Disclaimer: I own nothing

Silence

Chapter One- Symptoms

Breaking News: Big Belly Burger shuts down locations across the United States after salmonella outbreak. Central City has announced plans to redirect incoming patients to other hospitals; at the moment there isn't enough room or staff to handle this crisis.

That's how it started. They said that it was a salmonella outbreak. Imagine this, it's been a long day at school, and you and your friends unwind with a ridiculously unhealthy slice of Heaven, also known as Big Belly Burger.

You get the number five: extra guac, extra onion rings, and yes to the special seasoning—life is grand until you hit the 12-72 hour mark, and that's when your body starts to turn against you.

The symptoms were not disclosed to the public for obvious reasons—we would panic, and with panic comes complete chaos. If they told us the truth, maybe we would've had a fighting chance.

The news reporters glossed over the details.

Reporter: The patient will exhibit symptoms within a 12-72 hour time frame. Do not be alarmed if symptoms begin sooner. If you experience: severe dehydration, heavy breathing, and mild to severe diarrhea, you should go to the hospital immediately. In fact, at this time we are urging all people who ate at any Big Belly Burger within the last seventy-two hours to get checked out—even if you are not showing symptoms.

And what they didn't tell us.

S.T.A.R. Labs classified report: The M3M2 strain was created as a biological weapon in times of severe distress. The strain can be isolated if the experiment is closely monitored. However, the strain has had inconclusive results in an experiment conducted in 1993. For further information refer to The Mutant Crisis. In conclusion, the M3M2 strain has been labeled fundamentally unstable and dangerous until further research can be done.

"Bear, where are you off to?" Mom asked.

"I told Iris that I would help her study for a Physics test." As an afterthought I added, "Dinner smells really good."

"It should. I made your favorite." Mom gestured towards the table. "How about you eat first and then head over to Iris' house? It's been a while since we had dinner together."

It had been a while. I was too nervous to eat. "Or you could save me some?"

Mom frowned. She had always been big on family dinners. They were next to impossible considering that dad was usually working late. Due to dad's schedule we revised family dinner to include the West's. We all had our designated seats.

I agreed because mom never asked for much. Despite my nerves I tried to keep the conversation going. Mom talked about her co-workers; Barb who was always cussing people out, Rodney who was cheating on his wife with the assistant, and Margo with the awful social skills.

I listened and laughed, shoveled food into my mouth, and eyed the clock aggressively. I was going to do it tonight. Sink or swim. I couldn't keep this secret anymore; Iris deserved the truth.

I couldn't predict how she would react, and that terrified me.

"A penny for your thoughts?" mom asked, softly.

I reached for a glass of water and gulped most of it down.

A smile tugged at mom's lips. "This is about Iris isn't it?"

It was always about Iris.

Mom took a sip of her red wine. "Young love, I remember what that's like."

I bowed my head woefully. It was an awful thing that was also masochistically wonderful.

"She loves you, Bear."

"You don't know that."

"Actually, I do. In a crowded room Iris always looks for you." Mom shrugged as if that was the be all and end all of arguments.

Iris looks for you. Bam. Love.

I chewed on my lip to keep from smiling. Mom always knew the right thing to say.

"Love is patient. Maybe the timing isn't right now, but that's okay. The best kind of love is the one that's been there all along. We all have our blind spots, Bear."

I smiled faintly. Mom was right. "Did you love dad before he kissed you?"

I knew the answer. After too many glasses of wine or on holidays, mom and dad would go to sap-zone in the blink of an eye. They would gaze at each other and talk about that first kiss which was followed by a prompt slap.

"I couldn't stand your father!" Mom exclaimed. "He was cocky and entitled. I smacked him so hard after he stole that first kiss!"

After a stolen kiss, an angry slap across the face, and the birth of a science geek son, here they were, still living happily ever after. What I would give to have that with Iris.

Mom glanced over her shoulder at the TV. "One second, sweetheart." She reached for the remote and turned up the volume.

"Central City Hospital has officially reached maximum capacity. All incoming patients are being redirected to three neighboring hospitals—we have no word yet on the condition of the patients inside, but we are being assured that the situation is under control."

Famous last words.

"One skinny latte, no whip, very light on the sugar." Caitlin handed the customer a cinnamon mug.

Usually on the weekend Jitters was packed, but today there was only four people in here, including me.

"Hey, Barry," Caitlin slid over a mug.

"What's this?"

"It's free for starters." Caitlin said winking. "Don't turn your nose up at free juju from the coffee Gods."

I smiled and took a sip. My eyes widened. "Woah, this is good. What is it?"

Accomplished, Caitlin placed her hand on her hip. "I call it the Caitlin Snow Jitters Special, but it's also known as hot cocoa, a little bit of coffee, some marshmallow fluff, and crumbled graham crackers."

"I approve of this juju from the coffee Gods." I said with a nod.

"Anytime, Bear."

Light 90's music was playing in the background. A lot of Sixpence none the richer, Goo Goo Dolls, and Dave Matthew Band, the kind of music that reminded me of Iris.

"What are you doing here?" Caitlin asked.

I took mock offense. "Are you trying to get rid of me already?"

"No," Caitlin squeezed my wrist. "I'm not. It's just typically when you have free time, you're with Iris…except for lately, because of Eddie, but now that they're not together anymore…" she smiled and widened her eyes. "I'm talking too much?"

"That's a good thing. I need a distraction." Caitlin let go of my wrist. "I was on my way to Iris' house but I need to get my head together. You're my favorite psychologist, Cate. I wish I could be as rational as you."

I smoothed down my hair with both hands. Being in my head too much wasn't always a good thing.

"You are extremely rational." Caitlin said. "Except for when it comes to matters of the heart. And tell me the truth…you called Cisco before me, didn't you?"

We were best friends. Caitlin, Cisco, and me were the three amigos. But feelings often got hurt when someone was excluded from the festivities. Caitlin caught the most feelings.

"No, you're my numero uno."

Caitlin rolled her eyes, but I did see the ghost of a smile. "What are you going to tell Iris?"

"I have no idea."

"Well, you need to have an idea."

My eyebrows furrowed. "I've never been good with girls."

"That's a lie."

"What?" I chuckled, and nearly dropped the mug in the process.

Caitlin laughed. "Girls like you, Bear."

"What girls?"

"The girls who think you are funny, and clumsy, and smart."

I wrapped my hands around the mug and stared at Caitlin. "No one thinks that."

She looked down, "You know that you're just as blind as Iris."

"Is that supposed to be helpful, Cate?"

She shrugged. "Interpret it however you want."

I finished off the rest of Caitlin's coffee nectar from the Gods. "Thank you for this. I love you."

"That's what you should tell her." Caitlin said. "Look her in the eyes and tell her that you love her. That's the easiest way to tell if she loves you back."

I smiled at my best friend and gave her a fist-bump before leaving. I wasn't that blind. I knew that Caitlin liked me. I loved her—I really did, but not in the same way that I loved Iris.

"Well, look who decided to stop on by." Joe greeted from the couch. He was wearing his football jersey and a game was playing in the background.

I shrugged off my jacket. "Hey Joe. It smells like a feast in here."

"That's Iris." Joe grinned. "She's on a Pintrest kick which means that she's been whipping up five course meals all weekend. I'm not complaining but the scale is."

"What do you know about Pintrest?" I teased.

"Not a damn thing. I group it with Facebook and Twitter, crack for young people."

Joe's laughter was contagious. I laughed along with him even though I felt like running back to my car like a scared little boy. I missed him. It had been a while since we hung out—watching sports, fixing cars, and working on science projects together.

I walked over to Joe and gave him a hug. "What's the score? Who's playing?"

Honestly, I wasn't into football. I watched it, and dissected it like a science lesson, picking and choosing the events that were worth holding a conversation with Joe. I studied enough to know when to boo at a fumble, cheer on his/our favorite wide receiver, and predict who was going to the Super Bowl.

Iris typically didn't join us when we were in the man-cave-den but when she did; she put my knowledge to shame. She whipped out her jersey, hollered at the TV, and hugged me or cheered when her team got a touchdown. It's worth noting that she was typically on the opposite team of Joe and I.

"How are your folks, Bear?"

"They're good." I said, gripping onto my knees, to keep them from trembling. "My dad's working late at the hospital because of the salmonella…"

"Barry, when did you get here?" Iris interrupted. She smiled down at me with that effervescent beam that commanded me to smile along. Even when I didn't feel like smiling, like a ventriloquist, she commanded me.

"I just got here." I stammered.

She isn't a stranger.

"I thought you were here for me? We've already gone over this. Dad you can borrow Barry on Wednesday and Sundays, every other day he's mine…to torture."

Like a nervous goon I smiled at both Iris and Joe.

Joe rubbed his hands together, "Bear, you heard her. Honey, did you make enough for Barry?"

Iris tilted her head to the side. "I've been testing my cooking on Barry since the easy-bake oven, of course there is enough for him." She ninja-tickled my stomach; which made me laugh out loud. "You better have saved some room."

I had vivid nightmares of the easy bake oven. Iris' cooking used to always make me sick, but like a fool, I always chose being sick over insulting the cook. Hopefully, Pintrest whipped her awful cooking skills into shape.

Iris stood over Joe with her arms crossed. She was clearly waiting for a critique. I settled deeper into the couch—trying not to notice Iris' perfume. Channel Coco Mademoiselle.

I had brought it for her last Christmas, and every time she wore it…I had to exercise extreme control. There was something wild buried deep inside of me. A monster that was clearly waiting to be let free.

"Mmm, delicious." Joe gave her a thumbs up.

I had been zoning out that whole time. I snapped out of it.

Joe shifted his eyes towards me. "My critique isn't good enough. The Pintrest chef demands more."

"Barry will tell me what he thinks. You're off the hook." She reached for my hand and tugged. I stood up and she dragged me towards the kitchen. "I am so excited for you to try this."

On the way to the kitchen Joe asked. "Iris, did you make the pie too?"

"Yes, it's in the fridge." She called.

Joe pumped his fists excitedly. "Barry, you better save room for the pie."

"I will," Iris let go of my hand and she pulled out a chair for me. I smiled sheepishly back at her. "Usually I'm the one cooking for you. Reciprocation is always nice."

Iris massaged my shoulders. "You don't cook, you burn."

"Hey!"

She leaned forward. If I turned to the right…she was close enough to kiss.

I shook the thought. I would never.

"Whenever you cooked for me it always came with a side of extra crispy."

"I cooked for you with love…Iris."

"Aww, I know. I know." She kissed me on the cheek. "And I love you for that. Remember when you used to make the heart-shaped burnt toast. It was like eating coal and granite, but the sentiment was so sweet."

And remember when your easy bake spaghetti almost sent me to the hospital?

"How was your day?" she asked.

"It was okay." My throat felt dry. I could ask her about hers, but I didn't want to hear about Eddie. They weren't together anymore, but the captain of the football team had a way of popping up like a zit, into every conversation. "Hey, Iris."

"Yeah?" her back was facing me.

Caitlin said that I needed to look Iris in the eyes when I told her. She was right.

"I'm listening, Bear."

"Could we um…" My voice cracked suddenly.

Don't tell her.

Iris turned to face me. She stopped serving food onto a plate.

I nervously chuckled, but I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with emotion. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

I was already messing this up.

Iris walked over to me. She held out her arms.

"Uh…what's happening?"

"Just give me a hug."

I stared up at her, taking in her smile. When I stood, Iris crashed into me. She hugged me tightly to her. Her embrace felt like a lifejacket for a drowning victim. "You're the best." I said to her.

I didn't have to pretend to be someone else around Iris. I could be insecure, a dork, and a body to hug when words just weren't needed. Iris' hand went to the back of my head, still holding me in place. "Guess what," she said.

"What?" I breathed.

Iris pulled away from me, untangling her hair from mine. "It's snowing."

I turned away from her deep brown eyes. It was snowing.

She clapped her hands excitedly. "How about you feast when we get back? I know Mrs. Allen made her famous smothered porkchops."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I smell it on you; I'm not ashamed to admit that I search for that scent like a bloodhound. I plan my visits by those smothered pork chops."

"I'll bring you some for lunch tomorrow." I said. I was holding her hand, and I hadn't realized that until now. If she noticed, Iris didn't comment.

"ET?" she asked.

I grinned. ET was code for one bike. When we were kids we had an unhealthy fascination with ET. We were too big to fit in baskets so we took turns riding on the handlebars. "Definitely, ET."

There was a steep hill that led from Iris' neighborhood to the waterfront. The snow was flurrying around us in a white blizzard, catching in her dark hair, and on her eyelashes. Iris was smiling. It was the last genuine smile that I would see for a while.

I took the wheel and Iris positioned herself on the handlebars. Joe kept telling us to be careful, like we were kids. I had always been the careful one. Pressing on the breaks so we wouldn't go to fast, and grandpa-ing around the steep curves. Iris always sought danger.

"Go faster, go faster, Barry."

All of my caution went out the window at her command. That's what drew me to Iris. She challenged me to take risks, to embrace my wild side, to feel…fear.

The world moved around us in a blur of white and black. She was screaming into the night, fog dancing from her lips, and my legs were burning.

Faster. Faster. Faster.

If only we could really fly.

Like Jitters, the waterfront was a ghost town. It was strange.

We walked along the waterfront, Iris' arm linked in mine.

"Are you cold?" I asked, rubbing her shoulders.

"No, you're warm." She rested her head on my shoulder. "Do you want to stop into Jitters for coffee and free heat?"

"No," I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "I was already there."

Iris smiled. "To see Caitlin?"

"Yes and no."

Iris dusted snow off my jacket. "Enough of this." She tugged me towards a bench facing the waterfront. "Talk to me or I'm going tickle it out of you."

We were clearly not a day over five.

"I don't think that you want to hear what I have to say."

Iris shook her head. "I always want to hear what you have to say. Why would you say that?"

I clasped my hands and looked down at them. "I don't want to lie to you, Iris."

The words hung in the silence for what felt like years, until Iris reached for my hand. The snow picked up. I drew in a breath and focused back on her.

I guess I was going down with this ship.

"I love you, Iris."

The first bomb dropped without fallout.

The worry in her eyes softened. She squeezed my hand. "I love you too, Bear."

No, you don't understand. I love you.

On my worst days you effortlessly pull me out of the dark.

You listen to me when I talk in circles. I can't think straight when I see you kiss another guy. I love you, completely.

She didn't understand. I had to make her understand.

"For years I've been trying to figure out how to put it into words. You're my best friend, we've been through so much together. You make me so happy, Iris. Whenever you're around me I feel like I can just be myself. I feel like I can breathe…because I'm so lucky to have someone as amazing as you in my life. I love you."

The words kept falling out of my mouth even though Iris was looking at me with wide, shimmering eyes. Iris was always expressive, even when she didn't say a word—but her silence was like a dagger to the heart.

She doesn't love me back.

Okay…okay, I had prepared for that.

Panic set in. Panic and raw emotion. I felt naked, standing on a stage, confessing everything to the one person that could wreck me.

"You don't have to say anything. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The cold air stabbed at my lungs. "I can't help how I feel Iris. I can't help that I'm in love with you."

"How long," she whispered, at this point she had turned away.

"Since…" I choked on the words. "Since I gave you the roses."

"When we were eight?" her voice trembled. "Barry, you didn't even…"

I countered her. If this ship was going down, if I was already naked, then there really was nothing else to lose. "I loved you even before I knew what the word love meant."

Iris turned to me now and I saw a single tear slide down her cheek.

She didn't text me that night.

I tossed and turned until the sun came up.

I lost my best friend. I lost her. My thoughts were obsessive and damning.

When I checked my phone for the fiftieth time, I saw that there was a single text from Iris.

We're okay, Bear. 3

No we weren't. I had messed us up.

Coffee was brewing in the kitchen. Mom was standing over the stove flipping pancakes. "Morning, sunshine."

"Morning," I said, giving her a bright smile.

I didn't want to talk about Iris. It hurt too much at the moment, and it shouldn't given that I had prepared my entire life for rejection.

"How did it go with Iris?" mom asked.

"Good."

She studied me, nodded, and placed a plate of food in front of me. "Your dad said that it was a madhouse at the hospital. He doesn't think that it's salmonella."

I was thankful for a distraction, any distraction. "Why does he think it's something other than salmonella?"

"Because S.T.A.R. Labs was there running tests."

I raised my chin. That was abnormal. "Running tests?"

S.T.A.R. Labs didn't waste time running tests and researching a salmonella outbreak.

"I didn't hear about S.T.A.R. Labs being there on the news."

"Your father said that all personnel in the hospital had to sign confidentiality forms. They don't want this getting out, until S.T.A.R. Labs figures out what it is."

"Did dad come back home last night?"

Mom nodded. "He did, but he's not feeling that well." She looked worried for the briefest second.

"What were his symptoms?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Bear, your father is fine. It's just been a long night…"

"Maybe he has the flu?"

Mom's lips thinned. "He has a fever and a cough, but he hasn't eaten at Big Belly Burger since the doctor told him he needs to watch his cholesterol." Mom reached in the fridge and pulled out a lunch bag. "You'll be late for school, you can't afford to be late anymore. I love you."

Famous last words.