"Hey its been a while hasn't it? I barely log onto this site anymore because I've been so busy lately, but my life has become a blur. I'll start from the beginning for you since I think, as a girl you can help me.
My name is Heiwajima Shizuo, and most people around these parts know me as the strongest man in all of Ikebukuro. Everyone knows my strength and what I can do. Ever since I was little, my strength; my anger drove me to do things I never wanted to. I hate violence and right now I hate violence more than ever before.
It all started during High School. I met an annoying child by the name of Orihara, Izaya. This boy drove my hatred to lengths I cannot fully describe. It has been many years since our High School days and still to this day I want to kill that man for all of the times he's messed around with my head. I cannot forgive him for what he has done, but deep inside I love him.
Yes. There. I said it. I love Izaya-kun. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I can't help but love that obnoxious fucking bastard. He always gets in my way and always finds a way to tick me off except for one day; that one fateful day when things between us changed forever."
"It was a normal day in Ikebukuro, I had just finished talking to Celty about her latest mission. Apparently there was a new cop in town that had been scaring the daylights out of her. I never would have thought someone with strength rivaling my own would be scared by a measly police officer on a motorcycle. I guess everyone has their own fears to conquer. As I thought that silently to myself I looked at the floor thinking about my own weakness to that man.
'Yeah right,' I thought to myself as I walked along the sidewalk. A few people gazed up at me with eyes of amazement as I passed by. Some ran, and others just stood there. I peacefully gazed at them and somehow I quickly induced fear into all of them. I guess my curse really is that well known.
"Ah why are you looking so glum Shizu-chan?" a voice suddenly said to me. There was only one person that referred to me as Shizu-chan and that man was going to die! Today! I slowly removed my sunglasses and folded them up before placing them in my breast cockpit.
"Izaya-Kuuuuun!" I yelled back in response turning to face him. "Haven't you learned your lesson about trespassing onto Ikebukuro!"
Izaya shrugged his shoulders and laughed as if my threats meant nothing.
"Oh Shizu-chan you always entertain me so eagerly." He clapped his hands together as if I was putting on some kind of show. I could feel my temper rising. My hands started to shake and I could feel my blood begin to boil. My legs started to move on there own.
I quickly ran towards Izaya. Izaya merely giggled and pranced off as my arms went to work on their own. Before I knew it a vending machine, a yield sign, and a stop sign had been thrown. I watched them fly towards him as my feet continually pushed me onwards. I can't remember much else of the chase, but I do remember that I was almost hit by a car.
After losing sight of him my legs continued to drive me forward for another hour or so until I finally stopped and found myself right where it had all began. I looked around expecting to find him nearby, but I didn't. I paused and let out a sigh of relief glad that my rage had finally subsided.
"That was so much fun Shizu-chan!" a voice said before it suddenly wrapped its arms around me. I slowly started to turn around. My face was a few inches from his. I gave him an angry glare as my temper started to swell once more. Suddenly something shocking happened, a gentle bump from a passerby shoved Izaya onto me. I felt his body hit me as if it were a feather, but then I suddenly felt the taste of something against my lips. From within my swelling rage I noticed that Izaya's lips were pressed against mine. My rage swelled, but I was paralyzed. The moment felt like an eternity even thought it was but the briefest second.
"Izaya-kun….," I whispered softly as our lips parted.
"Yes Shizu-chan?" he replied as if nothing had happened. "Aren't you going to kill me now? Or don't tell me you've had a crush on me all this time like a little school girl? Fu fu fu." He chuckled and giggled before quickly running off into the crowd of people. I was about to give chase, but my rage subsided and instead I yelled his name at the top of my lungs. Shocked faces looked at me before I slowly moved away hoping not to attract the attention of too many people nearby."
"A few days passed and I didn't see him again, but deep down my emotions swelled at the thought of seeing him while my outward self swelled with rage. I can't recall how many times I screamed or yelled or how many different items were thrown throughout that week, but I do recall my thoughts being fixated on him.
And then suddenly he appeared during one of those fits.
"Shizu-chan? Why are you making such a mess out of everything?" he slyly said into my ear as if he were a lover. I turned viciously to see him once more and noticed he had a slight feminine charm. I blushed slightly and then grabbed another sign post, a stop sign, and readied my body to throw it. As it was about to leave my hand I stopped. Izaya raised an eyebrow.
"Well aren't you going to do it Shizu-chan? Aren't you going to finish me right here and right now?" he said to me spreading his arms wide open as if he were some kind of sacrifice. I dropped the stop sign and it fell to the sidewalk with a loud clang. A few heads turned before quickly going back to their business.
"Oh! Shizu-chan! How interesting you are! You can't kill me can you! Is it some kind of sense of honor? Can you not kill a man who's willing to die in front of you?" he said in a mocking tone. My anger started to boil again. I opened my mouth yelling only half of his name before he spoke once more.
"Or does Shizu-chan love me!" he smiled with a wry grin on his face. He then laughed even more
"Can you imagine that! Shizu-chan! In LOVE! WITH ME!" Izaya keeled over in laughter as I just stood there my face slowly turning a deep shade of crimson.
I walked over to the curled up laughing form of Izaya-kun and said, "And what if I do!" I tried my best to say it as menacingly as possible as I stooped low over his small frame. I glared at him for a few moments before he looked up.
"Oh Shizu-chan you are interesting, but please! You don't love me! Haha! You could care less!" He continued to laugh before I suddenly picked him up by the wool of his jacket. I brought his face close to mine and gave him a soft and gentle kiss. It had a slight hint of cherry. Was it chapstick? I pulled my lips away and looked at him with an awkward expression.
"Shizu-chan finally admitted it! I'm so glad that I put on chapstick for him on the right day!" he said to me mockingly. I glared back at him before saying "IZAYA-KUN!" My arms instantly threw him into the nearest pile of garbage I could find. He softly landed in the garbage and laughed.
"Shizu-chan loves me! Haha! Wait till everyone I know online finds out!" He quickly got up, but before then he gave me a sheet of paper. It had the name of a restaurant on it and a time. "Meet me here on Friday. Ok Shizu-chan!" he said with a High School girl giggle before suddenly disappearing.
My anger boiled. That man! He was going to pay! No one does that to me! No one! Even if I do love him, I am going to kill Izaya. Or at least so I swore to myself on that day."
"I don't know what drove me to actually go that day, but I did. As I approached the restaurant I noticed the ridiculous sign which was displayed above the entrance. It had a stern and serious looking woman with beautiful pink flowing hair. She looked like some kind of warrior goddess out of some fairy tale. Below her was the title of the restaurant, "Thunder Lady." I rolled my eyes at the sign before that voice suddenly appeared behind me once again.
"Shizu-chan!" it yelled in a high pitch squeal. I turned and noticed something was off about Izaya-kun. He wore black short shorts and gray stockings instead of his usual pants. "Does Shizu-chan like them! I wore it so we could be more convincing as a couple!"
"IZAYA!" I yelled in a fit of fury.
Izaya-kun simply turned as he giggled to himself before holding onto me as if he was a woman. My rage lessened and at his gentle tug we strode into the restaurant and we were swiftly seated. If the sign on the outside was any indication of how ridiculous the restaurant was then it must have passed over my head because the inside was filled with things typical anime freak would enjoy. Giant yellow birds, warriors with swords three time their size, women who change outfits like magical girls and much more.
Once we were seated Izaya-kun and I both ordered the Fal'Cie special. Izaya-kun looked at me quietly with a smirk on his face as if he were about to say something. I looked back menacingly before he said something to me.
"Shizu-chan! Isn't this a wonderful date! And incredibly romantic!" He laughed once more. His jokes were getting old fast. This man, I must kill him. The thoughts rushed through my mind as his laughter continued. This embarrassment could no longer continue. My arms moved in a quick blur and the table was flipped. Everyone in the restaurant turned to look at me.
"Izaya-KUN!" I yelled as I picked the table up ready to throw it. Izaya merely stood there laughing before prancing around me with a stupid smirk plastered onto his face.
"Kill me! Go ahead!" he giggled at me before he grabbed my arm and pulled me outside. We ran for it at that point. We knew the police would be behind us at any moment. During the escape we both got split up, but not before Izaya-kun had given me another slip of paper with a different date, time, and location. This would be the first of many dates, but unfortunately I still had the table from the restaurant gripped tightly in my hand."
"For a few months we continually met up. With each encounter we went a little further on Izaya-kun's request. First it was a gentle kiss, then long lasting kisses, then hickies, and then finally make-out sessions. I hate saying this, but I was happy with that man. In fact I had my anger under control. For once I could go a full week without hurting an innocent street sign. Those times were great and I felt like Izaya-kun felt exactly how I did until that one fateful day.
It was a normal day just like any other. Izaya-kun and I were together when he suddenly told me something that I was not expecting.
"Hey Shizu-chan, have you ever kissed anyone else besides me!" he jokingly said to me. I gently shook my head and he chuckled. My eyebrows twitched slightly. I didn't like where there was headed.
"You see Shizu-chan there's this woman I live with. She's a crazy psychopath and she still kisses…," he said to me this time not joking. His sentence never finished though as I flipped the table before he could finish. How could he do this to me! I knew this man was evil. I knew I should have just killed him that day. I can't believe I fell for his tricks and his lies. Why!
"Izayaaaaaaaa-kun! I'm going to kill you!" I said loudly my voice booming as I ran towards him. We both ran out of the building with me hot on his tails. I threw whatever objects I could find along the way. Plates, knives, forks, pens, chairs just to name a few. As my legs moved on their own, I suddenly picked up a vending machine and threw it. The coke machine flew and landed on Izaya.
I ran towards the vending machine and smirked. Finally he was dead, but there was no blood. Finding it odd I picked up the vending machine and noticed there was an open manhole below the vending machine.
"IZAYAAAAA," were the words I yelled at his escape. Before I walked away there was a sheet of paper on the ground. It was his handwriting and it mentioned another time and place. I took the sheet of paper and crumbled it."
"The appointed day on the sheet of paper was over 2 weeks after that day. I don't know why I showed up. Actually I do. I planned to kill that bastard. I planned to finally set Ikebukuro free of the man who caused me to destroy so much.
As I stood on the corner of Thunder Lady he approached me once more out of thin air. "Shizu-chan! Its been quite a while hasn't it!" he said with a giggle. I turned to face him and rage swelled up in me once more. This man, he needed to die! I raised my fist to knock him out, but his words stopped me.
"So nothing's changed then? I see. You are so very interesting Shizu-chan, but you are so violent. No matter what you do you resort to violence? Heh," he said as if he expected something out of me. I blushed slightly with my fist frozen in midair. I pulled him close to me and pressed my lips against his.
It was only for an instant, and then he was out from my arms. "No no. Shizu-chan! I do like you, but none of that ok!" he said to me.
"Clearly Shizu-chan can't control his anger especially when I wasn't finished talking. I was going to say that she still kisses me in her head…she wants to, but can't!"
He laughed softly as if something he said was funny.
"Maybe some other time ok Shizu-chan?" he said and then slyly slipped away."
"Weeks went by until I saw him once more. He was talking to someone on the street before he noticed me. Up to this day I had told myself I would make things right. I would fix things between us when suddenly he came up to me.
"Shizu-chan! How have you been?" he said to me as my fists began to shake. I gave him no reply. A few moments passed and he merely gazed at me. My mouth opened and I was about to apologize when he suddenly punched me in the gut and skipped away.
"Izaya-kun!" I yelled and he turned.
"Yes Shizu-chan?" he said turning back to face me. He took a few steps towards me gazing into my eyes. I took a few steps to meet him before I quickly pulled him close and closed my lips around his. I had no words to say. I hoped this action would show him my feelings, but instead he wiggled in my grasp before he pulled his lips off of mine.
"Why can't you just enjoy yourself and leave me alone!" he said to me in a yell before kicking me. "You violent brute. Everything you do is violent."
He slipped out of my grasp as I slightly loosened my grip. He ran off clearly upset as I stood there expecting something else.
"Why….?" was the only word that I could utter from my lips. What had I done? What had I done to deserve this? I had always acted the same and now I was rejected. I turned and walked away. Now I could never cure my rage. The only buffer I had was gone and from that day on it was the same no matter what action I took to fix things.
Whenever I would try to get a simple kiss he would simply push me away. I'm frustrated. My hate is teeming once more because I have no idea what to do and that's why I've told you all of this. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this…to someone on the net…but I don't know what to do.
So do you have any advice Kanra-san?"