Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I wouldn't mind owning Draco Malfoy though. wink, wink
Enjoy!
A/N: My bro helped write this and kinda gave me the idea when we had a miscommunication during a discussion on a movie. coughUnderworldcough
coughWhy Selene always wears leathercough
異常あなたがここに着いた時驚くばかりソダ静かがありなさい幸せ
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At the Death Eater Super Secret Headquarters a.k.a. McDonalds Hq.
Voldemort: …Yes, and I'll have a Big Mac and a large Coke.
Worker: And would you like fries with that?
Voldemort: No, no. I'm good.
(Worker leaves)
Voldemort: On to subject #26. All Death Eaters are required to wear the new uniform.
(holds up black leather suit) These black leather outfits that I picked out by myself.
Random Death Eater #1: (raises his hand)
Voldemort: Yes, (mumbles incoherently trying to pass it off as a name)?
Random Death Eater #1: Why leather?
Voldemort: Avada Kedavra! That's why leather.
(Death Eater falls to the ground dead)
Voldemort: Any other questions?
(Snape raises his hand)
Voldemort: What is it Severus?
Snape: Can I wear mine now?
Voldemort: (points his wand at Snape, leaving him in one of the leather suits)
Malfoy: (to Snape) (Growls at him flirtatiously and winks)
Snape: (Shudders and moves away slowly toward Bellatrix)
Voldemort: And for my Giants :(holds up a miniscule piece of leather which resembles a thong)
And for Bellatrix:(holds up the giant's uniform again) Hey Sugar, stop by my place tonight. wink, wink
Fenrir: (laughs at Bellatrix's misfortune)
Bellatrix: (glares evilly and full of loathing toward Fenrir)
(Worker comes in and delivers Voldemort's food)
Voldemort: (frowns) I said Coke not Pepsi. CRUCIO!
(Worker falls to the ground writhing in pain)
Voldemort: Go back and fix it! Or I'll have Wormtail pleasure himself with you! Now go!
(Worker scrambles away to get a Coke with Wormtail trailing behind)
Voldemort: And all Dementors will be issued these special masks. (he removes a brown paper bag from his pants)
Dementors: (Shrieks in agony)
Voldemort: Unfortunately, we were unable to acquire enough uniforms for the werewolves, so you will have to make do with this spandex attire. (holds up a one piece suit similar to something that Richard Simmons might wear)
Bellatrix: (laughs mockingly at Fenrir at his misfortune)
Fenrir :( to Bellatrix in a strangely monotonic voice) I hate you.
(door bursts open to reveal Narcissa poking her head out, which attracted the stares of most of the room's occupants)
Narcissa: Draco! It's time for dinner! Also, Crabbe stopped by.
Draco: (with a tone of irritation in his voice) What the bloody hell does he want?
Narcissa: He asked me to tell you that he lost his goldfish, and that he needs you to come and help him find it again.
Draco: (exasperatedly) Yes, Mummy. I'll be there in a few.
Voldemort: (smiling cruelly) Yes, you'd best head off with your dear mummy; you wouldn't want to wander off and get lost.
Draco: (mumbles) I know someone who I wish would get lost…
Voldemort: "…And on to subject #27: techniques of torture, annoyance, and antagonization…"
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NO FLAMES! BECAUSE FLAMES SUCK CRAP! I have never given anyone a flame and I don't plan to because that just puts the author down! Yet there are still idiots that think flaming is okay!
However, constructive criticism is always welcome. )
Have a nice day!
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