Within the Unseen

"Appearances are a glimpse of the unseen." -Anaxagoras

A/N: For my beta reader and biggest fan, who possibly loves Totoro more than anything!

Sakura grinned to herself. Skating through the spring air felt wonderful after a whole day cooped up in school!

As she approached Penguin Park, she noted the thick grey clouds overhead – it had stormed for the last two days straight, the rain so heavy even gym classes had been canceled. The ground was still soaked with water, and everything smelled damp and earthy.

Just at the edge of the park, Sakura stopped, her wheels squeaking from the puddles underfoot.

"What's that?" she wondered.

If she'd been walking home from school with Tomoyo, Sakura wasn't sure if she'd have noticed the tiny trickle of something that seemed to ripple across her magical awareness. But Tomoyo had music practice and was back at school.

"Syaoran would know," she said to herself. But the boy she loved – and her only rival in Tomoeda magically other than her own guardians – was still in Hong Kong finishing his last year of school and training there before he planned to transfer to Japan permanently. And Sakura's guardians were busy: Kero was probably playing video games and Yukito was with Touya studying.

Sakura wondered if she should call them anyway, but the wisp of something distracted her and she found herself skating into the park, following the sidewalks towards the forest as if beckoned from within. She drew out the Star Key and, almost unaware she was doing it, transformed it into the Star Wand.

"What is it?" she asked quietly, the sound of her own voice a comfort against a strange chill in the air.

The forest was deep and dense, a fairly large swath of land undeveloped and left as it had been for who knew how long. Sakura had been here many times and it always made her uncomfortable. Now, though, she was equal parts frightened and curious. The curiosity won.

The ground was muddy and spongy, and after only a few yards, Sakura knew she wouldn't get anywhere without trading her roller-blades for shoes. She cast about for somewhere to sit.

"There!" she spotted a fallen log a little way deeper in the trees. She struggled against the wet undergrowth and the mud before dropping down in relief.

Sakura perched on the damp log and carefully pulled off her roller-blades, exchanging them and strapping them to her backpack with practiced ease. Now in shoes that weren't perhaps ideal for the ground but were a great deal improved over clomping along in skates, she felt the tickle of something at the edge of her ability to sense off in the gloom of the forest. Sakura shouldered her backpack and took up the Star Wand.

"Let's go see what's there."

She pushed through wet branches and bushes for what seemed like ages before she came to a sudden, trembling halt.

"Oh no," she moaned, clutching the Star Wand to her chest. There was no denying the feeling crawling over her skin, creepy and eerie and scary.

The unmistakable presence of a ghost.

Sakura felt herself beginning to shake harder and harder. It took every ounce of her courage to not drop to her knees in a howling heap of tears. She started to ease backwards. If she could just get back to the park…

A presence loomed up behind her suddenly and Sakura's composure broke.

"No!" she cried, helplessly pelting away from the terrifying specter, heedless of the fact that it drove her deeper and deeper into the forest. She crashed to the ground and crawled for a few desperate steps before her feet found purchase in the mud and she could run again.

When Sakura had to stop because she was faced with a sheer cliff, she realized somewhere in her panicked run she had lost the Star Wand.

"What do I do? …I need…" she gasped around hiccups that were almost sobs. "Kero-chan…" She tried to reach into her pocket to pull out her little phone to call for help.

And froze.

Sakura looked up fearfully into the shadow of the forest before her. Something new was there.

"Um…hello?" she called weakly.

There was a low, unearthly growl.

"Don't...please…" she begged, tears running freely. She held out her hands as if they could ward off danger alone.

And then the most loathing, hateful, murderous feeling struck her with the power of a blast from Yue's bow. Sakura's stomach recoiled at the potent revulsion pouring into her.

Heedless of the cliff at her heels, she threw herself backwards in a hopeless attempt to escape.

Sakura screamed as she fell.

Until she bumped off something soft and furry.

"Kero-chan?" she barely dared to open her eyes. But even in the dim light she could tell that the fur beneath her hands wasn't golden, and the body wasn't long and leonine.

Even so, Sakura's heart felt safe, as safe as in her father's arms, or Yue's, or her brother's, or Syaoran's. A thousand ghosts could rush at her now and she would be all right. She knew it.

Sakura sat up more fully and blinked at the creature she had landed on. It appeared at first to be a huge grey and white ball with no other features, and the only reason Sakura was sure it was alive was that it was breathing heavily. But as she got to her knees and turned around, she found herself looking into two luminous, enormous eyes set above a face a bit like a rabbit's and a bit like a cat's and nothing like either of them at the same time.

"Um…hello," she said carefully. "M-My name is Kinomoto Sakura. Um…thank you for saving me?"

The creature smiled broadly, revealing a humungous mouth with impractically large teeth, but Sakura knew it was a smile and wasn't afraid.

"TO…TO…ROOOOOO!" it proclaimed in a loud bellow.

"Is that your name?" Sakura asked.

"TO…TO…ROOOOOO!" it repeated.

"Totoro-san," Sakura smiled. "Thank you for saving me, Totoro-san."

Totoro's smile softened minutely.

"Do you live in this forest?" Sakura asked.

Totoro did not reply verbally, but there was something in the way his whiskers moved and his nose wrinkled that she interpreted as the equivalent of a nod.

"All by yourself?"

This time the wrinkle of his face told her he wasn't.

"I'm glad. It's nice to live with someone instead of being alone. Are you a spirit, Totoro-san?"

Even Sakura couldn't begin to guess at Totoro's response, so she put that question aside. Suddenly she remembered something and sat up so quickly she might have tipped from Totoro's broad belly if not for the quick steadying of his clawed hand.

"The Star Wand! I lost it in the forest!" For the first time, Sakura looked up and saw how very fall down she had fallen. "It's way up there. I have to go get it." She shivered. "But I'm scared."

Totoro's hand bracing her closed on her slightly, like a hug.

Sakura turned to him, her fearful tears standing in her eyes. "Will you help me, Totoro-san?"

Totoro regarded her for a long moment before he smiled again. He pressed Sakura tight to his chest, and Sakura sighed happily into the soft, warm fur. Even when he tipped upwards, leaving her more than her own height off the ground, she was not afraid to dangle from his arm. She wrapped her fingers in his long fur, and he made a low, approving purr in his chest.

And then suddenly they were flying upwards through the air and Sakura gasped with surprised excitement as Totoro produced an umbrella from somewhere and caught it in the wind. Light as a feather, they soared over the forest, high enough for Sakura to see all the way back to Penguin Park where the lamps were just turning on against the oncoming dusk.

But Totoro turned away from the park and sailed over the forest. Sakura was too comfortable feeling safe to be particularly worried about that. Even when they made to land, dropping into a grove of truly tall, ancient trees, Sakura was not afraid.

They landed in a hollow deep under the tangled roots of the grove, a hollow that somehow was lit by tiny flowers that winked with a warm glow and fluttered in the breeze Totoro seemed to carry with him.

Totoro released his arm and Sakura slid to the ground. She glanced around. "Is this your home, Totoro-san?"

Totoro smiled. He gestured to a nook in the hollow that Sakura guessed was his bed from the thick pile of ferns and grasses that had been pressed together. Then she blinked in surprise.

Above the alcove was a piece of paper, carefully pinned by twigs. It was a child's drawing of Totoro, two much smaller, similar beings, and a pair of little girls on a green lawn. From the yellowness of the page, Sakura guessed the picture was very old.

"Is that your family, Totoro-san?" Sakura asked.

Totoro smiled.

Sakura smiled too. "They seem very kind," she told him.

Then Totoro turned away and Sakura followed him. At the other end of the hollow, he stopped and ran his claws gently over a long stretch of broken and burned wood.

"Oh, your tree!" Sakura cried. "It burned? Was it hit by lightning?"

Totoro grunted a bit.

"Can you fix it?" she asked.

Totoro looked at her and his eyes seemed troubled. He touched Sakura on the shoulder as delicately as a butterfly. When she turned to him, he held out his other paw. Resting on it was a single acorn. As Sakura watched, Totoro began to hum something almost too low to hear. But with the humming, the acorn started to rock back and forth. After a few moments, it split and a tiny green shoot began to grow.

"That's wonderful!" Sakura grinned at him. But Totoro was still watching her closely and his eyes were solemn.

Sakura looked back at the tree. "You can grow a new tree, but you can't fix the old one? You'll have to wait a long time for a new home, then." She felt sorry and sad for him.

"If I had the Star Wand, I would help you," Sakura told him after a moment. "I have these Cards, and one of them, WOOD, might be able to heal your tree." She drew out the Card and peered at it. "The Cards are my friends and they have always helped me when I needed them. When I find my Wand, I'll try."

Totoro touched her again, holding out his acorn. Then he pointed to the WOOD Card.

"I…I will help, I definitely will," she said. "But I can't use magic without the Star Wand."

Totoro softly dropped his acorn into a little dip in the tree, never taking his eyes from her. Then, he rested one of his warm paws on her head. With the other, he pointed to her heart.

"What…?"

Totoro carefully moved his long claws beneath her wrist of the hand holding the WOOD Card. He tenderly moved it, directing her to press the Card against her heart.

"You…you think I can do it?" Sakura asked. "Without the Wand? That this magic is inside my heart?"

Totoro smiled as warmly as any smile Sakura had ever known.

"I…I can try," she said, "but…if the magic goes out of control…?"

Totoro drew Sakura forward and embraced her, wrapping her in warm, furry softness.

"If it goes out of control, you'll protect me," she translated quietly. "I understand."

Totoro released her and Sakura gazed at him. "All right. I'll try it."

Totoro stood back and Sakura faced the burned and ruined part of the tree. She pressed the WOOD Card to her heart.

"I will definitely be all right," Sakura whispered to the Card. "And so will you. Now, please, heal this wounded tree."

With a practiced flick, Sakura tossed the Card into the air. "WOOD!"

The WOOD Card glowed sluggishly for a moment, then brightly and Sakura clapped her hands and laughed. The lovely face of the WOOD Card turned to her long enough to smile softly before the long tendrils of green began to wrap around the damaged tree. In a few shining moments, the Card had regrown the tree and strengthened it.

The WOOD Card gazed at Sakura for a moment before she vanished back into the Card shape, which settled easily in Sakura's hands.

"I did it!" Sakura breathed. Then she shouted with joy. "I did it!"

Totoro shouted as well, his loud voice rumbling the whole hollow. Sakura threw her arms around him.

"It was inside me all the time – I just couldn't see it. Thank you, Totoro-san!"

Totoro settled an arm around Sakura again, and he drew her up to rest just beneath his head.

Sakura was somehow not surprised when they began to rise into the air again. She didn't even bother to look out as they soared through the air. But as they sank to the ground, Sakura felt a wash of fear once more.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

Totoro set her down gently and Sakura realized the Star Wand was only a few steps in front of her, covered with mud but otherwise unharmed. She scrambled for it.

And froze with a cry of terror.

"No, please! Go away!" she screamed, as the malevolent spirit from before appeared all around her, swirling like a storm and filling the air with vile hate and evil. Sakura dropped and hugged herself as her courage failed her.

And then from behind her came a deafening ROAR.

Sakura blinked. She could feel Totoro's magic, or his influence, like the sun's warmth penetrating the gloomy darkness around her. It seemed all the forest paused to attend to his power as he shouted down the frightening ghost.

For an instant, Sakura could see the ghost – not just sense it, but truly see it. And in that instant, it turned from a monstrous-looking nightmare made manifest into something almost human. It turned sad eyes on her and vanished.

"Is it gone?" she asked, blinking at the sudden absence of that presence.

Totoro stepped around her, moving with a weightless grace despite his size, and retrieved her Star Wand from the mud. He offered it to her with a low purr.

"You helped it, didn't you?" she asked. "You help all the spirits here." She took the Wand and considered it for a moment.

"I met a ghost once. Or maybe she started as a ghost but by the time I met her she was a spirit. She was angry and hurt and sad, and it made her do very bad things. But when I made friends with her, and when I helped her with her feelings, she was able to find peace and she disappeared."

Totoro smiled at Sakura.

She smiled back. "That's what you do. You protect the forest and you help the spirits here when they're ready to be helped. And that's why you helped me, too. I've been here lots of times, but I wasn't strong enough then to use the Cards without the Wand."

Sakura held the Star Wand to her chest and bowed. "Thank you for teaching me, Totoro-san."

Totoro's grin was huge.

Straightening up, Sakura asked, "Will I ever meet you again?"

Totoro held out a paw and waited. Sakura opened her hand and an acorn fell into it.

And she understood.

All the way through the woods back to Penguin Park, Sakura could sense Totoro as if his arm was around her, but she did not see him. But maybe she didn't need to see him anymore to know he was there.

Sakura looked at where the sky had cleared up revealing an endless expanse of stars and a low, rising moon.

"It doesn't matter what you can see. What matters is what you can feel. What you can't see might even be more important, especially if it's inside you."

And Sakura cheerfully made her way home and never doubted that a friendly shadow was always nearby.