Broken Bloody Wings
By Yukari Youkai
Spoiler Alert: For "Quartz" – a fanfiction by squiggle-monkee. Blink and you'll miss it.
He wants to escape, he thinks. Because the perverseness of the tainted light is too much for him to handle. Daisuke has it easy. Because the dark is friendly doesn't mean it still isn't dark.
It isn't just because of the whispers wrapped around him at night, so tightly that he can't breathe without inhaling them, without them invading his system to turn him into tainted light like his curse. It isn't because of the half-there kisses pressed into his neck that sting like thorns even though the illusion lips are smoother than silk. It isn't because of the pain that won't disappear unless he is completely unconscious. The pain that will not fade. It isn't because of that. When he is asked, he will not say it is any of these things.
When he is asked, he will say nothing. Because he will never be asked and has no obligation to answer in light of this.
But if he absolutely has to answer, then he would say it was because of Daisuke. Because Daisuke was the only innocent in all of this. Because Daisuke dances with the dark and still shines brighter than the sun. Because Daisuke has danced with the tainted light once and remained pure. Because Satoshi loves Daisuke. Because Satoshi will always love Daisuke and will never hurt Daisuke intentionally (after all, there are such things as accidents). Because Satoshi knows that his love for Daisuke will taint both of them, endanger both of them, and –eventually (because being optimistic is stupid) – destroy both of them.
That is why. But he knows that escape is futile, because there is no real escape. The whispers tell him so. And he knows this because the whispers are part of him now. The pain is part of him now. The kisses are nectar to him now. Because there is no real escape. Everything will come full circle.
And he would rather not have his wings broken after the glorious flight that is sure to occur upon escape. Broken because, the whispers tell him, it is more beautiful than clipped. Broken because, the kisses tell him, sadness becomes him. Broken because, the pain tells him, it is more fun this way. Broken because, Daisuke tells him, he is destined to fly and fall again and again.
Notice the "Quartz" reference. Of course in Satoshi's eyes, nothing could ever taint his Daisuke. Although I beg to differ. And will prove correct… Mwahaha!