A/N: The Oneshot Collective from Digimon Fanfiction Challenges Forum (reminiscent-afterthought). Challenge #01, Data. I hope I got this right. 0.o

Warning: ...randomness? (Oh, I gave the Candlemon names because it was getting really frustrating that I had to keep using 'the first' and 'the second'.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I can't remember who does, actually. (:

Challenge #01

i. Data

Do you think you'll die if I blow out the flame on your head? —Candmon (Candlemon)

"Do you think you'll die if I blow out the flame on your head?" the first Candmon asked, bright red eyes staring up at the DemiMeramon-resembling flame perched on his friend's head.

The second Candmon's flame flickered in annoyance, attempting to glare back at the first Candmon and his flame at the same time. Crossing his arms, he retorted, "How would I know? And just what are you going to do about it, Ichirou?"

Grinning devilishly, Ichirou rubbed his waxy palms together, his flame giggling in a way that probably meant 'I have something up my sleeve so you'd better watch out'. The second Candmon shuddered to think about what his friend was deviously plotting.

"Why don't we try and—" Ichirou stopped abruptly when he realised that his hands had been stuck together. Eyes widening to the size of saucepans, he cursed, "Oh, crap."

Amused, the second Candmon — who went by the name of Jirou — burst into laughter, causing Ichirou's face to flush red and his flame to turn an even darker shade of red—orange—whatever. The point was, both candle and flame turned red with embarrassment.

"Congratulations," Jirou mocked, but he got his comeuppance in the next second when he tried to clap and of course, his hands ended up being stuck as well. "Damn it."

"That's called 'retribution'. Or 'comeuppance'. Whatever you want to call it," Ichirou said helpfully, eyes filled with glee at the sight of his friend stuck in the same situation.

"Shut up," Jirou muttered, trying to pry his hands apart. "Argh, damn it. Do you think Wizarmon could help us undo this?"

"I don't think so," Ichirou answered doubtfully, his flame nodding in agreement. "What about Gorou? He's pretty helpful."

At Ichirou's description of Gorou, Jirou nearly choked on his saliva and spat on the ground, scowling, "Helpful, my foot! That guy's an idiot! Why the hell is he even in this tribe? He's—"

"Okay, okay, I get the idea."

After a period of silence, Ichirou spoke up.

"Hey, could I—"

"No way am I going to let you experiment on you!" Jirou opposed, backing away in fear that Ichirou was about to suggest something…life-threatening. "Go find someone else to be your guinea pig!"

"I don't think of you as a guinea pig," Ichirou pointed out, frowning. "What is a guinea pig anyway? Is that some creature from the Human World?"

Jirou shrugged — or whatever motion Candmons used to represent human shrugging — and replied, "I don't know. It's not like I've ever been there. Speaking of which, Elecmon said that one of the Digi-tamas that was sent to the Human World was a Mokumon!"

"So?"

Nearly smacking his forehead with his arms in pure frustration, he groaned, "Damn it, Ichirou. You are an idiot. Don't you know what that means?"

"Am I supposed to?" the blank look on Ichirou's face only frustrated him even more, to the point where he felt like tearing his hair out, though he obviously couldn't because his hands were stuck.

"That means that Mokumon will grow up and become a Candmon like us one day!" Jirou yelled, trying to throw his hands up — trying — but failed, since his palms were still attached to each other. "Damn it, how did I end up—"

"You must be an idiot like me!" Ichirou suggested cheerfully, causing Jirou to topple over in sheer fury, and he oh-so-happened to topple over Ichirou so that both of them ended up lying on the floor. "What the hell are you doing?"

"That's called 'retribution'. Or 'comeuppance'. Whatever you want to call it," Jirou mimicked smugly, content at watching Ichirou realise what he had done.

Indignantly, he used his elbows to push himself off the ground and protested, "Don't copy me!"

"Don't copy me!"

"Oh, shut up!" Ichirou hollered before adding as if nothing had happened, "Hey Jirou, could I—"

Feeling dread pool up in his stomach the moment Ichirou's face turned thoughtful, Jirou shouted, "Over my dead body!"

"Take a chill pill, flame brain," Ichirou scrunched his face up, eying the dancing flame that sat atop Jirou's head.

Jirou rolled his eyes and reminded, "Hello? If you're calling me a flame brain, you're technically calling yourself one too. And you're an idiot."

"Would you stop calling me an idiot?"

"No."

They lapsed into another period of silence until Hachirou skipped by merrily, noticing the gloomy aura that was literally hanging over them like a thundercloud. What the hell? If it's going to rain then… "Oh God! We're going to die! It's going to rain and our fires are going to be put out and—"

"They are?" Ichirou asked eagerly, eyes sparkling with curiosity. "This is awesome! I'm going to be able to test out my theory!"

"Stupid Ichirou, you're going to die!" Jirou moaned, sinking to the ground. "Are you suicidal? Damn it, how're we going to—"

"Hey, you got your hands stuck?" Hachirou inquired, inspecting them inquisitively. That's a lot of words starting with the letter 'i'. "I know someone who could help!"

"Who?" the two nearly screamed into his face, leaning in so close that his vision was full — not to mention blurry — of them.

Raising his hands, Hachirou raised an eyebrow — if he had one — and advised, "Hey, hey, back off. Don't just scare me like that. Wizarmon can help. Didn't you think of him?"

"That's what I told you in the first place!" Jirou screeched, glaring angrily at Ichirou. "Damn it, I'm going to go first and that's that! You're the one who got me stuck in this mess in the first place, god damn it!"

Stomping furiously towards Wizarmon's hut on the other side of the village, Jirou left Ichirou with a very confused Hachirou, who was blinking rapidly. "What the hell just happened?" he asked, turning to Ichirou, who seemed equally baffled.

"I don't know. Mood swings? Maybe he's PMSing?"

"He's not a girl. And isn't PMSing a Human World term?"

"Oh yeah…I completely forgot!" Ichirou flashed a large grin, causing Hachirou to groan.

I can see why you made Jirou that frustrated…Hachirou thought grimly, turning around. "Well, I'll just be on my way back to—" When he realised that Ichirou was gone, he called, "Um, Ichirou? Ah, I guess he went off to find Wizarmon."

He had just taken a few steps before—

"Wait a minute! I just remembered! Wizarmon said that he was going out of town today!"

.

Meanwhile…

"What the hell? There isn't anyone here! Hachirou!" Jirou shrieked, boiling with rage. "God damn it! Can this day get any worse?"

Maybe?

So I finally got down to writing something for Digimon. I still don't like the quality of those I wrote half an eternity ago. ):

Up Next: Virus

Notes: ...I can't decide what I'm going to do. I haven't written it yet, and I'm waiting for an idea. Let's see, which one should I do?

i. What do you take me for, a mechanic? -Hagurumon

ii. If we can't find any food, let's eat you first, okay? -Mushroomon

And after that is Vaccine, which I have a pretty good idea of what I'm doing. (:

-fos (: