Hi there ya'll, just a quick one shot. I love this pairing but I was in the mood for something sad. Hope you enjoy! C:
It's here, it's finally here, the worst day of my life. The day in which it would all be over. The day I hoped would never happen, the day that should have never happened. The day I would finally lose her. The day I once thought would be the happiest of my life. The day she would say 'yes' to someone else; their lives united until one of them would die. The day my happiness would leave my life forever.
I, the perfect man for any woman and once, her man of choice. I, the patient and cautious man. I, the man that didn't see what he had laying on his hands as a child but grew to appreciate later in life, too late in life. I, the man that let her escape through my fingers. I, the man that would lose everything within the next hour.
I looked at the mirror and see my red eyes staring back at me, I had no sleep last night. How could I though? She will never be mine. How could I rest knowing I let her leave me? I wash my face trying to erase the last remains of my insomnia.
I exit the bathroom so I can lay on my bed and look at the roof, just like I did when I was nine. I sighed and swallowed a scream.
"What did I do?" I ask myself "oh, that's right…"
I was back in Hillwood after four years of absence. I had managed to avoid returning during the holidays, my family preferred to visit me at college. They always liked my city but they always found a reason not to move. I was about to meet the gang at the bar when I saw her.
We had renovated our friendship during high school. Four years filled with mischief (on her behalf) and moral support. We had shared so much: our first romantic relationship, well mine, my first experience with alcohol (which she hates by the way), and an endless list of other things.
I greeted her with glee, wishing those four years of absence didn't affect our friendship. She hugged me as soon as she was near me and for a moment, everything went back to normal. We separated and I felt an inkling of doubt coming to mind but decided to ignore it. She smiled and we went somewhere else; I completely forgot my meeting with the other guys. We talked about everything and nothing at all; time didn't seem to have any effect on our relationship.
"My dad died" I answered her "that's why I'm back"
"I…"
"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to tell somebody"
She offered her hand to me in comfort and I took it as if I were the thirstiest man on earth. Almost instantly I was distracted and I thanked her in my thoughts. The evening went fast and when I recovered my mind, I was already leaving her house after accompanying her home. I promised to see her again.
Days passed and I realized I was getting a job in Hillwood. I couldn't leave my mom and sister alone. The first day of work, we went for dinner at the same French restaurant she took me when she pretended to be my pen pal Cecile. She told me of a work offer she was getting in New York. She said she was glad we could meet since she was not sure she wanted to take the job. I was trying to be a good friend by telling her she should go, she sounded very passionate about the job.
Her smile wasn't what I was expecting since she looked more sad than happy but she soon changed it and I decided I didn't need to worry. We continued talking about her new job and I purposely avoided mentioning her leaving. The next day I went to the airport with her and finally managed to meet the guys at the bar. I greeted my best friend with our special handshake and said hi to is girlfriend, quite ironically, she was her best friend as well.
"You told her to leave?" my man's girlfriend was pissed.
"That's what she wanted" I was quite surprised; she was her friend, wasn't she supposed to be happy for her? Didn't she understand the opportunity? Should I have told her to stay?
My best friend shook his head and sighed the way he always did when we were kids and he was about to explain something that, to him, was pretty obvious. "I swear I'll hit you if you don't figure out what you did wrong"
"She wanted you to make her stay" his girlfriend said as soon as she saw I was confused.
"She didn't say that though"
"Men are all the same!" she yelled angrily "I thought you understood her"
I was about to reply but my friend shook his head and I decided to follow his advice.
"If she wanted to stay, she should've stayed" I said.
"You really don't understand?" my friend asked me.
"No"
"She's in love with you" his girlfriend said "she has been in love with you since she was three"
"That's impossible, we're just friends"
"I'm gonna punch you if you don't walk away"
I decided not to get her angrier and just leave them for now. I couldn't focus on anything else for the rest of the day, not work, not my family, nothing. The only thing holding my thoughts was her. If she didn't want to leave, she should've stayed! Do I love her the same way she does? My first thought denied any possibility of me reciprocating her feelings. I loved her yes, but only as a friend. I decided to ignore her best friend's claims. I would ask her for confirmation; if she didn't verify those claims, I had no reason to believe them.
The following days I became more conscious of the little game between us. Our conversations seemed more oriented towards that sort of relationship. I tried to concentrate on my work, but it was getting me nowhere. It didn't take too long before I caved and flat out asked her as directly as possible: 'I was told something about you a few weeks ago, it left me thinking and I need to know, did you want to stay because of me?'
Her reply came instantly: 'it was so obvious, didn't you realize?' I was speechless, when had she became so straightforward? I kept questioning her: 'why didn't you tell me?' This time her reply took longer but as soon as I felt my cellphone vibrating, I opened our conversation and read her answer: 'if I had told you, would you have wanted me to stay?'
I didn't reply. I was thinking thoroughly but I couldn't find an answer. The next few weeks passed as if nothing had transpired between us; only I was more aware of her antics during elementary school. Her unfriendly way of treating me, the she always found a motive and a way to bully me. I will always be grateful to her for letting me have her prize after she won that poetry contest during our sixth year. I always thought she had done it because she felt bad for the way she had treated me since we met. But, it seems she loved me even then, right?
The next time we saw each other, she was back in Hillwood because she was going to visit her mother, and it was about two years later. I picked her up at the airport and we chatted as if that conversation hadn't happened. When we reached her house I said goodbye and we agreed to meet for some drinks at the soda bar. I had really missed her.
The next day we were all smiles and laughs at the soda bar we used to hang out a lot when we were kids. We laughed till our lungs demanded for air and when I brought her back to her house, I was brave enough to pull her to me and kiss her. Maybe that was my first mistake, but I didn't care. She was struggling against me but she let it happen. I had no words to describe my foolishness when I was little.
"What are you doing football head?" she asked once we were apart.
"You didn't like it?" I smiled.
"That's not it" she was blushing really hard "I don't want you to think this was in the heat of the moment"
I was stone cold, I have to admit, that was the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. She was confused and she stepped back from me. She grabbed her neck and I could see she was trying to make an excuse for me to leave.
"I'm sorry, something came to my mind" I said "are you gonna stay in Hillwood?"
"Arnold, I…"
We both remained quiet, it was slowly but surely becoming quite uncomfortable for the both of us. We didn't know how to better the situation. I kept staring at her, enjoying her presence for a few more moments. She looked at me and smiled bitter sweetly.
"I can't believe this" she laughed "this is finally happening and I'm the obstacle?" she sighed. "Arnold, I have a job in New York, I love it, I'm fascinated by it, and I can't imagine any other job that will make me feel as happy as I am right now"
I couldn't say I understood her; I had a nice job here in Hillwood but it didn't make me completely happy. The one thing making me mostly happy were my friends and family, if I stayed here, I could see them more often. My job might not be perfect but there were perks by staying here.
"Arnold, don't you want to give it a try?"
"I don't think we can" I told her "I have no doubt you'll be faithful to me and believe me when I say that cheating on you would be the last think I could ever do to you" I said "but I don't want to be the reason you don't give yourself chance if you happen to meet someone you really like too"
"I don't need to meet someone else football head" she was almost crying.
"How often do you come here?" I asked her "You can't even come up with an answer because it's a miracle if you show your face around here, this is the first time in two years since you left" I took her hands in mine "You're very happy in New York, I can see that, I should've told you to stay the first time" I said "and I regret not telling you then but it is too late now"
"Very well Arnold, I won't insist" she said letting go of me "do remember you wanted it this way"
After that day we didn't talk like we used to. Our messages were few and rarely frequent. When she came, I didn't know until she was about to leave. I guess I had caused this situation. A short time later, I heard she had started a relationship with Brainy. For a moment I was mad, Brainy was also in Hillwood. Did she only wanted to have a boyfriend somewhere far from her? But I knew deep inside me, I was mad only because she was ready to trust someone and be trusted by someone.
Now, it was only ten minutes before she would marry Brainy. They had been together for almost five years and they didn't seem to be about to break it off. On the one hand, I felt happy for him; when they were little, he had loved her and when they had grown up, she had loved him as well. I wanted to hit myself but we were already at the church. People were sit and Phoebe was on her side of the altar. Gerald was eating his wife with his eyes. He looked so happy, something I could never feel again after this day.
Soon, everybody was sit and the Wedding March could be heard. I turned around exactly when she was right below the entrance's frame. Her white dress made went accordingly with her beauty, she was being escorted by her father. She looked so beautiful.
As she was making her way towards the altar I couldn't help but think about what could have been. We could have been happy together. We could have fought like crazy and made up till sunrise. We could have learned so much from each other. We could have traveled to so many places. We could have loved each other immensely, but we didn't. I was a coward, that kept us apart and now, she was going to be happy with another man.
I keep thinking about the way I could have made her the happiest woman. I thought my last thought of her when I see them kissing, this is the last one since I will be moving to San Lorenzo after the wedding. And that last thought breaks my heart completely, for I, Arnold Shortman could never be together with Helga Pataki. 'I have to let her go'