It was like, nearly midday, and all I could hear was the muffled sound of upcars and a daunting beeping of Violet's slowing heart. Her blank expression never faltered, yet the whole time all I could do was picture her with her silly voice telling me something stupid that makes me look stupid but really just gives us the time to look at each other. But she wasn't looking at me - her drab eyes made it seem like she'd seen a ghost. I felt meg dull. Maybe I was the ghost? Damn it Titus - she just wanted to dance.

I m-chatted Link, but my body were so shaky that I could barely concentrate on what I was trying to message. Link, mate. I... I don't know what to do. But he like, didn't re: my message till like 10 minutes later. Yo, what's doing?

I felt like abusing him, but the idiot didn't know any better. Besides I was to null to think bout anything. I was like, It's Violet, she can't do anything.

Heh? Like you trying to teach her something?

No, you idiot, but I may have chucked a couple other names in there as well, it's her feed. It's fuzzed up her brain. She can't even move.

S**t, he yelled - in caps. I'm sorry man, I didn't know.

I had tears clogging my eyes still. I asked Link if he wanted to like, meet somewhere. He said there was a party that arvo, but I'd had enough of those. Being all stupid and getting back on the mal, not what she'd want. Nah.

Well, what's thinking?

I said I didn't f***ing know, that's why I was m-chatting him. I was giving up a bit by then. I'd heard there was some chill no simulator where you could like, delve back into memories and never return. They'd already gotten like fifty or so volunteers. 'Way of the future, da da da', but d***, maybe the past is where I should be.

I know a guy

"Heh?" - I said. But he was m-chatting me, the idiot. I asked him what.

I know a guy. Unit, he's been a friend of my father for a long time.

He was typing so slow, like, yea get on with it.

Look, he was involved with FeedCorp for a number of years. Recently he was booted though.

I was still waiting for his point. My girlfriend - well, I suppose she's my ex - but Link was just wasting my time.

He may be able to fix Violet.

But the words lingered for a bit.

He's dealt with similar things before, I'm sure he'd be able to help her Titus. Like, I don't know what he charges though?. Titus?

I almost felt like screaming out to him, but I couldn't, I could also record my scream and m-chat it but what'd be the point. Heck you didn't tell me sooner Link?

Well look, he's fixed a couple fellas, but see what he does, it an't, well it isn't completely legal.

I looked back to Violet. Knowing her, you know, changed my life. I hate parties, and that stupid cow-kicker pushed me over the edge. You know, least I could do was give her a chance now. Maybe it was time I changed her life - but for the better this time.

…

It didn't take the two of them long to arrive. The both had to like, slip in the back without Violet's dad seeing them. I don't know if he'd approve - especially since we hadn't been the best of buddies. When they entered the room, this guy, well looked so null. He was like one of those nords? - nerds? Whatever, he had big glasses which hid most of his face, including a lesion which spread up his nose.
He handed me his hand, like some formal business meeting, but I just turned my head back to Violet.

Can you fix her?

He kind of stared at her for a minute, and was like "now, well, I've performed this many times - but you see, it's like, someone who's reached this stage, da da da, plus there's all the software security, da da da I've never attempted at this level, I -"

"Like, for real, shut up. Can you fix her?" If he came round and said no I for real was going to punch him in the face. Then suddenly Link tells me that he's a hacker. So I punched him, right in the face.

"Hacker? It's all you hackers' fault she's in this mess."

Link rushed over and picked him up. "Idiot, unit, he's trying to help". But I didn't care, he owed it to us anyway.

"No, it's... it's quite alright." He said, as he picked up his glasses. "Did... Did Link tell you what I'm about to do?"

I nodded.

'"Well, alright then. If... if you could take a seat then please, I'll..."

But like, suddenly there's this banging on the door

"Hey! H*** is going on down there!?"

Oh s***, it's her dad.

Link yelled at me to sit down while he'll go distract him, and like, tells his friend to go as quickly as possible. And as soon as he raced out the door, there was this thud – and the banging stopped.

I took a seat down next to Violet. I'm really hoping she didn't hear any of that, that'd be meg embarrassing. But then I took her hand. And as I whispered into her ear, I wanted her to hear every word.

"Violet. Those few months ago. Remember - when we decided we were going to stay in a hotel? As Mister and Missus Smith. Something happened which I barely noticed at the time. It was like those words that never get spoken. You were right, the whole time. And your father was right. You're all right. It was all my fault. I just felt, like, dull at the time thinking bout having to spend the days stuck up on a cold mountain with you. But these past few days have made me realize something."

The nerd was prepping up the room. He had this like, suitcase - one of those things you see in old crime movies and s***. He pulled out these needle-looking things, but I just ignored it.

"You see, looking back it all, I realize I let something get in the way. Something you fought hard against. Something you're still fighting this very second. The Feed lies to us all, and I, I thought that I couldn't go any further with you because I wouldn't be able to be me anymore. But if there's anything I've learnt these last months, it's that you make me who I am - you know, in that good, romantic kind of way. I'd happily trade any moment of my life just to be with that girl, who ever though looked like a corpse, was really something so much more. Well, I guess it's how you put it, that everything seems so much more beautiful when you know it's all going to end."

By that time, my eyes had already started to fall into unconsciousness. The nerd gave me one last smile as another needle penetrated into my skull – you know, as good as he could smile with a broken cheek and all. For moments there was silence. All I could hear was the slow beat of a heart - and the obnoxious noise of the Feed - but that too began to fade.

o o o

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o o o

…

The sound of the upcar roared as it raced through the sky. I felt so disorientated, I was just relived that we bought the one with autopilot. We were flying well out of the city tubes, and looking out, all I could see were a few others, traveling the world like us.

Suddenly, Violet took in a huge breath. It was like she'd just woken up from a nightmare. A year-long nightmare. She blinked, bout fifty times and her eyes bounced left and right as she tried to figure out where she was. I guessed she was a bit confused?

When her eyes finally locked onto me, she made this face. Like I thought I already knew all her faces, but then she goes and does this one on me. I had it on autopilot, so I could have looked at her more, but I kept my hands up like I was still steering.

I waited for a few moments, like maybe she doesn't know she can talk yet? Maybe she can't talk at all, I don't know, I really don't know what he did?

So carelessly I was like, "Can you... eh, can you talk?"

There were a few moments of silence, then she was like "I...". That was followed by this squeal as her hand grasped her mouth. Then she looked at me. And just when I thought she was going to be all 'Oh baby', her hand slaps me across my face.

"You stupid idiot"

Ah, you stupid idiot. Those words were like chocolate to a burning throat - but the good kind of chocolate - not that cr***y one without all the sugar.

But then Violet's just laying there, almost crying. Well crying, she was actually crying but she didn't show it.

I could already tell she had like a million questions.

"The Feed? Why can't I...".

"Look", and I clenched my fists, "Link came round. Good ol' sausage link ay?"

Of course, she didn't laugh. But I realized that had all come out wrong, possibly not the best way to tell her how we saved her life. But too be honest I was unsure of it myself - leaving software stuff to idiots who messed her up in the first place. Was probs just dazed from the whole thing.

So then I was like, "uh. Ok. Uh, you were like, meg damaged up there. You're feed that is. Parts of your feed had to be replaced, and parts had to be removed."

"What?"

"Like, he had to take parts out"

"He - he can do that?"

"Well, not legally he can't. He said there's like all these rules that FeedCorp have that patent their work so you an't allowed to look at it or change it round. But really, they're greedy b****rds, who want you to pay for all their s***. And we - I - couldn't bare it any longer."

"So what, he just offered to do some illegal prodding in my brain?"

"Well, I mean we paid him and..."

"Oh you idiot"

"Heck, you realize you're alive because of me right?"

There was this big long silence. I kinda felt bad for her, I mean she'd been through torture these last few months. But wow, she could be a little more considerate.

She stared at me for a bit more, like she didn't know what to say. Like I would have been good with just 'thanks' or something; I don't know. But then she was like "So my father?"

"Ah, well I don't know if he'll be welcoming us back to soon. And I'm in deep with my parents at the moment..."

"S***, what did you do?"

"Look, your father didn't approve of what we were doing. And I kind of had to borrow some money off my parents - like a lot. Plus they when I told them about my leg they..."

Then she buts in like "What happened to your leg?"

"Can you stop interrupting me?" but I let it go and told her. "Look I said that parts of your feed had to be replaced"

And I made sure to remind her that in this world, with FeedCorp as f***ed up as they are - parts don't just grow on tree. Plus I was very glad I made that reference, cause she liked trees and s***.

And she just, well she just stared at me, and I stared at her.

Oh right, yea, sorry I forgot - no m-chat. "He took the Feed out of my left leg and placed it in your head".

"Don't be null, there's no Feed in your legs".

"You're null" I said. But it was a terrible come back, so I tried to brush it off.

"Nah, I'm not stupid. I know there's no Feed in your leg, but he had some fancy wording for how there's parts of the Feed that like feed into the nerves of each part of your body and da da da".

"You can do that? But what..." She was so dazed it was crazy. Maybe I should stop giving her all this high tech stuff. But she kept asking like questions about memories and how you can use leg parts and stuff. But like honestly? I had no idea what to say. But she was so dazed I could make anything sound clever.

She just rested her head on the window.

"That's so unit"

She just kept saying it

"That's soooo unit".

"Wow, that's so unit".

I asked her if we could just drop it. Like, it was a big day. Violet's no longer dead. I'm like wanted now.

But then she goes all suspicious and is like, what aren't you telling me?

"Uh. No stress"

"Titus?"

"Ah look. You probably having a hard time remembering. But when your Feed was playing up, and you started losing feeling in your body. Like, without your Feed working properly, you couldn't move your hands and s***?"

Her mouth dropped as she realized. "Oh".

But like, no stress I said. I could probably go skiing with one leg.

Of course she was so silent again. Like again. Like before all this I could never shut her up, but now she kept giving me the silent treatment and I wasn't sure if I liked it.

My Feed kept flashing up these ice breakers, but I seriously could care less, so I blocked most of them.

When Violet finally looked back at me, so wanted to know where we were going.

I told her somewhere we can set things right.

"What, you're taking me on some romantic dinner? I didn't even think we were going out anymore."

Suddenly we were held up in the tubes by some Police(tm) drones. Some upcar mustn't of had maintenance or something. Luckily they pulled him up, cause on the news another guy's upcar fell apart and like five or so people were killed. One of the stars of Oh? Wow! Thing! was one of those people. He was the only one our Feed was telling us. I don't even know if like, the other people killed were male or girls? I thought this moment would be a good chance to talk to her bout that stuff, or other things. But then I realized we'd probably never get to talk the way we used to. Like what do we even talk about now? Oh hey, how was it like to be dead?

Eventually we got to pull around.

I told Violet that it was a possibility that Police(tm) was looking out for me - you know, for questioning and junk.

"Oh, so you're just taking me along on your fugitive trip."

I had no idea what fugitive was, so I looked it up.

"Just so you can avoid some questioning"

Actually I was probably going to jail, but same difference.

"Do you even... Why did you do all this?"

I took my hands off the car and grabbed her hands. It was - look I know I may have messed things up a little.

"No, don't. I'm sorry. I overdo it".

"No see, that's what I'm talking about. Your father was right. You don't need to be sorry. Sure, you were a little forward - and I found the whole thing null at first - but seeing you like that the other day. It was meg hard seeing your Feed efficiency at only 4.6%. I realized that if it makes you happy, then maybe I should give it all another shot."

The bright white blanket of snow over the hills suddenly was visible and we pulled out of the tubes into the village.

The upcar stopped just outside a little building.

I let a fake laugh and told her how I couldn't afford what we had last time, but we had three nights at this little place. I pointed down the mountain a bit to where I believed they'd sell some beer, but I'm sure wine would do. Bigons if I knew where to find jerky though.

"You know, we can go dancing, there's no engine sounds..."

"Titus?"

"…but you'll probably have to wait for the dog. Animal pounds are running out of dogs these days.

"Titus..."

"Heh?"

"You don't have to do this you know? It was real sweet of you to do all this, but you don't have to waste your time on me anymore. I don't wanna bore you or upset you, and... Oh gosh, I really didn't want to put you through all this". And she started crying, but full on crying. I wasn't sure if it was good or bad tears. But like, I hoped it was good tears.

Then she grabbed me real tight round the collar, pulled me in and kissed me. But for once, when our lips touched, I felt this was the most genuine kiss she'd ever given me.

Like for once she wasn't just with me cause I was a different stupid thing, or cause she was dying, but like because we finally had something more.

She brought out something else in me that I was trying to resist, cause I was scared.

o o o

"Titus. Titus, can you hear me?"

"Titus I don't know if I can do it. It's too late."

"I might lose you both."

o o o

But none of that mattered. No, because maybe – maybe – both of us deserved something better than what our world could offer. My life could never be the same. Shoes and shirts all seemed pointless – like, whatever my fed had in store for me, surely it had to be worth something more than what I'd lived with. And maybe – maybe – Violet knew that too. The whole time, while I should have been savoring the moments while they lasted – maybe she was scared as well – scared of the day when it all ended.