A/N: This is just something inspired by an entry from the book Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul. I liked it so I made my own version. This is from Ron's point of view. I'm not really sure if it's good but it works for me. I'm not really good at humor and I tell very corny jokes. It's also really hard to write the way Ron talks. Anyway, I hope you read and enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't worry, JK. I gain nothing but pure fun. :)
SIGNS
Harry Potter is delusional.
Yeah, I repeat, he is delusional... he had done the weirdest of the weird, the stupidest of the stupid.
So when did this delusion start? Oh, I have no idea.
Maybe it started when I realized that he realized that seeing her study too much for exams gives him a headache. Or that day he started to offer to cut up her steak and spoonfeed her at dinner because she hardly eats anything. Or when I started catching himself ending a discussion with her by saying, "Because I'm your best friend, that's why."
Er, let me say, too much love will kill you? He's become completely mental.
Obviously, he has fallen in love with our witch best friend. All the signs are there. He has crossed the blurry line between friendship and romance. On the bad side, he stubbornly refuses to admit it to himself because he's afraid she might lose her.
He faced a thousand dementors, killed a basilisk, won the Triwizard Tournament, and he couldn't admit his feelings to a girl he spends time with everyday? How bloody brave.
But before I go on and rant about my eternal list of great suggestions about how he should tell her, I propose to go over the events in the past few months, weeks, and days that led me to strongly believe that Harry Potter is smitten:
He hexed Parvati Patil (good Merlin nobody but I saw him do it) for accidentally ripping a page of Hermione's copy of Hogwarts, A History and willingly swapped his new-looking, rarely-opened book with hers.
Hermione threw up because of too much stress(?) and he caught it. (All I could say was 'eeeeeww'!)
Just after Hermione threw up, Neville threw up in front of him at dinner and he kept eating.
He has time to shave only one leg at a time.
He had become an advocate of SPEW.
He has learned how to tie her hair in a ponytail (which is really gay).
He has mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on her plate in hopes that she would stop reading and eat something for breakfast.
It has become Harry's hobby to cut her sandwich into unusual shapes still in hopes that she would eat them.
He hopes that ketchup and mayonnaise are vegetables because they're the only ones she eats when in the mood.
She insisted that he read a poem she made him write entitled Once Upon a Potty out loud in the Great Hall, and he did it.
He thinks that the world would collapse if she went to bed with ink all over her hands.
He read somewhere that the average seventeen-year-old reads three books a day, feels proud and boasts that Hermione is "above average."
He clings to the high moral ground of "self-cleaning"; he bites his own nails saying the act is hygienic and a nailcutter would consume much of his time (with Hermione).
He sings her a lullaby every time she falls asleep with her head buried in a book in the couch in the Gryffindor common room where she usually studies (and where he usually stares at her).
He convinces himself that the said position is comfortable enough because he doesn't wanna wake her up because once she does, she hardly sleeps again.
He's losing sleep.
He tells her at least once a day, "I'm not staying up late with you again," but I know he wouldn't trade time spent with her for anything.
He settles himself on the studying couch every night after dinner and freaks out when it's 8 o'clock and she isn't there yet.
He can't bear the thought of Seamus Finnigan being her first boyfriend.
He hates the thought of them kissing even more.
He got obsessed when she clung to him upon parting during her first date, then got obsessed again when she skipped in without looking back the second time.
He went out on a date to Hogsmeade with somebody he hasn't even met before because she wanted him to, then spent more than half the time checking on her and Seamus.
He always offers Seamus advice (or is threat the right word?) in a tone that makes it clear he does not expect her to survive the afternoon in the care of such incompetents as her boyfriend.
He flashed the widest grin ever when Hermione and Seamus had a row.
There you go. Now, wouldn't that be interesting? I guess it's time for me to find him and start ranting about my eternal list of great suggestions about how he should tell her...
Well, good luck to me. But most of all, good luck, Harry.
A/N: What do you think about it?