"All That Matters"
Well, I'm back wih another story! This time it is a Vocaloid fanfiction. Actually, I'm not interested in Vocaloid at all - AT ALL, really. But there is a couple that I like very much - as you can easily guess knowing me, this is MikuXLuka pairing. I've been interested in them since I accidentally watched several versions of "Magnet" video including the one from their live concert. I liked those two girls together and started checking fanart and reading fanfiction about them, and after some time I found a totally awesome story "On&On" (y8ay8a, thank you for your hard work again, this is masterpiece!), which became my personal fetish =)) There are other perfect stories about them, too. All of that made me really really love this couple and inspired me to write this humble story. I wanted to finish it so eagerly I even put aside one of my other fics that was almost completed))
It's fluffy and finishes happily, as always, but sorry for the beginning, it may be pretty unexpected taking in account my preferences, I presume XD
However, enjoy & criticize!
One sunny day Miku entered the door of the studio where she and all the other Vocaloids recorded their songs. She had been quite in a good mood lately – a new amusement park was set in the neighboring area not so long ago, and several days before there was its long-awaited opening. She planned to call Luka to check this place together that's why she came to the studio even though she actually had no business there that day. Thinking of Luka the teal-haired girl smiled gently and approached one of the rooms where her friend should be at the present moment. Miku looked inside the room wishing to call Luka, but the sight that she saw there made her smile faded and she turned as pale as death.
Lit by the sunlight from outside Luka and Kaito were having sex.
The boy was sitting on the chair by the wide window holding Luka's slim waist, and Luka was sitting on top of him, moving steadily. The slinky pastel-pink dress, which was the same color as her hair that Miku adored so much, glimmered in the sunbeams.
Miku was completely shocked. She didn't want to believe her eyes, and her heart almost stopped dead. What she felt was not just jealousy or pain, but despair that suddenly overwhelmed her – as if she lost the most precious thing she had ever got in this world.
Miku couldn't utter a word or even move – it seemed like her legs glued to the floor. She made a great effort to make a step away from the door, then the second one, then she suddenly recovered and retreated hurriedly.
..She didn't remember how she got home. The young woman opened her door, throwing herself on the bed in exhaustion. She could not even cry – there was something heavy in her throat that didn't let her breathe freely. She had planned to eat with Luka somewhere, but the appetite left her completely now. The slumber couldn't help either - when she closed her eyes all she could see before them was Luka. Luka. And Luka again.
The day grew into evening, but nothing distracted usually positive girl from her sorrow. That's why all Miku managed to do during that day was taking a bath and letting her long hair down. After that she just curled up in bed motionless. Time passed awfully slow, and the clock ticking almost drove the teal-haired girl insane, but after several sleepless hours she managed to fall asleep somehow.
Next day fortunately was Saturday so Miku didn't have to go to school or to the studio. The young Vocaloid didn't even realize any of that - she just kept lying covering her eyes with the hand, deep in her moody thoughts.
Suddenly she heard someone ringing at the door. Miku just could not face anybody in such condition, but the ringing got even more persistent. Miku felt as if the annoying sound of the doorbell was drilling a hole in her head, so she made herself get up and open the door. That was Luka behind it, Luka with such a desperate and at the same time painful face that Miku couldn't say a word because of tons of emotions that overwhelmed her immediately at the same second she saw the girl.
The latter also seemed to have had a sleepless night – Luka had circles under her eyes, and a deep wrinkle completely unusual for this gorgeous young woman crossed her forehead. The girl looked relieved for a moment when she found out Miku was still at home, but her gaze turned insecure, especially when she noticed her friend was not her usual self. She said worriedly:
- Hey.. Are you okay? Did anything happen?
"Yes", screamed Miku mutely. "Something awful happened. And I'm not OK, I'm not OK with that at all!.."
But she couldn't start their talk like that. She had neither the right, nor the strength to do that, after all, no matter how strong was Miku's wish to cross the line between friendship and love.
That's why Miku tried to calm down and replied: - Nothing.. I just had a strong headache yesterday.
Luka didn't seem convinced. Most of all she wished to know Miku's problem and to help her somehow, not having a clue the only reason of the younger girl's stressed state was herself; but she agreed silently with Miku's decision not to discuss it - at least for now. She lingered for a moment and finally said:
- Sorry for disturbing you so early in the morning.. But I need to talk to you.
"Could it be she caught me looking yesterday?.." This thought struck Miku, and she suddenly felt another throb of pain in her heart not knowing how to act now, when both of them saw each other in such impossible situation. "Anyway, the solution can be found only together then.." That's why the younger girl just nodded simply, and they both entered Miku's room.
Miku sat back on her bed leaving the woman stand nearby. They both were unable to look each other in the eyes.
- Miku.. I slept with Kaito.
Miku didn't know how to react to this strained voice that once again made her remember the scene she watched with her own eyes the day before. Every single word from this short phrase stung her.
- Is that so.. – She finally uttered.
The silence wrapped them. - That.. that was a big mistake.- Luka's voice broke.
- ..Why?
- That's because I.. feel nothing for this guy. And now when it's too late, I realize I should have done that only with the person I truly love.
- Ha!.. Couldn't you figure it out beforehand? – Miku's voice couldn't hide all the bitterness and deep sadness she felt. She didn't even try to hide her feelings reacting subconsciously.
- ..Miku, I..
- What, Luka? – It felt strange and hard to have such a tough dialog full of abrupt phrases with her dearest person, but Miku was not being adequate. Not now. Not with her, after everything she had seen the day before.
- I did that.. Trying to forget my certain someone.
- …
The pink-haired girl's voice reduced to whisper: - ..And it's you.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Miku finally looked up at the woman in front of her not being able to take these words in so fast. Luka had no other choice than to continue in a low voice, clenching her fists in great nervousness:
- We've known each other for a year already, right? And.. most of this time I felt something towards you. That was beyond my control. I've been always thinking about you, watching you.. And one day I realized.. I desperately wished.. to be with you.
Miku kept staring at Luka in disbelief, her heart pounding in her ears.
Luka went on: - I understand that it's not normal.. But all I could do was thinking about you more and more. Listening to your voice, admiring your temper, being enchanted with your gorgeous features, loving the way you are.. Loving you.
I couldn't confess to you knowing that this would only make your life much harder and.. if you despised me for having such abnormal feelings, I definitely wouldn't know how to live on. And then.. I started fearing to lose you. I couldn't imagine some random guy taking you away – that thought hit my mind so strong that I almost went insane.
Luka turned away in despair. – I went to the psychologist and he told me it might be because of the hormones, and suggested trying to set my sexual life with a man and to judge after that.
There was no way I believed that what I felt for you was just a mere imbalance of hormones – God knows it's not true at all! But.. the only reason I decided I should try it was that I hoped it could prevent me from damaging your life and hurting you in the end. I absolutely couldn't even think about stopping to love you and feeling this way for anyone else, but I could try to do something on physical level at least. Kaito seemed to be the most adequate male among everyone else I knew, that's how I came to him, asking him to.. To have sex with me. He was surprised of course but didn't want to miss such a chance. And yesterday.. We did it. But all I could think of during the process was that it wasn't you there with me. I was feeling no joy, no physical pain, no thrill, no excitement, nothing at all. I wished for nothing else in the world than to be with you, to feel you.. And with every moment more and more emptiness got into my soul. I felt like my heart died. I couldn't sleep at all tonight, thinking how terribly wrong I was.. How wrong something is with me. And it hurts so much now! I.. Sorry I came to you with all these dirty things, but I can't hold it in anymore. I needed to confess my feelings to you so much, I just couldn't stop myself from telling you the truth and.. M..Miku?
The teal-haired girl's crystal blue eyes were wide open and full of tears that ran down her cheeks. Miku was looking bitterly straight at Luka's face with her lips trembling. Luka felt pain from the fact she made her beloved cry, and the mixture of terrible guilt and desolation could be clearly seen on her face. For the moment Luka's heart sank. The emotional pain from what she did the day before was nothing in comparison with how mortified she felt thinking that Miku hated her now.
She opened her mouth wishing to say something, but didn't make it in time – the younger girl hopped from the bed abruptly and approached the pink-haired beauty, tears still falling from her eyes. Miku left Luka no time for reflections, clenching her arms so tight that it ached and shaking it feverishly.
- How could you.. How could you ever think I'd rejected you? When all I can think of is your face.. When you visit me in every dream.. You are the only one for me, Luka! The most precious person forever and ever! I can't bear it anymore! I love you.. I love you so much! You idiot, do you even understand how painful it is to know you doubt me? I could never leave you because of that.. Even if I wasn't – wasn't so deeply in love with you as I am now, I'd never scorn you - because we are friends!..
And with those words Miku suddenly hugged her burying her face in Luka's chest, still shaking with sobs.
Luka was absolutely stunned. She stood still for several moments with her mouth opened in shock, breathing unevenly and trying to cope with the flood of various emotions she experienced last minute. After that she managed to pull herself together and lifted her arms timidly, embracing the fragile body with such care and awe as if Miku was made of porcelain. She couldn't find the words to say right now, so she just nuzzled Miku's head, closing her eyes tight feeling she was on the verge of tears, too.
Several minutes passed in silence. Luka kept caressing Miku's back gently, till her sobs almost stopped.
After that the teal-haired girl stepped back a bit looking down at the floor. She whispered: - I.. did something awful right now, didn't I?..
- What are you talking about?
- Even though you've been having such tough time, in the end you were strong enough to confess your feelings to me – you're gorgeous.. And I.. At the moment you needed my support the most I gave you hysterical accusations instead - though it was me for whom you've cared all this time.. I'm the worst!
- Hush.. – Luka touched Miku's hand gently, looking at her with kind eyes. – You're not the one to blame. That was entirely my mistake that made you so upset..
The younger girl suddenly raised her head and gave Luka the firm yet loving look.
- Don't you dare to take all the responsibility. We are both at fault here – if I hadn't been such a coward, I'd have confessed to you long before you came to that bastard.. So please, don't be harsh on yourself anymore! There's no point in looking back. Because there's one thing that is most important for us – this whole situation made you come to me in the end. And that's all that matters..
Luka's eyes brightened and she squeezed Miku's hands hopefully. – So.. you think we have a future together? I mean.. Are you okay knowing I want to be with you in a se..sexual way?.. – She asked bashfully.
Miku smiled for the first time since she left the studio, leaning on Luka's torso feebly. – Of course I'm ok with that, you dummy.. And not just ok - I-I am absolutely the same. I'm attracted both to your soul and body, and all I want is to belong to you.. In all possible ways. Loving someone means you need them wholly, so it's more than normal we are feeling like that!
Luka's face flushed and the incredibly happy expression appeared on it, not typical for a usually collected girl. She pulled her beloved closer impulsively, whispering: - Thank you.. Thank you so much.
Their gazes met, cleared from the previous regrets now. The girls watched each other for a while lovingly being enchanted with the bliss they saw in each other's eyes. None of them was able to resist the attraction anymore. The proximity they shared kind of released something inside them, their fingers entwined. Both of young women leant forward simultaneously, and their lips found each other's. They were kissing slowly yet devouringly, being entirely captivated by the new sensations.
After they parted, Luka stretched her hand carefully to remove the traces of tears from Miku's face.
- Miku.. From now on let's trust each other with everything.. Anything.
- Yeah.. – The girl breathed out. – That's what I wish for, too.
Suddenly the thought came to her that Luka could still ask the reason she'd been sad before. Would it be right to tell her Miku had seen her with Kaito? Luka would be terribly embarrassed for sure.. Miku got worried for a moment, afraid to ruin everything they'd just reached. But her face turned softer next minute. They promised to confide everything to each other just now. That's why, although it would be absolutely needless to raise this topic now, she'd answer Luka honestly if the latter asked. And she would support her beloved if that upset her. Mika felt now – they would be able to overcome everything together and make each other forget all the previous grieves. She desperately wished for such closeness with Luka when there wouldn't be any things to hide – so the teal-haired girl made a decision to be honest with her beloved if such question ever emerged. With this thought she relaxed and made a contented sound, embracing Luka's neck.
- Such emotions on your face sort of make me curious of what you're thinking, darling. – Luka whispered softly, stroking her hair. The changes in Miku's mood didn't escape from her.
- I'm thinking that I love you so much.. And I will do anything to make you happy.
Luka laughed contentedly. - You already did it, Miku! Right now..
She looked at her dearest person with deep affection. The adorable teal-haired beauty in front of her made her forget anything in the world. Luka reached out to her unconsciously, and Miku willingly returned the embrace. Their lips met once again, and their kiss was a tender and long-lasted one. None of them wished to separate feeling as if they were one now and nothing could ever change it.
After that they parted, panting, and looked at each other overwhelmed with emotions.
- Luka..
- Yes, dear?
- We are together finally..
- Yeah. This is so awesome I still can't believe it.. - The pink-haired girl touched Miku's shoulder softly, wishing to share the last thought that bothered her for now. – Say, Miku.. Aren't you afraid of what awaits us from now on?..
The younger girl blushed a bit. – Well, maybe I am.. But only a little. Because you are the most important person to me. I understand that we might have tough times, too, but I'm prepared for that. I will sacrifice anything for the future where we are together. I need you so much I feel I'd die without you.
- Miku.. – The woman was deeply touched with those words. She squeezed the other Vocaloid's soft hand. - Many people will disapprove of our relations.. But knowing you feel exactly the same makes me feel easier. We'll overcome it - definitely.
The pink-haired girl brought her lips to Miku's ear, whispering gently in a barely audible voice:
- Because love is all that matters.
And a happy smile her girlfriend sent her was the best reward for those words.
The end.