Don't be alarmed-the author is not about to kill herself, despite the fact that the plot of this first chapter is somewhat parallel to recent events in her life. Subsequent chapters have no such similarities. This chapter could be considered a one-shot, but there is more to come.
WARNING: character death. Spoilers for those not familiar with Wammy House history.
B made it a point to remember birthdays. So when A turned fifteen, he found it strange that B was the one friend who didn't wish him a happy one.
A and B hadn't always been friends. And it seemed they weren't close by any means lately. But there had been a time.
When Wammy House was new, A and B had been instant rivals because it was expected. Succeeding L was important. Being number one was more important. The pressure was enormous. A hated B. B threatened his status daily. Sometimes A would think to himself that it was all pointless. He just wanted it to stop, by whatever means necessary.
Then B came to his room one night.
"Get out!" A cried, rushing to cover his calculus project before any of his work could be stolen.
"Relax," said B. He walked calmly to the foot of A's bed and hopped onto it, pulling his knees up under his chin. He eyed A at his desk. "I've been thinking," he said.
"News flash," A muttered.
"We don't have to hate each other," B declared.
A wasn't sure how to react. "Are you… saying you want help with homework?"
B half-smiled. "Nah. I'm saying let's quit putting so much effort into disliking each other and we'll have more to put into our projects. Just because we want to beat each other doesn't mean we can't associate on any level."
A thought it over. B's statements were logical. "All right," he said slowly.
He still disliked B, but B kept coming around. At first, A suspected him of trying to spy or sabotage, but as time went by he realized that B truly was leaving his battle in the testing room. Once he was sure of that, things got better. They sometimes ate meals together. Eventually they began to enjoy playing games together. Things were good.
But then they became teens. The older Wammy children were beginning to talk about graduating and careers. A began to worry that he would be separated from B. Number one was still important, but it seemed less so these days.
"I've been thinking," A told B one night.
"News flash," B said with a small smile.
A ignored him. "If you're L's successor I can go with you and… be your assistant or something."
B raised an eyebrow. "You'd do that? I mean you'd be satisfied with that? Wouldn't you want to do something on your own? Number two is not cool."
"Well…" A wasn't sure now that he dared say the rest of what he'd been thinking. But he decided he had to try. "I thought maybe if I was chosen, you could come with me."
"Be your assistant?"
"Not necessarily… but help me…"
"No thanks. If I don't make it, I'll be making my own plans. Going it alone."
A didn't want to admit it to himself, but he was crushed. "I just hoped… I thought we could stay together."
"It's a big world out there, Asker. And it's not like Wammy's. You may as well get used to flying solo."
As the elder of the two, A didn't like to be talked to that way. "I can do whatever I want," he snapped. "I just thought it would be nice if I could be with you."
B let it go and A was glad. Alone in his room that night he let himself cry a little. The teenage years were hard enough without B acting like a jerk.
Little by little, the two drifted apart again.
How did this happen? A wondered to himself. Things were going so well. He decided it was his turn to bridge the gap. He went to B's room one night.
"What are you doing here?" B asked—not in a threatening way, but not very friendly either.
"I've made up my mind," A said quietly. "I want to be where you are."
B blinked. "Um… here you are…"
"I mean after Wammy's. Whether I'm L's successor or you are or neither—I want to be with you. We might be able to work together, and—"
"Hold it," B said. "Why are you so hell-bent to be with me?"
"I don't know… you're my friend," A said, looking at the floor.
"Well… that's fine and everything… We can be friends, but… I um… you're acting kinda like a stalker, you know."
A flushed. "It's not like that at all. It's just—there isn't really anything else I care about. I don't have any family…"
"What about succeeding L? Don't you care about that?"
"Sure, but… once it's decided, it's decided. Either I will or I won't. It shouldn't affect whether or not I'm with you."
"I dunno, A," B said, looking uncomfortable. "I've kind of been building some plans, you know?"
"Will you at least think about it?" A pleaded.
"Sure. I'll think about it."
A knew it didn't mean anything. But he also knew it was all he would get.
The rivalry was building back. A couldn't keep his mind made up from one day to the next whether he wanted to be L's successor or whether he wanted B to be. If neither of them was, he didn't know what he would do. He felt he would no longer have a purpose to his life.
Slowly, it became obvious that B's plans were all or nothing—become the next L or do something completely different. Either way, he was planning to work on his own.
A found it increasingly difficult to keep his head above the academic waters. He felt that his efforts were pointless. He didn't want to be L's successor if he had to be separated from B. But if B wouldn't stay with him either way then losing to him would equal disaster. His work was sporadic—feverish and brilliant at times, slow and mediocre at others.
Because of their academic success, A and B were held in awe by the other students. A hated the attention, but B loved it. He was also envied because he bore a resemblance to L, which he had begun to capitalize on. On the rare occasions when L visited Wammy's, B took the opportunity to study his mannerisms so he could imitate them. He knew that L found A easier to relate to, but he seemed sure that this would change soon.
One day, L arrived at the school without warning. He had just completed one of the greatest cases of his budding career and come back to recuperate. Most of the time he spent by himself in his room, but once in a while he came out to mingle with the students.
Exams were going on that week, and in the days leading up to them B had begun to boast that there wasn't a question his teachers could throw at him that he couldn't handle. He was confident that this round would place him securely at the top of the charts.
"To prove it, I will get one physics question wrong," B declared to some of his friends. "The rest, I will get correct. Anyone can make a few educated guesses and get lucky, but if you know I'm planning to get just one question wrong out of a thousand, it will be impossible for me to achieve by chance."
A did not overhear this conversation, but he did hear about B's confidence. It did nothing to help his own.
One evening L ran into A in a hallway and the two began a conversation.
"How have your classes been lately?" L asked A.
"We just had some major exams," A said, wrapping his arms around himself and feeling slightly sick. "Results will be posted any time now. I did the best I could, but I was working so quickly, I'm not sure all of my theorems were sound…"
"Why don't you walk to dinner with me," L proposed. "We can talk on the way."
A nodded. He recounted a few of his test questions to L and explained his answers.
"Your logic seems right to me so far," L said as they neared the cafeteria. "What else did you find difficult?"
Just then, B rounded a corner in front of them, accompanied by a couple of admirers. He looked at A and grinned like he knew something no one else knew. Something special that would not benefit A.
L looked to his right to see A's reaction, but A had turned away. The boy was walking down the hall, back the way they had come. L frowned.
"Oh well," B said cheerfully, "may I accompany you to dinner, L-san? I was just telling these two about my test results. They were excellent. I got exactly the score I had hoped to get. I'm going to be just like you."
"I'm very proud of you," L said emotionlessly. "But perhaps you should not be quite so proud of yourself." He wondered what had made A decide not to attend supper. Could he not stand B's company?
A didn't leave his room from dinnertime to curfew. At one point, he heard students talking in the hallway. They were discussing their exam results—some of them had done quite well, apparently, but none as well as he and B had. And B had gotten just the score he'd hoped to get. He tried to shut out the sounds and concentrate on what he had to do that night.
A did not come to breakfast the next morning, either.
Morbid, I know... it wasn't meant to be happy. I have two more chapters which I will post soon-they're not happy either, just to warn you.