever seen me naked?" she asked after a few minutes.
"No. The viewing portal went black whenever you were not fully dressed."
"Do you want to?"
"Yes."
"Right now?"
"Not necessarily. You have to be ready to face whatever will happen when we're naked together. I'm not going to complain if you want to take your clothes off right now and I'm not going to be upset if you want to wait."
"Why are you so sensible about things?"
"One of us has to be." He ran his hand down her hair. "Tori, I know that I want to make love to you. I know that I've wanted you since the first moment I saw you. What I don't know is what you want."
"This is all very different to me. I don't know where I am. I don't know anyone here except for you. I know that I'm attracted to you but I have no idea if it's comparable to what you feel for me." Tori looked up at him. "You are very good looking, Shuuhei."
"Thank you."
"I've never dated a man like you before."
"Are we dating, Tori?"
"Yes," she said quietly.
"So I can stop feeling guilty about wanting to kiss you again?" Shuuhei thought she might have smiled before he kissed her. He tried to keep it light for both of them but she was so giving that he couldn't stop himself from taking it further. He was aware that she wore only her skin under the oversized nightgown. Shuuhei was also painfully aware that the sheet covering him was the only barrier between them.
...
As the ice cold water of the shower beat over him some time later, Shuuhei wondered how long he'd last without devouring her. His overheated system couldn't take much more.
Tori felt a little drunk. His kiss had been potent. Or maybe it had just been him. She couldn't ever remember feeling this attracted to a man nor having one so attracted to her. She remembered going to the gym and seeing the cute guys on the treadmill. They had never looked at her. Not like Shuuhei did.
Her thoughts were disturbed by a knock on the door. She wasn't sure if she should answer it and before she had a chance to reply, a man walked in.
"Shuuhei!" he called before he saw her. "Oh. You're not Shuuhei."
"No. I'm Tori. Who are you?"
"I'm Yumichika, a friend of Shuuhei. Where is he?"
"What do you want, Yumichika?" Shuuhei asked as he walked into the room.
"You weren't in your office."
"Today's my day off."
"You're usually always in your office. Even on your off days."
"I don't need to be anymore." He glanced at Tori.
"Right. Well, they called a Vice Captains meeting to start in an hour."
"What? Why?"
"Shuuhei, I'm not a vice captain. I don't know why. Did you have plans for today?"
"As a matter of fact, I did."
"We can go later," Tori said quietly.
"I don't know how long I'll be and the stores might be closed when I get back."
"Then we can go tomorrow."
"No. You need something to wear besides that."
"I'll be alright for one more day," Tori told him.
"I'll take her," Yumichika offered. "I might have something she can wear in the meantime." He disappeared and Tori gasped.
"What happened to him?"
"He flash stepped. It's a shinigami technique."
"Can you do it?"
"Yes. I haven't with you but I can." He took her hand. "Yumichika might be a better person to shop with than me. He knows more about fashion that I do."
"You can tell me if something looks good, can't you?"
"I can." He grinned at her. "Don't let him push you around. Don't buy anything you don't want to buy."
"I won't."
"Good." Shuuhei pulled money out of his pocket and handed it to her.
"Shuuhei, I can't take your money."
"How are you going to pay for anything? Do you have any money?"
Her cheeks flushed. "No." She took the money hesitantly. "Thank you. I'll pay you back."
"You can make dinner tonight. We'll start with that."
Tori laughed and kissed him quickly. "That's a deal." She kissed him again.
Yumichika flash stepped back to Shuuhei's quarters. "Enough of that. We have some shopping to do."
Shuuhei smiled at Tori. "I'll see you when I get back." She nodded and he watched as Yumichika lead her back to his room to change.
"She's very pretty Shuuhei," Yumichika said as he waited for Tori.
"She's beautiful. Don't change her, Yumichika."
"I won't."
...
Shuuhei walked into his kitchen unsure of what he'd find but knowing that it smelled great. Thoughts of food disappeared when he saw her. For the longest time, he couldn't speak. He could only stare at her. Tori turned and saw him in the doorway.
"Oh. You're home. Dinner's almost ready." He continued to stare at her. She was starting to feel nervous. "Is there something on my dress?" she asked, looking down at it.
Shuuhei shook his head and crossed over to her. "You look amazing." The dress she wore was a royal blue that brought out her eyes. "You cut your hair," he said, running his hands through it. It had been down to her waist but now it floated to the middle of her back.
"I was nervous about it. You seemed to like it and I didn't want to cut it too short. They cut in these long bangs that I'm supposed to sweep to the side. Yumi said they draw attention to my eyes."
"They do." He ran his hand over them. "Your hair feels so soft and silky." He wondered if she felt soft and silky. Because his fingers itched to touch her, Shuuhei pulled her close and kissed her, twining their fingers together.
Tori melted against him. Even the lightest kiss from him packed a punch she couldn't deny. She wanted him. It had been something she'd been thinking about all day.
Shuuhei hesitantly pulled away from her. "Tori." He waited for her to look up at him. There was desire in her eyes. "Your timer is going off."
"My timer?" She looked in the direction of the noise. "My timer. Dinner." She hurried over to the stove. "You could make yourself useful by setting the table," she told Shuuhei.
As they sat down to dinner, Tori told Shuuhei about her shopping experience. "Yumi's really nice. He has expensive tastes but he finds a cheaper alternative."
"Did you get a lot of clothes?"
"I did and I have some money left over. I'll have to give it back to you."
"Keep it in case you need it."
She nodded. "I need a place to put my clothes."
"Is there a problem with my closet?"
"No. I... um... You'd let me hang them in your closet?"
"I could probably find a drawer for you to put everything in too."
"Thank you."
"Are you finished?" he asked as he stood.
"Yes." Shuuhei took her plate and his own to the sink. "I'll do the dishes," Tori said as she cleared off the table.
"You cooked dinner. It's only fair that I do the dishes."
"Ok then. Will you tell me about yourself? I don't know much about you. You watched me so you know me."
"I know your habits but not everything about you. What would you like to know about me?"
"Everything," Tori replied.
They talked for a long time. After Shuuhei had finished the dishes, they had sat at the kotatsu. Tori found it was easy to talk to him about anything.
"We should have put your clothes away," Shuuhei said as he looked at the clock and noticed how late it was getting.
"I can do it tomorrow." Tori shrugged. "There is something I want your opinion on. I bought it without Yumi knowing." Shuuhei grinned at her. "I'll go put it on and you can tell me how it looks."
"It'll be my pleasure."
Tori changed quickly and looked at herself in the mirror. She wondered if Shuuhei would like what she had bought. Taking a deep breath to help calm her nerves, she walked quietly back to where Shuuhei was waiting. "When I saw this, I thought of you." Shuuhei looked up at her and for the second time that day, he was incapable of speech. The lingerie was cut high on her thigh to make her legs look longer. The black silk came up to cover her breasts but offer enough of a view to tantalize him. There was white piping along the top and a small white bow nestled between her breasts. "It reminded me of your uniform and when I saw it, I wondered what it would be like to have your hands on me."
"Tori," he began as she knelt down in front of him.
"Shuuhei, I want you to make love to me. I want you to touch me." She took his hand and laid it on her thigh.
"You look sexy." Shuuhei ran his thumb over her skin. "This might take a while." She laughed and felt her nerves unravel. She had no idea how serious he was. Shuuhei wanted to touch and taste every inch of her and he was going to take his time doing it.
...
Someone called out her name. Tori struggled to figure out who. She heard it again. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she saw Shuuhei.
"You were dreaming," he said quietly.
"I was?" Shuuhei gathered her into his arms. Tori closed her eyes and tried to recall the dream. As it came back to her, she remembered she had the same dream yesterday morning. "I ran away and then I was alone."
"Why did you run away?"
She shook her head. "I don't know. I had the same dream yesterday. When I woke up, I was alone."
"You aren't alone. I'm here."
"Shuuhei will you hold me for a while?" He held her, placing a kiss on her forehead. After a few minutes, Tori shifted and kissed him. She needed him more than she was willing to admit to herself. She rose over him in the pale morning light, giving herself to him.
Afterwards, Tori laid down beside him, resting her cheek on his shoulder.
"You should come to work with me," Shuuhei suggested. He didn't want her to be alone.
"What am I going to do there? Watch you work?"
"What are you going to do here?" he countered. "Besides, I like having someone beautiful to look at while I work."
She smiled. "Well when you put it that way, how can I resist?"
...
They flirted with nothing but a look and a smile. Tori occasionally asked him questions about his work but for the most part, she just watched him.
"Excuse me, Vice Captain Hisagi. The Captain Commander is on his way."
"Thank you."
"The Captain Commander?" Tori asked.
"Head of the Gotei 13," Shuuhei explained.
"Does he come by every day?"
"Only when he's turning in his article for Seireitei Communications."
"So everyone needs to act like they are working?" Tori smiled at him.
"Everyone here does work. And they work hard." He handed her the latest issue of the paper.
Tori began reading it before the Captain Commander came in. "This is really good Shuuhei. You're a good writer."
"Thank you."
"Vice Captain His... Tori?" They both looked up at Captain Commander Yamamoto. The papers in his hand fell to the ground. "You found her. You found my granddaughter."
"Your granddaughter, sir?" Shuuhei asked.
Yamamoto pulled Tori out of her chair and was hugging her. "You've been gone for so long. Why did you run away?"
"I... uh..." Tori looked at Shuuhei for help.
"It doesn't matter. You're here now. I'll take you home." He turned to Shuuhei. "Thank you for finding her Vice Captain Hisagi. You have no idea how much this means to me." He took her arm and began heading back to the first division. "It's so good to have you back."
...
Shuuhei opened the letter on his desk.
Shuuhei,
Let me start by saying I had no idea. You have to believe me, Shuuhei. I had no reason to lie to you or to lie about this. I'm sorry if it hurt you.
The day I ran away, I was supposed to get married. It was an arranged marriage and something I didn't want to do. I didn't like, let alone love, the man I was supposed to marry. Our marriage was going to unite two families. It didn't matter to anyone that it wasn't something I wanted. So on the day I was to walk down the aisle, I snuck out and ran away. I was alone. Sometime over the next few days I died. No one knows how it happened. Or if they do, they aren't telling me. I was born into the human world where you eventually found me.
Shuuhei, I want you to know that tonight I'll be looking up at the moon and thinking of you. I hope you'll be looking at the moon and thinking of me. I want to see you again but I haven't figured out how to get back to the ninth division. I'm not sure where I am exactly. I know I'm not in the first division.
I miss you.
Tori
She'd been gone less than a week and Shuuhei had no doubt that he'd see her again. He just wasn't sure how or when. He didn't know how to ask the Captain Commander about her. The only thing he knew for sure was that tonight he'd be looking up at the moon and thinking of Tori.
...
She looked at her grandfather. "No," Tori said firmly.
"Tori. You will do as you're told."
"Didn't you learn from the last time? I'm not going to do this."
"Tori, you will marry Kansui in two weeks time. That is all."
She ran to her room, slamming the door shut behind her. She cried herself to sleep and when she awoke, moonlight spilled into the room. Tori walked over to the balcony and looked out at the moon. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
There was a soft knock on the door and Tori looked back as it opened.
"Tori, I know this is hard on you but I am not my brother." Kansui smiled at her. "You are pretty. Much prettier than the woman he married after you ran away."
"I'm not pretty. I'm beautiful."
Kansui smirked at her. "I wouldn't go that far." He put his hand on her shoulder. "Tell me about you, Tori."
"I like music."
"What kind of music?"
"All kinds really." She named bands she liked.
"Tori, you can't listen to that garbage. We'll have to refine your tastes."
"I like my music."
"You will not argue with me on this."
"Fine." Tori folded her arms over her chest and turned her back to him.
"I will only tolerate this kind of behavior for a short while. Once I reach my limit, you will either change or I will find another woman who will do as I ask."
"You'd end our marriage?"
He laughed. "No. You're worth more to me as my wife. I'll take on lovers my dear. You can too if you want."
Anger bubbled inside her. "Get out of my room. Now." As the door closed behind him, Tori looked back out at the moon. "I'm so sorry, Shuuhei."
No one noticed that over the next two weeks Tori became quieter. She became a shell of the woman she was before. No one noticed that she retired early every night and sat out on her balcony looking at the moon, tears streaming down her cheeks.
...
Tori looked at herself in the mirror. The woman she saw was stunning. The dress she wore was luxurious. Her hair was pulled back in a sophisticated style held in place by a jeweled clip. She wished she was anywhere else but here. Last night, she spent the entire night crying at the moon. She was heartbroken.
They had barricaded her in her room to keep her from running away again. She swallowed back tears as her grandfather walked in. "You look nice," the old man said. Tori could only nod. She didn't trust her voice. He took her hand and lead her down the hallway. Tori peeked inside while they waited for their cue. Being the granddaughter of the Captain Commander, she knew all the top shinigami were in attendance. She saw Shuuhei and wondered if it was hard for him to be there.
Yamamoto took her arm as they made their way down the aisle. Tori met Shuuhei's eye. She held his gaze as long as she could before looking up at Kansui.
Shuuhei thought he saw sadness in her eyes but he wasn't sure if it was really there or if it was something he was hoping for. He didn't want to be here but there had been no way to turn down the Captain Commander's invitation. He listened to the ceremony begin but he wasn't hearing the words. He hated that he could see her so clearly from his seat. He could still recall the feel of her hair, the way she went pliant in his arms when he'd kissed her, the desire that had been in her eyes when they made love.
"If there is anyone here who sees any reason why these two should not be joined in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
His friends looked at him. He knew they did. Shuuhei keep his eyes on the bride. She didn't look at him.
The officiator continued. Shuuhei stood and walked out silently. He couldn't stay any longer. He couldn't watch the woman he loved marry another man. He thought about flash stepping back to his office but he decided he wanted to walk. He wanted to be alone.
It wasn't long before someone was following him. He heard them but he didn't look back. Shuuhei shrugged it off as one of his friends.
"Shuuhei!" He turned around and she leapt into his arms. He couldn't stop himself from kissing her.
He rested his forehead on hers. "Tori."
"You didn't object. I kept waiting for you to and you didn't. Then he went on with the ceremony."
"I didn't know you wanted me to object."
"You left," Tori continued. "I watched you leave while Kansui said 'I do'. Then I was asked 'Do you take Kansui as your husband?' Do you know what I said to him?"
"What did you say, Tori?"
"No. I don't. There's a man out there who doesn't think I'm pretty. He thinks I'm beautiful. There's a man out there that likes the same kind of music I do. There's a man out there that wants me as I am. There's a man out there that wouldn't take on lovers when he was with me. But most importantly, there's a man out there that I love." She took a breath. "I think Yumi was the one who started clapping. I didn't stay after that. I ran after you."
"I'm really sorry I missed that. I just couldn't watch you marry another man." Shuuhei kissed her forehead. "Tori, I love you. I feel in love with you the first time I saw you."
"The first time I woke up in your arms, I felt loved. You never said it, but I could see it in the way you looked at me." She smiled at him. "I love you, Shuuhei," Tori said as she kissed him.
"What are you wearing under your dress, Tori?"
"Trying to get me naked, Shuuhei?"
He laughed. "Yes and no. This dress doesn't suit you and I'm not taking you home while you're wearing it."
She smiled. "Well it's nothing sexy like what I wore for you. I wasn't really looking forward to tonight."
"Tori, you make an oversized nightgown sexy." Shuuhei unzipped her dress. "You aren't wearing much under here." She only wore shorts that clung to her.
"There's not much you can put under a dress like this," she laughed. "I'm glad it's you that's looking." He pulled the clip out of her hair and it tumbled down her back.
Shuuhei helped her step out of the dress. With her hand still in his, he pulled her close. "You might want to hang on. It won't take long to get home."
Tori giggled and Shuuhei flashed stepped them back to his quarters.