What about a divorce?
Doctor Delbert Doppler looked at his beautiful wife, bracing himself up on his elbow. She was laying towards him, a smile on her face- probably because of last night, if you know what I mean. Or maybe because she was dreaming something nice, that was a good thought. "I love you," Delber whispered, something he'd said to his wife, the Captian Amelia, for years. They had been together for about five years now, but had just gotten married three years ago.
"Don't bother me when I'm trying to sleep, Doppler." She mumbled back, rolling over to ignore his incoming kiss, which he always greeted her by in the morning. Always too damned early in the morning for Amelia, who was used to waking up late, and getting up too early in the morning- except on her days off. Doctor Delber Doppler seemed to assume she always rose up early in the morning because that was her 'army' way. No, if you didn't wake up so damned early in the morning, one would get nothing done, would they? She only wished he woulder understand that, but she felt no need to explain it to him. She thought common sense would due. I mean, for the first few months I slept with him, it was fine and cute, but now. . . Jesus Christ, Delber, what the good Hell are you doing?! she thought as he had crept his hand around her waist.
"Delbert, if you don't take your hand away from my non-pregnant stomach, I will only be forced into tearing it to pieces then using your skin as mache to suffocate you with." She hissed, her voice muttering it into a pillow.
Delbert sighed, and took his hand back. His wife must be in one of her 'moods' again. He wasn't sure who was taking their not being about to make child worse: Him, or her. He tried his best to help, but he only seemed to be making her mad, now.
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"Would you calm down?!" He yelled at her, his face in exasperation as he threw his hands up in the air, (like yeah), then letting them drop to his side in frustration. "Woman, if you don't start talking to me face-to-face, I swear I'll-" he had been following her as she'd stomped away in anger, and ended up bumping into her when she instantly stopped, and he sputtered, frowning at her as he just barely managed to catch his glasses and put them on his nose. She turned around slowly; creepily. "Or you'll what, Doppler? Breathe on me?" She laughed, though it wasn't her soft laugh; she was angrier than. . . well, a cat. Doppler had been frowning at her, but his jaw dropped. "What did you just say?" He whispered, his eyebrows pulling together in anger; he wasn't an angry person, but she'd gone too far. "All I'm saying is that people of your types should brush their teeth more!" He sputtered and stuttered, but he could hardly get so much of a word out at her as she stomped away again.
"I wish you weren't so God damned Bipolar!" He screamed back at her, after a few seconds' of watching her go away. Then he realized what he'd just said was a damned mistake, and maybe that if he ran now, maybe he'd be able to get to Delilah and ride her bare-back to the city. . . but that was such an iffy thing to say.
He was about to die.