Song: Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin
Italics are lyrics.
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Do you know what tragic means?
She loves her mama's lemonade
Not the dictionary definition, but the living, breathing one.
Hates the sound that goodbyes make
It's the most devastating, most life-altering, most impossible to leave thing there is.
And also the most beautiful.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her
I'm in love with her.
She swears that there's no difference,
She swore it would be different
And then she traded in her track marks for knife cuts.
Between the lies and compliments
And even when I promised her my universe,
she still found a way to turn her head and return to her wrists.
It's all the same if everybody leaves her.
She also found a way to get me to let her.
I left more times then I can count,
And every magazine tells her she's not good enough,
And came back just as many.
The pictures that she sees make her cry.
A knife breaks more then skin.
And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
What's the difference between love and hate?
Caught in the in between,
The one time I asked her, she said over bloody wrists,
"Whether you turn around and walk out or come over here and stop me."
a beautiful disaster,
She never told me which was which.
And she just needs someone to take her home
So I never got farther then the doorframe.
She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant,
She was still the best dancer at the club.
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction
The only thing she did better was pretend.
She never stays the same for long,
She lied like it was an art,
and she was the master.
Assuming that she'll get it wrong
They all never knew.
I pretended not to.
Perfect only in her imperfection
But when she smiled, I didn't see death.
I saw life.
She's not a drama queen,
She never asked for help.
She doesn't want to feel this way,
So I'd just clean off the knives I found beneath the mattress.
Only nineteen but tired
"We're born to die," she breathed.
Then how come I was still living?
She would change everything for happy ever after
I couldn't look at her.
Caught in the in between,
But when I felt her crawl into bed beside me in the pitch black night,
I didn't have to.
a beautiful disaster,
I just timed my chest to rise and fall with her sobs in the moonlight.
But she just needs someone to take her home
She'd run her wrist across my cheek.
And I'd just turn my head.
Cause she's just the way she is,
My name is etched around her veins,
But no one's told her that's ok
an unfinished promise that she never let me complete.
And she would change everything,
"I can't stop," She said about the scars.
everything –
"Neither can I," I said about her.
just ask her.
I still loved her.
Caught in the in between
Even when she couldn't love me.
of beautiful disaster
Even when she couldn't love herself.
And she would change everything
Love is a powerful thing.
Hate is even stronger.
for happy ever after
They both kept me in the exact same place.
Caught in the in between
Her blood stained knives, my regret stained clothes
of beautiful disaster.
I will never forget the things she'll never remember
But she just needs someone to take her home
Mimi died in January.
Six months later, she stopped breathing.
And she just needs someone to take her home