Needs
By Jess
Author's Notes: I know that "Let the Seller Beware" ended at night. Well, today folks, it ended in the morning. :) I remembered that detail at the very end of writing this. Whoops!
Disclaimer: The characters in this fictional story do not belong to me and I do not receive anything for writing this.
Summary: Sometimes what we want cannot fulfill our needs.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: This takes place directly after the last scene in "Let The Seller Beware," but I'm not sure how much I'm going to talk about it. There is talk of TAIE, though.
Archive: Please don't.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
CHAPTER ONE: An Informal Rejection
I turned on my heel and left. I couldn't stand there obediently as he removed his glasses, lowered his head, and, as he eventually would because he always did, raise his head and give me a patronizing look. I sighed and focused on the linoleum as I walked toward the exit. Maybe he would not have patronized me, but I wasn't about to stand there and taken whatever he would have given me. I couldn't wait; I'd been waiting for years.
"Hey, Sara, how'd the case go?"
I hadn't noticed Nick Stokes on my walk until he reached out and touched my arm, stopping me. I looked up. He looked tired, on the brink of haggard; he was holding a file in his hands. I struggled for the words he had spoken. "It's over. Yours?"
He frowned and removed his hand from my jacket sleeve. "The perp's in custody. Both of them, actually." He leaned in closer and asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I nodded, swiftly meeting his eyes and then taking mine away in a blink. "The case just took a lot out of me."
"Well, I'm heading out right now. I was thinking about breakfast. Would you go with me?" I took a deep breath. I didn't want to go home and be alone, but I didn't want to converse. Nick tilted his head a little and pouted. "Please?"
I frowned at him and said, "Don't act like a five year old."
"Hey, if that's what it takes to get you to go to breakfast," he grinned. I hesitated more and he offered, "It's on me. I'll pay for your toast and... whatever else you eat for breakfast if you don't eat meat."
I smiled, then, and remembered how kind he was. A little human contact would be good, I decided. "Sure, Nicky."
He grinned and for a moment I wondered what it would have been like to see him in high school, smiling triumphantly as his football team won a Friday night game. He snapped me out of my reverie as he touched my arm once more and said, "I need to give this to Grissom and get my jacket out of my locker. I'll meet you outside?"
"Sure." He headed off, more quickly than he usually walked, and I turned to continue on my way. He was going to Grissom's office. I wondered if Grissom was still pondering my departing comment or if he had resumed his work. I paused and looked over my shoulder.
He certainly hadn't come after me.
Nick didn't take long and soon we were in his Tahoe, driving through Las Vegas. He stopped at a stoplight and put on his left blinker. "So how was the vineyard?"
"What?"
He grinned and looked both ways before accelerating across the intersection. "I was only a few yards away, Sara. I heard you tell Grissom where you were."
I smiled and looked out my window. "It was nice."
"Did Hank enjoy it too?"
My smiled disappeared at his side comment and my head slowly rotated to him. A small smile waltzed on his lips and he looked at me, just for a second, and looked back at the road. "Hey, Sar, it's no secret."
I laughed, the exhausted laugh that I use all to often. I nodded and said, "Yeah, that's the common consensus."
"Between?"
"You, Grissom, Philip Gerard, Marjorie Westscott... The world."
"You're not in the agreement?"
I didn't reply for another few minutes, until Nick pulled into the parking lot of Dell's Diner. I unhooked my seat belt and said, "I'm not dating him, Nick."
I met him at the rear of the Tahoe and he led the way to the door. We entered the diner and I breathed in the familiar smells. As a team, we frequented this diner often; the head waitress, Ann, knew our orders and the cook knew Warrick and Nick by name. We walked past the bar and Ann looked up from the cash register. "Good morning," she smiled. "It's just you two this morning?"
Nick grinned and replied, "We snuck out early."
She chuckled and asked, "The usual?"
"Please," he said. He looked at me and I nodded.
Ann said, "It'll be about ten minutes."
Nick led me down the aisle with his hand on the small of my back. We passed the other three customers, stragglers who had missed the before work rush at the diner and were now hastily consuming their coffee and scanning the paper. We sat at the next to last booth, Nick facing the way we had come and me facing the mounted television. Nick picked a pack of sugar out of the holder and massaged it between his fingers.
"So, you and Hank aren't dating?"
I diverted my eyes to the television, hoping for some interesting change of subject. "Did you know it's going to be eighty-one degrees today?"
"Sara."
I pursed my lips and looked down to him. "I, um, called it off after the Haviland mess."
Nick frowned. "Why? You seemed really happy."
"I was," I mumbled. "I think."
"So who were you at the vineyard with the other night?"
"Some girlfriends. I told them about Hank and we all went out."
"Nice friends," he approved.
"Yeah." I watched his fingers deftly work the sugar packet. I felt his eyes on me but I didn't trust myself to say anything more. What was there to say? I didn't want to admit that Grissom, by just being there, had been the main cause of me pushing Hank away. I traced an invisible pattern on the cool Formica tabletop and said, "You know, the worst part is that, even after exploring every possible screw-up and shitty thing that could have happened, I still couldn't see anything but good coming up between Hank and me."
Nick rested the packet on the table and asked, "Then why?" I didn't reply; I felt I didn't need to. I saw his head bob in my peripheral vision and I heard his hushed voice whisper the solitary answer. "Grissom."
A new waitress came up at that moment and asked us if we wanted coffee. Nick answered for both of us and she set two cups on the table. I kept my eyes down and I felt her quickly investigate my current state. She poured the coffee and a little sloshed over the edge of my cup. She didn't notice; she walked away.
Nick took three cream packets from the same holder he had grabbed the sugar. He pushed two of them to me and put a new sugar packet next to them. I methodically mixed my coffee. He poured his single cream and his abused sugar into his cup and stirred it all together. He took a sip and opened his mouth as soon as it left his mouth, allowing cool air to flow in. I didn't take a sip of mine; I slowly wiped at the forming stain on the side of the ceramic. Nick asked gently, but with a slight edge on his voice, "Did he say anything to you about Hank?"
"He told me that I deserved a personal life and I shouldn't change it because of what Gerard said."
"What did Gerard say?"
"He said that Hank moved the girl's bra so that the evidence would be more favorable for us."
Nick frowned. He hated Philip Gerard. "But you did change it."
"I know."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure."
"Because you thought Grissom really wanted you to?" I was silent, considering the possibility. I had left myself open for Grissom for almost two years. Had I really been giving him another chance? I hoped not and yet on some level I knew I had been doing exactly that.
Nick saw the recognition in my eyes and asked, "How did you know Grissom before you moved here?"
"He was a professor; I was his student," I replied easily. "He was visiting Harvard for a year. I had his class in the fall session."
"And in the spring session?" I looked at Nick and he nodded, knowing exactly what the spring had been like. "And then he went home to California and you went to work?"
"Yeah. And then two years later I joined him in California again."
"And Grissom came to Vegas."
"That's right."
"Things ended badly between you two?"
"Not badly enough as to where I would think I'd never heard from him again but badly enough to cause me to be immensely surprised when he called me in." I drank some of my coffee and waited to feel the liquid trail down my esophagus. "It was a surprise."
"It was a surprise for all of us," Nick commented.
The food arrived. We ate silently, burying the conversation for a few minutes. Nick ate his fried eggs and bacon and toast and I nibbled on my fruit and pancakes. Ann dropped by a few minutes into the consumption and left a pot of coffee on the table for us.
I could barely eat half of my food. Instead, I spent my time pushing it around and thinking. I felt naked, sitting at the booth with Nick staring at me. My emotions and feelings about Grissom and our shared past had never been laid bare before. Nick was kind enough to not make me explain every minute detail of our clandestine tryst. He understood, I think, on some level how my emotions were acting in my life at that moment. He knew that I had attempted to get back what had once been. He knew that I had been informally rejected and now I was striving to find a place to stand.
We finished our coffee in silence. Nick took out his wallet and laid down money. I took mine out to pay for the tip. He gave me a stern look but I just shrugged and placed it down anyway. He sighed and put his wallet away. We both stood and walked out of the diner, calling our goodbyes to Ann.
In the Tahoe, the silence bordered on overwhelming. He drove me back to the crime lab to get my car. In the parking lot, I turned in my seat and said, "Thanks, Nick."
He nodded and said, "Anytime, Sara. I'll see you tonight."
I smiled and descended from the Tahoe. He waited until I opened my car door before driving away.
Well that's the first chapter. I hope you liked it.
By Jess
Author's Notes: I know that "Let the Seller Beware" ended at night. Well, today folks, it ended in the morning. :) I remembered that detail at the very end of writing this. Whoops!
Disclaimer: The characters in this fictional story do not belong to me and I do not receive anything for writing this.
Summary: Sometimes what we want cannot fulfill our needs.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: This takes place directly after the last scene in "Let The Seller Beware," but I'm not sure how much I'm going to talk about it. There is talk of TAIE, though.
Archive: Please don't.
Feedback: Always appreciated.
CHAPTER ONE: An Informal Rejection
I turned on my heel and left. I couldn't stand there obediently as he removed his glasses, lowered his head, and, as he eventually would because he always did, raise his head and give me a patronizing look. I sighed and focused on the linoleum as I walked toward the exit. Maybe he would not have patronized me, but I wasn't about to stand there and taken whatever he would have given me. I couldn't wait; I'd been waiting for years.
"Hey, Sara, how'd the case go?"
I hadn't noticed Nick Stokes on my walk until he reached out and touched my arm, stopping me. I looked up. He looked tired, on the brink of haggard; he was holding a file in his hands. I struggled for the words he had spoken. "It's over. Yours?"
He frowned and removed his hand from my jacket sleeve. "The perp's in custody. Both of them, actually." He leaned in closer and asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I nodded, swiftly meeting his eyes and then taking mine away in a blink. "The case just took a lot out of me."
"Well, I'm heading out right now. I was thinking about breakfast. Would you go with me?" I took a deep breath. I didn't want to go home and be alone, but I didn't want to converse. Nick tilted his head a little and pouted. "Please?"
I frowned at him and said, "Don't act like a five year old."
"Hey, if that's what it takes to get you to go to breakfast," he grinned. I hesitated more and he offered, "It's on me. I'll pay for your toast and... whatever else you eat for breakfast if you don't eat meat."
I smiled, then, and remembered how kind he was. A little human contact would be good, I decided. "Sure, Nicky."
He grinned and for a moment I wondered what it would have been like to see him in high school, smiling triumphantly as his football team won a Friday night game. He snapped me out of my reverie as he touched my arm once more and said, "I need to give this to Grissom and get my jacket out of my locker. I'll meet you outside?"
"Sure." He headed off, more quickly than he usually walked, and I turned to continue on my way. He was going to Grissom's office. I wondered if Grissom was still pondering my departing comment or if he had resumed his work. I paused and looked over my shoulder.
He certainly hadn't come after me.
Nick didn't take long and soon we were in his Tahoe, driving through Las Vegas. He stopped at a stoplight and put on his left blinker. "So how was the vineyard?"
"What?"
He grinned and looked both ways before accelerating across the intersection. "I was only a few yards away, Sara. I heard you tell Grissom where you were."
I smiled and looked out my window. "It was nice."
"Did Hank enjoy it too?"
My smiled disappeared at his side comment and my head slowly rotated to him. A small smile waltzed on his lips and he looked at me, just for a second, and looked back at the road. "Hey, Sar, it's no secret."
I laughed, the exhausted laugh that I use all to often. I nodded and said, "Yeah, that's the common consensus."
"Between?"
"You, Grissom, Philip Gerard, Marjorie Westscott... The world."
"You're not in the agreement?"
I didn't reply for another few minutes, until Nick pulled into the parking lot of Dell's Diner. I unhooked my seat belt and said, "I'm not dating him, Nick."
I met him at the rear of the Tahoe and he led the way to the door. We entered the diner and I breathed in the familiar smells. As a team, we frequented this diner often; the head waitress, Ann, knew our orders and the cook knew Warrick and Nick by name. We walked past the bar and Ann looked up from the cash register. "Good morning," she smiled. "It's just you two this morning?"
Nick grinned and replied, "We snuck out early."
She chuckled and asked, "The usual?"
"Please," he said. He looked at me and I nodded.
Ann said, "It'll be about ten minutes."
Nick led me down the aisle with his hand on the small of my back. We passed the other three customers, stragglers who had missed the before work rush at the diner and were now hastily consuming their coffee and scanning the paper. We sat at the next to last booth, Nick facing the way we had come and me facing the mounted television. Nick picked a pack of sugar out of the holder and massaged it between his fingers.
"So, you and Hank aren't dating?"
I diverted my eyes to the television, hoping for some interesting change of subject. "Did you know it's going to be eighty-one degrees today?"
"Sara."
I pursed my lips and looked down to him. "I, um, called it off after the Haviland mess."
Nick frowned. "Why? You seemed really happy."
"I was," I mumbled. "I think."
"So who were you at the vineyard with the other night?"
"Some girlfriends. I told them about Hank and we all went out."
"Nice friends," he approved.
"Yeah." I watched his fingers deftly work the sugar packet. I felt his eyes on me but I didn't trust myself to say anything more. What was there to say? I didn't want to admit that Grissom, by just being there, had been the main cause of me pushing Hank away. I traced an invisible pattern on the cool Formica tabletop and said, "You know, the worst part is that, even after exploring every possible screw-up and shitty thing that could have happened, I still couldn't see anything but good coming up between Hank and me."
Nick rested the packet on the table and asked, "Then why?" I didn't reply; I felt I didn't need to. I saw his head bob in my peripheral vision and I heard his hushed voice whisper the solitary answer. "Grissom."
A new waitress came up at that moment and asked us if we wanted coffee. Nick answered for both of us and she set two cups on the table. I kept my eyes down and I felt her quickly investigate my current state. She poured the coffee and a little sloshed over the edge of my cup. She didn't notice; she walked away.
Nick took three cream packets from the same holder he had grabbed the sugar. He pushed two of them to me and put a new sugar packet next to them. I methodically mixed my coffee. He poured his single cream and his abused sugar into his cup and stirred it all together. He took a sip and opened his mouth as soon as it left his mouth, allowing cool air to flow in. I didn't take a sip of mine; I slowly wiped at the forming stain on the side of the ceramic. Nick asked gently, but with a slight edge on his voice, "Did he say anything to you about Hank?"
"He told me that I deserved a personal life and I shouldn't change it because of what Gerard said."
"What did Gerard say?"
"He said that Hank moved the girl's bra so that the evidence would be more favorable for us."
Nick frowned. He hated Philip Gerard. "But you did change it."
"I know."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure."
"Because you thought Grissom really wanted you to?" I was silent, considering the possibility. I had left myself open for Grissom for almost two years. Had I really been giving him another chance? I hoped not and yet on some level I knew I had been doing exactly that.
Nick saw the recognition in my eyes and asked, "How did you know Grissom before you moved here?"
"He was a professor; I was his student," I replied easily. "He was visiting Harvard for a year. I had his class in the fall session."
"And in the spring session?" I looked at Nick and he nodded, knowing exactly what the spring had been like. "And then he went home to California and you went to work?"
"Yeah. And then two years later I joined him in California again."
"And Grissom came to Vegas."
"That's right."
"Things ended badly between you two?"
"Not badly enough as to where I would think I'd never heard from him again but badly enough to cause me to be immensely surprised when he called me in." I drank some of my coffee and waited to feel the liquid trail down my esophagus. "It was a surprise."
"It was a surprise for all of us," Nick commented.
The food arrived. We ate silently, burying the conversation for a few minutes. Nick ate his fried eggs and bacon and toast and I nibbled on my fruit and pancakes. Ann dropped by a few minutes into the consumption and left a pot of coffee on the table for us.
I could barely eat half of my food. Instead, I spent my time pushing it around and thinking. I felt naked, sitting at the booth with Nick staring at me. My emotions and feelings about Grissom and our shared past had never been laid bare before. Nick was kind enough to not make me explain every minute detail of our clandestine tryst. He understood, I think, on some level how my emotions were acting in my life at that moment. He knew that I had attempted to get back what had once been. He knew that I had been informally rejected and now I was striving to find a place to stand.
We finished our coffee in silence. Nick took out his wallet and laid down money. I took mine out to pay for the tip. He gave me a stern look but I just shrugged and placed it down anyway. He sighed and put his wallet away. We both stood and walked out of the diner, calling our goodbyes to Ann.
In the Tahoe, the silence bordered on overwhelming. He drove me back to the crime lab to get my car. In the parking lot, I turned in my seat and said, "Thanks, Nick."
He nodded and said, "Anytime, Sara. I'll see you tonight."
I smiled and descended from the Tahoe. He waited until I opened my car door before driving away.
Well that's the first chapter. I hope you liked it.