Chapter 1: The first steps
Leaning away from Toby Cananaugh, whom she was currently hugging, Spencer Hastings looks over her shoulder to her mother, her sister Melissa and Mrs. Abrahms a few meters away, staring at her in disaproval and disgust. A little fear is visible in their facial expressions.
But for once, Spencer doesn't care. Tobys arms are still around her and she feels safe; for the first time she can remember she doesn't care what her mother thinks of her.
"Are you ready to go?" Toby whispers into her ear.
"As I'll ever be," Specncer replies as she grabs the offered hand and turns her back once and for all on her mother and sister.
Two weeks later Spencer's sitting in her room thinking about Toby and herself after this turning point involving her mother and sister. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, which is doing her homework and preparing a project, she's busy remembering the great moments she's spent with Toby so far. She couldn't be hapier – well, she could if it wasn't for A but in her world, she couldn't be.
Smiling, Spencer remembers the night she actually really began to notice the feelings she'd developed for him.
At the hotel room, a couple of weeks back, they had placed scrabble and he'd beat her by far – in fact, as he'd already told her back then, he'd kicked her ass – that fact alone made him special as nobody had been able to beat her at this in years; but what had really made him unique was that he'd been the first and only one she hadn't been pissed at for it.
Toby, getting up from the bed after he'd announced his victory to an astonished Spencer, had walked over to his bag and pulled a pair of pajamas from it.
Seeing the surprised expression on her face, he'd then added:
"Just kidding!"
When he'd grinned, the dimple on his chin seemed to be even more prominent. But of course, he didn't grin very often.
While he'd thrown the top of the Pjs over to her, Spencer had noticed with a little satisfaction that he had smiled with her more often than she had ever seen him do. Then again, he didn't really have any reason to smile but Spencer was determinded not to dwell on that further that night.
While he'd gone into the bathroom and closed the door as far as it was possible (because it was broken), Specer had once again focused on the scrablleboard, dwelling and pondering how he could habe possibly beaten her at a game she knew so well.
When she'd, rather accidently, looked up, he'd been in the middle of taking off his shirt and she hadn't been able to help notiicng his really impressive upper body.
Thinking that she could be really lucky that he hadn't seen her watching him change, Spencer blinks and comes back to the reality of her dark room; it used to be a safe place but it isn't anymore, not really. Not with A and everything.
Even though she knows she should really be doing her homework, Spencer continues thinking about Toby and how hard life must be for him. She really begins to be able to imagine what life must have been like for him these last couple of months with people dodging him all over town for two crimes he didn't commmit, one of them being murder.
People crossed the street when they saw you and damaged things on your property.
Sighing, because she had been one of the people to make his life worse, Spencer lies back on her bed. He's so misunderstood. She still doesn't know how he was capable of forgiving her after all she's done to him and his family.
His family – Jenna. Spencer doesn't seem to be able to figure her out.
She shakes her head, getting rid of the memory of Tobys blind step sister.
She knows she's in love with him. His way of being there for her no matter what, of believing in her makes her feel so much stronger and above all, safe.
"How could I have been so blind in the past? ", she askes herself, he might be one of the most correct and honest people she had ever met. And despite of what you might think if you first met him, he was loving, trustworthy, and incredibly strong, handling everything that had happend to him and -at least the fire-would stay with him and affect him for the rest of his life.
He is a complex person but only if you don't look at him properly. After everything that was done to him-partly also by her-she doesn't know how he's able to still trust anyone at all, or let anyone near him. But he does, and she's thankful to that.
The next day, Spencer walks down the stairs, when suddenly she hears her mother and farther downstairs. They sound like they're having a fight.
"...doesn't have a good influence on Spencer. Not at all. He's dangerous. And creepy. He scares me," her mom is just saying.
"I bet they're talking about Toby." Spencer thinks, gritting her teeth and balling her fists to stop from making her presence known to her parents.
"I know, the Cavanaugh-kid scares me, too," Spencer's dad replies, "And I already kicked him out of my house once because I don't want him near our daughter more than you do. But Spencer is a clever girl, isn't she? Why would she spend time with him if she thought he was dangerous?"
Spencer suddenly feels grateful to him.
"Because she can't tell, she is in love with him! I saw her kiss him the other night at the festival. It almost gave me a heartattack. And I'm not the only one who saw it. People all over the town think she's going crazy. And hanging out with Toby Cavanaugh doesn't make it any better," her mom's voice is getting louder and higher, like always when she's panicked or furious.
"I know. Trust me, I know. And Spencer is clever, she's going to figure out soon enough that he's dangerous and bad for her. It'll just take her some time but she'll come to her senses," her dad reasons.
The surge of sympathy Spencer had just felt for her farther disappears as soon as she hears those words coming out of his mouth.
"Maybe you're right. But I can't just watch her run into her own miserie. I'm jumpy every second when I know she's with him," her mother explains.
And they walk off, leaving Spencer breathless, angry and disgusted on the stairs.
When Spencer first enters the school that day, she feels people sneeking glances at her. She nervously brushes her hair behind her ears, wondering idly how Toby was capable of bearing this kind of thing when it was even worse for him. She begins looking for Aria, Hanna or Emily.
But it's none of her friends that she spots first. It's Jenna, carefully walking with her guiding stick and looking as scary as always.
Even though she knows that Jenna can't see her, she still turns and takes a detour to her locker because Jenna-who really freaks her out-seems to have the frightening ability to sense those around her and their feelings and fears.
She spends time with her friends, chatting with them and focusing on her classes but she can't wait to be home and spend some time with Toby.
When she gets home, she sends him a text message:
"Do you want to come around to study? -Spencer."
While she is waiting for an aswer, Spencer sits down on her bed and gets her things out. Because she doesn't know what else to do, she starts doing her homework.
More than half and hour has past and Toby still hasn't answerd or come over. She's giving up on the idea of spending a nice and fun afternoon with her boyfriend.
"Can you even call it that? Boyfriend. Does he really see me as his girlfriend?", she thinks, wondering and running a hand through her long, dark curls.
Spencers phone buzzes and she takes it out, it's a message from Toby:
"Sry it took me so long, Jenna was watching. I'll be over soon. -Toby".
Spencer walks downstairs to get something for them to drink. Coming back upstairs, she shoves aside most of the things that are lying on her bed and the armchair, and puts them away.
Of course she kind of hopes he will sit on the bed with her, but what if he doesn't want to?
A knock on the slidedoor causes her to flinch. She quickly takes a look at her big, framed mirror, straightens her shirt and slides open the slidedoor, stepping aside so Toby can come in.
He's wearing a pair of dark jeans and a plain white T-shirt that fits snugly to his muscled chest. His hair falls over his forhead in its very own toby-ish way that makes him look so good to her.
"Hi!" she says, smiling broadly at him, not bothering to hide how happy his presence makes her.
"Hey!" His smile is a bit more timid but his blue eyes light up and the dimple on his chin shows again. He bends down to kiss her and yet again she notices how much she loves the way he kisses her and holds her in his arms as he does.
It's only after the kiss that she realizes that he is carrying something. A book.
"What did you tell Jenna-where does she think you are?", Spencer asks and gestures for him to take a seat.
"It's not like I owe Jenna a explanition. I don't have to tell her where I'm going, Spencer." He sits on the edge of the bed.
"Since I don't really study, I brought a book," he explains, as he lifts it up a bit for her to see.
"How thoughtful of you.", she teases and smiles at him before sitting back on her bed, so she can bend over her history book.
They stay quiet for the next couple of minutes when Spencer realizes she can't really concentrate on her studies because all she can think about is Toby sitting next to her, on the edge of her bed, reading.
"Do you maybe want to sit down somewhere more comfortable?", she asks, a little nervous. Toby looks up from his book, his blue eyes examine her for a moment. Then he takes off his sneakers and scoots over to the head of the bed, invitingly opening his arms.
She is glad that he does that, because she wouldn't have been sure of what to do if he hadn't.
Smiling, Spencer takes her things in one arm and carefully leans back against his chest. He wraps his arms around her and holds the book so he can still read.
Spencer can't help but notice how well she seems to fit in his arms. And how safe she feels there.
"Are you comfortable?", she asks and turns her head to see his face as he answers. But he just smiles and nods. They go back to being quiet.
"We're each doing our own thing but we are still together. That is the way it's supposed to be, it's perfect!"", she thinks before going back to concentrating on her homework and her studying.
They both flinch when his phone starts ringing. He checks the display and frowns at what he sees. "Jenna," he mutters.
"Go ahead, take it!", Spencer looks at him, "It's better that way."
He picks up his phone.
"What do you want, Jenna?" Spencer hears Jenna's voice on the other end of the line, slightly modified: "Where are you?"
Toby lifts his eyebrows at Spencer who even holds her breath.
"Its none of your business, Jenna."
"Yes, it is! I...," Jenna answers, her voice growing angrier.
"No, it's not. And I'll tell you once again: Leave me alone!" Toby says and than hangs up on his stepsister.
Spencer can tell by the serious look and the frown that he isn't sure that what he did was right. "Don't worry about her," Spencer says, to calm herself as well as him, she also doesn't want this afternoon ruined by Jenna who has destroyed enough already.
He's frowning worriedly; Spencer doesn't really like it.
"You know Jenna," he says and Spencer looks down. Yes, she knows Jenna.
"I don't think she knows you're here," she says anyway. Toby nods, looking thoughtful, but not adding anything to the conversation.
The pair goes on studying in silence for another hour before Spencer sits up and stretches.
"Do you want to take a break and go for a walk?"
He nods, a small smile playing on his lips and they grab their jackets and leaves the house.
As they walk a little into the forest behind Spencer's house, Toby takes Spencer's hand and runs the other through his think, brown hair, causing it to stick out in every possible direction. Spencer smiles at him, allowing herself to be happy.
It feels great holding his hand, secure, right.
Suddenly, she spots a purple flower on the side of the path they're walking on.
"I love these flowers!" she calls out in enthusiasm and drags Toby with her to kneel down beside the plant.
"I keep on forgetting the name of it though," she adds, causing Toby to chuckle while they both examine the plant, Spencer smiling at it. She doesn't know why but this flower has always fascinated her a lot.
"I guess, there are a lot of things I don't know about you," Toby muses as he stands back up. Spencer turns and crosses the path to look at another one of the purple flowers. When she stands back up, he's right behind her and captures her cheek in his callosed palm. Spencer leans her head into his touch, her heart speeds and a warmth spreads through her body in contentment.
He carefully and softly sticks the flower he has in his hand behind her ear and into her hair.
"Beautiful," he whispers. For a moment they stare at each other. Spencer sees the emotion in his clear blue eyes and doesn't ever want to look away.
"I don't know that much about you either. For example, I never knew you were such a romantic," she smiles up at him, her arms around his neck, her body pressed against his. He merely shrugs and smiles and they continue walking, closely pressed together, his arm around her shoulder, hers around his waist.
While they walked they talked about everything and anything, about each other, trying to fill some of the gaps.
When Toby drops Spencer off at her house they spend some time just staring at the full moon.
"Toby?", Spencer askes, getting a little nervous because of what she is about to ask him.
"Yes?", he looks down on her, his blue eyes glittering in the moonlight.
"I was wondering...", Spencer trails off, too scared to acutally say it out loud.
"You can ask me anything, Spencer." Toby reassures her, looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and kindness in his eyes.
*A/N: So guys, this was the first chapter! I hope you liked it. Don't worry, there will be more interesting things happening that don't exactly relate to PLL. I just needed to get started softly. :) Im sorry for all phrasing and spelling mistakes, english isnt my mothertounge. I decided to write a story in it anyway. Pls review and pls tell me what u honestly think of it! Like bad things, too. Id wanna try to improve my story as I go along! So keep reading!
XO
Layla*