This is the sequel to Forgotten but Not Yet Gone. Hints of yaoi and suicidal thoughts. Rated T for safety. I don't own Fire Emblem.
Late at night, Innes would stare at his ceiling, warm from the large blankets that covered him as he tried to get some sleep. As the King of Frelia, he had a lot of work to do. He had everything he needed; his kingdom was happy, his sister was doing well having long ago marrying Ephraim, and most importantly of all, the Demon King was long gone. So why was he so restless?
He had tried to chalk it up to stress; he was the King after all. But that was just a lie to get himself through the day. He had nothing to really be stressed over. It wasn't until a year after that horrible earthquake shook Grado that he figured out what was missing.
(INSERT BREAK HERE)
"King Innes, you have a visitor requesting your presence," a soldier announced after knocking on his bedroom door.
"I'll meet him in my study," Innes called back, fixing his shoulder strap before heading out into the hallway and slowly making his way to the study. He had been expecting anyone and it was a pleasant surprise; he was quite lonely with Tana gone.
He was surprised to see Gerik waiting for him, pacing the room restlessly while twisted the band of purple cloth he always used as a head band in his hands.
"Hello, Gerik," he greeted, shutting the door behind himself firmly. "I wasn't expecting you seeing as you have seemingly fallen off the face of the planet and this is most likely the first time you've talked to any of us in three or four years."
Gerik looked at him, not at all fazed, his lips set in a grim line. "Knoll is dead."
Innes registered this news slowly, carefully making sure none of his surprise showed on his face. "How does this affect me?"
"It doesn't but I...I needed to talk to someone about it," Gerik said quietly. "And I haven't shown my face around anyone else in well...a long time and they think I've died or something. But I figured you would know better."
"Of course. I'm not foolish enough to think you would kill yourself out of boredom," Innes snapped, feeling short-tempered. He hadn't had a good argument in a long time and this seemed like a good chance to create one. "I wasn't under the impression that you and Knoll were close friends."
"We aren't. I was with him in his final moments. I found him in the Dark Temple," Gerik told him, not rising to the bait as Innes wanted him to and instead sitting on one of the couches, waiting for Innes to sit beside him before continuing. "He was so lost. He had lost his meaning like me and I fear I might follow in his footsteps."
"Do something so stupid and I may be forced to kill you."
The words were so serious that at first, Gerik didn't understand they were a joke. When this finally registered, his eyes widened. "Did you just make a joke?"
Innes gave him a bemused smile. "Why I believe I did. So why have you come to me? I can't exactly stop you if you wish to halt your life though I do express my distaste for it."
"Give me a reason, Innes. Anything. Please," Gerik begged. "I don't know what else to do." He was begging, after all.
"I can't give you a reason to continue living. I am only another human being and I have nothing to give you," Innes answered stiffly.
"Just do something," Gerik whispered. "I have never felt so hopeless in my life as I do right now."
"Not even when you were faced with a terrible foe, like the one who dealt you that scar that mars your face?" Innes asked as his eyes traced said scar.
Gerik shook his head "Not even then."
"I don't know what I can do for you," Innes finally said. "I can offer you a place to stay and sleep for now and you can stay here for however long you like."
Gerik sighed. "I suppose that's all I can do right now. I don't trust myself alone. I'll do something stupid."
"I will watch over you, don't worry," Innes assured him.
"And I trust you. I also trust you not to tell anyone that I have made contact with you or that I am now living here. That includes your sister," Gerik told him.
"Yes, I understand. Though I should warn you that Ephraim and Tana are both coming to visit me in two days time. You should make yourself scarce while they are here if you do not wish to be found. I will make sure the servants remain silent of your presence and make sure they give you food of your choice," Innes informed him briskly.
"Glad I'm going to be pampered so well," Gerik said with a grin. "Thank you, Innes."
"King Innes."
"Right."
(INSERT BREAK HERE)
Hiding from Tana and Ephraim proved to be bothersome. He had enjoyed sparring with Innes in the courtyards several times on both days before Tana and Ephraim arrived and now that he was shut up in his room, he was restless. Sure, it was his idea and longing to remain unknown that drove him to do this, but that didn't mean he couldn't be restless.
After spending the entire day sidestepping around the three of them, Tana, Innes, and Ephraim, he finally snuck out during the night to the courtyard near the middle of the castle, determined to work out the unused muscles. However, as soon as he stepped out in the courtyard, he was greeted with the sight of Tana and Ephraim both sparring with spears. He hid himself in the shadow, watching curiously as the two attacked one another, more like a dance then anything else.
Their spears flashed in the moonlight as they twirled about each other in the moonlight. He could feel the passion radiating off of them as they dueled, not quite love but not hate either, something in between, something he could not identify. Finally, the two came to a halt, the tips of their spears pressed to the others throat.
"A draw again, hm?" Tana asked, laughing lightly as she stepped back, dropping her lance to the ground and moving her blue hair off the sweaty neck.
Ephraim flashed her a rare smile. "It seems so. I'm not surprised though. You just keep improving and I'm just staying the same. You will surpass me soon enough."
"Aw, don't say that. You will always get better and better," Tana told him, beaming happily as she crossed the space between them, stepping into the offered embrace.
Gerik quietly padded away then, knowing it would be best to leave the two in peace. Besides, he had finally discovered what he had been missing. And as horribly cheesy as it sounded, at least to him, it was love. He was missing love.
(INSERT BREAK HERE)
Well, now I know what I'm missing, but how do I fix it? Gerik thought, staring at the canopy above his bed.
Tethys was out of the question. She was with Rennac anyways and the red head was more like his sister than anything else. Marisa…if he even suggested it the other swords master he could only guess the damage that would be done to him. Besides, once again, he couldn't look at her in such a way. His thoughts drifted then to Knoll.
That man…he had been so hopeless, especially towards the end. He couldn't help but think that he could've done something, anything, to save the man's life. Then again, it was as if Knoll had been fated to die and there was probably nothing he could say or do to fix it. It was a wound that could never heal, as Knoll had said.
He didn't want to end up like that, without purpose, alone, on the border of death. He wouldn't allow himself to sink there. He wouldn't allow himself to fall. If he had to pick himself up and stand alone, then so be it. It would just be easier if there was someone there beside him.
(INSERT BREAK HERE)
"I know what I need, Innes," Gerik said. It had been three days since he had seen Ephraim and Tana spar and a day since they had left. He knew what he wanted now.
Inness raised a fine eyebrow. "Oh? And how did you come upon this discovery?"
The two sat in Inness's private chambers, seated opposite of each other. Innes's gaze was stony and calculating as ever and Gerik chastised himself for being intimidated. Inness waited patiently for Gerik to speak.
"I was going to go spar, three days ago, and I almost ran into Ephraim and Tana. I watched them spar and…gods I feel weird saying this. I'm missing love, Innes," Gerik said firmly.
Innes stared at him, blinking a few times. "I see. Once again, how can I help you? You keep presenting me with problems that I simply cannot help you with."
Hear comes the hard part, Gerik thought. "I want to learn to love you."
Even Innes couldn't keep the shock off his face as he stared at Gerik unbelievingly, trying to wrap his mind around what the green haired man was saying, trying to make sense of it, twisting the words around in his mind only to reach the exact same end of Gerik wanting him.
"I…can't help you with that," Innes said.
"You sound like a broken record," Gerik joked feebly. "Look, I know it sounds ridiculous-"
Innes snorted.
"But," Gerik continued. "I don't trust anyone else. I can't show up to Marisa or Tethys, I don't even think I could love them in any other way then a sibling like relationship. But you…you are different. You know everything about me."
Innes looked away, suddenly finding the wall very intriguing. It was true. He knew everything about Gerik and Gerik knew almost everything about him. The man knew what he was like under the cold strategic exterior he always had up around everyone else. Upon realizing how much the other knew about him, Innes grew unnerved, sighing heavily.
"Gerik…I won't deny that you know things about me most don't, and vice versa, but love? I'm a King, Gerik. I need heirs and I have never loved anyone before, nor do I want to. Any relationship I'm in I want to be strictly duty," Innes said quietly, still looking at the wall.
"Yeah, I understand," Gerik said, his admission surprising Innes enough to make the sniper look over at him.
"What?"
Gerik shrugged. "It was a pretty outrageous idea but I took a chance. I understand Innes."
Of course he understands, Innes thought dryly. He knows everything about me. "My sincerest apologies, Gerik."
"No matter. But, since things are all nice and awkward now, I think it'd be best if I leave," he said, getting to his feet. "Thank you for letting me stay here for the time I did, Innes. You've helped me sort somethings out."
"Just don't do anything stupid," Innes muttered, looking away from Gerik.
"Of course not. Maybe I'll see you around."
"Maybe."
(INSERTBREAKHERE)
Years passed. Two years, if Innes was exact, and he always was. It had been exactly two years since Gerik had walked out of the palace to gods knew where and he hadn't even watched him leave the room. After awhile, he began to suspect that maybe the man had really done it, maybe he had really killed himself to join Knoll.
Judging by the way Gerik had spoken of him, it was probably likely that in the quiet moments they had shared before Knoll's death, the beginnings of love had started and that was why he yearned for it.
"King Innes, there is a commoner requesting your private company," a man said, one of his advisors that he never listened to.
"It's fine, send them on in," Innes said, waving his hand at the man to dismiss him.
"Sire-"
"Do as I say," Innes ordered.
The man left and only a few moments later the door opened again. Innes knew who it was, but he didn't make a sound, sitting on the same couch he had two years ago, staring at the exact same wall.
"Innes."
"Gerik."
"I came to say goodbye." The voice was soft, broken and hollow.
"Goodbye." Innes swallowed, eyes burning. Was he really going to let the man walk out that door again, for the final time?
"You were the only one who knew me, Innes. Thank you for making things bearable."
"It was no…problem." Yes, he was. He was going to. He didn't want to complicate things in his life with things like love. He knew that if he was going to fall in love with anyone, it would be Gerik, but he didn't want it to happen, he was too scared, and he was willing to admit it.
"So…this is it then."
"Yes. It is."
The door opened again…shut. Gerik wasn't gone. Not yet. There was still time. All he had to do was stand up and open the door to call his name and the man would come back to him and they could be happy and alive and safe.
He didn't move.