A/N: Oh dear! They're not in Hogwarts anymore! Written for fun, and to amuse my friends. Read, Review, and Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Yes, I own Sirius Black, and the Wicked Witch of the West, and House-Elf Land. Think it through, people.
There had been nothing to warn that it would be one of the most unusual days in her life. It had started innocently enough, finishing homework the night before and going to bed as usual. The only slightly unusual thing was that there had been a thunderstorm that night. But when Hermione Granger woke up, two things were certain. This was not a normal day, and she was definitely not in Hogwarts anymore.
Question was, where was she? It wasn't like any place she had ever seen; there were tiny blue cottages everywhere, and this place looked like a farming community. Getting up from her four-poster bed, which was here for some reason, Hermione looked around. The first thing she noticed was a large black dog. A large black dog that looked very familiar…
"Hello Sirius," she said, happy to see a familiar face, the fact that Sirius Black was supposed to be dead aside.
"Hello," he said, managing the canine equivalent of a smile. "I suppose you're wondering why you're here, Hermione?"
"Yes," she said gratefully, all past doubts about Sirius pushed aside. If he was here and willing to help her, that was just fine with her.
"All right, this is what I know. Have you ever read the Muggle book Wizard of Oz?" When Hermione nodded yes, he went on. "Apparently the deities have a sense of humor, because you have to act the character Dorothy and get to the Sapphire City. Along the way you're going to meet up with three of your classmates, who will be your companions. If you succeed, you win against Voldemort. If not, he wins. I can only talk right now to let you know all this. As soon as I tell you all I know, I'm just your equivalent of Toto. A dog along to help. I'll only be able to speak again if there's something I need to explain."
"All right then, I still have a few questions," Hermione said. "First off, you're dead! How come you're back here now?"
"I had to come back to act Toto," Sirius replied. "And just for the record, I can't transform back to human; I'm stuck as a dog."
"OK then," sighed Hermione. "Which three classmates are coming along with me?"
"I don't know," Sirius replied honestly. "I was never told. I do know this though; all the regular characters are replaced with people you know, although the large groups of people, like the Winkies, the Munchkins, and the Winged Monkeys aren't going to remember who they were. You have to avoid enemies and find friends to get through this, and that is all I know."
"Are you sure you don't know which classmates I'll meet up with?" Hermione asked desperately, but Sirius just looked at her. He was now nothing but a dog.
"Right," sighed Hermione exasperatedly. "That didn't go too well."
Looking down at herself for the first time, she realized she was wearing light blue robes instead of her bed gown. Reaching up to touch her hair, she was relieved to find no pigtails. She also noticed a large basket sitting on her bed. She eagerly opened it, hoping to find her wand or at least a book, but there was just another set of light blue robes and some food. Disappointed, she closed it again. She was just about to turn and leave when she noticed for the first time a witch under her four-poster. Although she knew this had to be the Wicked Witch of the East, Hermione didn't know who it would be from her world. It was about then that she noticed that she was now wearing a pair of elaborately woven, beautifully colored socks.
"Mistress saved us," said a small, squeaky voice. Looking up, she saw a house-elf dressed entirely in mismatched clothes in varying shades of blue. It had to be Dobby. There many other house-elves too, all dressed in the same way, all staring adoringly at Hermione.
"Dobby!" she said happily. But the house-elf only looked blankly at her.
"I is not knowing anyone named Dobby mistress," he said flatly. "But I is knowing you saved us from the Wicked Witch of the East, Dolores Umbridge!" he said happily. At this, all the house-elves gathered in the square began cheering. Hermione tried not to grin. Umbridge! So she was the Wicked Witch of the East! Remembering what Sirius had said about some people not remembering who they were, she decided not to press Dobby. But in the meantime, she might as well enjoy this feast in her honor that Dobby kept happily talking about. He appeared to be in charge of the House-elf/Munchkins. And so she set off to the town hall anticipating a good meal, Sirius following eagerly along behind her.
About three hours, plenty of food, a meeting with Glinda the Good Witch, a.k.a., a rather bemused Professor McGonagall, and lots of speeches later, Hermione finally set off down the silver brick road, having been counseled by the House-elf/Munchkins to follow it to Sapphire City.
As she walked along the silver paved path, the scenery alongside her changed steadily from town to farmland. Soon wheat fields surrounded her.
As Hermione walked along a particularly bountiful wheat field, Sirius in tow, she noticed a scared-looking scarecrow on a pole, surrounded by crows. Even though she was expecting it, it still surprised her when she saw the scarecrow looked up and talked to her.
"Hermione!" the scarecrow screamed, waving its arms. As she vaulted the fence and looked closer, she saw that the scarecrow was Neville.
"Hermione!" said Neville again, rather frantically. "Help me! I woke up stuck to this pole and I've got no clue where I am and-and I think I'm a scarecrow," he finished, slightly abashed. Hermione tried not to laugh.
"Don't worry Neville," she said, carefully lifting him off the stake and setting him on his feet. Once she was sure he wouldn't fall, she told him everything Sirius had told her, including the fact that he was the Scarecrow, she was Dorothy, and Sirius was Toto. "Oh, and McGonagall's here as the Good Witch of the North," she said, finishing up her tale.
"OK," said Neville tentatively, still looking a little nervous. "So now we have to follow the silver road and find two of our friends?" Hermione nodded.
"Let's go. The sooner we get this over with the sooner we'll be back at Hogwarts."
Neville agreed, so the two set off down the silver road, "Toto" following along.
Four hours' journey had brought them out of farmland and into a dark forest that bore more than a passing resemblance to Hogwart's Forbidden Forest.
Looking up at the dark and skeletal trees, Neville shivered through the sackcloth and straw that currently made his body. Hermione kept glancing around nervously. Even Sirius looked a little uneasy.
Suddenly the silver paved road came up to a clearing. Standing in the middle of the clearing was what looked like a suit of armor. But Hermione recognized it as…
"Harry!" she yelled, jumping the fence along the path and running up to her friend. He looked at her, and managed a stiff smile, but she could see he was rusted through, and could hardly move at all.
Looking around frantically, she finally found what she was searching for. The oilcan, sitting under a tree.
Seizing it, she rushed over to Harry and started oiling his joints. He was finally able to move.
"Thanks Hermione," he said gratefully, rubbing his metallic jaw. "Hi Neville. Um, would both of you know what we're doing here, and why I'm metal, and Neville is a scarecrow? And is that Sirius?" he asked suspiciously.
Hermione again explained everything she knew, and Harry the Tin Woodman listened with a slightly open mouth, axe hanging loosely in his hand at his side.
"Wow," he said when she had finished. "So that is Sirius, and he can't talk unless he has something to tell us, we're stuck in a Muggle book, and we have to find one other person and get to Sapphire City, fighting a Wicked Witch along the way?" Hermione nodded glumly, as did the huge black dog. "And I'm a heartless tin man?"
"And I'm a brainless scarecrow," said Neville sadly.
"This the weirdest thing we've ever done, the time-turner thing and the Department of Mysteries fiasco included," said Harry fervently. "Well, if we do have to travel through a strange land and fight off diabolical evils and eventually get home we'd better get going!"
With that, he hopped the wooden fence and set off down the path, Sirius right behind him.
Travel went fairly quick, apart from a few mild drizzles from the overhanging clouds. Whenever it started to rain, Harry would rust, and Hermione had to oil him, having thoughtfully brought the oilcan along with her. The damp was also a problem to Neville, who would start to mildew if left in the wet too long.
Over the course of two hours though, they had gotten through the better part of the forest and were joking and laughing as the trees started to thin. Harry grinned and tapped Hermione on the shoulder when she wasn't looking. "Chimeras," he said when she turned around.
"And dragons," added Neville, smiling.
"And werewolves, oh my!" Hermione laughed, swinging her basket. Sirius barked with laughter, and soon all four travelers were chuckling and teasing each other about dangerous magical creatures. Then they heard a sharp crack, like someone breaking a twig.
The atmosphere immediately went from relaxed to tense and frightened. Even though what they had so far encountered was friendly in this land, they knew evil did exist here, and none were too keen to meet up with it too soon.
The snapping sound came again, closer this time. Then again, closer still. By now all four were huddled together, looking frantically around, trying to spot the source of the noise.
Then, suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, an enormous furry shape burst out of the trees. It stood on the path roaring and swatting at tiny feathery things that were zooming around its head.
"Get-away-from-me-Pigwidgeon!" the creature roared angrily.
"But we are not pigs!" chirped the little creatures. "We are Fooies!" 1.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" screamed what the friends now recognized as a lion.
The friends were scared. They didn't know if the lion was friendly or if it would try to kill them. Then, startling everyone, Hermione started laughing.
"RON!" she called, running up to the huge cat. "Ron, it's us! Me and Harry and Neville!"
The giant cat turned, and they saw that it had unusually reddish fur. It looked relieved.
"Hermione!" he called. "These things are driving me nuts!"
Hermione laughed and said something to the little fluttering creatures. They immediately stopped twittering and flew away.
The lion sighed and turned to them, and Harry saw that it was indeed Ron as a lion.
"Thanks," he said, shaking his mane. "Those things were driving me mad. Would any of you happen to know why I'm a lion?"
So of course Hermione, with help from Neville and Harry, had to explain that they were stuck in a Muggle book as characters and had to go the Sapphire City, along with Sirius stuck as a dog.
By the time they had finished, Ron's mouth was hanging open. He gulped, trying to find words, but then finally spoke.
"So-so I'm stuck as an Animal?" he asked, voice shaking with shock. Neville nodded, and a few more bits of straw floated down from his ragged collar.
"Join the club," said Sirius grumpily. It was a second before he realized everyone was staring at him. "What?"
"You're talking!" said Harry indignantly. 'How come you can?"
"Because I have something to tell you," said Sirius. "The Wizard of Oz and the Witch of the West are now in Oz. They weren't here before, which is why you didn't have any trouble in Munchkin/House-elf land, but they're here now, and the witch is going to be giving you all the trouble she can."
"Can you tell us who they are?" Neville squeaked, but Sirius just shook his head. He couldn't speak anymore.
"Why does that always happen right when we need him?" Hermione grumbled.
Throughout the day, the travelers made good progress. Ron had a tendency to start stalking small animals, and Harry kept rusting, and Neville had to have mildew cleaned off of him on several occasions, but apart from that, they made good time. Things had been going almost normally when they came to a river. On the other side they could see a field of bright red flowers stretching into the distance, and then, at the edge of the horizon, a hint of blue.
Shading her eyes, Hermione looked across the river. It was extremely wide, deep and fast flowing, with no bridge in sight. How they were going to cross would be a problem…
Sirius had been whimpering and nudging Harry for the last five minutes, but no one could figure out why. Eventually, tired of the kids guessing and failing to figure out what he was up to, he started scratching something out in a clear patch of dirt by the river.
Harry squinted. If he didn't look too closely, the marks looked like writing. Sirius was trying to write to them! Smiling to himself, he read the message aloud: I can swim it. He glanced at his godfather to see if he had gotten it right, and was rewarded with a very smug looking black dog nodding.
"OK, so you can swim across, and Ron and I should be able to, with a little help, and Neville should be light enough to carry, but what about Harry?" Hermione asked, looking at the huge dog. Despite being canine, he managed to shrug.
"Maybe Sirius and I can try carrying him," suggested Ron. Because no one could come up with a better idea, it was agreed.
Hermione edged nervously down the bank. She wasn't very good at swimming, and especially not in robes, but this was the only way to get across. Thank heavens that Sirius was along to make sure she didn't drown or get swept away!
She waded into the water, and gasped as the icy liquid reached her waist. It was colder than she had thought. Still, she waded in resolutely, and Sirius jumped in after her, unmindful of the cold. Ron came last, with Neville astride his back, clutching his mane as best as a scarecrow could. Harry stood alone on the bank.
The journey across was nerve-racking and terrible. Several times Hermione lost her stroke and was nearly swept away, but every time Sirius managed to grab her again. Ron swam easily across, but once Neville almost fell off his back. Finally, all four made it the opposite bank though, and Sirius and Ron prepared to go back for Harry.
Now that Hermione and Neville didn't burden them down, the lion and the dog made good time. Very soon they were climbing back onto the shore to pick up Harry. But then there was the problem of getting him across. As soon as he hit the water he'd rust, and wouldn't be able to hold on anymore, and as it would take both Ron and Sirius to carry him, one couldn't always make sure he stayed on. They debated for a while, but as they could come to no conclusion about how to do it, they decided to just try and carry him between the two of them.
Harry carefully mounted the lion and the dog, lying across their backs. He gripped Ron's mane tightly, and tried to steady himself across Sirius. When they decided he was as secure as he was going to be, they carefully slipped into the river once more.
Even though they tried to swim evenly and carefully, it was horrendous from the start. Harry made an attempt to keep himself dry, but was quickly forced to give it up as first his legs, then his waist rusted over. He was heavy, and Ron and Sirius had to work to keep swimming. By now, they were halfway over.
When they had reached the three-quarters point, Harry's chest was halfway rusted, and Sirius and Ron were obviously exhausted. Nonetheless, they tried to keep going.
They were only ten feet from shore when disaster struck. Harry's hands rusted over, loosening his grip on Ron's mane, and he was tossed off their backs by the river's wild current. Sirius and Ron both dove for him, and managed to grab him, but they couldn't bring him to shore. It was all they could do to hold him in place.
When she saw what was happening, Hermione left off trying to dry Neville. Without really registering what she was doing, she waded into the water and took hold of Harry's stiff metal body. With their combined strength, Hermione, Sirius, and Ron managed to drag Harry to shore.
They lay there, gasping, soaking wet, and, (in Harry's case,) rusted over for a few minutes, until they caught their breath. Then they dragged Harry up the slope and set about oiling him. By that time though, night was falling.
Hermione looked up from where she had been oiling one of Harry's elbows. She hadn't really noticed how much time had passed. They would have to find somewhere to make camp, and soon; it was getting colder. Already the temperature had dropped a few degrees.
Ron seemed to be thinking along the same lines as her. "There's a patch of trees over there. What do you guys say we get a fire going and get some food?" This suggestion was met with plenty of enthusiasm, so the weary travelers hiked over to the small copse to set up camp.
There was plenty of dry wood lying around, and after several failed attempts and singed eyebrows, Hermione managed to get a small flame going. She carefully fed more wood onto the pile, and tried to avoid smothering her handiwork. Finally, when the fire was going well enough to be in no immediate danger of dying, they turned their minds to food. Harry and Neville, as the scarecrow and the tin man, couldn't eat, but Ron, Hermione, and Sirius were starving. Thankfully, there was some fruit on the trees around them. Hermione feasted off that while she left the bread and meat in her basket to Ron and Sirius.
Finally full, the five companions laid down around the fire to go to sleep. It was early in the evening, but all five were exhausted. Within minutes of lying down, they were asleep.
Hermione woke up to find that the sun had long since risen. Everyone else was still asleep in their respective places: Ron curled up close to the fire, Harry stretched out stiffly, Sirius off to the side, and Neville a cautious distance from the dying embers. For the moment, she was alone.
Within a minute or two though, her companions had woken up. After a hasty breakfast, they got back on the silver brick road.
Travel was relatively easy. There were no nasty interruptions, and the road was clear and straight. The land surrounding it was a huge, green plain dotted with bright red flowers, and the hint of blue that they had seen from the opposite end of the river grew slowly bigger until you could see that it was the Sapphire City.
Things weren't without complications though. Around noon, Ron, Hermione, and Sirius all started feeling sleepy. After a few more minutes it had grown so bad that Hermione could hardly keep her eyes open, Sirius was stumbling along, and Ron had given up and gone to sleep in the middle of the path.
Seeing her friend had given, up, Hermione seemed to lose all will to keep walking. She collapsed down onto the silver bricks. Her last coherent thought was, Didn't this happen in the book?
As they watched their friends fall asleep, powerless to help them, Harry and Neville panicked slightly. What were they supposed to do now? Moreover, what was causing them to fall asleep in the first place? They finally figured out that it was the flowers, the poppies that made their friends so drowsy, but what was a tin man and a scarecrow supposed to do to help them?
As they stood there, uncertain about what to do, large flakes of snow suddenly fell from the sky, slowly at first, but then faster. Soon tin man, scarecrow, dog, lion, and girl alike were all engulfed in a blizzard. As Neville's painted eyes strained to keep sight of his friends though, he caught a glimpse of a peaceful, green meadow a little ways away. The snow was only falling around them! What was making that happen?
His thoughts were brought back to earth though as he heard Hermione wake up. She stared tremblingly at the snow that engulfed only them, and turned to Neville. "Wha-what's going on?" she asked. Neville sighed. "I don't know," he said. "We think the poppy flowers made you fall asleep, and the snow is waking you up, so maybe one of our allies sent it, but I don't know for sure." Hermione nodded, and the two stood in silence until the blizzard abated.
As the snow slowly melted, Hermione looked around her. Neville was slightly damp, but Sirius and Ron were both up. The only real problem was Harry. The snow had rusted him over, and he couldn't move at all.
Hermione sighed, and got out the oilcan yet again. This was getting to be far too common an occurrence.
After Harry was safely oiled, they set off again. This time, they could see the Sapphire City clearly. After about three more hours of walking, they reached the gateway.
Hermione's mouth dropped open as she gazed up at the gates. They were huge, and seemed to be made out of unbelievably massive chunks of deep blue glass backed with some sort of metal. The light reflecting off of them was dazzling; it was like trying to look at the sun. Even Neville, with his painted, weak-sighted eyes, had to look away.
As everyone else stared at the gates, Ron alone registered how stupid this exercise was. They had finally reached their destination, so they might as well go in instead of sitting here staring all day. With that thought in mind, he rapped firmly on the door.
At once, the huge slabs of sapphire colored glass pivoted and opened soundlessly. Shaken out of their reverie, the travelers tiptoed inside, feeling for some reason as if they weren't supposed to be there. Hermione was the first to shake this feeling off. Striding boldly out into the corridor, she called, "Hello?" The only answer she got was her own voice, echoing back at her, "Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?" Eventually, when even the echoes had faded, Hermione shrugged. "I guess no one's here," she said, turning to face her friends.
As they crept through the halls, they noticed a funny noise, like wings being rustled and a sharp beak clacking. They followed the noise to a huge blue room with a curtain across the back to find…Buckbeak. Not a normal Buckbeak though. This hippogriff was a bright lime green, with pink talons and beak and blue wingtips. A hippogriff of a different color.
Harry felt his tin jaw drop at the sight of the multicolored hippogriff. Beside him, Sirius gave a happy bark.
Hermione stared at Buckbeak. Whatever she had expected, it was not this. Even as she watched though, the hippogriff changed color. His wingtips became yellow, his talons turned gold, and Buckbeak himself became a bright red. Neville smiled. Gryffindor colors.
For a long moment, no one spoke. Finally Ron broke the silence. "Wow," he breathed, staring at the Technicolor hippogriff.
It was at that moment though that the huge deep blue curtain in front of them parted dramatically to reveal a huge blue head floating in midair. "SILENCE!" the head bellowed. "I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ! STATE YOUR BUSINESS!"
Despite their courage, none of the group dared reply to the terrifying figure of the wizard. The silence was only broken by Sirius growling, his fur on end. Eventually, Harry spoke.
"Please sir, we were wondering…"
"I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHO YOU ARE!" the head roared. "I WILL GRANT YOUR REQUESTS, BUT FIRST YOU MUST BRING ME PROOF THAT THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD! WHEN THAT IS DONE, I WILL GRANT YOU AN AUDIENCE AND I WILL DO WHAT YOU WISH!" With that, the curtain closed again, leaving four very shell-shocked friends and one agitated dog behind.
"Are you sure you know where we're going?" Neville asked for the seventh time. Hermione sighed in exasperation.
"Yes, I know where I'm going!" she snapped back, trying to pry herself out of a particularly thick patch of brambles that had ensnared her robes. The truth was, she had no clue where to find the Wicked Witch of the West, but she wasn't about to let them know that. Behind her, Sirius rolled his eyes.
After another hour of toiling through thorns in the thick of a gloomy, overgrown forest, Sirius decided he had had enough. Pushing past the four kids, he led the way back onto an easier path that led in a westerly direction. Since he seemed to know where he was going, the scarecrow, tin man, lion, and girl decided to follow him.
After yet another half hour though, the outlook had grown quite less cheerful. There was no doubt that they were on the right path, for the thorns were getting denser, the sky darker, and the scenery more sinister, but all five were beginning to dread what would happen when they actually found the witch's castle.
As they fought their way out of yet another patch of thorns intent on scratching any exposed skin, Harry noticed something odd. "What's that thing?" he asked, indicating a large, winged figure sitting on top of a lopsided signpost.
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. Does it really matter right now?"
"I guess not, but it's still interesting," Harry said, wandering over to take a closer look. At that moment though, the winged monkey atop the sign sprang into action. Screeching raucously, it flew off into the sky. The five travelers just had time to wonder what that thing was when an entire legion of winged monkeys came flapping out of the sky to seize Hermione and Sirius and keep the three boys from getting close enough to help their friends.
The monkeys carrying the dog and the girl took off, and the rest of the strange creatures turned their attentions to destroying the boys as best they could. Harry they battered and tossed off into the weeds. With Neville they tore the straw stuffing from his clothes and flung it around. They really couldn't do much to Ron except drive him off into the surrounding woods. Their job done, the remainder of the monkeys took off to join their companions.
As soon as he was sure they were gone, Ron stepped out of the thick trees and set to work reassembling his friends. Neville was easy enough; he just had to re-stuff the clothes that made up his body. Harry was harder though. He was rusted over from the dew in the grass, and all the joints were dented and bent out of shape. They were able to find the oilcan from where Hermione had dropped it, but the dents another problem. Ron eventually just had to use his immense strength as a lion to bend the metal back into shape. It was a rough job, but at the end of it, Harry could at least move.
Everyone back into some semblance of order, they began to make their way to the castle of the Wicked Witch of the West.
Locked in a room in one of the towers, Hermione shivered. Sirius had been taken somewhere else, and she had been shoved in here and told that the Wicked Witch of the West would come to see her soon. Hermione hadn't read Wizard of Oz for a good eight or nine years, but she was nonetheless pretty sure that this was not a good thing.
Just as she had reached this conclusion, the locked door out of the tower suddenly opened. In swept a tall, green-faced woman with scraggly black hair, dressed in the stereotypical witch regalia of a pointed hat and black dress. Hermione gasped as she recognized the woman. It was Bellatrix Lestrange, Sirius's cousin! SHE was the Wicked Witch of the West?!
"Let's cut the formalities!" she snarled, glaring at the gaping Hermione. "I was told that I had to capture you and take your socks, so that's what I'm here to do. Hand them over!"
"No!" Hermione said, quivering. "You can't have them. Why do you want these smelly old socks anyway?"
"I don't know, but I was told that taking them would benefit the Dark Lord, so I must have them. If you won't give them to me, I'll drown your pet dog!" She tugged something forward, and Hermione saw that it was Sirius.
Hermione noted that she had somehow managed to get a muzzle over Sirius, and actually had him on a leash. He was looking pretty resentful. If looks could kill, his cousin would be writhing in agony. As she tugged what she thought was just a dog forward again, Hermione saw Sirius stumble. His paws had been bound, so he was having trouble walking. He certainly wouldn't be able to swim. Hermione cringed at the thought of what Harry would do to her if she let his godfather get killed. Whatever happened, she could not let Sirius die. Not knowing what else to do, she decided to play her trump.
"But don't you know who this is?" she asked the irate witch casually. She noticed Sirius trying desperately to tell her to knock it off, but she paid no attention. "This is your cousin, Sirius."
"Really?" said Bellatrix with a wide smile. "Well, then I'll just enjoy killing him all the more. I'll give you five minutes time to decide whether to give me the socks or let him be killed. Goodbye!" And with that, she dragged the disgruntled looking canine from the room and slammed the door.
As soon as she was sure that Bellatrix was gone, Hermione slumped dejectedly. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't let Sirius be killed, but she couldn't very well give up the socks either. Maybe, when Bellatrix came back in five minutes, she could dash past her and try to escape. Yes, that was what she'd do. It was the only thing she could do. At that moment though, a startlingly loud tap came from behind her…
As they surveyed the castle, Harry groaned. It sure didn't look like there was any way in. They didn't even know where Hermione was. Just as they were about to give up hope of ever locating her, they saw her standing at one of the windows.
Ron was all for climbing up to her, but Harry and Neville pointed out that only he could do that. They eventually decided that Ron would take Neville up on his back and Harry could climb up holding on to Ron's tail.
All three adjusted themselves accordingly, and they were soon ready to begin.
Even from the start the ascent was hard. Ron bounded effortlessly up the rocks, Neville clinging to his back, but Harry slipped a lot and would have fallen all the way back down the mountain if he hadn't been holding Ron's tail. Eventually though, the odd threesome got to a ledge conveniently located underneath Hermione's window.
Harry tapped at her windowsill. Hermione whipped around and gasped as she saw him. "Hurry!" she moaned, helping her friends into the room. "I don't know how much time we have left, Bellatrix Lestrange is the Wicked Witch of the West and she's got Sirius and she's threatening to kill him if I don't give her my socks!"
"That I will!" came the cruel cackle behind them, and the four friends turned quickly to see Bellatrix herself standing there, an apprehensive Padfoot beside her.
"Well, you've had five minutes little girl, what do you choose? If you're still not sure I could always kill one of your friends instead!" Her eyes wandered over the petrified friends and came to rest on Neville. She gave a shriek of delight.
"This is just too good!" she crowed. Neville did his best to glare back at her, but he was trembling and his straw fists were clenched.
"Yes, I think I'll take you, Longbottom," she said, grinning evilly. "Maybe some fire will sort you out, eh?" She started towards the scarecrow, grinning manically.
"You horrible woman!" Hermione cried, and grabbing a conveniently placed bucket of water, she emptied it over Bellatrix.
Apoplectic, Bellatrix spluttered, "What did you think that would do, melt me or something?" Hermione quivered. Yes, she had actually thought that it would melt her.
"Now I'm just going to kill all of you!" Bellatrix roared, advancing towards the hapless foursome. She was stopped in her tracks though at a sarcastic voice she knew all too well.
"Don't you have better things to do than terrorize helpless kids, dear cousin?" She whirled to find Sirius the dog gazing majestically at her. Well, as majestically as a dog could.
"Stay out of this, blood traitor!" she spat, rounding on him. Sirius merely smiled, and, rearing up on his back legs, he placed two huge paws on her shoulders. The two gazed at each other for a long moment before Bellatrix screamed and vanished in a puff of smoke.
As the smoke cleared, Hermione gazed at Sirius. "How did you do that?" she asked in an awestruck voice. He shrugged as well as a dog could.
"I don't know," he said. "I had an odd feeling anout it, so I decided to give it a try."
"Hang on," Ron blurted. "You only talk when you've got something to tell us. What is it this time? Something nasty?" he asked apprehensively.
Sirius barked with laughter and shook his head. "No," he said. Then, surprisingly, he turned to Hermione. "You remember my theory about whatever deities are doing this to us having a sense of humor?" he asked. When she nodded yes, he went on. "Well, this just proves it. The message I was to give was, plain and simple, 'you are in trouble.' Just that, nothing else."
Seeing the funny side of it, Harry laughed. His mirth was infectious, and soon the whole group was rocking with hilarity. This put everyone in a better mood, and they had soon found Bellatrix's broomstick to take back to the wizard as proof they had killed her and were making plans to leave.
Within a few hours, the group was marching back to the Sapphire City, broomstick triumphantly in hand. They strode right up to the door and, stopping only to greet the hippogriff of a different color, headed to the throne room.
This time, as the blue curtains parted, they weren't afraid.
"WELL!" the huge blue head roared. "HAVE YOU SUCEEDED IN YOUR QUEST?"
"We have!" Harry called triumphantly, holding up the broomstick. "We brought you proof that the Wicked Witch is dead! Now will you grant us our request and tell us how to get home and defeat Voldemort?"
For just a moment, the Wizard seemed to flinch at the mention of Voldemort's name. Just as quickly however, he recovered.
"I WILL THINK ABOUT IT!" he boomed.
"WHAT?!" all for friends howled, Sirius adding a whine at the end.
"I TOLD YOU, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT!" the head boomed. "BE GLAD THAT I AM EVEN GRANTING YOU AN AUDIENCE! NOW GO! I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW WITH MY DECISION!"
While the head had been speaking, Sirius had been sneaking around by the curtain. Now, he barked and jumped at it, knocking it aside to reveal…Fudge. Cornelius Fudge, the ex-Minister of Magic, was standing there, wearing his typical pinstripe cloak and bowler hat and clearly operating the giant floating head.
For a moment the four companions simply gaped, but then they burst into furious shouts. Fudge cowered. Sirius glared at him.
As the boys continued to yell, making threats, cursing, and generally being very upset, Hermione stepped forward. "You, you..." she said, but words failed her. Instead, she simply slapped Fudge and stalked back to the group. It was about a minute later, when they were winding down their furious tirade that a voice said from the shadows, "I did tell you that it wouldn't work, Cornelius." From the behind the curtain a very tall, familiar figure stepped forward. Recognizing him instantly, Harry shouted happily, "Dumbeldore!"
"Yes," the old man said, smiling. "I'm here too, just as Sirius is. I have been telling Cornelius Fudge that his little escapade would not fool you, but he would not listen."
All the while, Fudge had been glaring at Dumbeldore, his cheeks pink. Now though, he burst out indignantly, "I know how we can get home! I'm smarter than you give me credit for!"
All six others in the room stared at him. Finally, Sirius burst out, "Well, why didn't you tell us that before?"
Fudge stared at him. "Is, is that dog talking?" he asked, thoroughly spooked.
"Yes," said Dumbeldore, looking amused. "I think it is time you two were acquainted. Mr. Fudge, I am pleased to introduce you to Sirius Black."
For a long moment, the room was silent. Then Fudge burst out laughing. "Come now, you don't really expect me to believe that that dog is Black, do you?"
"Actually, I am," said Sirius, very coldly. Harry nodded, trying hard to keep from laughing. It was Hermione who dragged the conversation back on track.
"Anyhow, what were you saying about how you knew how to get home?"
"Well, there's a rather large hot air balloon here, I was wondering it we could get home in that, since I've tried Apparating and Portkeys, and there are no brooms anywhere." No one else had any better ideas, so they decided to give it a try.
Getting the blue silk balloon out of the closet where it was stored took most of the day. After finally dragging it into a courtyard large enough to hold it, night was falling, and everyone was tired. They decided to get a good night's sleep before assembling it and taking off.
Looking around the room Dumbeldore had led her to, Hermione had to smile. The entire chamber, from the bed to the carpet to the walls to the sink in the bathroom to the soap, was different shades of blue. Suddenly too tired to sit admiring it though, Hermione changed into a blue cotton dressing gown she found in one of the drawers and went to sleep.
Everyone got up early the next morning to work on the balloon. They managed to get a lot done, and by noon the silk bag was filling with hot air. Having done all they could, scarecrow, lion, girl, tin man, dog, hippogriff, and men decided to have lunch. By the time they were done, the balloon was straining at the ropes tethering it to the ground, and it was time to go. But then they ran into a problem…
"Buckbeak!" Harry called frantically, running through the corridors. "Buckbeak!" But the hippogriff was nowhere to be found.
Hermione and Ron were getting worried. Harry had been gone a good twenty minutes, and they couldn't wait much longer. The ropes were starting to fray. Glancing at each other, they made a split second decision. Hopping out of the balloon, they ran after Harry, Sirius and Neville right behind them. Fudge and Dumbeldore were the only ones left.
After a moment, Dumbeldore whispered, "I must go," and hopped out of the basket with surprising agility for a man of his age.
With less weight to hold it down, the balloon strained at the ropes all the more. A rope cracked and frayed and the balloon rose a few feet. Alone in the basket, Fudge clutched the wickerwork and prayed that his companions would get back soon.
Running through the halls, Harry finally located Buckbeak. The hippogriff was running around looking for everyone, and Harry reached a corridor at the same time the hippogriff did. The tin man and the hippogriff crashed into each other and fell to the floor. A moment later, Hermione and Ron skidded to halt just before falling over Harry. However, Neville and came and Sirius came running up and crashed into them. All four collapsed in a heap on top of hippogriff and tin man. This was how Dumbeldore found them, attempting to sort themselves out.
Suddenly realizing that the balloon wouldn't stay grounded long, Hermione gasped and scrambled back towards the courtyard, closely followed by her friends. They arrived just in time to see the balloon floating into the sky with its lone passenger. Their chance to get home was gone.
Standing the courtyard, looking longingly at the sky as their chance to home floated away, Hermione felt like crying. How were they supposed to defeat Voldemort now?
It was at that moment that a puff of pink smoke filled the court. It cleared to reveal a disgruntled looking Professor McGonagall standing there, wearing pink robes. She shook her head and stepped out of the ring the pink powder had left around her.
"Never see anything like it, in all my born days…" she muttered. Then she saw Dumbeldore. "Albus!" she cried, looking startled. "But…how?" she asked weakly.
"I'm not quite sure," he said, blue eyes twinkling. "However, I do believe that when this amusing adventure is over, Sirius and myself will be coming home with you."
Professor McGonagall started again, and whipped around to see Sirius, looking rather interested in the current going-on's. He gave her canine equivalent of a smile, and she turned to the four kids.
"Well, I really must admit that I have no clue what is going on, but I was told to inform you that your socks are a Horcrux and will help you get home. I really don't know what that was supposed to mean, but I've delivered my message, and…what on earth are you doing, Granger?"
At Professor McGonagall's words, Hermione had immediately removed her shoes and ripped off the brightly patterned and by now very smelly socks she wore and appeared to be concentrating on something. At McGonagall's question though, she sighed and opened her eyes.
"It was just an idea I had."
"You do know how those socks are going to help us get home, don't you?" Ron asked, a trifle nervously.
Hermione shook her head. "No," she admitted. "I don't."
"I would recommend," said Dumbeldore with a mysterious smile, "concentrating on your goal."
At his words, Hermione seemed to snap back in control. "OK, everyone," she said in her usual bossy voice, "make sure that everyone is connected."
Despite their misgivings, everyone followed her directions, Neville with his hands on Harry and Ron's shoulders, Harry holding Buckbeak's bridle, Sirius on Buckbeak's back, and Dumbeldore with one arm around McGonagall and one around Harry. Satisfied that everyone was following her instruction, Hermione placed one hand on Ron's furry back and in the other held the socks. She appeared to be concentrating very hard on something. Nothing happened though. Just when everyone was getting a little dubious, a sudden flash of bright light filled the room and suddenly they were falling, falling, falling…
Waking up, the first thing Hermione noticed was a major headache. The second was that she was home, in her dormitory, and wasn't wearing those ridiculous blue robes, thank heaven. Sitting up slowly, she saw Ginny gazing at her with concern. "Are you OK?" she asked anxiously. "Where were you for the past three days?" Hermione had to smile. "I'll tell you at breakfast," she said.
As she entered the common room, Hermione saw Harry, Ron, and Neville sitting close together and talking very fast. When they saw her, they broke off, grinning. Ginny gazed at them curiously.
"Look outside Hermione," Ron said, smiling happily. She did, and had to laugh at what she saw. A huge black dog was running around on the lawn, a phoenix soaring around his head, both clearly trying to attract her attention. Sirius and Dumbeldore! They had come back.
Heading down to breakfast, the foursome filled Ginny in about what had happened. As they did, her eyes grew wider and wider. When they had finished, she sighed. "I have to go apologize to Luna," she said.
"Why?" Harry asked curiously.
"She told me that that was what was happening to you, but I didn't believe her," Ginny admitted.
"No need to apologize," said a dreamy voice behind them, making them all jump. They turned quickly to find Luna, walking sedately a few feet behind them.
"How did you know?" Harry asked, flabbergasted.
"I know these things," she said dreamily, before gliding off to the Ravenclaw table. Hermione looked anxiously after her.
"You know, maybe I should reconsider the Crumple-Horned Snorkack thing…"
And thus it was that life at Hogwarts returned to normal. The socks were destroyed, Luna was right, Harry no longer rusted in the rain, and Hermione never had to wear ugly blue robes again. Life was perfect. Until, that is, Harry woke up a week later to find himself in a chocolate factory, but that's another story. What matters now is that this one has come to a close, and therefore this is…
The End
1. As mention in the Author's Note, this was written for one of my friends. She has a tiny yellow toy chicken that she named Fooie. The reference was included for her.