Two Spies on one team was a rare occurrence, and I was fortunate enough to experience this. My fellow RED Spy usually kept to himself, as did I, though it was hard to keep at least Scout off of my case. It's because I was the only woman on the team; that kid was hornier than hell, and I guess that my rejection only made him want me more. Oh well, not my problem. They called me Veronique, because well…it got pretty confusing with everyone calling "SPY!"; I fixed that problem before it got too out of hand.
I was up on the roof again that night, as usual. Slinking around inside the base was getting annoying, and Scout was on a tangent; I swore that if he made a pass one more time that I would gut him. I dug a cigarette out of a pocket; my stash was getting pretty low. I shrugged, lighting it and taking a long draw. I blew the smoke out of my nose, and looked up at the sky until I heard a faint sound. It sounded like…singing. In French.
I thought I was alone on the roof, but to my left I saw the faint outline of my fellow Spy against the moonlight. His back was turned to me; otherwise, he would have noticed me right away. What could I say? I was pretty quiet, out of habit.
His song stopped with a long, low note. I tried to tread as softly as I could, getting nearer to him. After a few moments of silence, he began another song.
"Je sais ton amour
Je sais l'eau versée sur mon corps
Sentir son cours jour après jour
J'ai remonté les tourments pour m'approcher encore
J'ai ton désir ancré sur le mien
J'ai ton désir ancré à mes chevilles
Viens, rien ne nous retient à rien
Tout ne tient qu'à nous
Je fais de toi mon essentiel
Tu me fais naître parmi les hommes
Je fais de toi mon essentiel
Celle que j'aimerais plus que personne
Si tu veux qu'on s'apprenne
Si tu veux qu'on s'apprenne…"
It was a song that I knew and loved well, from a musical. His voice was like a knife, cutting me with each note. It sounded so real, that it felt he was singing to me. I had to join in.
"Tu sais mon amour
Tu sais les mots sous mes silences
Ceux qu'ils avouent, couvrent et découvrent
J'ai à t'offrir des croyances
Pour conjurer l'absence
J'ai l'avenir gravé dans ta main
J'ai l'avenir tracé comme tu l'écris
Tiens, rien ne nous emmènes plus loin
Qu'un geste qui revient…"
His voice stopped when I sang, but our voices rose together for the last few verses.
"Je fais de toi mon essentiel
Tu me fais naître parmi les hommes
Je fais de toi mon essentiel
Celle que j'aimerais plus que personne
Si tu veux qu'on s'apprenne
Si tu veux qu'on s'apprenne
Si tu veux qu'on s'apprenne...
Je ferai de toi mon essentiel
Mon essentiel
Si tu veux qu'on s'apprenne
Qu'on s'appartienne.."
I took a deep breath, letting out a contented sigh. It was even more beautiful than I ever thought it may be. I went and sat on the crest of the roof beside him.
"I wondered when you would make yourself known," he said shamelessly. I offered him my last cigarette, which he accepted.
"Well, I honestly thought I would be alone." I blew a smoke ring toward the moon; the smoke traced its outline, like an almost ethereal afterglow. I gestured around us. "This is where I go to get away from those idiots."
He made as to leave. "I didn't know that it was taken."
"Non."
I grasped his arm, very uncharacteristically. He halted; he may have even been surprised.
"Resté, s'il te plaît." I let my hand slide off of his sleeve. He sat back down.
"Oui," was his reply. I studied the stars for a while, and then asked him my question:
"How did you know that song?"
He shrugged.
"It is très populaire, tu sais bien."
"Oui, mais…" I trailed off. "It is my favorite song. You knew that. Comment?"
He shrugged nonchalantly.
"You hum it in your room, before you go to bed."
I did nothing, but something inside of me gasped.
"So you have been watching me, non?" It was my turn to shrug. "Not to say that I am surprised."
"I find you…interesting." He reclined slightly.
"How so?" I retorted. He gave a dry chuckle.
"Well, it seems that you and I have much in common." With a long drag, he continued. "We feel the same about our…comrades, and enjoy many of the same things." Exhale. Why did his lips seem so inviting?
"So you have much interest in me, non? And what does this imply?" I rubbed my out cigarette, flipping the butt out into the darkness.
He reclined further, leaning on his elbows. He also finished his cigarette.
"Oh, je ne sais pas. What are we but human?" He turned to look at me. I smiled wryly.
"Et pourquoi do I get the feeling that you were singing à moi?"
He was upright in an instant, face to face with me. In a low voice, he said, "For the same reason that you were singing to me."
I stared into his eyes, returning the intensity with which he held my gaze. We were nose to nose; I could smell his cologne, French of course, and the lingering aroma of the last of my caramel cigarettes circulated in the air around us.
In the blink of an eye, his tie was wrapped around my hand. I pulled him into a deep kiss, and I felt him relax for the smallest moment. I suddenly broke the kiss, releasing him and pausing to study the stars once more. From the edge of my vision, I saw him straighten his tie.
"You are…not being yourself tonight, Veronique." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you desperate?"
I laughed a little too loudly, giving an undignified snort at his suggestion.
"Oh Spy, mon petit, if I was desperate, you know as well as I that Scout would oblige me."
Another wry smile. "I suppose that would be correct." Pause. "Then why so sporadic, ma cherie?"
"Mmm…" I let myself trail off, my thoughts elsewhere. Simpler times. No war, no pain. A time when all I wanted was a house in the French countryside. When I was never as good at taking lives.